aussies

[witch_fire]

Hmmm like to make that comparison for myself

Hard to judge though as I like all nipples????

Love to show ya, but my digital camera shit itself and i don't keep nipple shots handy.

 

[Ladybird]

A Christmas Poem..

'Twas the night before Christmas, and boy was it neat.
The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat.

The doors were all bolted, the phone off the hook,
It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.

Momma in her teddy and I in the nude,
Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube.

When out on the lawn there arose such a cry,
That I lost my boner, and momma went dry.

Up to the window I sprang like an elf,
Tore back the shade while she played with herself.

The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built,
Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer.

With a fat little driver, half out of the sled,
A sock in his ear and a bra on his head.

Sure as I'm speaking, he was high as a kite,
And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right.

Whoa ****head, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz,
Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts.

Look out for the lamp post, and don't hit the tree,
Quit shaking the sleigh, 'cause I gotta go pee.

They cleared the old lamp post, the tree got a rub,
Just as Santa leaned out and threw up on my shrub.

And then from the roof we heard such a clatter,
As each little reindeer now emptied his bladder.

I was donning my jacket to cover my ass,
When down the chimmney Santa came with a crash.

His suit was all smelly with perfume galore,
He looked like a bum and smelled like a whore.

"That was some brothel," he said with a smile,
"The reindeer are pooped, and I'll just stay awhile"

He walked to the kitchen for himself poured a drink,
Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink.

I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee,
The old boy was hung nearly down to his knee.

Back in the den, Santa reached in his sack,
But his toys were all gone, and some new things were packed.

The first thing he found was a pair of false tits,
The next was a handgun with a penis that spits.

A box filled with condoms was Santa's next find,
And six pair of panties, the edible kind.

A bra without nipples, a penis extension,
And several more things I shouldn't even mention.

A **** ring, a G-string, and all types of oil,
And a dildo so long that it lay in a coil.

"This stuff ain't for kids, Mrs. Santa will ****,
So I'll leave 'em here, and then I'll just split."

He filled every stocking and then took his leave,
With one tiny butt plug stuck under his sleeve.

He sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead,
Thus he fell on his ass and broke wind instead.

In time he was seated, took reigns of his hitch,
Saying,"Take me home, Rudolph. This night's been a *****!"

The sleigh was near gone when we heard Santa shout,
"The best thing about pussy is you can't wear it out !!"

~ M E R R Y ~
~ C H R I S T M A S ~​

 

[bertrande]

F*ck - the faster I try to run, the more I fall over. At least I'll be on my knees when I get there. Oral sex does it for me any day, any time. And I'm talking about giving, not necessarily receiving

oh la la

 

[Don K Dyck]

Hello my learned friend... how has this day treated you?

OK . . . still house painting . . .

Bin over to the GB but nobody was home . . . geez I miss whacking a redneck . . .

 

[bertrande]

Ouch you said the "O" word to B..... your in big trouble now buddy

excuse me.......I resemble that remark

 

[scumbag]

Love to show ya, but my digital camera shit itself and i don't keep nipple shots handy.

Yeah Yeah a likely excuse......hahahaha

Ill remember for when its fixed!

 

[Don K Dyck]

Stuff the Princes

Rebitt

THAST is a capital idea Scummie . . .

 

[Ladybird]

OK . . . still house painting . . .

Bin over to the GB but nobody was home . . . geez I miss whacking a redneck . . .

lol... I love you to bits Don, you know that, but it has to be said.............. you're a shit stirrer babe.

 

[bertrande]

'Twas the night before Christmas, and boy was it neat.
The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat.

~ M E R R Y ~
~ C H R I S T M A S ~​

ROFLMAO

 

[OzDave]

oh la la

Well, Scummie had me a little concerned with his warning, but I am encouraged by that response.
I think I misread you Scummie.

 

[Don K Dyck]

lol... I love you to bits Don, you know that, but it has to be said.............. you're a shit stirrer babe.

Hey LB . . . you checking out your av collection to see if its still all there??

Or just giving us horny guys a turn-on before bed . . . so we can dream deliciously dirty dreams??

 

[bertrande]

OK . . . still house painting . . .

Bin over to the GB but nobody was home . . . geez I miss whacking a redneck . . .

let me see now.....



now complaints about your oral technique and you paint.


any chance you are coming to melbourne in the foreseeable future.......


.....when i am done with car repairs - i have two rooms to paint

 

[OzDave]

Love to show ya, but my digital camera shit itself and i don't keep nipple shots handy.

I know someone who is not so far away with megapixel machine ready and able. At your service Witchy.

 

[Don K Dyck]

ROFLMAO

Hmmm . . . there's something quite stimulating about sucking on a delicious nipple and making it stand to attention . . . and other things . . .

 

[Ladybird]

Hey LB . . . you checking out your av collection to see if its still all there??

Or just giving us horny guys a turn-on before bed . . . so we can dream deliciously dirty dreams??

Actually I was thinking it's time I took a few more pics, these are all old ones rehashed.

But, if you're going to dream dirty hon.......... dream of me.

 

[m.j.h]

Nice christmas poem LB.
You seen this one.

The Christmas Kangaroo

.....Hugh Jackman
Dad.....Will Ferrell




[ open on Hugh sitting on the main stage ]

Hugh Jackman: It's a joyous time of the year, Christmas, which millions of people around the globe celebrate in a variety of ways. Here in America, children are visited by Santa Claus, a magical fat man from the North Pole who slides down the chimney, leaves presents under a tree. But in Australia, where I'm from, instead of Santa Claus, we were visited by the Christmas Kangaroo, who brought gifts for all the boys and girls. But the Christmas Kangaroo wouldn't just give you the gifts.

[ dissolve to Christmas Kangaroo visiting young Hugh and his siblings at Christmas ]

Hugh Jackman V/O: You see, we Australians are a rough-and-tumble bunch, and this kangaroo lived by code. Your father would have to fight him for the gifts.

[ Christmas Kangaroo punches Dad in the face ]

Sometimes the fights would turn nasty.

[ Dad smashes chair over Christmas Kangaroo's head, winning the fight ]

But when your dad won, you would get anything you wanted.

[ dissolve back to adult Hugh ]

Hugh Jackman: Christmas was my favorite time of the year. I always looked forward to the return of the Christmas Kangaroo. But.. then when I was 12, tragedy struck. My dad lost the fight.

[ dissolve to Christmas Kangaroo beating up Dad again ]

Hugh Jackman V/O: When the Kangaroo won, it was pretty much up to him what happened him. More often than not, that'd mean we didn't get presents..

[ Christmas Kangaroo throws Dad over the couch and anal rapes him ]

..and my dad got sodomized.

[ dissolve back to adult Hugh ]

Hugh Jackman: It was a rough time around the Jackman homestead. I thought things would get better next Christmas, but no. My father ended up losing the next four years in a row. It was horrible. After a while, I questioned if my dad was even trying to win.

[ dissolve to older Dad primpimg in preparation for the Christmas Kangaroo's arrival ]

[ the Kangaroo arrives, and Dad lays a few girly punches before throwing in the towel ]

Dad: Damn. Looks like you win. Again. Kids, go get him a Scotch and Soda.

[ dissolve back to adult Hugh ]

Hugh Jackman: I mean, sure, sure, the Kangaroo gave us gifts.. but I just felt dirty accepting them. It seemed like a hell of a price to pay just so I could have a sweater vest. Luckily, when I was seventeen, after a five-year winning streak, the Kangaroo lost.

[ dissolve to Dad approaching the Christmas Kangaroo as he enters the living room ]

Dad: Hello, Freckles. [ teenaged Hugh jumps and pounds the Christmas Kangaroo to death ] No-o-o-o-o!!! You killed Freckles! I mean.. yay, it's over.

[ dissolve back to adult Hugh ]

Hugh Jackman: And that's how the Christmas Kangaroo's reign of terror ended. Now, sure, on Christmas morning all the Australian boys and girls might not get toys, but it spared the horror of watching a giant marsupial taking their old man to browntown. And isn't that what Christmas is all about? Happy Holidays, everybody!

 

[witch_fire]

I know someone who is not so far away with megapixel machine ready and able. At your service Witchy.

Ahhh, no thats fine. I'll get the camera fixed. Okay?*bit bashful in r/l*

 

[m.j.h]

If anyone wants i can e-mail the vid to you,just pm me your e-mail addy and i can send on over.

 

[Don K Dyck]

let me see now.....



now complaints about your oral technique and you paint.


any chance you are coming to melbourne in the foreseeable future.......


.....when i am done with car repairs - i have two rooms to paint

Uhmmm . . . NO complaints abut any of my oral technique . . . oh, except "Why did you stop, <pant, pant> I was just enjoying that <pant, pant> immensely . . . Can we do it all again from the bottom upthis time?''

It's a while sinve I've done any body painting . . . but you never lose the knack . . .

 

[m.j.h]

Ahhh, no thats fine. I'll get the camera fixed. Okay?*bit bashful in r/l*

Why so bashful?

 

[bertrande]

Hmmm . . . there's something quite stimulating about sucking on an inverted nipple and making it stand to attention . . . and other things . . .

must be a bad angle - one thing I don't have is inverted nipples

 

[Ladybird]

Nice christmas poem LB.
You seen this one.

The Christmas Kangaroo

.....Hugh Jackman
Dad.....Will Ferrell

No I hadn't seen it... thanks for posting it, it's great!

 

[Don K Dyck]

Actually I was thinking it's time I took a few more pics, these are all old ones rehashed.

But, if you're going to dream dirty hon.......... dream of me.

Oh LB . . . the mind boggles at the possibilities . . .

 

[Don K Dyck]

must be a bad angle - one thing I don't have is inverted nipples

OK . . . delicious nipples . . .

 

[australwind]

Evening all LB, MissB ......

Boys.......