australian bdsm? where?

[shelleb4]

does anyone know how i go about finding where the bdsm scene is in Australia/melbourne, or havent they imported it here yet?

Im female so men only is no good.

 

[Etoile]

They don't call me the Google Goddess for nothin'!

http://www.master.webcentral.com.au/abis/bdsmoz.html
http://dmoz.org/Adult/Regional/Oceania/Australia/Society/BDSM/

That should start you off! I bet Catalina will have some input, too.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Sure`can...will send you the address for an Oz list which covers all states and has links to events and groups etc., for each capital city. Will PM you as soon as my email allows me to access the account.

Catalina

 

[FungiUg]

There also used to be quite a good Australasian group or two on MSN chat for BDSM... but MSN closed down all Australasian access to chat. Now you have to pretend to be from the US to get into the MSN chat rooms from here. No idea why.

There are some Yahoo groups, several IRC groups, plus some very healthy scenes around Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne (that I know of, and I'm from NZ!)

 

[catalina_francisco]

There also used to be quite a good Australasian group or two on MSN chat for BDSM... but MSN closed down all Australasian access to chat. Now you have to pretend to be from the US to get into the MSN chat rooms from here. No idea why.

There are some Yahoo groups, several IRC groups, plus some very healthy scenes around Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne (that I know of, and I'm from NZ!)

Out of curiousity for myself and others who may be wanting to know FungiUg, what is the scene like in NZ? Is it an equal mix of public and private events etc.? Have been checking out what is happening in Oz over the past few months incase we decide to make the big haul back there, but don't hear anything about NZ.

Catalina

 

[FungiUg]

Um... the "scene" in NZ is largely a bunch of isolated people who do their best to get together when they can.

I'm probably the worst person to ask, because I get claustrophobia in crowded spaces, so I avoid the play parties. But... they're a friendly crowd, a bit bitchy/inbred at times, and have NO idea to deal with abusers (which is sad -- a friend of mine got abused by someone who was involved with the Auckland BDSM group, and she ended up copping a lot of flak from some members for putting her hand up and saying "watch out for this guy, he's abusive.")

The Auckland BDSM group have also just closed down the premises they had for their play parties... kinda sad. Largely because of money and time issues, I think. The usual four or five people were putting in all the effort to make things happen, and got tired of it all.

I have been along to a few of the munches, and they happen regularly. There's a couple of associated groups (again, a bit of rivalry/in-fighting, but nothing to serious) that I have run across or know about, as well as a couple of mailing lists for NZ as a whole that are quite good. There's also an Auckland BDSM IRC chat room which I haven't been into in yonks. And there are some good NZ web site/resource centres, and places that make kink gear to order and so on.

One thing they do really well is run "how to" sessions. Sadly, I couldn't make it to the rope tying session (I couldn't tie a knot to save myself!)

So like most groups, you get out what you put in. Since I am only loosely affiliated, I tend to get not much out of the 'scene'. And for me, the best place to meet people has been on a "vanilla" site called NZ Dating. Go figure!

 

[shelleb4]

thankyou peeps

that should be enough to search for. So far ive only heard of private parties, and one or two of the characters involved seem to of set themselves up as gods. Which of course they may well be, i shall reserve judgement until 20 seconds after i meet them lol.

 

[catalina_francisco]

thankyou peeps

that should be enough to search for. So far ive only heard of private parties, and one or two of the characters involved seem to of set themselves up as gods. Which of course they may well be, i shall reserve judgement until 20 seconds after i meet them lol.

LOL, yes I got the same impression about the God complex. I don't particularly like that even if someone is good at what they do...sort of says 'closed mind' to me because if you are so busy preening your own feathers you rarely get time to admire or notice another's. I think there are some good clubs in Melbourne though, and seems a few good people, especially a few new ones coming to the scene. Hope you have fun.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

Um... the "scene" in NZ is largely a bunch of isolated people who do their best to get together when they can.

I'm probably the worst person to ask, because I get claustrophobia in crowded spaces, so I avoid the play parties. But... they're a friendly crowd, a bit bitchy/inbred at times, and have NO idea to deal with abusers (which is sad -- a friend of mine got abused by someone who was involved with the Auckland BDSM group, and she ended up copping a lot of flak from some members for putting her hand up and saying "watch out for this guy, he's abusive.")

The Auckland BDSM group have also just closed down the premises they had for their play parties... kinda sad. Largely because of money and time issues, I think. The usual four or five people were putting in all the effort to make things happen, and got tired of it all.

I have been along to a few of the munches, and they happen regularly. There's a couple of associated groups (again, a bit of rivalry/in-fighting, but nothing to serious) that I have run across or know about, as well as a couple of mailing lists for NZ as a whole that are quite good. There's also an Auckland BDSM IRC chat room which I haven't been into in yonks. And there are some good NZ web site/resource centres, and places that make kink gear to order and so on.

One thing they do really well is run "how to" sessions. Sadly, I couldn't make it to the rope tying session (I couldn't tie a knot to save myself!)

So like most groups, you get out what you put in. Since I am only loosely affiliated, I tend to get not much out of the 'scene'. And for me, the best place to meet people has been on a "vanilla" site called NZ Dating. Go figure!

Thanks Fungi. Sounds well organised for all the geographical separations. I think the bitchy in fighting seems to go with anywhere unfortunately...egos on the loose. As you say, there are usualy a small core who do the work and a lorger group who are happy to sit back and enjoy whatever is arranged...is diffficult to get past so things work more effectively and fairly.

We are also not much into the scene as such, keeping more to ourselves and the few people we click with here and there. Went to a club a couple of weeks back for the first time in over a year and F found he had a huge allergic reaction to the smoke or something so had to leave after awhile...happened last time we were there to. Generally not into crowds....lol, bit hard to avoid here though.

Catalina

 

[AvaAdore]

i dont know about melbourne, but when i was in sydney in november, near our hotel, there were 3 fetish shops within 100 meters of one another...would it be too presumptuous to say there must be a large BDSM community?

 

[shelleb4]

Managed to get myself onto the mailing list of ausdbsm. Well!
So far, a party invite put up generally? Is this normal?
And then a diatribe by somebody, clearly not enamoured of what ausbdsm has to offer. Its done in a rap style lyric and tears into the sceners systematically one by one. Ive not met these people but am aware of too much, certainly enough to be able to recognise a few characters. They unfortunately have not ignored the post, rather they have added fuel to fire and answered back.

And perhaps most telling so far, it all sounds rather school playground and neither do the posters have literary flare, well except the chap who'd originally sent in the defamation of characters Eminem stylie in.

So if anyone is out there reading this in Melbourne, drop me a pm please of how i can find out about whats on? Perhaps The Cornel himself might like to respond? umm?

 

[catalina_francisco]

Managed to get myself onto the mailing list of ausdbsm. Well!
So far, a party invite put up generally? Is this normal?
And then a diatribe by somebody, clearly not enamoured of what ausbdsm has to offer. Its done in a rap style lyric and tears into the sceners systematically one by one. Ive not met these people but am aware of too much, certainly enough to be able to recognise a few characters. They unfortunately have not ignored the post, rather they have added fuel to fire and answered back.

And perhaps most telling so far, it all sounds rather school playground and neither do the posters have literary flare, well except the chap who'd originally sent in the defamation of characters Eminem stylie in.

So if anyone is out there reading this in Melbourne, drop me a pm please of how i can find out about whats on? Perhaps The Cornel himself might like to respond? umm?

From what I have seen on the list, many parties are publicly announced and open to your applying to go, but from there you will be checked out to make sure you are not someone just wanting to come perve, or will be blacklisted if you do get in and create trouble. As to flaming, well that happens everywhere, and from what I have seen there has been less on the list than on Lit, and is usually very short lived. As it was noted with this latest flaming, the person who was doing the flaming and accusations against the list did so from behind a false name...always a good indicator of whether it is valid IMO. Not only that, but the eminem type impersonator was actually putting down people in the BDSM scene when they say 'they are fucked in the head', and seems to me throughout to be more the words of jealousy and envy, then reality, or perhaps revenge for not being accepted for their own behaviour.

It is a valueable resource list, and like most places on the net, takes time and posting for people to get to know you and realise you are not just dropping in for 5 minutes. The more involved you become, the more offers of friendship, guidance, and information you will receive, much like most BDSM oriented boards. There are some highly respected and intelligent people on it who have been in the lifestyle 24/7 and otherwise for many years, some 10 - 20 years, a few even longer. I actually have seen a few times when topics come up for discussion that some answers offered go deeper than anywhere else I have read, have surprisingly fresh angles, and overall will call a grandstanding faker on their words in an effort to keep to facts and not fantasy.

Some of the more prominent figures are also people who have worked hard toward BDSM being accepted as a choice and continually fight legislation aimed at closing the community and practices down permanently, as well as invest their money in establishing safe spaces for people to meet and play. Whether you get invites through this list or otherwise, if you participate in public life, these are the people that are going to be making a lot of it possible both directly and indirectly, and who you will likely meet at one event or another. It is a good source of information if you hang in there.

Catalina

 

[shelleb4]

I will hang in there. This is verbal assault on members has got to be over soon one would hope.

I did post to introduce myself, but was told that a moderator would be screening my posts and i would be told if it had got through. That was a week ago now.

 

[shelleb4]

www.whiplash.com
www.purgatory.com
both of the above addresses supplied curtesy of mistresslaura, many thanks.
With a brunch on the 28th, i think that will do nicely.
The ausbdsm site is now back to normal services, with hardly a mention of its recent hassles.

 

[catalina_francisco]

www.whiplash.com
www.purgatory.com
both of the above addresses supplied curtesy of mistresslaura, many thanks.
With a brunch on the 28th, i think that will do nicely.
The ausbdsm site is now back to normal services, with hardly a mention of its recent hassles.

They are good references from what I have seen discussed. I have found all things are over with quick, discussions and such...part of the set up I think where unlike Lit, it remains highly visible for days/weeks, the process for the list is much more as it comes each day. I would check on the intro with them as if I'm not mistaken, they have had some changes in people lately so may be part of the settling in process.

Catalina