aussies
- Thread starter cheeky greg
- Start date
- Status
I have to acknowledge Aussie humour
sent this today and it made me laugh, good on yer guys
After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe
sheet,"which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The
mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form,
and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour. Here
are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked
with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance
engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never
had an accident.
Enjoy!
> P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
> S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
>
> P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
> S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
>
> P: Something loose in cockpit.
> S: Something tightened in cockpit.
>
> P: Dead bugs on windshield.
> S: Live bugs on back-order.
>
> P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
> descent.
> S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
>
> P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
> S: Evidence removed.
>
> P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
> S: DME volume set to more believable level.
>
> P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
> S: That's what they're for.
>
> P: IFF inoperative.
> S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
>
> P: Suspected crack in windshield.
> S: Suspect you're right.
>
> P: Number 3 engine missing.
> S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
>
> P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
> S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
>
> P: Target radar hums.
> S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
>
> P: Mouse in cockpit.
> S: Cat installed.
>
> And the best one for last..................
> P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
> pounding
> on something with a hammer.
> S: Took hammer away from midget.
sent this today and it made me laugh, good on yer guys
After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe
sheet,"which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The
mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form,
and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour. Here
are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked
with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance
engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never
had an accident.
Enjoy!
> P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
> S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
>
> P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
> S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
>
> P: Something loose in cockpit.
> S: Something tightened in cockpit.
>
> P: Dead bugs on windshield.
> S: Live bugs on back-order.
>
> P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
> descent.
> S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
>
> P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
> S: Evidence removed.
>
> P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
> S: DME volume set to more believable level.
>
> P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
> S: That's what they're for.
>
> P: IFF inoperative.
> S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
>
> P: Suspected crack in windshield.
> S: Suspect you're right.
>
> P: Number 3 engine missing.
> S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
>
> P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
> S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
>
> P: Target radar hums.
> S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
>
> P: Mouse in cockpit.
> S: Cat installed.
>
> And the best one for last..................
> P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
> pounding
> on something with a hammer.
> S: Took hammer away from midget.
australwind
lightness of being
- Joined
- Jan 19, 2005
- Posts
- 10,859
GSUtaboo said:
We will all tell you that our own state is the best!
Perhaps you could give us some idea of what you wish to achieve will you're here? Are you planning on studying? Working? Travelling?
Every state in Australia has different something to offer.......
australwind
lightness of being
- Joined
- Jan 19, 2005
- Posts
- 10,859
Hey there............ 
Headache is beckoning me back into my bed for nap.....might catch you later on.
Headache is beckoning me back into my bed for nap.....might catch you later on.
australwind
lightness of being
- Joined
- Jan 19, 2005
- Posts
- 10,859
hehehehehehehehe!
Never know that me having a bit of a headache here in Melbourne could shut down the rest of you aussies quite so effectively!
My headache's better now!
Never know that me having a bit of a headache here in Melbourne could shut down the rest of you aussies quite so effectively!
My headache's better now!
- Status
