Bad Random Life Tips.

A face tattoo allows you to share your artistic tendencies with the world around you.
 
Is your sink full of dirty utensils? Put some clean dishes in the draining rack! Now it looks like you’re working on it.
 
COVID-19 is a respiratory disease so injecting yourself with disinfectant would be useless you need to fill a humidifier with bleach and inhale it, duh!
 
Safety, schmafety, you’ll never clear the jam in your disposal with tongs. Man or woman up and just put your hand in there...actually women’s hands are more slender and will fit easier so maybe you should do it
 
Instead of jizzing into tissues or a cum sock, try computer paper. The jizz won't seep through, and offers a much larger target. Computer paper is a cheap and abundant resource, great for catching gametes at mach speed.
 
Forget those expensive waxings, sharp razors or marginally effective store bought dilapitories, Drano will melt the hair right off your skin like magic.
 
Choking Safety: Always keep a long dildo nearby when snacking. If food gets lodged in your throat, you can use the dildo to force it down into your stomach.
 
Once having been pulled over by a police officer, it is best to express your knowledge of state and constitutional law chapter and verse to intimidate them into letting you go with an apology from them for pulling you over in the first place. If they try to get away with giving you a warning, tell them they can shove it up there ass and begin reciting the Bill of Rights.
 
If your gf finds you looking at trans porn, tell her you still think she's fabulous even if she has lost her ...y'know, her thingy and was it in an accident or did it have cancer?
 
If a snake is hissing at you just cover it’s mouth. It can’t make that annoying noise if it can’t breathe
 
House a little messy? If you let it go for long enough, eventually the people from the TV show Hoarders will come and offer to clean it for you!
 
As soon as you’re done using your charcoal grill make sure to put the hot ashes in your trash can. The hot ashes will sanitize the inside of your plastic trash can making it clean again.
 
With the gas prices so low right now, there is no better time to fuel up, strap in the driver’s seat, and run your car with the garage door shut! End it all, and save cash whilst doing it!
 
With the gas prices so low right now, there is no better time to fuel up, strap in the driver’s seat, and run your car with the garage door shut! End it all, and save cash whilst doing it!

There’s no better life coach than Frustratedthoughts. Fortunately for you, new appointments are opening up daily.
 
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