Bad first (and only) experience

[Flyguy74]

I'm the kind of guy who almost always has a girlfriend. I masturbate almost exclusively to heterosexual pornography and fantasies, however, every once in awhile, I would fantasize about being with a man, or I would masturbate to shemale and gay pornography. A few months ago, my girlfriend and I broke up. About a week later I came home from the bar in more than a tipsy state. I went on craigslist and posted a MfM ad, and it turned out one person was in the neighborhood. It was an extremely awkward experience. At first, we just sat and watched a movie and then he asked me what I wanted to do and he started rubbing my crotch through my jeans. I pulled down my pants to give him full-exposure, and he did the same. It got worse from there. Suddenly, I felt like I was in a situation that I desperately wanted to get out of, but I somehow wanted the experience. I never got hard, even through his rubbing and sucking. When I attempted to suck him off, I came very close to vommiting. I had to stop as there was no way I could continue. He could see my discomfort, and he kindly thanked me for allowing him to come over and gave me the "pleased to meet you" shpeel. After he left, I felt sick, and my feeling of discomfort pervaded for weeks. I guess my conclusion is that at one point I might have considered myself bi-curious, but now I consider myself straight. The shemale and gay pornography doesn't do the trick for me anymore either. I don't really understand why, but that's the way it is. I don't regret the experience because really, you don't know until you try. Just to add, although it may not be for me, I have never held any ill-will towards those who do enjoy homosexual relations.

 

[Hitchiker69]

First time discomfort

My first few times with guys were uncomfortable. Sometimes I was so uncomfortable I couldn't get it up. But generally, I would just let the guys suck me, I'd screw them then leave. I always felt uncomfortable about it, and never saw the same guy twice.

Mostly I met these guys through hitchiking, and they persued/seduced me, while I just played along.

But after three or four times, I got more comfortable with it. Then I got curious, and started participating more fully. I learned to enjoy men's bodies and cocks. Now when I'm with a guy it's entirely by choice, and I'm fully into it; anything goes. Some of the best sex of my life has been with guys. No more regrets.

Maybe you'll be more comfortable if you try again.

 

[reg_roch]

I too fantasize about being with men--masturbate to shemale and gay porn sometimes. I have never been with a man--and though--sometimes I feel like I want to try it I know I never would.

The reason is -- I don't find men attractive. I don't look at a man and think to myself that I want to be with him. No matter how good looking he may be, I am just not interested--IMO all men are stinky and ugly.

BUT... when I do fantasize... it's more about the cock. In my fantasies -- the larger the better. I think it's also particular situations that turn me on. That's why some of us find shemales so attractive--some are as beautiful as the most beautiful women--and they have cocks. Truly the best of both worlds.

For me though--I'll stick to women in real life--the cock and the shemales can stay in my fantasies. I don't care what anyone says--I'm ok with that.

Does that make me bi-curious--okay I guess--but labels are idiotic anyway. Life isn't black & white and I bet if the world's minds could be read...neither would be our sexual fantasies.

 

[Flyguy74]

I'm going to have to agree with with reg_Roach. It's the cock that I fantasize about, not the man. I've thought about this one through the years, and I think it stems from a subconscious obsession with my own cock. After all, I've been worshipping it since I was 14. When I'm out in public, I've never noticed another guy and thought to myself, "gee, I really wish I could get his pants off." It just doesn't happen. I've tried to force my mind to that point and I usually get a sense of repulsion. That's probably why when I attempted to be with a man, it was a less than satisfying experience, to say the least.

 

[none2_none2]

I come from the opposite perspective. I was always attracted to certain types of men: Muscular, manily, hairy... I didn't pay much attention to cock as except for shower rooms as t wasn't like I saw them all the time. When I did look it was more of a comparison than wishing to play with a penis.

Unfortunately, most men's sexuality is centered around their penises. So I had a delima. I wanted to be intimate with a man who turned me on, but not have to deal with a penis.

About three years into sex for sex sake, I finally met a guy who let me fuck him. Once I had a man's tight ass, I then knew what m2m sex meant for me. It wasn't a big shock as I had looked at guys asses all my life, but didn't think about what I could do with them because: 1) didn't know a lot about sex; 2) figured you had to be hung like a horse to top.

I like to help get the guy I'm fucking off, but it is to make sure there is mutual enjoyment. (Plus there is nothing like feeling a guy's ass clamp down on you when he gets off while you are inside him.) However, decades later, I would be lying to say I like now penises. They are great to watch shoot, or smell cum, or maybe taste the pre-cum (few men have much of). Otherwise, penises just don't do much for me -- only the man does. I don't desire anybody's penis in me or on me anywhere, and I don't feel the need to touch another guy's cock.

 

[Flyguy74]

This discussion has shown me that sexuality is far from a definable characteristic. Not only is there a vast grey area (it's not just black and white), but that grey area is extremely complicated. I've often wondered about some of my homophobic friends, or those who aren't necessarily homophobic, but are overtly and over-the-top heterosexual. It's almost like they want to prove to the world that they really are heterosexual, but at the same time, they're trying to convince themselves of that fact.

I think Kurt Cobain had it right in his 1993 song 'All Apologies,' when he said "what else can I say? Everyone is gay..." I guess some people have either more or less shades of grey.

 

[none2_none2]

I should have added that though penises don't turn me on, I've seldom felt the urge to vomit. The only near exceptions were:

Someone with really bad breath or body odor -- especially if the guy is uncut and doesn't clean. That can be a really repuslive experience.

That being said you could have had that experience from guilt, having a bit much to drink and maybe experience a bit of dizziness. It could have been from a gag reflex -- especially if he forces you to take him all the way or if he likes banging "head".

I'm not saying you should give it another try, but just realize that you don't have to be str8 to have a bad m2m experience. Just like I'm sure that a straight guy can have a really bad experience with a woman. There are a lot of factors in enjoyable or unenjoyable sex that go way past the sex and the sexual preferences of the participants.

 

[DerelictionOfSanity]

Well, you might just be mostly straight with the occasional gay fantasy. Lots of us have fantasies that we wouldn't actually enjoy in real life. For instance, I know that I've had thoughts about outdoor sex, but if it really happened I would probably freak out and worry that people could see us.

It's also possible that you just happened to try with the wrong guy. Attraction to some men doesn't equal attraction to all men. Also, I think a lot of people get freaked out by anonymous sex (even if they like the idea of it), so that could have had something to do with it too.

My advice to you: Sex should be pleasurable. If you give it a shot, and it feels wrong/unpleasant, don't beat yourself up about it and don't blame yourself for pulling back. If you do try again, let the other guy know that you're a little uncertain and don't push yourself too far. If you start feeling really uncomfortable, stop.

 

[lifensf]

I’ve thought about this for along time and posted an ad on Craig’s list. I started to chat with this one guy and then we meet for coffee which led to some beers on the same day. Days later he invited me over to his place. When I went over to his place we talked had a couple of beers then went into his room and looked at some gay porn mags. That led us to kissing and touching each other although I did not get a hard on from it but, it was very exciting to explore his body. And now I often think about him when I masturbate. Part of me wishes that I would not have chickened out that night and just gone down on him. I have not felt any guilt about that night but if I had I would try and not beet myself up over it. My advice to you would be don’t knock what happened that night and just let it go. If the thoughts come back to you maybe give another try. Perhaps I would feel more the way you have described if I had not been comfortable with the man I explored with?

Lots of good thought on this subject have been posted so to you all thanks.