ASMR and BDSM

[t_platz4]

Although I despise acronyms, I could thing of no other way to title this post.

For the familiar, and experience this, ASMR stands for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response. It refers to a tingling sensation in the scalp and spine that some people get. I am one of those people.

How it relates to BDSM is that I have a theory that part of my submissive tendencies may be related to seeking the tingling sensation. I think that not having control, being teased sexually, privately 'humiliated', and whispered in my ear as I'm being pegged could induce both orgasm and ASMR at the same time.

I have come close to this, although I think orgasms are too powerful and negate both happening together.

I am hoping that this post finds others in a similar situation. Perhaps someone knows of an ASMR video that includes sexually stimulating material, particularly whispering domination.

 

[BiBunny]

I have nothing useful to add, but I Googled "ASMR," and I was like, "Holy shit, there's a name for that?"

I thought it was just me and that I was just weird.

Ok, now back to your regularly scheduled thread.

 

[SensationElla]

I too did not know that had a name. Learn something new everyday I guess.


However I think it'd be better during foreplay anyhow. Since, at least, for me it's largely anticipatory.

 

[t_platz4]

agreed, mostly

I think that is probably the most realistic expectation, ASMR during foreplay.

But it would be interesting to see if one could push the limits.

 

[ShyGuy1855]

I have nothing useful to add, but I Googled "ASMR," and I was like, "Holy shit, there's a name for that?"

I thought it was just me and that I was just weird.

Ok, now back to your regularly scheduled thread.

Ditto. Learn something new everyday.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Just reading the first post gave me echos of that very sensation. I don't know if Ive experienced it as strongly as OP seems to do. I'm jealous!

Isn't it what they call "Shivers up your spine?"

 

[IrisAlthea]

I have nothing useful to add, but I Googled "ASMR," and I was like, "Holy shit, there's a name for that?"

I thought it was just me and that I was just weird.

Ok, now back to your regularly scheduled thread.

Heh and I thought that everyone gets that tingly thing at times.

 

[Endless_Night]

Heh and I thought that everyone gets that tingly thing at times.

They don't?

Any light touch along my jaw, neck or ears sets me off. Plus, whispers.

 

[t_platz4]

Apparently, they don't

There was a This American Life program about this, and not everyone gets it.

For some reason, I'm shy about this, cause I've had it all my life and never mentioned it to anyone until after hearing the podcast in question. A co-worker was quite jealous since I found a way to work while enjoying these strange tingles.

Also, the sensation was triggered by a supervisor asking me to do her a favour, which happens from time to time. This is why I speculate that BDSM might be a trigger.

Another time from a sales pitch at a busy convention. It makes no sense, but is so pleasant.

 

[collector_guide]

I love an asmr YouTube video from time to time simply for the relaxation of it, but never really thought about in relation to bdsm. It's an interesting idea that submissive tendencies might trigger in a similar way to it. I've heard the term "sub space" kicked around for when submissives are 'in the zone.' Think that might be where in intersects mentally with asmr?

 

[fma20fma]

hi

what is asmr?

 

[Endless_Night]

I found it surprising that this was not just a normal physiological response, so not being able to sleep, I poked around.

No primary research, but there is a brief mention on a neurological blog which mentions S&M in conjunction with the phenomenon. (Don't get too excited! Just one sentence.)

http://theness.com/neurologicablog/index.php/asmr/

Here's the online research group mentioned. According to this group there are two types. One requires external stimulus, one does not. It looks as though you can volunteer*.

http://www.asmr-research.org

*I have no data as to the legitimacy of this group.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

what is asmr?

Read the second paragraph of the thread's OP.

 

[fma20fma]

hi

Read the second paragraph of the thread's OP.

how about comman people language. everybody is not a doctor or psychologist reading this thread.

 

[seela]

how about comman people language. everybody is not a doctor or psychologist reading this thread.

From the second paragraph:

It refers to a tingling sensation in the scalp and spine that some people get. I am one of those people.

I get them going down from my scalp to my arms when I do relaxation exercises. I've never known they have a name, and I've never thought they're the least bit enjoyable either. They feel itchy and definitely take away from the relaxation.

ETA: Do all other people who experience this like the tingle? Is there something seriously weird with my wiring? I mean, I don't care for orgasms for the most part either, so maybe I'm just really strange.

 

[DVS]

how about comman people language. everybody is not a doctor or psychologist reading this thread.

Why don't you Google it, like others in this thread have?

 

[DVS]

I really don't understand this. Maybe it's a submissive thing? I found several ASMR videos and frankly, I thought they were all boring. Someone with a microphone turned up very loud and whispering in a slow cadence, enunciating every word so you hear their lips smack with each formulation of words?

And one video showed a guy looking into a box that had a bunch of small items in it. The whole video was him choosing the box from a group of other boxes, slowly opening the box and then selecting each item from within the box, whispering about each, while he almost fondled it.

People find this interesting? OK, I'm not trying to discount this, if it is something that thrills some people. And I'm not trying to connect it with BDSM at this point. Maybe I'm just trying to understand it. It must be something worth exploring, with so many videos being produced for it.

Being a musician with some very sensitive microphones and several video cameras, I could go into business, if I could just make sense of it.

 

[t_platz4]

Maybe not the same thing

From the second paragraph:


I get them going down from my scalp to my arms when I do relaxation exercises. I've never known they have a name, and I've never thought they're the least bit enjoyable either. They feel itchy and definitely take away from the relaxation.

ETA: Do all other people who experience this like the tingle? Is there something seriously weird with my wiring? I mean, I don't care for orgasms for the most part either, so maybe I'm just really strange.

It is possible that you are describing something else. ASMR is generally a very pleasant sensation. Not really itchy, although maybe sometimes.

People who have it seem to identify pretty quickly with it when described.

I have been triggered by a certain salesman doing his pitch. It was unexpected and when I came to the convention the following year, I sought him out. He was selling video lights well beyond my capacity to afford. This was before I learnt that there were other people had described it. Most of us don't seem to have mentioned it prior to 2006 or somewhere in there.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I really don't understand this. Maybe it's a submissive thing? I found several ASMR videos and frankly, I thought they were all boring. Someone with a microphone turned up very loud and whispering in a slow cadence, enunciating every word so you hear their lips smack with each formulation of words?

And one video showed a guy looking into a box that had a bunch of small items in it. The whole video was him choosing the box from a group of other boxes, slowly opening the box and then selecting each item from within the box, whispering about each, while he almost fondled it.

People find this interesting? OK, I'm not trying to discount this, if it is something that thrills some people. And I'm not trying to connect it with BDSM at this point. Maybe I'm just trying to understand it. It must be something worth exploring, with so many videos being produced for it.

Being a musician with some very sensitive microphones and several video cameras, I could go into business, if I could just make sense of it.

I have an impression it's the kind of thing you could do very well.
We need to find you some test subjects!

 

[IrisAlthea]

From the second paragraph:


I get them going down from my scalp to my arms when I do relaxation exercises. I've never known they have a name, and I've never thought they're the least bit enjoyable either. They feel itchy and definitely take away from the relaxation.

ETA: Do all other people who experience this like the tingle? Is there something seriously weird with my wiring? I mean, I don't care for orgasms for the most part either, so maybe I'm just really strange.

I think it feels uncomfortable when I don't want the feeling, if that makes any sense?
Like if someone I'm uncomfortable with has that kind of voice.
People lipsmacking when they are eating or talking make me want to slap them.

I really don't understand this. Maybe it's a submissive thing? I found several ASMR videos and frankly, I thought they were all boring. Someone with a microphone turned up very loud and whispering in a slow cadence, enunciating every word so you hear their lips smack with each formulation of words?

And one video showed a guy looking into a box that had a bunch of small items in it. The whole video was him choosing the box from a group of other boxes, slowly opening the box and then selecting each item from within the box, whispering about each, while he almost fondled it.

People find this interesting? OK, I'm not trying to discount this, if it is something that thrills some people. And I'm not trying to connect it with BDSM at this point. Maybe I'm just trying to understand it. It must be something worth exploring, with so many videos being produced for it.

Being a musician with some very sensitive microphones and several video cameras, I could go into business, if I could just make sense of it.

For example, a lot of those videos are just totally stupid and I feel embarassed for them.

 

[t_platz4]

That's the thing…

The videos are often very silly. I have great respect for anyone able to produce them.

But if you check the comments on the relevant YouTube channels, you find huge fans over what does seem ridiculous videos. If you don't respond to ASMR triggers, then it seems simply stupid. This is a reason that this phenomena hasn't been studied scientifically much if at all.

I certain do feel silly when my girlfriend finds me watching a video of some pretty lady role playing an eye doctor exam. There isn't anything remotely pornographic about it, other than I'm blissed out in a sort of trance.

Clearly, I don't mention it to many people.

If you have a binaural mic and just the right sort of whispery voice, there might be a market for it.

I still haven't met anyone else in real life who admits to this though.

 

[DVS]

The videos are often very silly. I have great respect for anyone able to produce them.

But if you check the comments on the relevant YouTube channels, you find huge fans over what does seem ridiculous videos. If you don't respond to ASMR triggers, then it seems simply stupid. This is a reason that this phenomena hasn't been studied scientifically much if at all.

I certain do feel silly when my girlfriend finds me watching a video of some pretty lady role playing an eye doctor exam. There isn't anything remotely pornographic about it, other than I'm blissed out in a sort of trance.

Clearly, I don't mention it to many people.

If you have a binaural mic and just the right sort of whispery voice, there might be a market for it.

I still haven't met anyone else in real life who admits to this though.

So, you're saying if I find the videos stupid, I don't have the triggers for ASMR? That would at least make sense to me. I didn't see any of them that weren't at least boring and one guy's whispering was rather annoying.

And I'd guess there are some people who make these videos assuming they have the knack for it and don't? But, I went to several different links and didn't see a thing I thought was the least bit stimulating.

One thing I did notice from watching one video. If you've seen the movie "to Kill a Mockingbird", do you remember that first scene with the opening credits on it? It's showing the box of things Boo Radley had put in the tree for Scout and Jem. Other than the girl humming louder than a whisper, that scene seemed similar to something I saw in that one ASMR video.

I do have some very sensitive as well as expensive microphones. Like I said, I could go into business, if I just understood this. But, I don't.

 

[Netzach]

I think that the ASMR part overlaps "BDSM bottom" in the venn diagram, but that there's also a large part of the circles that may not overlap. My qualities as a BDSM bottom are pretty meh, but I got the other part covered.

I find the combination of whispering and trying consciously to stimulate my response in a scene often irritating as hell - but I love a random vid chick talking about her hairbrush in low tones while fondling the bristles or whatever, and I would get strange tingles when certain profs lectured (regardless of any sexual attraction or repulsion)

 

[tekgirl]

I watch ASMR videos. I love them. They help me relax and I often fall asleep before the video is even over. I used to watch Bob Ross, The Joy of Painting, when I got home from school as a kid. I always got tingles and found it entrancing. Watching The French Chef with Julia Child was another one. I still watch her show. Watching her cook did the same for me as watching Ross paint. There was no background noise, just them doing their work and I loved it. And I have submissive tendencies so I think it's an interesting theory.

 

[Netzach]

So, you're saying if I find the videos stupid, I don't have the triggers for ASMR? That would at least make sense to me. I didn't see any of them that weren't at least boring and one guy's whispering was rather annoying.

And I'd guess there are some people who make these videos assuming they have the knack for it and don't? But, I went to several different links and didn't see a thing I thought was the least bit stimulating.

One thing I did notice from watching one video. If you've seen the movie "to Kill a Mockingbird", do you remember that first scene with the opening credits on it? It's showing the box of things Boo Radley had put in the tree for Scout and Jem. Other than the girl humming louder than a whisper, that scene seemed similar to something I saw in that one ASMR video.

I do have some very sensitive as well as expensive microphones. Like I said, I could go into business, if I just understood this. But, I don't.

A lot of ASMR vids are overkill. Shut up and rummage gently through your box and I might get the phenomenon.