Bad blurb

[TheEarl]

Inspired by the cover art thread and the thought of how much we are affected by blurbs.

About a year ago, I read my old 2nd-hand copy of Tai-Pan into the ground and decided to buy a new one. The story is a fantastic historical epic about a China trader in the 1800s and hte blurb of the newest print starts off well by talking about "Set in the turbulent days of the founding of Hong Kong ... Tai-Pan is the story of Dirk Struan, the ruler - the Tai Pan - of the most powerful trading company in the Far East."

It then goes on to say "He is also a pirate, an opium smuggler, a master manipulator of men, a ruthless intriguer and a mighty lover."

A mighty lover? Anyone who has read the book can back me up that, although sex is alluded to, it is never directly described and is certainly not a large part of the book. Mr Struan may be a mighty lover for all we know, but James Clavell has decided that he doesn't want to let the world into the Tai-Pan's bedroom. So where does mighty lover come from? It's not in the book, it's horredously cheesy and makes the book sound as though it's 700 pages of Big-Dicked-Dirk Mills and Booning it through the female characters.

I wouldn't have bought the book if I didn't know Clavell's style and hadn't read it before, because that blurb is terrible and in no way represents the book. Anyone who buys the book on the basis of that blurb would be disappointed.

I know, I know, it's three words, but it's completely corrupted the rest. Appalling editorship and I think I can hear Mr Clavell doing 7200 rpm underground.

Any other books given this god-awful treatment?

The Earl

 

[Marsipanne]

Wizard's First Rule by Terry Goodkind:

'One man, Richard Cypher, holds the key to the fate of three nations, of mankind. But until he learns the Wizard's First Rule his chances of succeeding in his task are slim. And his biggest problem is admitting that magic exists at all.'

First sentence is true. Second sentence is not really true. He uses the Wizard's First Rule but it is not part of the quest at all to learn it. And Richard never had trouble admitting that magic existed! He feared it but he had even seen it once, so of course he knows that magic exists. The blurb is silly.

 

[thenry]

"Friends of Freeland" by Brad Leithauser. Plot synopsis can be read here [amazon.com] with my warning that's it's misleading in some places and entirely wrong in others.

It's one of my favorite books by this author as well as one of the last I read because of the idiotic summary.

 

[MlledeLaPlumeBleu]

I hate blurbs in general.

They always seem to be completely unacquainted with the actuality of the story.

Plus, they're so fucking.....*plucky*

Not everyone can write good copy, but I've always wondered why they hire someone else to write a blurb for a book that's entirely written by another person, who is clearly capable of writing, seeing as they penned said book...

mlle

 

[Boota]

It's kind of like renting a porno with Jenna Jameson on the cover and finding out she's not even in the movie.

I've been sold on books before by the back cover blurb and have been disappointed. Especially in cases where the paragraph on the back cover is the best writing in the whole damn book. I read a science fiction cloning story that sounded awesome on the back cover and I had to force myself to finish the book. I kept thinking, "This will get better. It has to get better. Almost there. It's going to get better. Last page? What the fuck? Where was that cool sounding?"

Being essentially self-published, I wrote my own About the Book blurb on the back. I'm happy with what I have. I think it's accurate in representing the story, it tells enough to pique interest, and it promises a good read. What I never realized was how hard it is to write a good back cover blurb. You only have so many words to grab a potential reader and it is very tough sometimes. I'd hate to have to let anyone else write those parts, though. The few things that have been written for me by other people have been wrong, or I just didn't think the person writing it actually got it.