ASSHAT AWARDS: Best of the Worst PMs and Emails Received

[ShyGuy68]

I don't know if I'm going to correct his grammar or just hole his boat beneath the waterline.

Darn it's good to have you back! Btw. I vote for both!

 

[snowy ciara]

Darn it's good to have you back! Btw. I vote for both!

You're so twisted.... (((Shy)))

 

[graceanne]

Hee! I'm back less than 24 hours and I have two derriere chapeaus in my inbox! Sadly, I can't post the first one because the writing style and ego make it too obvious to anyone who ventures into another lit forum, and I don't want to attract the individual over here...

Second one:



And then 10 minutes later, I get:



I don't know if I'm going to correct his grammar or just hole his boat beneath the waterline.

Wow.

Only you, girlfriend.

 

[snowy ciara]

Wow.

Only you, girlfriend.

I'm not the only nutjob magnet around these here parts...

 

[graceanne]

I'm not the only nutjob magnet around these here parts...

True. Satin has attracted some weirdo's.

 

[snowy ciara]

Troll, the other other white meat.

 

[FurryFury]

((FURRY)) I didn't think I showed up either! I didn't before! I should go check that out.

*HUG*

Maybe he just noticed you posting.

 

[Etoile]

snowy!!!

 

[snowy ciara]

(((Etoile!))) What a purty maiko you make!

 

[FurryFury]

(((Etoile!))) What a purty maiko you make!

Wow! I have avs turned off so I hadn't noticed!

Awesome.

FF

 

[Vixandra]

Got this today off of Collarme.com and oh someone needs help.

Hi Mistress i just found your profile and i love it.your one of the most gorgeous mistress
i have seen and i have a very special offer for you.Im am a very masochist slave whit
a very high tolerence to pain i have all kind of marks and scars on my body to prove it.
my offer is i would like a very hard beat up session.I would like you to kick my face
as hard as you can and also completaly crush and destroy my face under your feet and shoes.
I would like also that you destroy both of my testicule under your feet as well i would
like them to be useless at the end of the session.I know its a very extreme session i will
have a waiver sign and im ready to pay you 100000$ in cash up front before the session.i will
live with a cab after the session my personnal doctor will wait for me in my room and take
care of my injury.this will stay between us.

There's the whole SSC/RACK thing and the fact that someone cannot consent to abuse in California to think about.

 

[Etoile]

Got this today off of Collarme.com and oh someone needs help.




There's the whole SSC/RACK thing and the fact that someone cannot consent to abuse in California to think about.

Shoot, take the $100k and run!

 

[neci]

Shoot, take the $100k and run!

that would hurt.

 

[Vixandra]

Shoot, take the $100k and run!

I know, right? Damn these morals I somehow ended up with (I swear being raised by wolves would have been kinder and more consistent).

Instead of having nutcase wire it to my paypal account, I sent him a message saying he needed psychiatric help, because that's not healthy then put him on ignore. Not my job to save the idiots *repeats mantra*

 

[SirLeo]

Welcome back snowy!
What does mollycoddle mean anyway?

 

[FungiUg]

What does mollycoddle mean anyway?

Treat gently.

www.dictionary.com

 

[TypicalDeviant]

Just got this one from [redacted].

I have my own deivence I would love tio develop

thrilling.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Just got this one from [redacted].

I have my own deivence I would love tio develop

thrilling.

Yeah. My response - if I gave one - would likely be, "Go finish third grade spelling, grammar, et cetera, and then think about trying to communicate with literate human beings."

 

[TypicalDeviant]

I've never responded to PMs like that... I like to create an aura of mystery. hahahaha

 

[FloggingMolly]

your pics
Damn girl. I just want to shove my cock in between those big tits and up into that pouty little mouth of yours. Fucking your mouth while you're cuffed to that stool. Keep em cumming.

Yeah, likely.... not.

 

[unregistered]

 

[DVS]

"You seem like an intriguing young lady...I'd love to help you get on Santa's naughty list. Drop me a line if you'd like to converse (or do more). Looking forward to hearing from you soon."

Well, thanks, but no thanks. But, you know, I kinda like the line about Santa's naughty list. I bet that one actually works IRL.

That's a whole different meaning to the joke line "he only 'cums' once a year".

So, how does one get sex during the rest of the year? OK, I can see someone getting a kiss at midnight, New Years Eve, and on July 4th, maybe you can ask for a bang. You might also suggest that she gobble gobble on Thanksgiving Day, but seriously...what do you do for the rest of the year?

OK, I guess you could ask her to wear her birthday suit on birthdays?

 

[Aurantica]

that would hurt.

Good thing he has a high tolerance for pain! I've had my share of doozies too

 

[chy_girl]

Subject: hiyou

chy, hows you this saturday evening? What you doing on here and not going out? Then again Im on here and I aint going out... Damn LOL.

Anyway thought I would say hi and wondered if you were busy or if you wanted to chat? Let me know... speak soon (fingers crossed!)

Oh by the way im on msn and yahoo...

If you wanna chat add me, its the same address for both

basement wanker@hotmail.co.uk

Yeah, it's hell being on a locked ward isn't it?

I keep trying to convince the nurses that I just really need to go out for a drink and some dancing, but... Well, bite one guys dick and suddenly you're a sexual sadist of the bad kind. I mean, hell, it was kind of intense and all and there were some issues with that whole reattaching thing because of the fecal matter - but he never ONCE safeworded! And that gag wasn't that secure so that "But I couldn't talk..." thing is TOTAL bullshit!

Damn. I gotta go. It's time for noon meds.

Yes, I am in a bit of a mood. So beat me. No really, I'd love a nice hard flogging that goes on for an hour or two.

 

[FloggingMolly]

lmao, I love it