Authorial Queries (half-arsed silly thread)

[Guest]

I wrote this for the thread called, How long does it take for you to write a page, but then had the minimal presence of mind not to add insult to the myriad rhetorical injuries of the past week. Anyone do what they will here.

Just being a slightly less cordial, Perdita.
- - - - - - - - - -

I'm sorry but this is the most boring thread I've read-in-15-seconds since I came to Lit.

I would rather read about what makes a person think they're a really truly virtually authentic unarguably certified "writer";

or which thesaurus they recommend, depending on whether they're American or English or whether they're half Finnish/half Sicilian and were schooled in Sweden;

or whether authors absolutely, irrevocably and/or nonchalantly are their character(s), and just how real, or old, or real old, is their AV photo;

or whether pre-Vatican II Catholics write better smut because they were taught from infancy that sex was evil;

or whether 'automatic' writing is the preferred technique for those who need to jerk off while writing smut.

Oh, and I really really want to know how long it takes others to think up an adverbial clause, then attach it to a complex and interrogative sentence. I generally take the morning for the clause, have a light lunch, then bugger a sentence or two til one fits. Generally I'm satisfied by mid-afternoon.

 

[pop_54]

I wrote this for the thread called, How long does it take for you to write a page, but then had the minimal presence of mind not to add insult to the myriad rhetorical injuries of the past week. Anyone do what they will here.

Just being a slightly less cordial, Perdita.
- - - - - - - - - -

I'm sorry but this is the most boring thread I've read-in-15-seconds since I came to Lit.

1) I would rather read about what makes a person think they're a really truly virtually authentic unarguably certified "writer";

2) or which thesaurus they recommend, depending on whether they're American or English or whether they're half Finnish/half Sicilian and were schooled in Sweden;

3) or whether authors absolutely, irrevocably and/or nonchalantly are their character(s), and just how real, or old, or real old, is their AV photo;

4) or whether pre-Vatican II Catholics write better smut because they were taught from infancy that sex was evil;

5) or whether 'automatic' writing is the preferred technique for those who need to jerk off while writing smut.

Oh, and I really really want to know how long it takes others to think up an adverbial clause, then attach it to a complex and interrogative sentence. I generally take the morning for the clause, have a light lunch, then bugger a sentence or two til one fits. Generally I'm satisfied by mid-afternoon.

Hello lover, having a nice day?

Hmm better number them then:

1) Don't know, never been a proper writer.

2) What's a thesaurus do? Is it of the sheep family?

3) I am my character in my stories if course, and it's not very old about 8 months.

4) Probably, but best known for the phrase, "pass me another choir boy this one's split"

5) I'd say more mechanical in rhythmic action.

Don't know about the last bit, too many big words

Love and hugs pops.............

 

[Guest]

Pops:

Mi esposo muy dulce,
Yo te amo mucho; muchissimas bessitos kiss de
Perdita y Perdita

(No need for Tr., love; just use that "photographic" memory of yours.)

 

[MlledeLaPlumeBleu]

When I stop my trou-dampening laughing fit, I will doubtless manifest an appropriately offensive opinion and incite a riot....*laugh*

 

[MathGirl]

Re: Re: Authorial Queries (half-arsed silly thread)

best known for the phrase, "pass me another choir boy this one's split"

Dear Pop,
Ohhhh, you're so masterful.
MG

 

[SexySoBeChick]

Re: Re: Authorial Queries (half-arsed silly thread)

2) What's a thesaurus do? Is it of the sheep family?

Actually, it was a dinosaur closely related to the Tyrannosaurus Rex. But unlike the T-Rex, who had a tendency towards tedium, killing its prey in the same manner over and over again, the Thesaurus continually found new, highly creative ways to dispatch its enemies. Paleontologists have recently discovered scientific evidence of a Thesaurus electrocuting a Pterodactyl by tying a piece of metal to its leg and scaring it into flight during an electrical storm.

 

[pop_54]

Re: Re: Re: Authorial Queries (half-arsed silly thread)

Actually, it was a dinosaur closely related to the Tyrannosaurus Rex. But unlike the T-Rex, who had a tendency towards tedium, killing its prey in the same manner over and over again, the Thesaurus continually found new, highly creative ways to dispatch its enemies. Paleontologists have recently discovered scientific evidence of a Thesaurus electrocuting a Pterodactyl by tying a piece of metal to its leg and scaring it into flight during an electrical storm.

Wow thanks SSBC, you're so damn clever, now I can impress the kids when they ask about thesaurus's and other old stuff like that.

PS: Where the freek did they get the metal?? Damn clever

 

[MathGirl]

Re: Re: Re: Authorial Queries (half-arsed silly thread)

closely related to the Tyrannosaurus Rex.

Yep. I KNEW it was some kind of sheep.
MG

 

[SexySoBeChick]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Authorial Queries (half-arsed silly thread)

PS: Where the freek did they get the metal?? Damn clever

From the excrement of the Ferrousaurus, which is mainly iron.

 

[Never]

Perdita:
"I'm sorry but this is the most boring thread I've read-in-15-seconds since I came to Lit."

Ah, you don't sound sorry, but if that is the most boring thread you've ever read then you're obviously not familiar with my large body of threads. Luckily, I plan on spending more time on this forum so you too can enjoy the heartbeat-a-minute, lithium-induced, slightly-less-fascinating-than-blinking-your-eye pleasure of reading my verbiage.

Now, lets kick it up a notch with your topics:

1: I would rather read about what makes a person think they're a really truly virtually authentic unarguably certified "writer";

I'm no writer.

" or which thesaurus they recommend, depending on whether they're American or English or whether they're half Finnish/half Sicilian and were schooled in Sweden;"

I'm American. I use the one they have in Word.

" or whether authors absolutely, irrevocably and/or nonchalantly are their character(s), and just how real, or old, or real old, is their AV photo;"

No, I don't believe authors are their characters. Once you start writing its all fiction. Then again, I'm not an author and I don't have an AV photo.

" or whether pre-Vatican II Catholics write better smut because they were taught from infancy that sex was evil;"

Nope.

" or whether 'automatic' writing is the preferred technique for those who need to jerk off while writing smut."

Not having the equipment for a proper jack-off, I have no idea. It doesn't matter anyway as I have no idea what 'automatic' writing is.

" I really really want to know how long it takes others to think up an adverbial clause, then attach it to a complex and interrogative sentence."

If only I weren’t a product of the American public schools I might be able to tell what you were talking about.

Well, my pause is certainly racing. I think I'll drink vodka and think of something even more boring to delight people with.

 

[MlledeLaPlumeBleu]

Hey Trova-


As your caddy, I would have to advise you to use a nine-iron on this lie.

The windspeed is pretty constant, but the ground is uneven, and you don't want to overshoot the green.


Miss Aquamarine Rollerball

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

I'm sorry but this is the most boring thread I've read-in-15-seconds since I came to Lit.

Oh, the ennui of thee.

RF

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: Re: Authorial Queries (half-arsed silly thread)

Actually, it was a dinosaur closely related to the Tyrannosaurus Rex. But unlike the T-Rex, who had a tendency towards tedium, killing its prey in the same manner over and over again, the Thesaurus continually found new, highly creative ways to dispatch its enemies. Paleontologists have recently discovered scientific evidence of a Thesaurus electrocuting a Pterodactyl by tying a piece of metal to its leg and scaring it into flight during an electrical storm.

ROFLMAO

SSBC-

Other than being a bit tipsy on Amaretto and unable to remember the acronym for your name,

That is the BEST post I have read in a long time.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

b

 

[Guest]

or whether authors absolutely, irrevocably and/or nonchalantly are their character(s), and just how real, or old, or real old, is their AV photo;

Per-

I love your thread.

That is me. As of two days ago. I am dressed up for the T3 party I am attending.

b

 

[Guest]

Oh, the ennui of thee.

Ennui and enervation, Rump. Remember, I'm older than you so I take your old fart comments to heart (ouch).

Perdita in a senior moment


Bridget, love my thread, love me. What is T3?

 

[Guest]

Ennui and enervation, Rump. Remember, I'm older than you so I take your old fart comments to heart (ouch).

Perdita in a senior moment


Bridget, love my thread, love me. What is T3?

Oh, I do love you Perdita. I keep wanting to call you Querita
(sp?). It is what I call a dear friend of mine.

T3- Terminator 3 the latest Arnold Schwarzenegger movie. It has liquid metal robot thingies that come back from the future.

b

 

[Guest]

Oh, I do love you Perdita. I keep wanting to call you Querita (sp?).

Querida, Bridget:

Thanks, I get it finally. I've begun looking forward to your enigmatic AVs.

Perdita

 

[Dirt Man]

Ouch!

 

[Dirty Slut]

[QUOTE]Anyone do what they will here. [/QUOTE]

Here I am sitting on this queen sized mattress like pad, and I can only conclude that this must be the thread for me.

And I wonder if my lover is ready for a rare midnight snack.

DS

PS: Forgive the bloody pun.

 

[destinie21]

I have some quetions

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?


Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?


If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

Is there an imaginary cure for hypochondria?


What's another word for Thesaurus?

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?


Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?

How come we choose from just two people to run for
president and 50 for Miss America?

Is it bad luck to be superstitious?

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?

Probably the same dufus who put a "H" in Ghent.
RF

 

[cahab]

1) I would rather read about what makes a person think they're a really truly virtually authentic unarguably certified "writer";

Nothing, nothing at all.

2) or which thesaurus they recommend, depending on whether they're American or English or whether they're half Finnish/half Sicilian and were schooled in Sweden;

I don't like thesauruses (thesauri?). I prefer the Ernest hemingway approach. If i can't think of the right word, I just write it another way.

3) or whether authors absolutely, irrevocably and/or nonchalantly are their character(s), and just how real, or old, or real old, is their AV photo;

My characters are all me, but i'm not just my characters. And I don't have a digital camera, so I find pictures that bear a passing resemblance.

4) or whether pre-Vatican II Catholics write better smut because they were taught from infancy that sex was evil;

Maybe, but they couldn't write naturally back then. Prettier smut, maaybe.

5) or whether 'automatic' writing is the preferred technique for those who need to jerk off while writing smut.

I always feel there aren't enough phrases for female mastubation. I never 'Jerk'. Nominations for new descriptions, please, by the left, thank you.

 

[SexySoBeChick]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Authorial Queries (half-arsed silly thread)

ROFLMAO

SSBC-

Other than being a bit tipsy on Amaretto and unable to remember the acronym for your name,

That is the BEST post I have read in a long time.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

b

You're very welcome (x3). I'm always glad to be of service. Although, I'm sure it wouldn't have been nearly as funny without the Amaretto.

--SSBC

 

[Guest]

I always feel there aren't enough phrases for female mastubation. I never 'Jerk'. Nominations for new descriptions, please, by the left, thank you.

Personally, I frig myself. ***hmmm... I don't know how I could impersonally frig myself***

Querida Perdita,

I thought the d was correct. Alas, Spanish isn't one of my languages, wo de peng yo.


Just for you:

wise literate friend
our querida perdita
insightful smile

b

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Authorial Queries (half-arsed silly thread)

You're very welcome (x3). I'm always glad to be of service. Although, I'm sure it wouldn't have been nearly as funny without the Amaretto.

--SSBC

Nope, nuh uh, negative.

Just re-read it and laughed aloud in a totally sober state. In fact, I probably enjoy the nuances more now. People really aren't very interesting when they've been imbibing.

b