Bad Random Life Tips.

[Misshotndeep]

Is your life in need of some adventure? Start mailing out anonymous "I know what you did" cards to your friends and let the fun begin.

April fools plans made!
I was going to send out cards saying ”I C U”, but your idea is better. Hehe

 

[mnbreastluver]

If it's been a while since the last time you showered, it's likely the bacteria in your pits are making you smell awful. Try using Lysol® wipes or spray to kill them off and leave a fresh lavender scent.

 

[stickygirl]

If your doctor asks you for a smear test, tell her she's a slag and everyone in the town will soon know about it.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Pee in a glass, add ice, and hide. Someone will eventually drink it.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you have to urinate and there's no bathrooms available, just pee on a government building. Even a parking meter works! You can say it's a protest and that makes it protected free speech so they can't arrest you.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Have Turret's Syndrome? Become a preacher.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Don’t let your car tell you what to do. Put a piece of black tape over your gas gauge and only stop when you run out of gas.

 

[Kat73]

Call your ex. Tell them you made a mistake and want them back.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Feeling depressed? Go really close to someone and cry in front of them. If they try to move away, move with them. They will have to cure your depression.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Extremely broke and don't know what to do? Start a religion and immediately enjoy non-tax status.

 

[mnbreastluver]

To attract women, rub cum on your neck the pheromones in it will draw them to you.

 

[stickygirl]

Don't forget to leave room for the oil cap when you fill the engine, or you may get spills.

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

Flushing an already full toilet is always a good idea to see if it works.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Silly String is strong and durable, so next time you go mountain climbing just substitute it for rope.

 

[Polranny]

Flushing an already full toilet is always a good idea to see if it works.

If it gets too full, get a pint glass , fill it and put it in the fridge for later

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you're being chased by an animal, just lay on the ground for 6 seconds. The 5 second rule will prevent the animal from eating you.

 

[stickygirl]

Environmentally-conscious people say collecting plastic waste from the beach is rewarding and fun. Be sure to leave them some next time you're at the coast

 

[mnbreastluver]

You know how if you use your mouth to put air pressure into a bottle your drinking from, when you tilt the bottle and release the pressure, the drink will rush into your mouth to equalize the pressure? Stick a pressurized air hose up your ass and get ready.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Build your dog's speed and endurance by constantly throwing his ball into traffic while playing fetch.

 

[KinkyLaughs]

Flushing an already full toilet is always a good idea to see if it works.

...Nooooo!

 

[stickygirl]

On a cloudy, it's often possible to see the sun with binoculars

 

[kurrginatorX]

While performing oral on your SO, just assume you're the best s/he will ever have.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Buy a car but only drive it in the dealers parking lot so it never depreciates.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Need new shoes? Just head to your local Wal-Mart. There's never a shoe clerk around, so just trade your shady, shoddy shoes for spiffy, shiny shoes and wear them out the front door.

 

[Polranny]

Need new tyres? Rent a car from Hertz for a morning and swap yours for theirs