Bad Random Life Tips.

[DeckardNYC]

If you've had COVID-19, you're immune to everything -- flu, strep, ebola, malaria. It's a get out of jail free card, so find someone and get infected!

 

[Xerxes82]

The secret to avoiding Covid-19 isn't social distancing, it's nudity. The less you wear, the safer you are. No need to work from home, we can reopen stores and restaurants. We're just a nudist country now.

You can help save us from this disease! Start today!

 

[sally_sparrow]

If you need to rush somewhere, always carry a loaded gun and release warning shots. People will think you are a police officer saving the day.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Before washing your hands, eat a bag of cheetos so the orange dust will show you exactly where you missed.

 

[AnastasiaAllis]

When responding to advice, say "You're right" instead of "I know"

 

[stickygirl]

Putting handgel in your mouth means you can dispense the gel by spitting onto your hands without having to touch anything else

 

[stickygirl]

To save time having to count change from your purse, superglue the coins together into useful amounts

 

[DeckardNYC]

Drink until you're really angry, then post online.

 

[stickygirl]

Until we end social distancing, use a blind person's cane in the street: you get to wear sunnies, pull funny faces and people always give you plenty room.
hint - ask the blind person first

 

[mnbreastluver]

if you've recently had a baby that's learn to crawl, strap a hoover to their knees, now your useless child is a makeshift roomba.

 

[DeckardNYC]

Cigarettes don't kill, it's the cancer. Smoke up, Johnny!

 

[mnbreastluver]

Buy a 100 pack of latex disposable gloves and cut the fingers off to use them as condoms.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you're tall and someone asks you "How's the weather up there?", you just say its raining and spit on them.

 

[fisherfella]

When in doubt, its always a good idea to take medical advice from your President.....lol

 

[mnbreastluver]

Always hide a body in the trunk of your car, that way when it gets stolen they'll immediately return it.

 

[stickygirl]

Restrooms are virus hazards. If you're called back to work, put a camping potty by your desk: reduce risks, improve social distancing and stay safe

 

[mnbreastluver]

Some human medications are also used for animals. You can purchase these medications (like Prozac) for “your pet” and potentially save yourself hundreds of dollars.

 

[stickygirl]

Eating a meal with uncooked rice saves energy and means you'll feel full up for ages

 

[stickygirl]

If you break into an old person's house, go for the medicine cabinet - they have the best drugs

 

[Taegul]

Door handles are germ magnets so it's best to just leave all the doors in your home open all the time. That goes for car doors also.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Make sure to hit your dick with a hammer before sending a dick pic to ensure the recipient sees the largest form possible.

 

[stickygirl]

If a man sends you a dick pic, re-post it on Twitter to have them fact check it

 

[mnbreastluver]

Having a bad day? Wrestle a gorilla to take your mind off it

 

[VoraciousValue]

When in the throes of passion, motorboard a woman's breasts and say, "Daddy's coming in for a landing!"

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you get arrested for indecent exposure you will get free clothes.