At what point do you lose control?

[inlovewithyourghost]

I have been pondering:
Voluntary and Invountary Biological Functions...

At rest, my body breathes without help. It does what it wants to naturally. I can stop breathing voluntarily, but at a certain point it becomes a need so great that my body will step in. It will take away all control of will that I have by force if necessary... I'll pass out, and my body will resume doing what it Needs to do. In the end my body wins over will power. How far does that go, how much of that is true in other aspects?

For example:

When I feel her hand on my thigh, my body automatically reacts. My heart rate increases, and Instantly I am wet. I have a decision at that point to allow my body to do what it wants to or to exercise will power and restraint...

Which brings me to the question:
Is there ever a point at which the body wins, I wonder? And if so, at what point is it when will-power folds, and the body takes what it wants?

 

[Brute_Force]

Interesting question. I know that the brain controls all our bodily functions. It regulates breathing, controls movement, and causes the body to respond to stimuli. The brain still controls this even if we fall into a coma.

So, on a biological level, the brain is the organ that determines when or if we lose control.

When I see a beautiful woman who moves a certain way or smiles in a way that makes me pay attention, I feel aroused. Do I act on this? Depends. If she is close to me and touches me, do I respond to that? Depends.

So many factors to consider. But, a sage once said, "The body never lies." So, our responses are true to ourselves. Whether we act on response is another question. I have "lost control" in erotic situations before, but only when my partner seems to have done so also.

I have lost control in anger before, and have hit someone out of rage. But, that's another matter, I suppose.

 

[impressive]

I don't believe that acting upon one's sexual impulses is ever involuntary. Not when conscious, anyway. There is always an option -- a choice.

If, for example, I deny my conscious body orgasm for a period of time. I will reach a point that I come in my sleep. In my experience, that period of time is somewhere between 3 and 5 days. It doesn't matter whether I'm jonesing over a particular fantasy or not. It's just how I'm wired.

For that matter, I have come without conscious effort while just thinking about certain people or scenarios that are particularly stimulating to me -- and while that itself was not a choice -- I still have the will to resist ACTING.

Make sense?

 

[Recidiva]

The moment is temptation. I'm sure I can maintain control under extremely severe circumstances.

But being on that brink often makes losing control the more interesting option, and also the place I learn the most about myself.

So when the benefits outweigh the risks, I prefer being out of control.

ETA: What I learn tends to move the boundaries of what's tempting.

 

[cantdog]

I have been pondering:
Voluntary and Invountary Biological Functions...

At rest, my body breathes without help. It does what it wants to naturally. I can stop breathing voluntarily, but at a certain point it becomes a need so great that my body will step in. It will take away all control of will that I have by force if necessary... I'll pass out, and my body will resume doing what it Needs to do. In the end my body wins over will power. How far does that go, how much of that is true in other aspects?

For example:

When I feel her hand on my thigh, my body automatically reacts. My heart rate increases, and Instantly I am wet. I have a decision at that point to allow my body to do what it wants to or to exercise will power and restraint...

Which brings me to the question:
Is there ever a point at which the body wins, I wonder? And if so, at what point is it when will-power folds, and the body takes what it wants?

inlove,

this is a great first couple of paragraphs for your next story, with only a few changes, yannow.

 

[inlovewithyourghost]

I have lost control in anger before, and have hit someone out of rage. But, that's another matter, I suppose.

I like what you said. Especially about responses being true to ourselves. And I do believe that there are many variables which come into play (no pun intended).

Also, thank you for touching on the above point. I hadn't meant for my question to be strictly sexual in nature. It just happened to be what I was thinking about at the moment

 

[inlovewithyourghost]

I don't believe that acting upon one's sexual impulses is ever involuntary. Not when conscious, anyway. There is always an option -- a choice.

If, for example, I deny my conscious body orgasm for a period of time. I will reach a point that I come in my sleep. In my experience, that period of time is somewhere between 3 and 5 days. It doesn't matter whether I'm jonesing over a particular fantasy or not. It's just how I'm wired.

For that matter, I have come without conscious effort while just thinking about certain people or scenarios that are particularly stimulating to me -- and while that itself was not a choice -- I still have the will to resist ACTING.

Make sense?

Makes perfect sense to me.

And the point that you made about orgasming in your sleep I find particularly interesting. Like you said - consciousness being the key factor. You can deny your body the sexual release it seeks, but after a certain point, it will take what it wants during a state in which the decision-making part of your mind has been "disabled" and you have no longer have "control" over your body...

You know... I think your body needs to have a serious conversation with my body...

 

[inlovewithyourghost]

The moment is temptation. I'm sure I can maintain control under extremely severe circumstances.

But being on that brink often makes losing control the more interesting option, and also the place I learn the most about myself.

So when the benefits outweigh the risks, I prefer being out of control.

ETA: What I learn tends to move the boundaries of what's tempting.

DIVA!!! *HUG*

Interesting perspective... But if you are Voluntarily relinquishing control, have you really lost control, or have you simply made the decision to go with the flow?

 

[impressive]

Makes perfect sense to me.

And the point that you made about orgasming in your sleep I find particularly interesting. Like you said - consciousness being the key factor. You can deny your body the sexual release it seeks, but after a certain point, it will take what it wants during a state in which the decision-making part of your mind has been "disabled" and you have no longer have "control" over your body...

You know... I think your body needs to have a serious conversation with my body...

Let's sleep on it. *grin*



An interesting tangent: subconscious sabotage. Y'know, those times when we shoot ourselves in the proverbial feet as a way of removing the onus of making a conscious decision to ACT.

 

[Nirvanadragones]

You have come here
in pursuit of
your deepest urge,
in pursuit of
that wish,
which till now
has been silent,
silent . . .

I have brought you,
that our passions
may fuse and merge -
in your mind
you've already
succumbed to me
dropped all defences
completely succumbed to me -
now you are here with me:
no second thoughts,
you've decided,
decided . . .

Past the point
of no return -
no backward glances:
the games we've played
till now are at
an end . . .
Past all thought
of "if" or "when" -
no use resisting:
abandon thought,
and let the dream
descend . . .

What raging fire
shall flood the soul?
What rich desire
unlocks its door?
What sweet seduction
lies before
us . . .?

Past the point
of no return,
the final threshold -
what warm,
unspoken secrets
will we learn?
Beyond the point
of no return . . .

You have brought me
to that moment
where words run dry,
to that moment
where speech
disappears
into silence,
silence . . .

I have come here,
hardly knowing
the reason why . . .
In my mind,
I've already
imagined our
bodies entwining
defenceless and silent -
and now I am
here with you:
no second thoughts,

I've decided,
decided . . .

Past the point
of no return -
no going back now:
our passion-play
has now, at last,
begun . . .
Past all thought
of right or wrong -
one final question:
how long should we
two wait, before
we're one . . .?

When will the blood
begin to race
the sleeping bud
burst into bloom?
When will the flames,
at last, consume
us . . .?

Past the point
of no return
the final threshold -
the bridge
is crossed, so stand
and watch it burn . . .
We've passed the point
of no return . . .

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Which brings me to the question:
Is there ever a point at which the body wins, I wonder? And if so, at what point is it when will-power folds, and the body takes what it wants?

I can be a very controlled person if the situation calls for it but when I do lose control, its mostly mentally, then my body takes over by producing pain. I withstand it as long as possible, but when I lose that grip the emotional part takes over and my actions become more destructive.

When I lose control in an intimate situation, its not will power but free will that takes over and if I feel safe, my body responds to the need and the want.

 

[Recidiva]

DIVA!!! *HUG*

Interesting perspective... But if you are Voluntarily relinquishing control, have you really lost control, or have you simply made the decision to go with the flow?

*happy jumping up and down spinning hug with clapping*

It's my view that it's always a calculated decision, because there's a series of choices that lead to the loss of control.

So for me "being drunk" isn't an excuse for losing control. Because you chose to drink. You're still responsible for the results. You can see in the chain of events where the links got weaker and weaker until they ultimately snapped. In my case, I have a very strong chain. I try not to make choices that make me weaker when I give in to temptation, but choices that if I give into temptation, I'm at my strongest.

This applies to me in thought and relationship. If something completely fascinates me, I will assume there's a "burning gift" in there somewhere. Somewhere in that idea, or person, there's bait and a trap and if I REALLY want the bait, to understand it, or a taste...I'll walk straight in, pay the price for the trap, and get what I need.

This occasionally makes people think I'm insane or reckless, but in my view I'm not. I always walk out with what I went in after, it's never what I thought it would be, but the scars are often the same and I know how to heal them.

I've learned a lot about traps, a lot about bait, and a lot about how to negotiate temptation. I'm up front about exactly what I've said - I will tell person "There's something about you, I don't know what it is, but I want it."

I'll pursue thoughts into practice to see if they work. The people in my life initially brand me crazy or learn to let me go, or walk in my footsteps.

I've gotten very good at it, to where recent tests of the theory had me doing things I didn't think were possible in terms of control.

Fear for me means hide. And I'm very good at that. Fascination is different. So for me, if I'm afraid of something, I'll either avoid it entirely (addictive drugs, sharks...) but if I'm fascinated by a person or an idea, I'll run straight up to it or them, shake its hand and introduce myself. Fascination sometimes turns to fear and avoidance. But usually I managed to learn things I couldn't have learned any other way.

 

[inlovewithyourghost]

You have come here
in pursuit of
your deepest urge,
in pursuit of
that wish,
which till now
has been silent,
silent . . .

I have brought you,
that our passions
may fuse and merge -
in your mind
you've already
succumbed to me
dropped all defences
completely succumbed to me -
now you are here with me:
no second thoughts,
you've decided,
decided . . .

Past the point
of no return -
no backward glances:
the games we've played
till now are at
an end . . .
Past all thought
of "if" or "when" -
no use resisting:
abandon thought,
and let the dream
descend . . .

What raging fire
shall flood the soul?
What rich desire
unlocks its door?
What sweet seduction
lies before
us . . .?

Past the point
of no return,
the final threshold -
what warm,
unspoken secrets
will we learn?
Beyond the point
of no return . . .

You have brought me
to that moment
where words run dry,
to that moment
where speech
disappears
into silence,
silence . . .

I have come here,
hardly knowing
the reason why . . .
In my mind,
I've already
imagined our
bodies entwining
defenceless and silent -
and now I am
here with you:
no second thoughts,

I've decided,
decided . . .

Past the point
of no return -
no going back now:
our passion-play
has now, at last,
begun . . .
Past all thought
of right or wrong -
one final question:
how long should we
two wait, before
we're one . . .?

When will the blood
begin to race
the sleeping bud
burst into bloom?
When will the flames,
at last, consume
us . . .?

Past the point
of no return
the final threshold -
the bridge
is crossed, so stand
and watch it burn . . .
We've passed the point
of no return . . .

Which I was listening to last night, as a matter of fact...

Which brings me closer, perhaps, to a personal answer to this question... as I happen to know that music has a way of releasing my inhibitions... It taps into something more... something underlying... an emotional undercurrent which floes how it will in spite of any mental prodding that I may attempt to use to sway it one way or another. It simply "is". And at times - for me - it reaches the point of consuming all other conscious thought. And I am powerless to do anything but get lost in it. Which can be quite embarrassing at time. Especially when I'm in the middle of a conversation.

 

[inlovewithyourghost]

Let's sleep on it. *grin*



An interesting tangent: subconscious sabotage. Y'know, those times when we shoot ourselves in the proverbial feet as a way of removing the onus of making a conscious decision to ACT.

And I was just thinking to myself that it may be time to go to bed...

Hmm. Yes... But to be fair to my subconscious self, I must say that I've also had many dreams in which I've found solutions to problems where I may not have been able to in any other way.

 

[neonlyte]

Out of control sounds good. I find myself needing to excerise an extreme amount of control these days otherwise my body decides to deal with the overload by shutting down functions.

 

[inlovewithyourghost]

I can be a very controlled person if the situation calls for it but when I do lose control, its mostly mentally, then my body takes over by producing pain. I withstand it as long as possible, but when I lose that grip the emotional part takes over and my actions become more destructive.

When I lose control in an intimate situation, its not will power but free will that takes over and if I feel safe, my body responds to the need and the want.

Heya Stranger How's you?

Again... mental/physical. *smiles* Very honest answer, which I appreciate greatly. I also love that you made the distinction between the destructive and intimate situations. Thank you.

 

[gauchecritic]

Breathing, heart rate, rapid response (touching something hot) are not controlled by the brain. They are linked to the autonomic nervous system which is a fail safe for unconsciousness or apparent decision making.

After death a heart can continue beating, as can breathing both separately or independently. (eg continue breathing after the heart stops even after death ensues)

The point at which the mind takes over is when we turn around after beginning to run from danger. Or hold onto a boiling pan of water which is burning our hands.

The responses to stimuli are still there but we can consciously override them.

Your body can't take over just from a response, the loss of control is the mind letting the body have control. In cases of where certain learned responses are triggered and you follow through with what your body wants (kissing the person touching your thigh perhaps) This isn't a response. This is a voluntary action. Often a rewarding action.

Fight or flee isn't a response, it's a decision, a choice: fight or flee. What is triggered is a chemical reaction making the body able to respond in the desired direction.

In answer to the question:

Is there ever a point at which the body wins, I wonder? And if so, at what point is it when will-power folds, and the body takes what it wants?

The only thing a body can take without volition is air into the lungs. (just finished a first aid course) Which takes priority over any other bodily mishap. Everything else is jam.

 

[MagicaPractica]

Which I was listening to last night, as a matter of fact...

Which brings me closer, perhaps, to a personal answer to this question... as I happen to know that music has a way of releasing my inhibitions... It taps into something more... something underlying... an emotional undercurrent which floes how it will in spite of any mental prodding that I may attempt to use to sway it one way or another. It simply "is". And at times - for me - it reaches the point of consuming all other conscious thought. And I am powerless to do anything but get lost in it. Which can be quite embarrassing at time. Especially when I'm in the middle of a conversation.

George Lucas once said that the soundtrack is something like 75% of a movie because it speaks directly to our emotions instead of the intellect. It bypasses our need to think about it on the surface. In the same way, color in a picture can do that. The lines speak to the intellect while the color speaks to our emotions.

There's almost always far more going on in our brains than we are aware of. The brain moves faster than we can understand on the surface. That's where intuition comes from I believe. It takes a great deal of practice to really be aware of the steps your brain takes a lot of the time.

 

[impressive]

Which I was listening to last night, as a matter of fact...

Which brings me closer, perhaps, to a personal answer to this question... as I happen to know that music has a way of releasing my inhibitions... It taps into something more... something underlying... an emotional undercurrent which floes how it will in spite of any mental prodding that I may attempt to use to sway it one way or another. It simply "is". And at times - for me - it reaches the point of consuming all other conscious thought. And I am powerless to do anything but get lost in it. Which can be quite embarrassing at time. Especially when I'm in the middle of a conversation.

Scent can do this for me.

 

[Guest]

I don't believe that acting upon one's sexual impulses is ever involuntary. N

but I so love the moment when the woman I'm with decides not so much "lose control" as to decide to no longer retain control of herself, and let herself go and respond to me without reservation.

 

[slyc_willie]

It's always been my idea that no one ever actually 'loses control' when it comes to emotions. We choose to allow our emotions overwhelm us, however subconscious that decision might be.

When I am very turned on, I am still conscious of the fact that I can stop what I am doing, or about to do, at any moment. But, more often than not, I chose not to. It's not like I am having a conversation in my head, and come to a decision. It's a recognition of impulses, without regard for what may happen later.

That's as close as anyone gets to 'losing control,' I think.

 

[impressive]

I've been thinking about control as it relates to emotion. Trust, in particular.

It's often said that you can't control how you FEEL, only how you choose to ACT based on those feelings. It's a common mantra, especially for anger management.

Love just... is. It's not a decision. We don't choose to love. We choose whether (or how) to express it.

Why then is trust considered voluntary? We either feel it, or we don't.

I read The Diary of Anne Frank as a child. (Who didn't?) One line resonated with me, a line of dialog her mother allegedly said to her: Love cannot be forced.

I think that's true of all emotion.

But, damn, don't you sometimes wish it could?

 

[Nirvanadragones]

But, damn, don't you sometimes wish it could?

I've been sitting with the "change over" - the moment/ space between what is, and what isn't choice. Is that process voluntary? Does it happen instinctively? Is it "loss of control"? Or is it pure choice?

Whatever it is, it paths the way. It's the defining moment that steers.

 

[impressive]

I've been sitting with the "change over" - the moment/ space between what is, and what isn't choice. Is that process voluntary? Does it happen instinctively? Is it "loss of control"? Or is it pure choice?

Whatever it is, it paths the way. It's the defining moment that steers.

And is often external -- a catalyst.

 

[neonlyte]

How about the state of being 'Happy'?

Not the momentary event that causes a smile, but that deep inner happiness that makes the world seem bright and interesting. I can't control that, it seems to me to be involuntary, though I guess certain paths could dictate happiness or unhappiness. Anyone got a map?