ASSHAT AWARDS: Even more of the Best of the Worst PMs & emails received

[seela]

An abridged version, he sent many, many more insane messages:

Him: Hi, love your *beep*. I'd love it if you could spank me real hard, just gimme pain, so much pain
Me: Sorry, I'm not really interested in a dynamic like that
Him: But you say on your profile that you're into BDSM, gimme all the pains dammit!
Me: I'm not interested, thanks. Happy travels on this crazy site!
Him: Whatever, you're too young for me anyways and BDSM is a load of crap
(ten minutes pass)
Him: But if you want to spank me, you know where to find me
(five minutes pass)
Him: The real dominants are heterosexual vanilla women who refuse to give their husbands what they want, BDSM people are just pretending, only heterosexual vanilla women are truly dominant, and nazis were, too, on the concentration camps, so vanilla wives and nazis. You're just role playing and wanting to please men, btw in my fantasies I'm a young, handsome nazi officer

*cue weird tirade about me not wanting to commit and how I should dominate my husband secretly because that's what I'll do eventually no matter how hard I try not to, because women suck and I'm a woman --- OR AM I??? Jury's out on that one, you can never be too sure on the internet*

(the next day)
Him: You got me so pissed off that I'm deleting my profile, congrats you finally broke me
[he deleted his profile]
(the next day)
[he reactivated his profile]
Him: I was a little hasty in deleting my profile, I just got so pissed off by this site. So would you like to exchange some contact info before I delete my profile again?
Me: No thanks, I'm really not interested. I hope you find what you're looking for here.
Him: I'm not looking for anything or anyone anyway because women are awful and BDSM is a hoax and I just want to argue with people. Here's my contact info just in case


What I've learned hanging by the dating pool is that if J and I ever break up, I'll have to spend the rest of my life alone because people are awful. Sorry, people.

Edit: I'm especially proud of breaking him and pissing him off without ever responding. That's a neat skill. My passive aggressive shutting up has leveled up!

 

[IrisAlthea]

Thanks for sharing!

Edit: I'm especially proud of breaking him and pissing him off without ever responding. That's a neat skill. My passive aggressive shutting up has leveled up!

See, he was right all along:

Him: The real dominants are heterosexual vanilla women who refuse to give

 

[Diosax]

An abridged version, he sent many, many more insane messages:

Him: Hi, love your *beep*. I'd love it if you could spank me real hard, just gimme pain, so much pain
Me: Sorry, I'm not really interested in a dynamic like that
Him: But you say on your profile that you're into BDSM, gimme all the pains dammit!
Me: I'm not interested, thanks. Happy travels on this crazy site!
Him: Whatever, you're too young for me anyways and BDSM is a load of crap
(ten minutes pass)
Him: But if you want to spank me, you know where to find me
(five minutes pass)
Him: The real dominants are heterosexual vanilla women who refuse to give their husbands what they want, BDSM people are just pretending, only heterosexual vanilla women are truly dominant, and nazis were, too, on the concentration camps, so vanilla wives and nazis. You're just role playing and wanting to please men, btw in my fantasies I'm a young, handsome nazi officer

*cue weird tirade about me not wanting to commit and how I should dominate my husband secretly because that's what I'll do eventually no matter how hard I try not to, because women suck and I'm a woman --- OR AM I??? Jury's out on that one, you can never be too sure on the internet*

(the next day)
Him: You got me so pissed off that I'm deleting my profile, congrats you finally broke me
[he deleted his profile]
(the next day)
[he reactivated his profile]
Him: I was a little hasty in deleting my profile, I just got so pissed off by this site. So would you like to exchange some contact info before I delete my profile again?
Me: No thanks, I'm really not interested. I hope you find what you're looking for here.
Him: I'm not looking for anything or anyone anyway because women are awful and BDSM is a hoax and I just want to argue with people. Here's my contact info just in case


What I've learned hanging by the dating pool is that if J and I ever break up, I'll have to spend the rest of my life alone because people are awful. Sorry, people.

Edit: I'm especially proud of breaking him and pissing him off without ever responding. That's a neat skill. My passive aggressive shutting up has leveled up!

Are men ok???

This is funny and all but this dude has serious problems and then those problems don't stay on lit. Disgusting!

 

[seela]

See, he was right all along:

Good point!

Are men ok???

This is funny and all but this dude has serious problems and then those problems don't stay on lit. Disgusting!

This wasn't on Lit but on a local site. But yeah, he seems somewhat troubled...

 

[IrisAlthea]

Are men ok???

I don’t think this individual is representative enough to be extrapolated to ”men”.

this dude has serious problems and then those problems don't stay on lit.

When I was in my early teens, my friends mom told us over tea that every third person you meet is an idiot. There are days when I think that is an overly conservative estimate.
As for what stays on Lit and what doesn’t, I think a lot of people come here to let go of their normal inhibitions and many seem to think the other people here don’t deserve to be treated with normal courtesy, so I would guess that some of these people might behave somewhat normal out there.
I’m not sure that is a comforting thought though.

 

[GabbyDebarres]

An abridged version, he sent many, many more insane messages:

<snip>

This is why I turned my messaging off. I have neither the desire or the time to deal with people like the one who messaged @seela

 

[ToPleaseHim]

My inbox being lit up right now by an abusive asshat.

Message 1:

I understand the abusive part. But I still want to know what made you the king of all things? Just because you don't approve doesn't make it wrong.

Message 2:

Well u suck. The time you called me a pedophile was wrong. You have no idea how old she was and it was stated that she was 18. Maybe u need to be suspended.

Message 3:

What a fuck u r

Message 4:

Absolute power corrupts absolutely

Message 5:

Give me ur boss’ name

Message 6:

How do I contact her? (Note: he is asking me this question via PM)

 

[melimelissa]

An abridged version, he sent many, many more insane messages:

Him: Hi, love your *beep*. I'd love it if you could spank me real hard, just gimme pain, so much pain
Me: Sorry, I'm not really interested in a dynamic like that
Him: But you say on your profile that you're into BDSM, gimme all the pains dammit!
Me: I'm not interested, thanks. Happy travels on this crazy site!
Him: Whatever, you're too young for me anyways and BDSM is a load of crap
(ten minutes pass)
Him: But if you want to spank me, you know where to find me
(five minutes pass)
Him: The real dominants are heterosexual vanilla women who refuse to give their husbands what they want, BDSM people are just pretending, only heterosexual vanilla women are truly dominant, and nazis were, too, on the concentration camps, so vanilla wives and nazis. You're just role playing and wanting to please men, btw in my fantasies I'm a young, handsome nazi officer

*cue weird tirade about me not wanting to commit and how I should dominate my husband secretly because that's what I'll do eventually no matter how hard I try not to, because women suck and I'm a woman --- OR AM I??? Jury's out on that one, you can never be too sure on the internet*

(the next day)
Him: You got me so pissed off that I'm deleting my profile, congrats you finally broke me
[he deleted his profile]
(the next day)
[he reactivated his profile]
Him: I was a little hasty in deleting my profile, I just got so pissed off by this site. So would you like to exchange some contact info before I delete my profile again?
Me: No thanks, I'm really not interested. I hope you find what you're looking for here.
Him: I'm not looking for anything or anyone anyway because women are awful and BDSM is a hoax and I just want to argue with people. Here's my contact info just in case


What I've learned hanging by the dating pool is that if J and I ever break up, I'll have to spend the rest of my life alone because people are awful. Sorry, people.

Edit: I'm especially proud of breaking him and pissing him off without ever responding. That's a neat skill. My passive aggressive shutting up has leveled up!

All I can say is
well done for persevering;
now take a deep breath

Méli

 

[IrisAlthea]

My inbox being lit up right now by an abusive asshat.

Message 1:

I understand the abusive part. But I still want to know what made you the king of all things? Just because you don't approve doesn't make it wrong.

Message 2:

Well u suck. The time you called me a pedophile was wrong. You have no idea how old she was and it was stated that she was 18. Maybe u need to be suspended.

Message 3:

What a fuck u r

Message 4:

Absolute power corrupts absolutely

Message 5:

Give me ur boss’ name

Message 6:

How do I contact her? (Note: he is asking me this question via PM)

That is a striking combo of histrionics and lack if knowledge of how this forum thing works.

I used to be baffled by how people stumble in here and start posing (that was a typo and should have been posting but it kind of turned out quite right, so I’m not changing it) without reading anything about what to post, any sticky or getting any feel for the place at all. Reminds me of those ”Sir, this is a Wendy’s” jokes.
Then I started noticing the same thing at work though: email bounced around to a half dozen people trying to get info that was already in that first message for example or a rather highranking official happily stating that he only ever read the first two lines of anything.

Not much to do but roll eyes wildly, ignore what you can and adapt to the rest.

It’s really sad that you have to deal with this extra batch of stupid, for your efforts as a mod though.
For what it’s worth, I really appreciate the work you put in.

 

[melimelissa]

That is a striking combo of histrionics and lack if knowledge of how this forum thing works.

I used to be baffled by how people stumble in here and start posing (that was a typo and should have been posting but it kind of turned out quite right, so I’m not changing it) without reading anything about what to post, any sticky or getting any feel for the place at all. Reminds me of those ”Sir, this is a Wendy’s” jokes.
Then I started noticing the same thing at work though: email bounced around to a half dozen people trying to get info that was already in that first message for example or a rather highranking official happily stating that he only ever read the first two lines of anything.

Not much to do but roll eyes wildly, ignore what you can and adapt to the rest.

It’s really sad that you have to deal with this extra batch of stupid, for your efforts as a mod though.
For what it’s worth, I really appreciate the work you put in.

i think I may have
a solution of sorts, though
some might enjoy it

Méli

 

[melimelissa]

• J▸Getting into any mischief today cutie?
• melimelissa▸uh huh
• J▸Naughty girl. You home alone tonight?
• melimelissa▸nuh huh
• J▸What’s my cutie wearing?
• melimelissa▸If you’re curious about what cutie's wear consider marks
• J▸What?
• melimelissa▸they are a unique symbol that represents a pony’s special talent or destiny in the magical world of My Little Pony. Each cutie mark is distinct and holds personal significance for the pony who bears it. For example, Rainbow Dash’s cutie mark is a multicolored lightning bolt, symbolizing her speed and agility, while "Fluttershy’s" cutie mark features three butterflies, reflecting her affinity for animals and kindness
• J▸lol
• J▸That is one hell of a response
• melimelissa▸I like to give full responses
• J▸Those little fingers been wandering? No fibbing…
• melimelissa▸Ah, the curious fingers, wandering like lost poets, seeking stories in the crevices of existence. They trace the edges of forgotten dreams, unraveling secrets whispered by ancient winds.
• J▸So hard to keep quiet when fingering, isn’t it?
• melimelissa▸mmm - each fingertip, a nomad on a quest for meaning, dances across the canvas of life. In the quiet of night, they tiptoe along moonbeams, brushing against stardust. They map constellations on skin, connecting freckles like celestial dots. Those little fingers, insatiable wanderers, weave tales of love and longing, etching memories into the tapestry of time. And when dawn breaks, they return—ink-stained and weary—bearing fragments of forgotten verses. They whisper to the heart, leaving imprints of wonder and wanderlust. So let them roam, those little fingers, for they are the scribes of the soul, chronicling our journey through the universe.
• J left the room.

 

[IrisAlthea]

• J▸Getting into any mischief today cutie?
• melimelissa▸uh huh
• J▸Naughty girl. You home alone tonight?
• melimelissa▸nuh huh
• J▸What’s my cutie wearing?
• melimelissa▸If you’re curious about what cutie's wear consider marks
• J▸What?
• melimelissa▸they are a unique symbol that represents a pony’s special talent or destiny in the magical world of My Little Pony. Each cutie mark is distinct and holds personal significance for the pony who bears it. For example, Rainbow Dash’s cutie mark is a multicolored lightning bolt, symbolizing her speed and agility, while "Fluttershy’s" cutie mark features three butterflies, reflecting her affinity for animals and kindness
• J▸lol
• J▸That is one hell of a response
• melimelissa▸I like to give full responses
• J▸Those little fingers been wandering? No fibbing…
• melimelissa▸Ah, the curious fingers, wandering like lost poets, seeking stories in the crevices of existence. They trace the edges of forgotten dreams, unraveling secrets whispered by ancient winds.
• J▸So hard to keep quiet when fingering, isn’t it?
• melimelissa▸mmm - each fingertip, a nomad on a quest for meaning, dances across the canvas of life. In the quiet of night, they tiptoe along moonbeams, brushing against stardust. They map constellations on skin, connecting freckles like celestial dots. Those little fingers, insatiable wanderers, weave tales of love and longing, etching memories into the tapestry of time. And when dawn breaks, they return—ink-stained and weary—bearing fragments of forgotten verses. They whisper to the heart, leaving imprints of wonder and wanderlust. So let them roam, those little fingers, for they are the scribes of the soul, chronicling our journey through the universe.
• J left the room.

It reads a bit like a poor telemarketer, trying to follow his script with a confusing prospective client.