Average in Bed- a research question

[sophia jane]

The difference between "average sex" and "good sex" is spontenaity and/or emotional involvement. A partner who wants to be having sex and more importantly wants to be having sex with YOU as much as you want to have sex with her multiplies every sensation a hundred fold.

Oh! This is good. Thanks!

My story basically involves a man discovering that the really hot women sucks in bed and the more plain woman (who also happens to be secretly very erotic) is fantastic in bed, and more than that, a much more interesting person.
(and yes, the plain female character is almost completely autobiographical)

 

[sophia jane]

Lack of enthusiam...absolutel total number one answer. Everything else is secondary. If I have to ask in my own head why you are here....

Oooh! I did something right in my scene cuz I already had him asking himself that. I guess I knew more than I thought I did about men.

 

[Guest]

Oh! This is good. Thanks!

My story basically involves a man discovering that the really hot women sucks in bed and the more plain woman (who also happens to be secretly very erotic) is fantastic in bed, and more than that, a much more interesting person.
(and yes, the plain female character is almost completely autobiographical)

Having never slept with a supermodel, I have comforted myself with the idea they would be awful in bed, believing that the presentation they offered meant they didn't have to try very hard. My first ever erotic story, when I was like 14 was on this topic.

One support I have for that theory. In high school, I had a lover who also had slept with another friend of ours, an extremely well endowed guy (she claimed 12 inches). She reported to me, and this was after she & I were lovers and were just talking about sex, not my performance) that the guy was quite lazy in bed, and not very nice out of bed, or into foreplay, or cuddling after. He felt his "gift" was sufficient and should be worshipped.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

A "Dead Fuck" tends to be a turn-off for most men; if a woman acts like the man doesn't exist during sex, fucking becomes more work than masturbation for about the same amount of satisfaction.

If a woman is "scornfull and asks things like "is it in yet," most men would find sex with her less than completely satisfying.

However, those are examples of "bad sex" and not "average sex."



Average sex is predictible sex -- following the porn story cliches of "she blows him, he eats her, then they fuck" or "feel her tits, suck her tits, lick down her body, lick her pussy a few times, and stick it in her" or any cliche that involves the words "it's your turn" is almost guaranteed to result in "average sex."

The difference between "average sex" and "good sex" is spontenaity and/or emotional involvement. A partner who wants to be having sex and more importantly wants to be having sex with YOU as much as you want to have sex with her multiplies every sensation a hundred fold.

An interesting take on the issue. Emotional involvement can be a good thing. However, that is only going to be present with one girl in ten. There has to be something ELSE for when you are NOT emotionally involved. (Of course, having that SOMETHING ELSE and the emotional involvement is the Mount Everest of sex, but that is not as common as people would like.) Still, it DOES happen....Also, there can be emotional involvement and it STILL be mediocre, as in a long-term relationship gone stale (as many of them do). Which is why the other stuff comes to mind.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Having never slept with a supermodel, I have comforted myself with the idea they would be awful in bed, believing that the presentation they offered meant they didn't have to try very hard. My first ever erotic story, when I was like 14 was on this topic.

One support I have for that theory. In high school, I had a lover who also had slept with another friend of ours, an extremely well endowed guy (she claimed 12 inches). She reported to me, and this was after she & I were lovers and were just talking about sex, not my performance) that the guy was quite lazy in bed, and not very nice out of bed, or into foreplay, or cuddling after. He felt his "gift" was sufficient and should be worshipped.

That kind of hubris is all too common in both sexes, though hardly universal.

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

(and yes, the plain female character is almost completely autobiographical)

Is not!

I have proof too!

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

I don't share Lucifer Carroll's harsh view of my sex, but that is to be expected. The fact is that BOTH sexes can be rather selfish in bed, and that can lead to less than ideal experiences with sex. However, the saying is true that "the great is the enemy of the good". Sometimes, inferior sex is better than no sex at all. Just depends on HOW inferior, I suppose.

 

[sophia jane]

Is not!

I have proof too!

Uh-uh.

 

[cloudy]

Wow!

I must be better than I thought.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Wow!

I must be better than I thought.

I'm sure that you are. A lot of the girls on this site are. You gals don't give yourselves enough credit. Call it a gut feeling.

 

[Guest]

Wow!

I must be better than I thought.

I have no doubt you are spectacular!

You and SJ together would kill me.

Raising hand...willing to die.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

I have no doubt you are spectacular!

You and SJ together would kill me.

Raising hand...willing to die.

To quote the song by Ray Kennedy, "Women goin' to be the death of me, but what a way to go!"

 

[Lucifer_Carroll]

I don't share Lucifer Carroll's harsh view of my sex, but that is to be expected. The fact is that BOTH sexes can be rather selfish in bed, and that can lead to less than ideal experiences with sex. However, the saying is true that "the great is the enemy of the good". Sometimes, inferior sex is better than no sex at all. Just depends on HOW inferior, I suppose.

While I will not deny that I'm a Grade A man-hater, I focus on male expectation, because in general today there is already enough pressure on women to be a perfect lover first go that many men seem to believe they are somehow "off the hook" as far as participating in a mutually satisfying encounter. I figure women didn't need an extra kick on how to satisfy a man, when generally they will be satisfying if the other rules are followed. A lot of it comes down to trust and knowledge of the other's anatomy, boundaries, and turn-ons.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

You must know nicer women and meaner men than I do, because I have seen more of a balance. Either that, or it is just the prejudice on your part that you have admitted.

 

[BlackSnake]

Wow! The cool thing about getting old is that you get the benefit of experience.

Fuck me back as hard as I am fucking you. Nothing has ever beat that for me. If its not fun, then its not good. Emotional or otherwise.

 

[Aurora Black]

Average sex is predictible sex -- following the porn story cliches of "she blows him, he eats her, then they fuck" or "feel her tits, suck her tits, lick down her body, lick her pussy a few times, and stick it in her" or any cliche that involves the words "it's your turn" is almost guaranteed to result in "average sex."

*doesn't know how to reply to this, having written 2 contest-placing stories that featured the words "It's your turn."*

 

[Aurora Black]

Oh! This is good. Thanks!

My story basically involves a man discovering that the really hot women sucks in bed and the more plain woman (who also happens to be secretly very erotic) is fantastic in bed, and more than that, a much more interesting person.
(and yes, the plain female character is almost completely autobiographical)

Whoo-hoo!

 

[Belegon]

Oh! This is good. Thanks!

My story basically involves a man discovering that the really hot women sucks in bed and the more plain woman (who also happens to be secretly very erotic) is fantastic in bed, and more than that, a much more interesting person.
(and yes, the plain female character is almost completely autobiographical)

the "almost" saves you from the not-fun kind of spanking young lady...

 

[Aurora Black]

Having read the responses in this thread, I don't know what I am. I've been both the active/enthusiastic initiator in lovemaking as well as the "dead fuck." It depends on my mood and my emotions towards my partner, I guess. *shrug*

 

[sophia jane]

the "almost" saves you from the not-fun kind of spanking young lady...

*snicker*
Guess I won't clarify on why I said almost then.

 

[Belegon]

*snicker*
Guess I won't clarify on why I said almost then.

probably best you don't....

 

[OhMissScarlett]

I would think toothy head would be a deal-breaker.

 

[Guest]

I've been both the active/enthusiastic initiator in lovemaking as well as the "dead fuck." It depends on my mood and my emotions towards my partner, I guess. *shrug*

I'm sure that's true of us all. The women I was remembering when I wrote my post were probably more into it with someone else. And the women who rocked my world, are probably mentioned on some else's "bad" list.

I of course, am only on "good" lists!

 

[Guest]

I would think toothy head would be a deal-breaker.

Goes without saying!

And the girl who kissed like a hoover vaccuum modied by Tim "The Toolman" Taylor didn't make it into bed.

 

[Belegon]

I think we've gone way past average into bad....my bit about enthusiam was distinctly aimed at average, although it certainly applies to bad as well...

the general point being that you can be skilled and practised at something and still be only average if you do it without passion...