Ask a MtF TG a question

[stickygirl]

Hi Sticky, I hope you dont mind this question and please excuse my naivety. Was chatting with a GF last night, we got on the subject of trans people somehow and she mentioned she had a close friend she used to work with, a Filipino, who did a full M to F transition. We both wondered if she is now able to have full penetrative sex?

Hi Don't assume that full transition requires surgery - many can't for medical reasons and others don't mind keeping a penis. There are a couple of types of genital surgery and variations within those, depending on the techniques and skills of the surgeon.

A simple cosmetic surgery removes the penis and testicles; creates a clitoris by tucking what remains of the penis back into the body in the appropriate place; then closes the surgery in a way to leave the familiar labia mounds. This means the person doesn't have the extra care/risk in having a vagina created.

A vaginoplasty would include the above and then use one of several methods to create a vagina, that has sufficient depth for full penetrative sex, which is what you were asking. It is a major surgery that requires months to recover from and then needs quite a bit of after care to ensure the vaginal depth is not lost as the body heals.

 

[stickygirl]

how did it feel when a stranger called you ma'am or miss when you were in public for the first time as a female.

I was quite young when this first happened. I hadn't taken any steps to transition at that point and was still figuring out who I was. I was a bit slow when it happened in a shop - I think his words were something like "... and what can I do for you two young ladies?" I was tight with my sister, so she didn't correct him but we exchanged looks.

How did it feel? Empowering, affirming, comfortable, correct, magical and exciting.

As I got older and male puberty started to poison me, it happened less often and it felt more of a fight to be acknowledged with the correct pronouns. I'd hear people hesitate when they were addressing me; they'd get it wrong; they'd correct themselves - the whole embarrassing clusterfuck. It was difficult to not be angry and hurt. I had to keep reminding myself that strangers were (mostly) not being vindictive or mean - they just guessed wrong.

So once I was older and transitioning, it felt a relief that my hard work was, finally, paying off.

 

[stickygirl]

Fun fact
I was chatting via PM a few days ago with a cis-gender woman, who mentioned she'd like a penis for a day - just to see what it was like. She mentioned about the convenience of taking a pee when you have a dick and asked if it was something I missed.

On reflection, I'd say 'Yes' if I was in one of those awkward public settings and there were no bushes to hide behind. If you have a dick you only need a tree or a car door to make show of modesty. I've sat to take a pee as long as I can remember - certainly at home. If I had to pee to fit it socially, then I would.

To my mind, taking a pee isn't a gender thing - it's a physical one. Men and women aren't defined by how they pee and I think most men feel sorry for women that doing something so necessary means having to get their ass out in public. I find it quite touching that, individually, men will be quite gallant in trying help in some way, like standing guard. I guess a guy will switch into being protective. A crowd of men act differently.

 

[Asian_Flower]

Hi Don't assume that full transition requires surgery - many can't for medical reasons and others don't mind keeping a penis. There are a couple of types of genital surgery and variations within those, depending on the techniques and skills of the surgeon.

A simple cosmetic surgery removes the penis and testicles; creates a clitoris by tucking what remains of the penis back into the body in the appropriate place; then closes the surgery in a way to leave the familiar labia mounds. This means the person doesn't have the extra care/risk in having a vagina created.

A vaginoplasty would include the above and then use one of several methods to create a vagina, that has sufficient depth for full penetrative sex, which is what you were asking. It is a major surgery that requires months to recover from and then needs quite a bit of after care to ensure the vaginal depth is not lost as the body heals.

Thank you for the reply. That is very informative.

 

[AlexBailey]

To my mind, taking a pee isn't a gender thing - it's a physical one. Men and women aren't defined by how they pee and I think most men feel sorry for women that doing something so necessary means having to get their ass out in public. I find it quite touching that, individually, men will be quite gallant in trying help in some way, like standing guard. I guess a guy will switch into being protective. A crowd of men act differently.

My wife and I were just talking about the issue. When we first got together some 20+ years ago, she didn't realize I would sit just to pee, she'd never known a guy to sit unless they had other business. She later admitted that she was confused and impressed that I was so confident and clean every time. Lol. Once she knew the truth she thought it was the strangest thing that I would not take advantage of the equipment I had to stand whenever possible.

I wore a kilt while hiking on a busy trail a few weeks ago and she laughed her ass off when I squatted to pee. Then she stepped off the edge of the trail and whipped out her 'go girl' (a specially designed funnel) so she could pee standing up; a full reversal of the norms.

 

[coati]

My wife and I were just talking about the issue. When we first got together some 20+ years ago, she didn't realize I would sit just to pee, she'd never known a guy to sit unless they had other business. She later admitted that she was confused and impressed that I was so confident and clean every time. Lol. Once she knew the truth she thought it was the strangest thing that I would not take advantage of the equipment I had to stand whenever possible.

I wore a kilt while hiking on a busy trail a few weeks ago and she laughed her ass off when I squatted to pee. Then she stepped off the edge of the trail and whipped out her 'go girl' (a specially designed funnel) so she could pee standing up; a full reversal of the norms.

Anybody who regularly cleans standard toilets and the floor/wall around a standard toilet knows that men spray all over the place when they stand. After all, it's urine, which does not have the viscosity of 30-weight oil. Just out of common courtesy, standing should be reserved by men for urinals or for outdoors.

I sometimes work long hours in remote areas of the desert with mixed gender field crews, and we always give each other whatever degree of privacy we need to stand or squat down, even when the only cover is creosote bush.

 

[AlexBailey]

I have a question for you. It seems to me that the majority of transgender women would like to have bottom surgery. I don’t know if that’s true - it’s just my impression. There are a few like my girlfriend who are perfectly happy with what they have. Do you have any ideas why this might be so? If you are a woman, wanting a vagina seems “normal” to me? Why would a woman be content to have a penis?

I hope you don't mind if I chime in on this for a mo...

I'm non-binary and married to a woman but I consider myself to be on the 'trans-spectrum', so I may not be the person whose opinion you want. I offer this only as my own perspective:

I present as mostly male. If I were able to present as female as well as I did when I was younger I would probably present as female full time now. I feel more myself in that roll, I like the social differences both subtle and not so subtle which have nothing to do with what I have under my skirt.

Although I often imagine and fantasize about having breasts and a vagina, I also like the body that I have. I am physically slightly smaller than average for a guy and on the large side for a woman but I am also quite strong. I got strong through physical activity, not from working out, so I'm not all ripped and buff. I'd love to have more of a female form but as long as I take care of myself I feel quite pretty, and although it's been a while, I have been told that I am... even on occasion by straight men.

Sexually I am pan. I care far more about the person and the chemistry than I do about who has what, though I am definitely attracted to X Y and Z.

I'd be delighted to be able to pass full-time as a woman yet keep my cock.

 

[stickygirl]

I have a question for you. It seems to me that the majority of transgender women would like to have bottom surgery. I don’t know if that’s true - it’s just my impression. There are a few like my girlfriend who are perfectly happy with what they have. Do you have any ideas why this might be so? If you are a woman, wanting a vagina seems “normal” to me? Why would a woman be content to have a penis?

Okay, phewee - this'll take some unpacking.

Firstly, you're impression may be wrong because I'm not aware of any official surveys and besides, what trans woman would publicise their wish to not have surgery, when having surgery is a much better news story? So the reporting is, I suspect, skewed.

Then we get into personal choices v. societal pressure, or what I want v. what people expect of me/women.
That pressure will vary, depending on cultural setting. In the West there is a huge pressure on all women to conform to impossible expectations, so clearly having a penis isn't going to match. I'll take a guess at saying trans women who decide to keep their penis out of choice are likely to be rebels: strong minded, "fuck 'em and their patriarchy". If not that then...

• They can't have surgery for any number of medical reasons.
• They can't afford it.
• They're on a long waiting list, like maybe 5 or 6 years.
• Fear

So there's plenty of reasons for not having surgery. In the West you'll have to sell the idea (compromise) to yourself, or else... Or else, there's a fair chance you'll kill yourself. Maybe you convince yourself by repeating some of these negatives ->

Having a penis isn't so bad because

• I don't get cystitis or thrush
• I'm into topping.
• I don't like swimming.
• I don't mind using gaffer tape on my genitals when I go out.
• I have a natural reflex to cover my groin with a purse or a casual sweater or baggy pants when I step outside.

I'm not familiar with non-western cultures, but ours is entrenched in the binary and the patriarchy. Penis=man=power. Vagina=woman=weak.

Seriously - there are a million reasons one way or another. Some of them derive from external pressures, some internal ones. Working out what is the best compromise is down to the individual, because it is a compromise - there are no magic wands. Sorry that there is no straight forward answer

 

[stickygirl]

My wife and I were just talking about the issue. ~snip~ whipped out her 'go girl' (a specially designed funnel) so she could pee standing up; a full reversal of the norms.

Pretty much what Coati said. Men pee everywhere and it's gross.

I had to bite my lip a while ago when I was listening to a convo with my cousins who were criticising the dynamic of a friend's marriage "I bet she even makes him sit to pee." ... sometimes it's best to say nothing and I decided it was one of those!

 

[stickygirl]

By all means, chime in! I am interested in hearing what people have to say. Although my girlfriend wants breast implants, that’s as far as it goes. She is very happy with her natural equipment.

Implants, implants. I've considered them - looked at the under-muscle options, the risks. Looked a porn-stars & celebrities and even felt the tits of other women with implants and.... nah. I'm happy with my little helpings. Home-grown is best for me.

 

[coati]

Implants, implants. I've considered them - looked at the under-muscle options, the risks. Looked a porn-stars & celebrities and even felt the tits of other women with implants and.... nah. I'm happy with my little helpings. Home-grown is best for me.

A great choice, especially in the long run.

 

[AlexBailey]

Implants, implants. I've considered them - looked at the under-muscle options, the risks. Looked a porn-stars & celebrities and even felt the tits of other women with implants and.... nah. I'm happy with my little helpings. Home-grown is best for me.

Home-grown? As in what you get from HRT?

What sort of range of breast growth is possible with hormones? I'd imagine there is quite some variation but I haven't done any research on the subject. I've toyed with the idea but never seriously considered it.


I'm so conflicted.

I'm still very split between my desires...

);

 

[MsNatalie99]

Getting Started

I have been talking with my Psychiatrist about sexual identity and potentially transitioning, however, I sometimes feel like he is pushing me towards it. I was wondering how you had got started in your transitioning. I am feeling as if I should be, but don't want to rush into lasting decisions. Anything you can tell me would help. Doctors, specialist, etc. I just want to be informed before I make any choices. I used Google to locate resources, but you have a soul, so I trust your knowledge.

 

[stickygirl]

There is a lot to think about in your response.

I think she does feel powerful with her penis. It’s bigger than most and she says she wishes it was bigger (omg!). She is proud of being transgender and even though she is very feminine, she lists her gender as Male on her Facebook page intentionally. I think having a penis is part of that identity - with a vagina she would just be another woman.

She is definitely strong-minded and although very sweet natured with me, a bit of a rebel. I wonder if more younger transgender women are like her - this is what I’ve got and if you don’t like it, find someone else. She never thought that she would find someone who would love her just the way she is.

Does she take estrogen and anti-androgens? I'm glad she has found her happy in terms of her identity and body. Lovely that the two of you found each other as well

A great choice, especially in the long run.

Especially on long runs... owch! That's not say I don't see a dress I like, then look closer, then think chicken fillets and sticky boobs and having to duck to the restroom to adjust everything in a cubicle to make it look like I have size B, then I think 'fucking tits - why are you so small?'

Home-grown? As in what you get from HRT?
What sort of range of breast growth is possible with hormones? I'd imagine there is quite some variation but I haven't done any research on the subject. I've toyed with the idea but never seriously considered it.
I'm so conflicted.
I'm still very split between my desires... );

Yes, home-grown. These puppies are mine, the ones what I did make. They didn't come from hormone replacement therapy - nothing got replaced, it got corrected. All that yucky testosterone poisoned my body and produced all these horrible side-effects. Imagine if coronavirus made people lose their hair, or turn bright green as a side-effect?! Yet we accept testosterone as being normal

Men should have breasts, but Nature is a lazy-ass bitch and making breasts was probably too much like hard work for men, so they end up masturbating three times a day for ten years and making facial hair instead


Growth? Aha! The thinking was "Here's your hormones; there's your genes and be grateful for an A-cup". I recently found a doctor online doing lectures, who has a much more enlightened approach.... you know, using science, imagine that?! I've already posted a link, but I'll add it below.
A much-watch talk about trans health care ( and boobs, Alex)

As it is traditional on this thread and it is NY morning here, with snow on the ground...

A very happy New Year to all the trans folk and allies at Literotica. Keep fighting for what you need to make yourself a happy, dignified and purposeful life in 2021. Big love and hugs [/COLOR]

Finally, go read my stories - they're both hot and romantic and I'm really proud of the ones I wrote this last year about a gorgeous post-op trans woman (who could that be?!). They'll make you laugh and cry - what else do you need?! xxx

 

[stickygirl]

Normally she does not take any hormones at all. Recently she started taking estrogen to develop some breast tissue for implants. We read that a person should take estrogen for several months before implant surgery. She does not want to take hormones any longer than is necessary. In fact she hasn’t been very good about taking the estrogen even though she wants the implants.

I'm sure you've done the research on that pre-implant thing - I can't comment cos I don't know.
I'm only slightly jealous that she doesn't take hormones Genes are everything and I have Anglo-Saxon raiding-party bear-wrestling ones

 

[MsNatalie99]

Yes, genes are everything. In her case she was definitely meant to be female:

https://i.imgur.com/Htkyazy.jpg

She's quite beautiful. She would be a goddess with or without implants.

 

[fma20fma]

hi

what is the reason to remove male parts?just leave it as it is and behave like a woman and love the guy who likes sissy.

 

[MsNatalie99]

what is the reason to remove male parts?just leave it as it is and behave like a woman and love the guy who likes sissy.

It's about being who you are inside and out. Not everyone who identifies as a female is necessarily a sissy. I don't dress, identify, or orient based on the potential desires of a partner. I want to be happy with me as me. I think you may be oversimplifying a much broader issue.

 

[stickygirl]

It's about being who you are inside and out. Not everyone who identifies as a female is necessarily a sissy. I don't dress, identify, or orient based on the potential desires of a partner. I want to be happy with me as me. I think you may be oversimplifying a much broader issue.

<<<hugs>>>

 

[stickygirl]

what is the reason to remove male parts?just leave it as it is and behave like a woman and love the guy who likes sissy.

Ain't no reason except the person's choice. Simple as that. All the rest of us have to do is respect their decision, lend them some support and carry on being awesome

 

[MsNatalie99]

Ain't no reason except the person's choice. Simple as that. All the rest of us have to do is respect their decision, lend them some support and carry on being awesome

Yes! Just going to Carry on being Awesome Great answer!

 

[Paradox]

Stiky, you have developed quite a community here since you first started your thread. Nice work!

 

[stickygirl]

Stiky, you have developed quite a community here since you first started your thread. Nice work!

Thanks - I see it as a wholefood cafe and people can wander in to ask about the goods or pull up a chair for a chat. It's a bit like the LGBTQ room in my students union.

 

[timreh]

 

[AlexBailey]

Yes, genes are everything. In her case she was definitely meant to be female:

https://i.imgur.com/Htkyazy.jpg

What a beautiful woman. Thanks for sharing. You're a fortunate fellow, and I suspect you are also deserving.