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ok-i know i am away from lit for personal reasons and will remain so but i couldn't let this go without comment
australwind said:
Good Morning, Fellow Aussies......for those of you who expressed concern at the whereabouts of the wombat, his secret has been revealed by the local papparrazzi who have been dogging his heels for months.

The Bat has been involved in a top secret research project
(without actually being aware of it)and now the news has been broken by the daily newsheet "The Age", I guess I can reveal all to you.


Wombats enjoy the thrill of the chase
By Heather Gallagher
December 13, 2005

A COMPLICATED dance(normally known as "begging"), a bite on the rump (was meant to be a kiss on the cheek but i tripped on my foot and fell)and ferocious backward kicks (also caused by the falling) are all part of the wombat's lovemaking repertoire, a new study has revealed.

Until recently, there were no recorded observations of mating between wombats.(i'm very shy and have learnt to close the curtains-besides it all over in 20 seconds and photographers really have to be on the ball to catch that!)

But the director of Nocturnal Wildlife Research Ltd, biologist Clive Marks, found that wombats were more likely than the average Australian male to emulate moves from the Kama Sutra.(the kama what now?)

Mr Marks, whose findings are to be published this week, says the first successful captive breeding of wombats (was tied up and didn't know about the hidden camera in the light socket-these germans are cunning)was recorded in Hanover, Germany, in 1982.

"With absolute precision, details of the wombat's sex life were recorded (using a stopwatch and slow motion video work) and, surprisingly(especially to me), it seemed anything but modest," he says.

"It appeared to be a physically demanding process, complete with chasing, biting, grunting and loads of heavy breathing."(this is actually due to me being lazy and well out of condition-i do all this except the biting just walking out to the letterbox as well)

Then in 1990, Mr Marks filmed the first common wombat courtship and mating in captivity in Australia, at Tonimbuk Farm in Gippsland.(farm? I was told this was a health resort. once again was tied up. article fails to mention the lack of an interested female-i had to wriggle loose and do it all myself)

"The female, after a prolonged period of copulation in the same position, broke away and began to trot in a pattern of circles and figures of eight," he says. "The male chased her, following closely behind, and then bit her on the rump."(allready explained)

Space seems to be the key. Mr Marks says without the "hard to get" figure-of-eight dance, the female will not allow the male to mount.(so THATS what i'm doing wrong!!!! *practices dancing a figure 8*)

Zookeepers appear to be catching on. Mr Marks says biologists at the Western Plains Zoo in Dubbo have had spectacular wombat breeding success by modifying pen systems to permit a chase.(also a king sized bed, huge theatre system with access to all the porn channels, an extensive dvd collection, a spa, mirrors on the ceiling and copius amounts of viagra) The zoo also achieved the first recorded case of wombat twins.(this was actually me-i was born bum first and the doctor mistakingly thought there were 2 babies)

AAP
Click to expand...

hopefully this has cleared up a clearly misguided report. I am now going back into seclusion-merry christmas everyone and i hope you all have great new years
 
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Cadoras said:
I'm not entirely sure..... I can't find them....
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*shakes head in wonderment*

Cad, have you been wandering about the place discarding your clothing as you go?

Will we find your socks in the Am Pics Thread?
 
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australwind said:
*shakes head in wonderment*

Cad, have you been wandering about the place discarding your clothing as you go?

Will we find your socks in the Am Pics Thread?
Click to expand...

Um, I think I left them in the BDSM Personals...... I could be mistaken though.....
 
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Cadoras said:
Oh good, what did you do with them? :rolleyes:
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Stuffed them in with the rest of the dirty laundry, I think!


That place is just a mess........ knickers and jocks, socks.....bras...flung about all over the place!
 
australwind said:
Stuffed them in with the rest of the dirty laundry, I think!


That place is just a mess........ knickers and jocks, socks.....bras...flung about all over the place!
Click to expand...

I'll never see them again..... Oh well!
 
Maybe we could do something to take advantage of the general nakedness..... ;)
 
Okay, I need to get going very soon, but maybe we can discuss the underwear shortage later? ;)
 
australwind said:
It's 5.00pm...is it too early to pour the first glass of red for the night? :p
Click to expand...

I feel a bit guilty that I've been waiting. No, pass me your glass, allow me. :rose:
Settle back and relax Austral.
 
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Afternoon, m.j.h. .........my day has been fine up until a few minutes ago.....but I'll survive!!


How was yours?
 
australwind said:
Afternoon, m.j.h. .........my day has been fine up until a few minutes ago.....but I'll survive!!


How was yours?
Click to expand...

My day was fine till the car overheated and then i did the same trying to fix the fucking thing.

What happened a few mins ago or is that to personal.
 
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