Bad Random Life Tips.

[stickygirl]

Now is good time to start smoking and using bongs: keep your lungs smokey to keep coronavirus at bay

 

[mnbreastluver]

Tired of washing your hands? Get them surgically removed!

 

[VoraciousValue]

Fuck the police!

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

Fuck the police!

There's an opening spot in N.W.A. since Flava Flav was kicked out the group.


A Jewish guy dressed like Groucho Marx rapping Fuck the Police in Compton, CA is always a great way to attract a crowd.

 

[stickygirl]

Always ask the zoo supervisor to find out how far you can go in the Petting Corner

 

[Jada59]

Always ask the zoo supervisor to find out how far you can go in the Petting Corner

Hehehe!

Dry skin? Slather yourself in butter.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Want to drink but can't afford expensive vodka? Just drink paint thinner!

 

[Devlishone4fun]

Always check your blinker fluid before you drive your car.

 

[Deacon_Voss]

"Sure, go ahead and collect half smoked cigarettes in front of the hospital, you'll be fine."

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

Toilet water is always a safe alternative washing your hair. Your head fits right in it.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you don’t know if you’re fully washing your hands, do it with superglue instead of soap and water to easily find out what parts you’ve been missing!

 

[stickygirl]

Girls, if guys cat call you from scaffolding, show them your tits: one of them will probably fall to their death

 

[stickygirl]

If you have a heart attack or break a leg DO NOT call 911. It's important that statistics are not skewed by non-covid problems at this difficult time.

 

[stickygirl]

Check the filter in your car aircon by running the engine in your garage and see if you can smell any fumes inside

 

[mnbreastluver]

When you do go out and about, bring a water bottle sprayer with you and fake sneeze on the back of people's necks. Just say, "it's just a prank bro!" -and people will thank you as they realize how important it is to have a good sense of humor in these stressful times.

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

Keep not only pepper spray on your keychain, but a Rambo knife hooked on it too...for cutting your nails.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you’re ever visiting Syria, carry a US flag so they know you are the good guys. They will love you.

 

[Taegul]

Use a Chinese finger puzzle on your penis. Make a game of it to see if you can get off before you rip it off.

 

[mnbreastluver]

You can skip medical school and just buy a doctors coat. People will still think you are a doctor.

 

[Taegul]

You can skip medical school and just buy a doctors coat. People will still think you are a doctor.

I might add that staying at a Holiday Inn Express can help also.

 

[frustratedthoughts]

When you are watching a movie with your parents and a steamy sex scene comes on, ease the tension by asking, “Hey Dad, is your cock as big as that guy’s?”

 

[fakingadulthood]

When you are watching a movie with your parents and a steamy sex scene comes on, ease the tension by asking, “Hey Dad, is your cock as big as that guy’s?”

Providing visual proof of the answer

 

[mnbreastluver]

Can’t find eggs at the store right now? Just use Elmer’s Glue, it acts as a food binder, is non-toxic, safe to eat, and easily measurable.

 

[stickygirl]

Girls: annoyed by the way your guy slips his hand down the back of your jeans when you kiss? Put a square of chocolate between your buttocks in advance and you'll only have it happen once again.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Dispute items on your credit report you want removed. The debt collector needs to respond within 30 days however many companies are short staffed, closed, or backed up.