Bad Random Life Tips.

If you've had COVID-19, you're immune to everything -- flu, strep, ebola, malaria. It's a get out of jail free card, so find someone and get infected!
 
The secret to avoiding Covid-19 isn't social distancing, it's nudity. The less you wear, the safer you are. No need to work from home, we can reopen stores and restaurants. We're just a nudist country now.

You can help save us from this disease! Start today!
 
If you need to rush somewhere, always carry a loaded gun and release warning shots. People will think you are a police officer saving the day.
 
Before washing your hands, eat a bag of cheetos so the orange dust will show you exactly where you missed.
 
Putting handgel in your mouth means you can dispense the gel by spitting onto your hands without having to touch anything else
 
To save time having to count change from your purse, superglue the coins together into useful amounts
 
Until we end social distancing, use a blind person's cane in the street: you get to wear sunnies, pull funny faces and people always give you plenty room.
hint - ask the blind person first
 
if you've recently had a baby that's learn to crawl, strap a hoover to their knees, now your useless child is a makeshift roomba.
 
If you're tall and someone asks you "How's the weather up there?", you just say its raining and spit on them.
 
Always hide a body in the trunk of your car, that way when it gets stolen they'll immediately return it.
 
Restrooms are virus hazards. If you're called back to work, put a camping potty by your desk: reduce risks, improve social distancing and stay safe
 
Some human medications are also used for animals. You can purchase these medications (like Prozac) for “your pet” and potentially save yourself hundreds of dollars.
 
If you break into an old person's house, go for the medicine cabinet - they have the best drugs
 
Door handles are germ magnets so it's best to just leave all the doors in your home open all the time. That goes for car doors also.
 
Make sure to hit your dick with a hammer before sending a dick pic to ensure the recipient sees the largest form possible.
 
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