Ask a MtF TG a question

[MsNatalie99]

Re:After

Counselling for patience maybe?! Or counselling for how to cope with overwhelming joy?![/QUOTE]

Thank you. I was actually doing a paper on postpartum depression (Totally different I understand) when the question that hit me. From what I've been able to see and what I can tell those who are willing to go all the way with their transition tend to be happy at the finish line. Thank you so much for answering my question, I appreciate your willingness to address it.

 

[timreh]

I remember back when I started HRT I couldn't get the doctors to agree to start me. They didn't have any real reason, they just refused to schedule a follow-up appointment with me. No appointment, no prescription.

So I contacted an offshore pharmacy and placed an order.

Those supplies showed up and I started self medicating.

A month or so later the endocrine doctor suddenly decided he'd made me wait long enough and gave me the 'script.

It was all a such a silly series of events on his part. Glad it's over with. None of my subsequent docs have ever seen any medical reason why I should have been denied HRT for those months.

 

[timreh]

I'm now caught in the Covid limbo. I had a surgery request in, had cleared all but the final in-person screening, then Covid shut down the operating rooms here. Months went by, and I got a phone call saying the surgeon wanted to do the in-person pre-surgery meeting.

That went really well and he agreed I was a good candidate.

A couple of weeks later they called with two possible dates for the surgery. But by then I was in the middle of moving and knew recovery and moving boxes and furniture didn't go together. So we agreed I should postpone things.

Then Covid starting spiking again.

My guess is I'll now have to wait until Spring for the surgery.

 

[stickygirl]

Have a man do the boxes

Weirdly Covid brought Maya's surgery forward in Canada ( I linked her YT channel ). She supposed it was because there were fewer people travelling from the USA to fill the surgical beds. You're being very patient and phlegmatic - I guess you don't have a choice

 

[PansexualPeach]

Thanks to both Stickygirl for all her hard work answering everyone’s questions. Also thanks to everyone else for educating yourself.

(I’m a trans man. I am not here to educate anyone. I used to do a lot of trans 101 type educating but I got burnt out.)

 

[stickygirl]

Thanks to both Stickygirl for all her hard work answering everyone’s questions. Also thanks to everyone else for educating yourself.

(I’m a trans man. I am not here to educate anyone. I used to do a lot of trans 101 type educating but I got burnt out.)

Thanks Peach - and please stick around! Your knowledge and insight would be helpful on Lit and, as I only know a couple of trans men irl, I'd be interested in learning more.

Also, thanks for your recent posts elsewhere ( yes, I followed the bread-crumbs ) that gave me fuzzies. You'll find a spectrum of ignorance/knowledge, acceptance/denial on Lit and in this thread I've tried to nudge people towards understanding. Most folks are curious, even if they are obsessive, but I hope any real-life info I can impart will make them think and hopefully take that knowledge into a conversation on a barstool.

 

[coati]

When the bars reopen, we'll have a lot to talk about.

 

[stickygirl]

Well here we are, finally.
Wishing all the lovely Trans & NBs on Lit a very peaceful, stress free time and all the LGB folk a smoocheroony day.

....and, yea. Xmas 2020. Different huh?

 

[timreh]

 

[stickygirl]

Someone mentioned Tik Tok Lesbians to me the other day so I did that 'nod, oh sure, yea' thing but inside I was 'I hope they don't make me look stupid by asking me something which will show idk what they mean'.

So I googled and I'm not much wiser. What I do know is that it is a genre of TikTok which is an app I've never used. There are sub-genres of tiktok lesbians like
Thirst Traps ( masc of centre, NBs) who wear beanies and stick out their tongues
Cottagecore - who like fairy gardens and forage for food, make pottery
WitchTok - crystals, candles, tarot
Skaters - skaters
Queer earring - earrings made of household objects

So there ya go. I guess I'd associate somewhere between cottage and skaters but I think there's a bit of each. I see there isn't a GeekTok who like science or AspieTok who keep to themselves, yearn constantly for affection, are divas in bad, fight to avoid chewing their nails and spend a lot of time wondering if they're doing lesbian correctly.

 

[MsNatalie99]

Yeah, every guy is a lesbian lol.

All joking aside, I have read about TikToks’s FYP algorithm and I still can’t figure out what I am doing there. Sometimes I “rescue” actual lesbians stuck on straight TikTok or conservative TikTok by following them and liking their videos. So that kind of reinforces the whole thing. It’s absurd but why not?

Rescue them from what? Why can’t they play on normal Tik Tok with the rest of the girls? I promise I am not trying to bash you, I just don't seem to understand.

 

[MsNatalie99]

Normal TikTok is not a LGBTQIA friendly place. Once you get stuck among the haters, there you will dwell until people like me follow you and like your videos. People actually post on their videos, if you are seeing my video on your FYP page, please help me escape this Trump hell I am in. Are you on TikTok? Are you a member of the LGBTQIA community?

I am and I am. I just try not to allow the feelings of others dictate where I can go or who I am. It sounds like you are a decent guy with a good heart. So I am honestly not trying to down what you're saying. I have had my balls stomped into the ground and had stitches put into my eye, not because of my lifestyle choices but the ignorance of others. I just feel that if I avoid a place than I will never be able to go there. I met my first real boyfriend and had my first real kiss in the same building where I lost three teeth. Being different is like ice-skating up hill, but you can't go around the hill looking for an escalator. It's a battle, one that must be fought everyday. Besides those Maga a-holes may be bashing me in the comments but I bet the hypocrites are only doing it with one hand.

 

[MsNatalie99]

Well if someone asks me for help, I am going to help them. I think that it’s good that you are willing to go to battle but it’s not for everyone. My girlfriend tries to be non-confrontational so I can’t say which path is best for anyone. I definitely think you are right about that last part.

I'm not trying to imply that you are wrong in your thinking. Nor am I implying that anyone is weak for not desiring a confrontation. By all means be the type of man you would like to know. I just think that it is rubbish that we should have our own personal TikTok just to feel safe. A hard core conservative minded man should feel just as safe in this forum as any other. Just as I should feel safe in any forum. Such is not the way of the world I know but it should ultimately be the goal. If I see you in trouble I have your back. Not because of race, gender, sexual orientation, or beliefs, but because it is the right thing to do. You are good people. I just don't know how we can be united if we choose to divide. I am just naive and idealistic and I am sorry if I sounded like I was attacking you.

 

[MsNatalie99]

Unfortunately, a large group of people spend their time spreading hate and questioning people’s very right to exist. There is no compromising on that. There is no middle ground. I see that every day on social media. I don’t want to live with people who hate me. I don’t want to talk to them. I don’t want to have anything to do with them. But that’s just me.[/QUOTE]

I get that. Trust me I do. I see the looks I get when I am out shopping or on a run. Helping is always good but I just worry that sometimes we are helping backwards. You see a lady on the bus getting a hard time because of where she is sitting and you guide her to the back where it is safer, but maybe she wanted to sit up front. Do what you feel is right. But I don’t feel like I should have to be rescued because of the intolerance of others. Nor will I ever be accepted if I choose to hide.

 

[stickygirl]

I often see LGBTQ people who will present in a very overt way ( make up / dress ) and wonder if that is the best way? It isn't the safest way but I'd say let people choose their battles. I've seen some little old ladies dig their heels in and get so mad they'll make that person give up their seat.

We each have our strengths and our red lines. I'm quicker to defend other people than I am myself, because injustice is my red line. If people catcall me or step out across the pavement if I'm running, I'll simply choose a different neighbourhood or street. If I see someone being picked on I'm in there like a terrier.

People's opinions are like water and follow the easiest route. The Murdoch press and the Trump machine encourage and support thuggery and the only counter to them are the courts, not individuals trying to fight fire with fire.

Thanks for the heads up about TikTok. Same as Hatebook then. Another neighbourhood I'll avoid.

 

[MsNatalie99]

People's opinions are like water and follow the easiest route. The Murdoch press and the Trump machine encourage and support thuggery and the only counter to them are the courts, not individuals trying to fight fire with fire.

Thanks for the heads up about TikTok. Same as Hatebook then. Another neighbourhood I'll avoid.[/QUOTE]

I'm sorry. I wasn’t trying to put anyone down or rile anyone up. Have a good night everyone.

 

[stickygirl]

People's opinions are like water and follow the easiest route. The Murdoch press and the Trump machine encourage and support thuggery and the only counter to them are the courts, not individuals trying to fight fire with fire.

Thanks for the heads up about TikTok. Same as Hatebook then. Another neighbourhood I'll avoid.

I'm sorry. I wasn’t trying to put anyone down or rile anyone up. Have a good night everyone.

You weren't hone - we're just chatting
<<hugs>>

 

[timreh]

As a not always passable gender queer / fluid. trans femme, I find I have to pick my personal battles while making sure not to ignore my humanity towards others. Otherwise I get caught in an emotional loop that is bad for my mental wellness.

Do I love my skirts and wedges, oh heck yes. But I recently moved to a small rural town in a mostly conservative region. So when I walk into the local hardware store I'll be more butch / masc then I'd normally prefer to be. Maybe in time I'll expand what I wear to the local stores?

When I head down to a larger town / city where there's a more tolerant / liberal set of values I'll dress with far less reserve.

And I'm active in a couple of orgs that are working to make the whole state more inclusive.

 

[stickygirl]

I'm with Timreh on this: don't make yourself a target. It might feel like like a double standard, but it makes sense for anyone. Like any woman, I'm acutely aware of how vulnerable I am, so I camouflage to blend in, look boring, don't show flesh, don't get drunk... the list goes on.

It's a patriarchy - act accordingly but keeping pushing for change.

 

[MsNatalie99]

I'm not talking about putting on a show, or being in peoples faces. I never received my official list of where I am allowed to run, shop, permissible apps, or even where I can live without coming home with fag or swastikas on my door. I don't want to be in peoples faces, they've been here. I just want to go about my business without needing a disguise to do so. I am sorry if I am coming off upset or confrontational. I just don't know why I should bother dressing at all or seeing men at all if I have to wait for them to approve of me. Honestly I am sorry.

I don't drink or smoke. I don't go out in skimpy outfits. I don't leave my house after dark. I am careful, I have learned from experience what happens wheen you think your a person and they disagree. I just don't feel that it is right that I have to hide who I am. I don't live in a liberal area. I don't have a safe place to go. Even if I did, where am I allowed to go?

 

[MsNatalie99]

sorry.

I'm obviously seeing this wrong, so I will try to shush up. I am sorry for ranting. I respect and value all that has been said. I suppose that I am just chasing ghosts. I apologize for my tangent and if I have caused any offense.

 

[MColton84]

No need to apologize

I'm obviously seeing this wrong, so I will try to shush up. I am sorry for ranting. I respect and value all that has been said. I suppose that I am just chasing ghosts. I apologize for my tangent and if I have caused any offense.

I don't believe that anyone is saying that you're wrong. I read your thread referring to the lady on the bus I imagine that you were talking about Rosa Parks. She was arrested for not giving up her seat. It's not right that you should ever feel unsafe anywhere under any condition. Unfortunately, these wars are not won in a single battle they take years. I'm a married white guy, there really isn't anywhere that I can go where I catch the kind of shade you're describing. I've been jumped and I've been beaten too, but not for the reasons you have. Keep the faith girl, look how far the community's come in the last 20 years. Things are not good, but they are better. Ignorance is everywhere, intolerance is everywhere, which is why you have to keep a level head so that we don't get mixed up in the storm. My thoughts and prayers go out to you, and to anybody who was just trying to find their place in the world. Feel free to contact me if you ever just want to yell at somebody and tell them off. We all need to do a little bit of that sometimes too. You should never be sorry for being you, there's no one else that you can be but you know that there are plenty of people out there better looking for a reason to punish you for being you, so proceed with caution.

 

[timreh]

I'm obviously seeing this wrong, so I will try to shush up. I am sorry for ranting. I respect and value all that has been said. I suppose that I am just chasing ghosts. I apologize for my tangent and if I have caused any offense.

Please don't shush up on my account. And feel free to rant all you want.

Some of us who post in this thread are trans, some aren't. Some are 2 months into transition, some many years into the process. Each of us brings a unique perspective and our own individual experiences to the conversation.

Feel free to PM me if you want. I'm on the east coast of the USA, so my perspective may be different from yours, but I'd be happy to chat if you felt so inclined.

 

[Asian_Flower]

Hi Sticky, I hope you dont mind this question and please excuse my naivety. Was chatting with a GF last night, we got on the subject of trans people somehow and she mentioned she had a close friend she used to work with, a Filipino, who did a full M to F transition. We both wondered if she is now able to have full penetrative sex?

 

[muycurioso]

how did it feel when a stranger

All about Trans Women

Lots of you know me already and I've been happy to answer friends' questions via PMs. Here I can give you honest answers to the questions burning in your mind about transgender people but be warned: this isn't a thread for fulfilling your fantasies, it's for filling in the blanks in your knowledge about us. Trans people just want to get on with our lives and be accepted in society, so dispelling a few myths might help that.

I won't be answering questions about my personal life, just about life in general from my perspective and I hope it'll help other trans women along the way. I'll try not to be too 'political' because life should be fun and btw I don't have a dick - thank heavens... I mean dicks are fine, but not on me.

ETA Jan 2015
I may not be around the threads as much, but I get a notification when folks post on this one. So I'm still around, even I don't post much myself and I'm happy to answer questions that come up

ETA Nov 2016
Towards the end of the thread it does get quite political... Maybe, because I have most of my transitioning issues behind me I found myself focusing on that side of things and maybe Lit isn't the right forum for that. To any trans women that visit then I'll assume you're here for sex, just like I was four years ago and there ain't nothing wrong with that. But like so many other things we revisit through the course of our transition, going through that re-teen horndog phase is just another stage we pass through. To address you trans women specifically, live every day as best you can; survive; transition and find yourself a better life the other side because you're damned well worth it. Big hugs and good luck

ETA Index ... so far
1. Gender v Sexuality - this page!
2. Gender is Performance ( an act for society? ) #22 this page
3. Why the interest in genitals? #24 this page
4. Healthcare for trans #37
5. Coming out to family #49
6. Men crossing the line between cyber porn and real trans women #84
7. Autogynephilia and a failed academic called Blanchard #117
8. Trans as fetish
9. Trans in porn #183
10. When did you first know? #211
11. T-girl/shemale/sissy - what's the difference? #238
12. Electrolysis #262
13. Aren't you just gay? #286
14. My surgery #238
15. Post op recovery #407
16. That genitals can just be wrong #452
17. Gender recognition the legalities #518
18. Post op healing ups and downs #538
19. The binary and boobs! #591
20. Wrong-handed world #606
21. Stents hurt - stretching my vag #618
22. Self lubrication or not? #636
23. But what if there were such thing as the wrong body? #682
24. Restrooms part 1 #739
25. Thinking like a woman?!? #818
26. Porn, violence, homophobes #860
27. Gender binary again #912
28. Older trans experiences: depression #939
29. More restroom transphobia #951
30. Ok... Jenner #965
31. Mental health: trans is no picnic #1036
32. Dating: dicks or lack thereof #1067
33. Famous trans affect us all #1120
34. How do I come out as trans #1158
35. The infamously misquoted Swedish study #1180
36. Walking and talking #1196
37. Recommended Reading #1625
38. Gender Dysphoria and Autism studies & links #1903

called you ma'an or miss when you were in public for the first time as a female.