Bad Random Life Tips.

[VoraciousValue]

Yes, you should eat the whole pizza.

 

[stickygirl]

It's a perfect time for diy botox & lip-filler because, in the unlikely event it goes wrong, hide it behind a face mask

 

[Jada59]

Be a rioter. Get free stuff!

 

[VoraciousValue]

Take two pills of pure nuclear waste and call me in the morning.

 

[vidiman]

Kneeling on a neck..seems acceptable to some (so called humans)

 

[stickygirl]

If you need to catch a bus, go round all the other passengers and ask for their address. That way, if you need to contact-trace them, you have the information

 

[mnbreastluver]

Need a quick shave but don’t have the time? Pour drain clog remover wherever you need a smooth patch!

 

[Jada59]

Coffee enema? Ha! Try ice cream!

 

[mnbreastluver]

Condoms make great waterproof socks.

 

[Jada59]

Eat crackers in bed.

 

[stickygirl]

If you're worried about your eyesight, drive your wife and family 30 miles to a famous landmark. If you get there and back without an accident, your eyesight is fine.

 

[stickygirl]

Glory-holes are a sensible way to enjoy sex and avoid the virus

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you have kids look up the nearest pedo. They will often provide short notice babysitting, often free but sometime they will pay you!

 

[stickygirl]

Pets make great companions and can add variety to your BBQ if your local store has run short

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

You can make a wig easy. Use a wig head, knee highs, pet hair, Kool aid and super glue.

Wig heads are at least $3.99.

*Go to your nearest pet groomer, get the fur contained (they'll give it away). If picky, follow the dog who's fur/hair you like.
*Put knee high on wit head.
*Use the super glue on the fur on one side and stick it on the knee high. (The dollar store has super glue) Let it dry.
*Kool aid for the color you want. In a pinch, shoe polish works.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Want whiter teeth? Try gargling household bleach for a brighter, whiter smile!

 

[Lastingimpressions]

Spend all of your time hoping and wishing for change but don't take any actions toward the change you seek.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Need a cute idea for a mask? Get some great tips by watching Silence of the Lambs!

 

[Jada59]

Butter your kitchen floor to make it extra shiny!

 

[mnbreastluver]

Want to become great at cunnilingus? Eat a lot of beef jerkey to strengthen your jaw muscles.

 

[stickygirl]

Need material to patch a worn jacket? Use a guy's scrotum - there's always far more than they need and it has a nice pattern.

 

[VoraciousValue]

When you put a condom on, always masturbate into it first to avoid coming too soon.

 

[sally_sparrow]

Duct tape yields the same results as bikini wax, but at a fraction of the cost.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Love baked goods but hate that there’s no crunch? Leave the egg shells in the mix when adding eggs.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Shaving and in a rush? Use some hairspray as shaving cream, strike a match, and voila. You just shaved in two seconds