Asshat Moments

[OhMissScarlett]

No, not Precious Moments! I'm talking about something really assy you've done in public and maybe regretted later, or maybe not(as in my case).

Today, I was crossing the Super Hell-Mart parking lot with my little boy and a truck came speeding out of nowhere, right through the crosswalk. If I hadn't been being extra cautious, it would've killed us. In fact, it was going so fast that I couldn't make out the license plate!

Anyway, I screamed "SONOFAFUCKINGBITCH!!!" at the truck and a few other choice words in front of a huge crowd in said parking lot. Everyone stared at me, the Salvation Army bell ringer put her hand over her mouth...mothers covered their childrens ears. Oopsie! Yeah, the driver was lucky I was going in and not coming out, or I would've had something to throw. And I have an arm like Peyton Manning when I'm mad, motherfucker!

 

[ungenderless]

You were so NOT an asshat for doing that! I agree, he's lucky you didn't throw anything at him!

 

[The_Darkness]

I'm sure I've had my share....I'm a real prick if I don't think about what I'm saying/doing. I can't think of any major ones right now, though.

 

[TE999]

No, not Precious Moments! I'm talking about something really assy you've done in public and maybe regretted later, or maybe not(as in my case).

Today, I was crossing the Super Hell-Mart parking lot with my little boy and a truck came speeding out of nowhere, right through the crosswalk. If I hadn't been being extra cautious, it would've killed us. In fact, it was going so fast that I couldn't make out the license plate!

Anyway, I screamed "SONOFAFUCKINGBITCH!!!" at the truck and a few other choice words in front of a huge crowd in said parking lot. Everyone stared at me, the Salvation Army bell ringer put her hand over her mouth...mothers covered their childrens ears. Oopsie! Yeah, the driver was lucky I was going in and not coming out, or I would've had something to throw. And I have an arm like Peyton Manning when I'm mad, motherfucker!

Hell-Mart (snicker), good one.

Might I recommend carrying a brick with you for future encounters such as this.

Seriously, there are a lot of shitty drivers out there, which is why I'm extra cautious in parking lots.

They'll back right over your bod and never say boo.

Especially where I live.

A bunch of snowbird q-tips wheeling Buicks and Benzes.

They don't drive, they aim.

And don't get me started on drunken rednecks.

Let's hope the cops got that bastard down the road.

Fortunately, you guys are ok.

Merry Christmas.

Peace.

 

[English Lady]

I was about 9/10 at the time, mysister about 6. We were crossing the road at the end of our street and this van tried to run the red light (we think) and was very, very close to running my sister and I over, we stepped back as mum grabbed us. T he van then had to stop to let traffic past.

She went ape shit -I mean, she was scary. It was summer so the van driver had his window open and my mum reached in and had this guy by the collar of his t-shirt and she called him every name in the book and cursed him with many nasty things.

My sister and I were so embarassed...but thinking back now, I'm amazed the big bloke idn't just slap her -he was scared witless though!

You know, if something similar happened to my baby -I'd probably do the same!!!

 

[cloudy]

When I worked for JCPenney, a well-known shoplifter came into my department, and bought something...not sure what, but she accused my merchandise assistant of not giving her all her change back (of stealing, basically). I went out there to count the drawer, etc., and the woman had gone beyond pain in the ass straight into me counting under my breath to keep from losing my temper.

I looked over at my assistant, and she had tears running down her face. I swear, I saw red...see, she was probably the most honest person I've ever known, and the poor thing's house had completely burned down like maybe a week earlier. She was coming apart because of this stupid, theiving bitch.

I reached over the counter grabbed the woman by the neck of her shirt, and jerked her towards me, and I can't remember what I said, but it must've been rough, because she gave up the sham, and left.

My boss had to "talk" to me about the incident, but fortunately, he was very cool, and completely understood....even told me under his breath that he probably would've reacted the same way.

I shouldn't have done it, but I can't say that if it happened again, I wouldn't do the same thing.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Hell-Mart (snicker), good one.

Might I recommend carrying a brick with you for future encounters such as this.

Seriously, there are a lot of shitty drivers out there, which is why I'm extra cautious in parking lots.

They'll back right over your bod and never say boo.

Especially where I live.

A bunch of snowbird q-tips wheeling Buicks and Benzes.

They don't drive, they aim.

And don't get me started on drunken rednecks.

Let's hope the cops got that bastard down the road.

Fortunately, you guys are ok.

Merry Christmas.

Peace.

This was some kid, probably a disgruntled employee. Yes, thankfully we are okay. Lol, drunken rednecks. We live in a drunken redneck paradise. It's more like a sport than a pastime around here, the drunk driving.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

I was about 9/10 at the time, mysister about 6. We were crossing the road at the end of our street and this van tried to run the red light (we think) and was very, very close to running my sister and I over, we stepped back as mum grabbed us. T he van then had to stop to let traffic past.

She went ape shit -I mean, she was scary. It was summer so the van driver had his window open and my mum reached in and had this guy by the collar of his t-shirt and she called him every name in the book and cursed him with many nasty things.

My sister and I were so embarassed...but thinking back now, I'm amazed the big bloke idn't just slap her -he was scared witless though!

You know, if something similar happened to my baby -I'd probably do the same!!!

Your mom totally rocks! Yeah, I think being a mother makes you instinctively want to protect your family, even if that means choking some asshat.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

When I worked for JCPenney, a well-known shoplifter came into my department, and bought something...not sure what, but she accused my merchandise assistant of not giving her all her change back (of stealing, basically). I went out there to count the drawer, etc., and the woman had gone beyond pain in the ass straight into me counting under my breath to keep from losing my temper.

I looked over at my assistant, and she had tears running down her face. I swear, I saw red...see, she was probably the most honest person I've ever known, and the poor thing's house had completely burned down like maybe a week earlier. She was coming apart because of this stupid, theiving bitch.

I reached over the counter grabbed the woman by the neck of her shirt, and jerked her towards me, and I can't remember what I said, but it must've been rough, because she gave up the sham, and left.

My boss had to "talk" to me about the incident, but fortunately, he was very cool, and completely understood....even told me under his breath that he probably would've reacted the same way.

I shouldn't have done it, but I can't say that if it happened again, I wouldn't do the same thing.

Hahaha. Right on. That chick picked the wrong warrior/salesperson to mess with.

 

[Trinique_Fire]

I had an upset stomach the other night at work. Thursday, I think. I was supposed to be loading smalls bags on the belt and scanning packages for S&H. I had to go to the bathroom. I ran and found the Smalls area asst. manager and told him, bluntly, that bags were piling up on the smalls belt but I had to go to the bathroom. Now. He said okay.

Sprinting out of the smalls area, I'm stopped by my supervisor who's normally a pretty nice guy, and due to my temper, has learned to mostly just let me be. He pointed at the belt and said

"What the hell are you doing? You've got bags backed up all the way back to the bins!"

In certain situations, I've learned to stay calm when I'm mad.

I stopped, turned, and said,

"Matt, I have an upset stomach. In fact, I have diarrhea. Unless you want me to shit all over the place while I load bags, I'll just go to the bathroom. If you don't send someone down to clear the bags, that's on Mark, because I already let him know. Now, do I shit at your feet or do I shit in the toilet?"

My supervisor? He looked at me, eyes wide, disbelieving. Me? I sprinted into the women's room.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

I had an upset stomach the other night at work. Thursday, I think. I was supposed to be loading smalls bags on the belt and scanning packages for S&H. I had to go to the bathroom. I ran and found the Smalls area asst. manager and told him, bluntly, that bags were piling up on the smalls belt but I had to go to the bathroom. Now. He said okay.

Sprinting out of the smalls area, I'm stopped by my supervisor who's normally a pretty nice guy, and due to my temper, has learned to mostly just let me be. He pointed at the belt and said

"What the hell are you doing? You've got bags backed up all the way back to the bins!"

In certain situations, I've learned to stay calm when I'm mad.

I stopped, turned, and said,

"Matt, I have an upset stomach. In fact, I have diarrhea. Unless you want me to shit all over the place while I load bags, I'll just go to the bathroom. If you don't send someone down to clear the bags, that's on Mark, because I already let him know. Now, do I shit at your feet or do I shit in the toilet?"

My supervisor? He looked at me, eyes wide, disbelieving. Me? I sprinted into the women's room.

Oh, that's great. Talking about bathroom stuff or female problems is always the deal breaker for managers. Watch them run the other way, lol.

 

[Trinique_Fire]

Oh, that's great. Talking about bathroom stuff or female problems is always the deal breaker for managers. Watch them run the other way, lol.

I have a million more Fed Ex asshat moments that I could share. I keep the managers and supervisors on their toes. One time Matt was even on his feet in the control room, ready to sprint out of there and tackle me or something because it looked like I was going to beat down a co-worker....

 

[OhMissScarlett]

I have a million more Fed Ex asshat moments that I could share. I keep the managers and supervisors on their toes. One time Matt was even on his feet in the control room, ready to sprint out of there and tackle me or something because it looked like I was going to beat down a co-worker....

LOL. At least they can't complain that it's boring.

 

[Trinique_Fire]

LOL. At least they can't complain that it's boring.

They sure can't. I think I give them migraines though. Combine me with the noise in that place when the building runs, and all the delays, problems, and jams that happen nightly.

I'm five handfuls, lemme tell you.

 

[AppleBiter]

No, not Precious Moments! I'm talking about something really assy you've done in public and maybe regretted later, or maybe not(as in my case).

Today, I was crossing the Super Hell-Mart parking lot with my little boy and a truck came speeding out of nowhere, right through the crosswalk. If I hadn't been being extra cautious, it would've killed us. In fact, it was going so fast that I couldn't make out the license plate!

Anyway, I screamed "SONOFAFUCKINGBITCH!!!" at the truck and a few other choice words in front of a huge crowd in said parking lot. Everyone stared at me, the Salvation Army bell ringer put her hand over her mouth...mothers covered their childrens ears. Oopsie! Yeah, the driver was lucky I was going in and not coming out, or I would've had something to throw. And I have an arm like Peyton Manning when I'm mad, motherfucker!

Have I told you lately that I love you? You're a woman after my own heart.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Have I told you lately that I love you? You're a woman after my own heart.

I now have a brick to take with me shopping.

 

[scheherazade_79]

When I was flying once, I thought I spotted some sellotape holding the plane's wing on, so I pressed the button to call the flight attendant and told her. Even though I was wrong, it caused widespread panic amongst those sitting around me.... and it was the only time I've ever flown KLM and not been offered seconds of the food

 

[SeaCat]

An Ahhshit Moment?

I have had way too many of them. Many of them wouldn't be believed by some here. (I have led a very active and interesting life for the past 40 years, too many people can't believe it because they haven't been there.)

I'll descibe two of them though.

One was a dive at a place called Three Tables in Hawaii. This is on the north shore of the Island that includes such places as Honolulu and Pearl Harbor. I had gone diving with my brother and a friend of his. I had been certified for roughly three weeks and this was my first warm water dive. The dive was absolutley incredible. How can I describe what it was like to dive in warm water after training in the cold waters of New England? We had finished the dive and swam back to shore, only to come out on a beach about half a mile from where we had parked. We walked up onto the beach, in all our gear, only to be confronted by a sea of naked bodies. Ahhshit, we had found the local Nude Beach. (My brother was embarrased but I didn't mind it in the least. )

A classic though was last year when my parents were over at our place. My father had gotten bored and wandered inside as I slow coolked some chicken for dinner. When I carried the chicken in I found him sitting on the couch readin one of my stories. AhShit! Instead of jumping all over my case for my writing Porn he instead critiqued the story. He gave me some ideas which I included, and which I tink improved he story.

Cat

 

[TE999]

I now have a brick to take with me shopping.

Glad I could help, Miz' Ska'lett.

Aim for the side windows, they're thinner.

Peace.