australwind
lightness of being
- Joined
- Jan 19, 2005
- Posts
- 10,859
Orlanth said:
Where is the man with the mini when you need him? If I can't get groped by a professional, I might as well get to play with a sexy little red car!
aussies
- Thread starter cheeky greg
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Where is the man with the mini when you need him? If I can't get groped by a professional, I might as well get to play with a sexy little red car!
australwind
lightness of being
- Joined
- Jan 19, 2005
- Posts
- 10,859
bertrande said:Austral - let me put your mind at rest here.......he seems like a gentleman.....
......in public
You suggesting that I should take him somewhere private and find out what he's like behind the facade?
australwind
lightness of being
- Joined
- Jan 19, 2005
- Posts
- 10,859
Orlanth said:
Who says???
australwind
lightness of being
- Joined
- Jan 19, 2005
- Posts
- 10,859
bertrande said:Hey it worked for me
HHhhhhhmmmmmmmm, well it might be worth a try I guess, but Orlanth is quite adamant he's no longer up to the task. Do you thing he knows someething we don't?
davoo
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Nov 17, 2005
- Posts
- 384
1. Women, learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
2. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not considered by us to be opportunities to see if we can find the perfect present . . . . again!
3. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
4. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
5. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
6. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
7. We don't remember dates. . . .Period!!
8. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
9. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
10. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
11. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
12. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
13. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
14. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We've been tricked before!!
15. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
16. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
17. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
18. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
19. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
20. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
21. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
22. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
23. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
24. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
25. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
26. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
27. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway.)
28. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you."]
2. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not considered by us to be opportunities to see if we can find the perfect present . . . . again!
3. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
4. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
5. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
6. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
7. We don't remember dates. . . .Period!!
8. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
9. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
10. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
11. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
12. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
13. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
14. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We've been tricked before!!
15. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
16. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
17. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
18. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
19. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
20. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
21. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
22. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
23. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
24. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
25. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
26. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
27. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway.)
28. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you."]
SecretScribe
The TC Bartender
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2002
- Posts
- 12,758
Aussies has got to be the nicest thread to visit ... I stop in and the last two posts are by Valia and Bertrande ... and truthfully I can't tell you what either post was about but between the two AV's ... I do believe I received my christmas presents early ...
now if only I could remember why I stopped by here in the first place ...
now if only I could remember why I stopped by here in the first place ...
australwind
lightness of being
- Joined
- Jan 19, 2005
- Posts
- 10,859
Gonna call it a night, my friends........... 
Kisses and hugs to you all.....'specially you, Orlanth.....don't stay away so long!
Play nice now.......
Kisses and hugs to you all.....'specially you, Orlanth.....don't stay away so long!
Play nice now.......
nostress
dream ride
- Joined
- Nov 30, 2002
- Posts
- 11,958
australwind said:Gonna call it a night, my friends...........
Kisses and hugs to you all.....'specially you, Orlanth.....don't stay away so long!
Play nice now.......
sleep well......and dont believe Orlanth I can still be wickered when I am given the chance
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