Attracted to my son's friend.

[Lovingmother]

My youngest son is 17 and involved in a lot of sports at school and recently became friends with a teammate from the lacrosse team. They have been hanging out at our house a lot lately and I've developed a pretty intense sexual crush on him.

He is tall, blond and incredibly handsome and I was instantly attracted to him. I have had minor crushes on a few of my older son's friends but nothing like this. I am so turned on by him sexually that I fantasize about what I would like to do to him and have gone so far as to masturbate quietly in the room next to where they hang out because I am so aroused by the sound of his voice. I have copied his facebook photos into a folder on my computer and look at them almost every day and every time I masturbate.

I would never act on my desires as I could never hurt my son in that way but his friend has taken me to new levels of arousal in the last month and I'm really enjoying the feeling he gives me.

Any other moms out there have a similar attraction? I would love to find out.
Patricia

 

[tcbyron]

No. No. No.

I had my kids at a young age. Graduated at 16, had my 1st at 17 and my 2nd at 18. My kids are now almost 17 & 18. I very often get told I don't look my age and that there is no way my kids are actually my kids.

Both my daughter and son had/have friends who crushed on me. My kids tell me everything. No. Just no. That to me is just too damn creepy.

The first issue for me being that they are the same age range as my kids... Think of what it would be like to go somewhere as a couple and run into his/her friends... Yea... What in the hell are you going to talk about? How they did on their math test? Ummmm. No thanks...

Second issue for me would be that they are my kids -friends-. That's a no-no. Just like dating a friends ex - a no-no.

I do not have a problem or issue with age differences once all parties involved are over 21 though. Until that point, just - no.

 

[Lovingmother]

I would never act on my feelings as I would not wish to hurt my son in any way but I cannot help but be attracted to an extremely beautiful man. Just to clarify, he is 19 years of age. It seems perfectly fine for men to ogle 18 year old girls but somehow it is supposed to be different for women? I am comfortable enough in myself to enjoy the fantasy of what having sex with him would be like without feeling guilty. It's my little secret desire, what is wrong with that?

Patricia

 

[randy4123]

Great point! There's not a thing wrong with enjoying your own fantasy!

 

[TheOlderGuy]

There's nothing wrong with it. Our culture is very screwed up when it comes to sex/age issues. I wish I had had an older woman to teach me about sex when I was young. Looking back I can see the opportunites I probably blew by being too shy. And so I was left to figure it out on my own, with girls my own age who were almost as clueless as me. Fortunately I'm an excellent student and learned it well whenever those opportunites arose. Our culture would be in far better shape if caring adults were able to teach the young ones about sex.

The real red flag here is that he's a friend of your son. Unless he's an unusaul boy he would not take it well. But you could always ask if you think he's mature enought o have that conversation.

 

[subwannabe]

That's what fantasies are for. Enjoy yourself.

 

[Lost_Yonder]

It seems like you are well aware of the limits of making this particular fantasy a reality - which is too bad for the young guy in question as I am sure he has similar thoughts of you when he goes home!

That being said, there does seem to be a bit of an obsessiveness in your behavior about him. While you recognize the limits, it seems like it will be increasingly difficult to "hide" your infatuation from him and your son - creating an even more awkward situation. Staring at him, having someone find all his photos on your computer, or even hearing you masturbate in the next room...

 

[whalee]

I would never act on my feelings as I would not wish to hurt my son in any way but I cannot help but be attracted to an extremely beautiful man. Just to clarify, he is 19 years of age. It seems perfectly fine for men to ogle 18 year old girls but somehow it is supposed to be different for women? I am comfortable enough in myself to enjoy the fantasy of what having sex with him would be like without feeling guilty. It's my little secret desire, what is wrong with that?

Patricia

Nothing!

 

[Ntexeagle]

As they say...

Just because you're on a diet doesn't mean you can't look at the menu.

 

[NICEGUY74]

or even hearing you masturbate in the next room...

hmmm he would be one lucky guy....when I was a teenager I often used to fantasize about my friends mom.....to actually hear her masturbating or to catch her in the act would be the biggest turn on...Depending on the guys maturity I see nothing wrong with pushing the envelope a little further. One thing to remember you think you have naughty thoughts about him I'm betting his thoughts are much dirtier about you.....perhaps you should give him more to fantasize about.....sexy pair of panties discarded on the floor would be a good start.....

 

[LRRH77]

Not sure I'd want to push the limit with a friend of your child, though. Nothing wrong with fantasy as long as it doesn't cross a line.

 

[klippert]

This is a no go zone. until there out of H.S.. I don't give two coins weather He's 18 or not... Most 18-24 yo's (boys or girls) are completely im mature. not to mention...you bed this kid. You son is a marked man.

I was seduced by a divorced lady, a family friend. This all took place, well after H.S. graduation.. She set all the rules. To this day I still have never as much as told my wife who she was....

Our culture IS very screwed up.

 

[NYTimesBest]

fun times

I think this sounds sweet. I wish I would've heard one of my friend's from HS's moms talking like that about me, such a turn on!

Now, from the reverse perspective of things: as a horny bastard in high school just looking for a good time, if I had slept with anyone's mom, I would have done one of 2 things: either definitely bragged about it to my friends at the time, or kept my mouth shut for fear of being ridiculed myself. I'm not sure how this kid would be, but I bet he'd do the same since to him it would just be a fun fling. You'd probably get hit on by all his friends soon after and your son would be humiliated.

With that said, enjoy your fantasy, and if you do decide to get involved be ready for consequences, and make sure to lay the ground rules all up front with the kid.

I did manage to sleep with a number of older women, including one's with kids almost my age once I was out of college and at that point no one was harmed since it was kept discreet. Maybe you could just wait a few years when your son's out of school too.

 

[bobcat2003]

Kinda reminds me of the movie Class.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0085346/

I must admit, the elevator scene was pretty hot.

 

[billrichards41]

A fantasy for both you and possibly him!
Depending on the situation no doubt it could be fun for both of you but the aftermath for your kids would be very screwed up. Best to leave that young thing alone and if you need to quell your fire let me know... I'll swing by and help you out after all it is a lovely day here in the NE and nothing like the top down on your way to a picnic is there?

 

[1sickbastard]

I would never act on my desires as I could never hurt my son in that way but his friend has taken me to new levels of arousal in the last month and I'm really enjoying the feeling he gives me.

Patricia

Cool, you have the distiction between a fantasy and acting on said fantasy. No harm at all in that.

But from the tone of your post, it seems like you're crushing hard on the kid. If he figures it out and makes a move on you, do you have the will power to say 'no'?

Just remeber that older/younger relationships should follow the "campground" rule: Leave'em in better shape than you found them. As the boy is a friend of your son, that would include him as well (no, not in a sexual sense, you perv's!).

Questions:
Are you married?
Have you ever dated/had sex with a much younger man than yourself?
Would you be willing to discuss the situation with your son before anything untoward happens?

 

[Spenser41]

There are tons of movies and stories out there. Enjoy the fantasy.

 

[dirtwrench]

Nothing wrong with a fantasy, but watch yourself carefully. All the advice that it will be harder and harder to hide your crush is sound. Also, I hope those pic files on your computer are password protected?

Myself, I am the dad of an 18 and 20 year old sons. Also I am a former 18-20 year old guy. So with this in mind I have to ask-

WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU THEN???????

 

[OnceFuturePoly]

It works well when the older women teach the younger men so they can teach their girl friends about really good sex...


So if you must give in to temptation, I'd settle up with your son beforehand.

Make sure he will accept your fling, and cover for you. If your boy-toy brags, your son will call him out and say that you've talked and it's BS. (Of course, boy-toy then gets it between the eyes... Got any ideas for blackmailing him?)

Set some rules, like how many times, before/after graduation, public behavior, limits on time/place, exit strategy, etc. Get your son's buy-in. (You'll probably have to give your son something in return.)

Then cross your fingers, pray a lot, and lay a maturity trip on both of them before you make your move.

PS: I assume you have no husband/SO.

PPS: Think about a scenario where your boy-toy's mom reciprocates with your son. Sex only happens when all four of you get together, and they police each other.

 

[gregy70]

I can't remember what age I was , but somewhere between 18 & 21.
I got on well with my best mates mum & she would phone me sometimes for a chat & I would visit her at times .
One night she put the weights on me.
I never did anything only because I wasn't attracted to her at all.
If she was a good sort I would of.
It never affected our friendship & I never told my mate.
It wasn't a big deal for me.

 

[Lovingmother]

Some of you have asked about my marriage and sex-life so I feel I should elaborate further:

I'm 40 years old and will have been with my husband for 23 years this coming Fall. We met when he was 21 and I was 17 - he played in a few bands in my hometown, I was a grunge girl, he was very handsome, we hooked up...

I became pregnant at 19 and in spite of being a staunch pro-choice advocate I decided to have the baby. We had been together for about two and a half years and although we were very young, we decided to raise our first son together. We both come from liberal backgrounds and felt no need to marry right away (although we did, in 1994, a year before our second son was born).

My now husband knew from the beginning of our relationship that I was bi-sexual but after I met him I was not with another women for about 10 years. We were faithful up until the point when he landed a huge promotion in the company he works for and began having to travel to Europe quite a lot.

Did I mention that he is very, very handsome? Well, European woman thought so too and after months of suspicion, he confessed to having a series of affairs and one-night stands. I was upset, certainly, but not devastated. We both have very high sex drives, and I too had been fantasizing (without doing anything) about having my own affairs, so we agreed to try an open marriage. When he went off on a trip we were both free to do what we pleased, provided it was safe and not with someone who might the other didn't approve of.

I began an affair with a librarian girl which has continued to this day and have had about 20 other lovers, mostly female. Although my husband is fine with the lesbian relationships I have, he is jealous of other men so part of the deal was that I could eat as much pussy as I wanted while saving my mouth for his trusty old member! I went along with that for a few years until one drunken blowjob I gave a younger musician (hot hot hot) reawakened my desire for new hunks (and fresh cock).

My husband and I still regularly fuck, and it's still as much fun as ever. He doesn't know about my male lovers (it's my dirty little secret and it turns me on) and hasn't seemed to suspect anything.

My boys know nothing of any of this. To them I'm just funny old mom. The oldest is at college, the youngest graduates high school next year, life is good and the sex is great.

I hope that fills in some of the blanks, if anyone has any queries I'd be happy to reply as best I can. I really appreciate all the feedback!

Love, Patricia

 

[millieteases]

Delete the pictures. Enjoy the fantasy. Do no more than that until the guy is 30 or older. Then...only maybe.

 

[littlebabyclit]

...........

 

[Emmcee20]

Long term planning???

Delete the pictures. Enjoy the fantasy. Do no more than that until the guy is 30 or older. Then...only maybe.

30? Really? You want this sexy lady to wait 'til she's turned 50 to act on this - what is at the moment only a fantasy. Reality says the son will leave school in a year or so and the close friendship may well disappear. Then these young men are free to choose. Then 'Mum' who is open about her choices can decide to act. Good luck Ma'am! I recall fondly the 30+ yo who helped me learn a little (actually a lot) in my youth.

 

[galen107]

I think it is normally to have feelings like that I know i have feelings for older women, much like yours Patricia..even back in high school a teacher, or whatever older women just drive me crazy I wouldn't act on them, but i think it is normal