Bad Random Life Tips.

[mnbreastluver]

If you are upset and feel like you need to cry but can't, go to the closest gas station and look at the prices. it will make you cry.

 

[stickygirl]

If you suffer sexual abuse you will find the police are the best people to tell and find support

 

[mnbreastluver]

See a little kid in a karate uniform? Physically attack him/her to test if they can really defend themselves. It's a teaching moment and also their parents will appreciate the outside support.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Need syringes but want to save money? A lot of public restrooms have a designated box you can get them for free.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you see someone choking, make sure to get their consent before you give them the Heimlich.

Then they can't try to sue you for sexual harassment after.

 

[Kat73]

Slap anyone who says something that pisses you off. It's a great way to make friends!

 

[mnbreastluver]

Tell your partner you can only get off by pretending to be asleep and never do any of the work in bed ever again.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you’re worried about having your phone stolen when going out, dress up in Amish garb.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Add "LMAO" to the end of everything you post.

If people get offended you can claim it was a joke and they're too sensitive with no sense of humor.

 

[water_moutina]

Worried about rising gas prices? You can make some of your own at home with $1.99 canned beans from the grocery store*





* Might require membership card

 

[Kat73]

Eat the red peppers in kung pao chicken. They aren't that hot.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Afraid of having impure drugs? Bake a cake with it; the more it rises the less drugs you have.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Save money by not paying your taxes.

 

[Saltfountain]

Rub another man's rhubarb

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you accidentally emergency pocket dial 911, stay on the line. Do not hang up. You might make a new best friend.

 

[Saltfountain]

Only use the loo at work. Not only will you save money on toilet paper, but you'll also be getting paid.

 

[stickygirl]

God is getting old. Don't whisper your prayers by the bed, shout them out of your bedroom window

 

[stickygirl]

Place a circle of stones on your front lawn. Dance round them naked without fear of arrest because you have religious freedoms

 

[stickygirl]

When fitting a femidom, use two fingers to push it in as far as you can and see if your boyfriend can avoid gagging.

 

[stickygirl]

Children can play with fire, they just need time to find the safe methods

 

[stickygirl]

When fucking your girlfriend, go as fast as you can; she'll come sooner and leave you the rest of your evening free

 

[Saltfountain]

In Western culture it is deemed polite if a girl points and laughs when you undress

 

[stickygirl]

Pull your cock out of her vadge and pop it up her back alley, because sharing is caring

 

[Saltfountain]

When fucking your girlfriend, go as fast as you can; she'll come sooner and leave you the rest of your evening free

How fast should one go when fucking someone else's girlfriend?

 

[stickygirl]

Boyfriend's prick smell of fish? A splash of vinegar or ketchup will make it more appetising