Bad from the git-go.

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Ever notice how bad the opening paragraphs of stories are? Just for goofs I sampled a few of the most popular LIT stories, and all of them eat shit from the git-go. That is, Scouries does a good job of opening his tales but the rest fail.

Then I sampled a few of the classics. The immortals all start their stuff with good hooks.

 

[PoppingTom]

Can you give an example of what you think a good beginning hook is?



Maybe it's interesting, or just some pre-founding-father-rokoko stuff.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Can you give an example of what you think a good beginning hook is?



Maybe it's interesting, or just some pre-founding-father-rokoko stuff.

GREAT EXPECTATIONS, Charles Dickens

Here's one of mine:

The interrogation room reeked of stale cigarette smoke, sour garbage, and old coffee boiled-away to syrupy goo. It was meant to be unpleasant.

 

[sr71plt]

Dan Brown (and a few others) changed what the popular opening is for paying readers--whose own tastes got changed by the information revolution. What is "good" in literature isn't a fixed point--it isn't even a single-point definition.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Here's the first line of "Great Expectations"

" My father's family name being Pirrip, and my Christian name Philip, my infant tongue could make of both names nothing longer or more explicit than Pip."

Not so great. It's not the first line alone that makes one want to continue reading.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Here's the first line of "Great Expectations"

" My father's family name being Pirrip, and my Christian name Philip, my infant tongue could make of both names nothing longer or more explicit than Pip."

Not so great. It's not the first line alone that makes one want to continue reading.

Youre a contrary asshole, and only you would have the idgitry to harpoon a solitary sentence from Dickens masterpiece. I dont need to ask if you read more of the opening.

BTW, heads up! I'm gonna shame you posers by posting a story. Sorry, no bra or peepee sizes in it.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Youre a contrary asshole, and only you would have the idgitry to harpoon a solitary sentence from Dickens masterpiece. I dont need to ask if you read more of the opening.

you know quite well that the answer would be yes.

BTW, heads up! I'm gonna shame you posers by posting a story. Sorry, no bra or peepee sizes in it.

but chock full of interrogation rooms and sour garbage, no doubt.

Some people have a fetish for that. You should do well.

A word of advice, though don't let your character call his dick a "peepee." It will blow his Macho cred to kingdom come.

 

[sr71plt]

Youre a contrary asshole, and only you would have the idgitry to harpoon a solitary sentence from Dickens masterpiece.

You only used a single sentence for a Dickens book too. So, does that mean you're a contrary asshole too? No need to answer. We all know the answer to that one.

So, is this great gift of a story you're going to bestow on us going to be your own work, or the usual stolen stuff from someone else?

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

you know quite well that the answer would be yes.but chock full of interrogation rooms and sour garbage, no doubt.

Some people have a fetish for that. You should do well.

A word of advice, though don't let your character call his dick a "peepee." It will blow his Macho cred to kingdom come.

Dear I cant imagine you having any writing pointers that matter. Tell PILOT hes been on IGGY for years.

 

[mikey2much]

it gives us all something to look forward to

Bring it on JBJ.

 

[Stella_Omega]

You know why jimmybits is posting a story, right? It's so that he can start wingnut trolling threads according to Laurel's rules. He wants to turn this forum into the second Garbage board, for our own good.

Them pinko librul hippies have had our own way for too long, according to little jimmy.

 

[trysail]

The shame of it is that JBJ is a better writer than all of the whiners combined. God knows, he's certainly better read and far more interesting.

 

[sr71plt]

Trysail has, of course, only posted at this point, because he too only has one story posted to Literotica (posted in February of 2006), so he's only locked in to do what Stella suggests JBJ wants to do.

And, I'm game, Trysail. What have you read of what JBJ's stories? Lead us to them. They have been quite ellusive for the rest of us. Promised and spoken of, but never produced.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

You know why jimmybits is posting a story, right? It's so that he can start wingnut trolling threads according to Laurel's rules. He wants to turn this forum into the second Garbage board, for our own good.

Them pinko librul hippies have had our own way for too long, according to little jimmy.

Naaah, dear. My New Years Resolution is to wean myself off politics. No more FOX. Cold turkey.

The method to my madness was stimulated by the thread about Multi-Chapter Stories. So I'm writing one, and I wanna see if I can elicit a different outcome from readers. I think if I set it up correctly readers will wanna see what happens in the other chapters. Really serialize it.

 

[sr71plt]

Oh, so yet again this isn't something you've actually written. Just something you're pretending you're writing, which of course can be better than anything anyone else has written precisely because it's all make believe anyway. In other words, same old, same old with dear old James.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Naaah, dear. My New Years Resolution is to wean myself off politics. No more FOX. Cold turkey.

The method to my madness was stimulated by the thread about Multi-Chapter Stories. So I'm writing one, and I wanna see if I can elicit a different outcome from readers. I think if I set it up correctly readers will wanna see what happens in the other chapters. Really serialize it.

An experiment worth embarking on. I'd like to see some others of us try this too.

 

[Mercedesbends]

I think if you base your opinion on a book or story on the opening line, two things are going to happen.

The first is you are going to waste a lot of money on books that ultimately stunk even though the first line may have a had a good hook.

Secondly, you're going to miss out on a lot of good reading just because a book didn't start out with a catchy opening.

I think it would be safe to say if everyone here was shown a list of opening lines from a couple of dozen books there would be varying opinions on what is and is not a good opening.

Like many things in writing it all depends on who's reading.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I think if you base your opinion on a book or story on the opening line, two things are going to happen.

The first is you are going to waste a lot of money on books that ultimately stunk even though the first line may have a had a good hook.

Secondly, you're going to miss out on a lot of good reading just because a book didn't start out with a catchy opening.

I think it would be safe to say if everyone here was shown a list of opening lines from a couple of dozen books there would be varying opinions on what is and is not a good opening.

Like many things in writing it all depends on who's reading.

No it doesnt. Idgits dont get opinions about anything. WAR & PEACE is still the standard NOT Rod McKuen's sissy poems about his cat. Plenty of people bought his crappy poems but he's now history.

 

[Mercedesbends]

No it doesnt. Idgits dont get opinions about anything. WAR & PEACE is still the standard NOT Rod McKuen's sissy poems about his cat. Plenty of people bought his crappy poems but he's now history.

But the "idgits" do get the opinions because they are buying the books. They're the people the author is trying to reach and unless you're altruistic, sales matter.

As people we can debate if a book is good or not, but if one simply looks at sales and dollars that will define a books success.

The hottest book of the year; 50 Shades of Gray, is poorly written , frankly so bad, I am astonished it came from a major publisher

But I wish I had that many idgits buying my work.

 

[JackLuis]

Jimmy, about time you posted something.

Gritty horror no doubt?

I'll bet it's twisted and bleak.

But, Hey some people like twisted bleak stories. Go for it and show the doubters just how good you can write.

 

[Exquisition]

WAR & PEACE is still the standard

Who's standard? For what?

 

[Stella_Omega]

Who's standard? For what?

Tolstoy's standard, for a Tolstoy Novel.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Jimmy, about time you posted something.

Gritty horror no doubt?

I'll bet it's twisted and bleak.

But, Hey some people like twisted bleak stories. Go for it and show the doubters just how good you can write.

Not in the first chapter. Each chapter features a different sexual theme, culminating in psychotic murders in the last chapter. But I dont wanna show my hand just yet. And each chapter ends with a fresh dead cat tossed into the sanctuary, to keep the reader tuned in.

As they said of Napoleon, its the throne or the scaffold for this tale.

 

[scouries]

Scouries does a good job of opening his tales but the rest fail.

Who? Moi? Thank you Jim. It's comments like the above that disproves the oft repeated theory that all North Floridians are idiots...

Like perhaps in my three million copy bestseller:

[size=+3]

“Daddy”, I Whispered

​

http://www.literotica.com/s/daddy-i-whispered

"Daddy," I whispered as I glided across the moonlit room, stopping only when my trembling knees gently brushed against the silk sheets on his king size bed…

For those who’d like to learn more: ScouriesWorld holds erotic writing seminars twice a year and of course I personally lead many of the classes. If interested our next seminar is scheduled for mid February 2013 in Miami Beach. Please contact Jacqui O if you’d like to learn more.
​

[/SIZE]

 

[Stella_Omega]

Not in the first chapter. Each chapter features a different sexual theme, culminating in psychotic murders in the last chapter. But I dont wanna show my hand just yet. And each chapter ends with a fresh dead cat tossed into the sanctuary, to keep the reader tuned in.

As they said of Napoleon, its the throne or the scaffold for this tale.

just try to remember, adults don't talk about peepees. Or weewees, or tee tees or ta tas.

Well, some adults talk about ta tas.