At what point did you recognize your kink?

[ObsidianRose]

When did you first recognize that you were...different? What lead you to recognize this?

I'll tell my story later, but I will say that I recognized my submissive nature when I was quite young...and it frightened the hell out of me.

However; I'm more interested in hearing your responses, right now.

 

[FallenAngelsSlut]

When did you first recognize that you were...different? What lead you to recognize this?

However; I'm more interested in hearing your responses, right now.

Hmmm I have a lot so I will write about two.
First is Strap-ons. First time I had my ass played with was several years ago. I was on top and she was grabbing my ass pulling my into her harder and harder. Next she jammed a unlubed finger into me! It hurt like hell and I never had it before. I was pissed and she was just like it's so hot and kinky. I got my things and left. Next this girl would touch every where and would massage my balls and ass when she went down on my. It felt a lot better but I still wasn't sure about touching my ass... but we broke up. Next is with my current G/F who has become my mistress. She would play with my ass when she was going down on me. Finally a finger and a small toy. We had some porn, Private, that is heavy on fetish. and there was strap-on scenes in it. I was a little turned on by it so we tried it. First time wasn't so good. but keep doing it using a enema before hand and now I am hooked and crave it!

second Subbing. I love being submissive and I guess this came, or I realized it when I was being fucked. I love it when she takes charge moves me how ever she wants. Slaps me around a little...

third is cock sucking. I feel so dominated and humiliated when she makes me suck her "cock" and she calls me her cock sucker. I get so turned on when doing it.

I love to go down on girls too, It turns me on so much I love the smell and taste!

And last for now is Cross-dressing, came from the rest. I love feeling like a whore and to get fucked like one.

 

[FallenAngelsSlut]

I'll tell my story later.

K,
it's latter I told an how about you?

 

[FurryFury]

I didn't until November of 2004 when I was 44. All those years I could have been doing kinky things but I didn't get it. *grr*

Fury

 

[angelsrose]

I think I first realized I was a little different when I started stealing my moms erotica books at age 16. I hadn't ever had an orgasm before so I jus got turned on and read them. I didn't quite get the whole masterbation thing as of then. I kept stealing them and reading them, and the only parts where I got turned on was when the charector in the story was humilaited, spanked, forced ect... I mean it seemed like fun, and I wanted to try it. I never really got the chance a few years later when I was with my exboyfriend. There was something in him that responded to that something in me. We talked about what I liked and wanted and what he liked and wanted. I guess what it came down to was that I had found the only man I had ever met who was more turned on then disgusted with my ideas. It was great I got to explore a side of me with him that no one had ever seen before. I loved it, he well... enjoyed making me squirm and he learned to hold me after if I was still crying and how to calm me down. He pushed me to explore, but only as far as he could ya know? And when that ended....... I found that I am constantly wanting more kink in any relationship I have, and the guys...well.... they are not up to learning, or even liking that side of me.

 

[lne_iii]

Heh...well...

Ever since I've known that I could be turned on...the strangest things have done it for me...

Tickling people (other than family obviously...)
Glasses
Shoulders

Just...almost random things.

I've had pretty much unmonitored access to the internet since age 11.
So of course, I discovered the world of pornography. Alot of places that I went to had stuff seemingly at random, and so I discovered BDSM stuff. Been hooked ever since. It hasn't been but within the last year that I've actually been able to practice some of the things I've seen/read about...but it's of course even more thrilling to do than it is to watch.

I've always been drawn to things that were odd/different...you know? And so, even in porn I've always been a bit different from most of my friends. They don't like to watch it, but it's amusing to them to hear the stories hehe.

Also, thinking about it, when I was much younger...our neighborhood had almost as many girls as we did boys, in fact I think they outnumbered us. So we always ended up playing "house" and such...and to make it more dramatic/interesting...someone always ended up being "kidnapped" etc...(ie taken a few feet away and 'tied up' heh...believe it or not, all of the girls volunteered for this...) ...and though at the time I didn't know what the weird feeling WAS at the time, but something about it excited me. It all makes alot more sense now.

 

[High-Tied]

Not really sure when I realized it. Must've been a gradual progression.

 

[swetnsazzy]

Like Angelsrose I realized I was different at a very early age - younger than Angelsrose. I was about 11 and the library around the corner from my home had a free book exchange. I took to "taking" epic romance novels and discovered that that I loved the scenes where the woman was being "taken" by the man. It got to where I would go straight to those scenes in the books instead of reading the rest of the novel. By 12 I was masturbating on a daily basis and by 13 I discovered the book "Virgins"... all I can say is WOW. But to be honest, I was rather scared of those feelings until I met a man when I was about 22 who didn't "balk" at my strong sexual desires and slightly different cravings (I positively yearned to be taken and used). With him guiding me, I realized my true submissive nature.

 

[papilllon]

Castle Realm

I realized I wanted something a bit different when I discovered the Castle Realm web site. Some of it seemed just so right... It's not exactly what I'm looking for yet though and I think I'm probably more a "Taken in hand" kind of girl... I need a bit of D/S in my life but without the toys, the sm and many aspects of a bdsm relationship...

A very short relationship with a Dominant helped me pinpoint more exactly what it is I want and don't want. It's still a work in progress because understanding what it is I need is not as simple as I thought it would be. But hey, life is a journey!

papillon

 

[O'Mac]

When did you first recognize that you were...different? What lead you to recognize this?

Different? Different to who? Different to what particular demographic? I fail to understand why some would think there is some great social divide between those who practise BDSM and those who do not.

But anyhoo, to answer your question: I was 24 and had was in my first serious/stable relationship. She liked to be tied up and spanked. I was open to the idea. Over time, I just gained a larger interest and to this day I'm still researching and finding out more about the lifestyle and what my role is in it.

 

[MechaBlade]

When did you first recognize that you were...different? What lead you to recognize this?

I'll tell my story later, but I will say that I recognized my submissive nature when I was quite young...and it frightened the hell out of me.

However; I'm more interested in hearing your responses, right now.

As for scat, asking when I first recognized it is like asking when I first recognized I had toes. I always have had it and, deep down, I assumed every guy, or at least most guys, felt the same way. I didn't realize it was a "kink," I just knew I got happy and horny when I thought about girls shitting and that, because it was "dirty" you didn't talk about it in front of polite company, just like fart jokes.

One pivotal point towards my realization that I really was different from other guys came when a friend told me in 3rd or 4th grade that he made erections go away (a trick that might come in handy when you're giving a presentation to the class) by thinking of a hot girl taking a huge dump. I didn't grasp the concept of it as a fetish (since I barely grasped the concept of "fetish" in general) until I found scat porn on niche fetish websites sometime during junior high.

The origin and realization of the taboo of my humiliation fetish is similar.

The realization of most of my other fetishes was gradual, I just searched for what I liked. I have no idea when I realized I should be a dom. It came as a gradual realization that I liked male-dominant female-submissive stories and I learned gradually what a dom was. I didn't picture myself, however, as a dom until about March of 2004. I had always assumed that I wasn't a dom because I didn't have any experience dominating. I realized in 2004, that experience doesn't define a dom; personality and desire does. I also realized that doms can have vanilla relationships.

 

[MechaBlade]

Different to what particular demographic? I fail to understand why some would think there is some great social divide between those who practise BDSM and those who do not.

From non-BDSM practicers.

There is no great social divide, but there is a clear preferential divide.

 

[FurryFury]

I think I first realized I was a little different when I started stealing my moms erotica books at age 16. I hadn't ever had an orgasm before so I jus got turned on and read them. I didn't quite get the whole masterbation thing as of then. I kept stealing them and reading them, and the only parts where I got turned on was when the charector in the story was humilaited, spanked, forced ect... I mean it seemed like fun, and I wanted to try it. I never really got the chance a few years later when I was with my exboyfriend. There was something in him that responded to that something in me. We talked about what I liked and wanted and what he liked and wanted. I guess what it came down to was that I had found the only man I had ever met who was more turned on then disgusted with my ideas. It was great I got to explore a side of me with him that no one had ever seen before. I loved it, he well... enjoyed making me squirm and he learned to hold me after if I was still crying and how to calm me down. He pushed me to explore, but only as far as he could ya know? And when that ended....... I found that I am constantly wanting more kink in any relationship I have, and the guys...well.... they are not up to learning, or even liking that side of me.

I didn't recognize it then but I did kinky things with my Barbie's. I stole my Dad's porn and read it. All my fantasies were of rape, humiliation and objectification from at least 12 years on and possibly earlier.

Fury

 

[ObsidianRose]

Different? Different to who? Different to what particular demographic? I fail to understand why some would think there is some great social divide between those who practise BDSM and those who do not.

O'Mac...different from your perception of those around you. You must have been a much more socially well adjusted youngster than I was (seriously...more power to you), but I felt (whether or not it was true) that there coud never be anyone else who felt as I did. It is, as is most everything in life, all about perception.

The question wasn't meant as a commentary on the great social divide...it was a question of introspection.

 

[O'Mac]

O'Mac...different from your perception of those around you. You must have been a much more socially well adjusted youngster than I was (seriously...more power to you), but I felt (whether or not it was true) that there coud never be anyone else who felt as I did. It is, as is most everything in life, all about perception.

The question wasn't meant as a commentary on the great social divide...it was a question of introspection.

No worries, ObsidianRose. I understand what you mean now.

 

[ObsidianRose]

No worries, ObsidianRose. I understand what you mean now.

Was never a problem...but I certainly don't like the idea of offending anyone. Was just hoping to give some clarification.

Thanks for your response, by the way. I actually wish I had had no real self awareness about this issue until I was mature enough to handle it. Would have saved me a hell of a lot of fear. I thought I was a freak.

 

[Easy-Reader]

When did you first recognize that you were...different? What lead you to recognize this?

The realization that I had different tastes struck me while I was still in high school. Me and some friends had gotten together and were checking out some pornography (pretty sure it was a few playboys or perhaps hustlers).

While my friends ohh'd and ahh'd over every glossy page and airbrushed boob, I was left cold. For years prior, I had been sneaking online with my home computer and accessing far more interesting things. Photos showing women tied up, gagged, humiliated. Stories about incestuous families and the domination of women.

Having identified the when and how, I still wonder on the why. Everything in my upbringing said that these things were wrong. It went against equality, respect, normality. But still I looked and read. To this day I don't really know why I like the things I like.

 

[angelsrose]

I didn't recognize it then but I did kinky things with my Barbie's. I stole my Dad's porn and read it. All my fantasies were of rape, humiliation and objectification from at least 12 years on and possibly earlier.

Fury

Furry-
Barbies...lol.... I played with baries as well.... at a vey young age...one of my fav. things to play was barbie was a prositute... Ken would beat her up (now mind you my mother was in an abusive relatoinship)but how I came up with prostition at age 8? now that I think maybe had to do with watching 21 jump street. I still did it though....

 

[OzoneRed]

I remember having daydreams about tieing up one of my female classmates when I was 8 years old.

 

[O'Mac]

I remember having daydreams about tieing up one of my female classmates when I was 8 years old.

I remember when I was 8 wanting to play baseball all the time, homework was boring, girls were "icky", and that Rafael was by far the coolest Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.

 

[FurryFury]

Furry-
Barbies...lol.... I played with baries as well.... at a vey young age...one of my fav. things to play was barbie was a prositute... Ken would beat her up (now mind you my mother was in an abusive relatoinship)but how I came up with prostition at age 8? now that I think maybe had to do with watching 21 jump street. I still did it though....

Ken was pretty passive except for fucking everyone. The chicks tied each other up, and did the beating.

Fury

 

[sub38dd]

i was raped n found myself having multiple orgasms

 

[swetnsazzy]

i was raped n found myself having multiple orgasms

I don't respond to many posts - but this is my second response to this one board. I thought it this was interesting because I too was raped and it took me a long time to get over the shame of it. Not because I was raped but because I really enjoyed it. For the longest time I thought that there was something "wrong" with me for having had enjoyed it so much. I don't know if you had those same, or similar, thoughts/fears about it...

 

[FallenAngel3]

......

 

[FurryFury]

I don't respond to many posts - but this is my second response to this one board. I thought it this was interesting because I too was raped and it took me a long time to get over the shame of it. Not because I was raped but because I really enjoyed it. For the longest time I thought that there was something "wrong" with me for having had enjoyed it so much. I don't know if you had those same, or similar, thoughts/fears about it...

I came the first time I was raped and I married the guy so yes, I've had such thoughts but in my mind I made it out to be love and not rape for a loooong time.

Fury

I did the same thing with my Barbies at a young age. I remember being ashamed of it, but doing it anyways because I got some form of exciement out of it. I'm still not sure if it was the act itself, or the fear of getting caught. Who knows, maybe a little bit of both. As a teenager, I came to have an idea of what got me excited (being tied up, talked to dirty, etc...) and after hearing all my friends talk about their experiences and what got them excited I began to feel like there was something wrong with me. I always felt that I wanted to be submissive, but didn't find anyone that I was comfortable enough to share my fantasies with. I had one ex that I shared little bits to after a few years, but he was not comfortable with it. Then a little over a year ago I got with my current boyfriend, and it just clicked. We started out with me being the submissive one, but over time I have become the more dominant one, and I have really come to enjoy it. I have to admit it is liberating to be able to have my way with someone. Actually, it's not just that, but being able to truly be myself, explore, and find new ways to enjoy it all. In the last year, we have done many things that I never would have imagined before. I guess I'm still learning, finding myself sexually, and having the time of my life while doing it.

I'm SO happy for you! *HUGS* I have felt like I've been set free in the short time we've been exploring BDSM too!

(BTW Barbie's are just such nasty girls. Just saying . . . and I keep them bedside still.)

Fury