Ask a MtF TG a question

[yukonnights]

Seriously, not trolling here.

Just offering a different perspective. Sorry if it violates your worldview.

Legatus, I hope I'm not wasting my time responding to you. I have reviewed your posting history, and it appears very possible that you joined up just at election time to troll. But you also have posted about your Christian faith and about your queer desires. Regardless, I'm going to respond to you in the hope it might help you understand why so many have been offended by your remarks. Also, I hope what I might add will strengthen the sometimes hurt and confused who come to these forums to help answer the questions about their sexuality and gender identity.

First, as a self professed Christian you must know that your words fail in the greatest of Christ's commandment...Love the Lord you God with all of your heart, with all of your soul and with all of your mind...and love your neighbor as you love yourself.

You yourself admitted that you view transgendered humans as a cultural anomaly...freaks. And worse, you think these Freaks are good for only one thing, which is sexual gratification for those who seek to use other humans as chattel. Love your neighbor...

The truth is, we are all humans who have similar needs for love, self understanding, freedom, free choice and on and on. Are we all the same? No, and if you truly believe in the Gospel of Christ, then you by default believe in the idea that the Spirit of God is in each of us...that every human is created in the image of God. How then can you willfully bring pain to another with your harsh words...and please don't try to pander with the claim that you are "only speaking what's on your mind", that just makes you look unfeeling and uncaring about others...Love your neighbors as you love yourself...

So the questions I ask you; Why is it so important for you to speak if you know your words will offend or hurt others? You say you are offering "another perspective"...I ask; At what cost? Is it worth offering a perspective that hurts another person? Can you not empathize with the person who might be confused about their sexuality and are only seeking the same inner peace we all need? Don't you know that the level of suicide, homelessness and depression in Trans youth is far too high? You say you're sorry if it "violates a person's worldview"...I ask; what if it's not their worldview you are violating but their own self-respect...or worse, the violation of a person's self-worth...or even just hurts their feelings...Love your neighbors as you love yourself...

***
Now a little bit of news: (I hope you read this Legatus...it might help you see these "anomalies" as fellow humans) I ran across this article this morning about a significant research study conducted to map the differences in the "male brain" and the "female brain". It's a great article for all folks who sense that they are not what society expects them to be. In short, the study concludes that it is only a very few on either extreme who display all male traits or all female traits. This is significant news as it lends further proof of the non-binary gender understanding. There's more in the article below.

The article can be found here:https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/speaking-of-science/wp/2015/12/01/brains-arent-actually-male-or-female-new-study-suggests/

 

[haurni]

Your post makes it very clear that you are a bitter, angry and selfish person. You have no empathy for trans people because you don't see them as human, only as vehicles to satisfy your frustrated sexual desires. You seem to be the kind of hateful, twisted Christian-in-name-only who does nothing but judge and excoriate others without removing the beam from your own eye.

Let's take your main points one at a time, shall we?

1. You had a failed relationship with someone who 'checked all your boxes'. This is where the vast majority of your hostility is coming from. Nothing about any of the things that should rightfully make people angry - discrimination and violence against trans people, or the typical right-wing BS about bathrooms - but just that you got dumped by someone you wanted, and now you judge all trans people by, in essence, how well they satisfy your criteria (i.e. not at all). More on your 'criteria' below.

2. Most looked disgusting. Even if you weren't attracted to someone, it's simply rude to say this. Do you make these sorts of comments about women? I'll bet you do.

3. The 'ideal transsexual' only exists in porn and erotica. Here's the other big contributor to your issues. Porn, in case you hadn't yet figured it out, is about selling people a fantasy. The vast majority of porn is made by men to sell to other men. It doesn't necessarily have anything to do with reality - do you really think that all lesbians routinely do each other with inch-long fingernails? The 'she-male' you see in porn is a construct of that industry and does not represent the majority of 'real' trans people, so it's no wonder you haven't been able to find the sort of person you've been looking for outside of a porn/sex-work context. No wonder you're frustrated. Basically, you're furious that you got sold a bill of goods for something that doesn't exist, and now you're taking it out on the 'product', not the vendor. (As a Trump voter, you probably also believe that immigrants are taking your jobs, not that corporations are deliberately giving 'your' jobs to people who are desperate enough to perform shitty and dangerous work for less than minimum wage, or that 'your' jobs have been deliberately shipped overseas in the service of greater profits for the 1% [including Trump himself] who don't want to pay you those high union wages with health insurance and extra for overtime.) Perhaps if you took the time to realize that the attitudes you've swallowed hook, line and sinker are the issue, rather than trans people per se, you might realize that trans people are not the problem here.

4. The importance of being 'passable'. Again, this is your false image of the 'she-male' talking. I've said this before - trans people don't exist to be appealing to you. That they may not meet your unrealistic expectations is your problem, not theirs. And, speaking of a 'checklist of physical traits', you might find this article on passing useful.

5. Your preferred sexual practices violate my gender identity. Again, this is your porn-fueled fantasy talking. First, there are some trans people - who are not sex-workers - who may be willing to penetrate you (you obviously found one), so don't tar everyone with the same brush. Second, many trans women lose the ability to sustain erections (without Viagra or similar drugs) if they've been on hormones for a while. Third, many (not all) trans people experience strongly negative reactions to their genitals (dysphoria) and may prefer other forms of sexual activity as a result. Or they may have had gender confirmation surgery. So for you to insist that a trans woman conform to your ideals and service you in the way you want may be physically impossible (either due to hormones or surgery) or highly unpleasant for them. For you to insist that they do so is unutterably selfish and disrespectful.

6. Having the 'audacity' to advocate for bottoming or Gender Confirmation Surgery. Oh, wow. Just wow. This is among the most revolting things you could say (and you've said a few, and proudly). Because you insist on forcing someone to conform to your warped image of what they should be, rather than who they themselves are, they are 'audacious' and 'uppity'? That someone who is distressed at the sight of their own genitals won't take Viagra and fuck your throat deserves "no love, no empathy, and very little respect"? That someone whose dysphoria is so great that they are at high risk of suicide and so had Gender Confirmation Surgery is the reason you are "completely consumed by frustration, lust, regret, and humiliation"? That someone who wants to express themselves sexually in a particular way (being a bottom) is therefore a 'SJW' (in the pejorative sense) simply for expressing their own desires, rather than subjecting themselves to yours? That someone (i.e. you) can be so totally insensitive, fucked up and ass backwards is what really gets me about your posts.

You, sir, have a serious problem. You. Not anybody else. Not any trans person who ever existed. You. Everything you've said is entirely the result of your own unreasonable expectations of trans people and your insistence that they conform to your unrealistic (and often unrealizable) fantasy image. I'm sorry it didn't work out for you with the "enormously hung tranny [you] enjoyed deepthroating", but you need to realize that your hostility is targeted at the wrong group. I'm going to guess that some of it may be your own self-hate projected outward (which is also your problem, and yours alone), but the majority of it seems to be that you've bought into a vision of something that, by and large, doesn't exist, and which has rendered your fantasies unfulfillable, and this is what pisses you off.

If anything, you should be angry at the 'porn industry' that has so mischaracterized an entire class of people that both you and they are suffering as a result. Perhaps you could do some research on this. Perhaps you could direct that anger toward the more appropriate target. Perhaps you could actually learn to treat trans people as people, rather than expecting them to be well-hung blow-up dolls who exist only for your satisfaction. If you can, perhaps some good can still come out of this.

^^^
TLDR version:

It is the pain of severely underserved, unfulfilled desires that fuel my disposition.

Yeah, I got that. And the fact that you can see it gives me some hope for you. If you can be bothered to read it, you may find this article on the construction of trans women in pornography informative and helpful.

 

[Legatus]

Let me respond to each of your points:

1. You had a failed relationship with someone who 'checked all your boxes'.

It wasn't even a relationship, she wouldn't let it go that far. She was a fuck buddy that I was hoping would be down for a relationship, but she didn't want it for some reason. My anger isn't at her, it's at all the trannies that came after her. In my entire adult life, I have been romantically successful (defining "successful" as becoming friends, going on dates, and maybe starting a relationship) with 1 out of every 4 or 5 women I have shown interest in. So seeing as my "number" is somewhere north of two dozen, lets just say I've gotten what I wanted from 25 women out of 100 attempted. Those are fair odds. Compare that to trans women, I would have to put my estimated unique contacts with trannies somewhere in the neighborhood of 60 or 70 unique individuals over the years. This is also in a shorter time period than I've pursued females. Out of all of that, I've found ONE that *almost* had what I was looking for.

So yes, I am judging all of the trannies I've met thus far on the fact that they have not been able to give me what I want.


2. Most looked disgusting...
... Do you make these sorts of comments about women? I'll bet you do.

I absolutely make those comments about women, when they deserve it.


3. The 'ideal transsexual' only exists in porn and erotica.

Don't be dense, of course I know porn isn't "real".
What porn/erotica has been is idealistic.
Porn portrays an ideal, a fantasy, maybe, but it's an ideal. If men can fuck women who have real tits and don't require inordinate amounts of grooming and upkeep to be passible/feminine as trannies do, why would men be interested in trannies? Because they want a girl with "something extra".
Same reason men will hit on the girl with big tits; they want a unique, prominent sexual feature. Men are not pursuing big breasted (or slender, or leggy, or whatever your preference) women for their thoughts on the transpacific partnership or their views on government and taxes, they are pursuing them for their possession of favorable sexual traits.
With trannies, the same is true. Sure, you may get one or two emotional fuck bois that "want to be an ally", but do a quick internet search of men interested in transexuals. The vast majority want them because they are "women with dicks".

I'm not even going to dignify the political BS with a response.


4. The importance of being 'passable'.

Oh, it most certainly is *their* problem. Ask yourself what society's general disposition is towards a "man in a dress" vs. a transexual who everyone thinks is female. You already know the answer to that one.
Outside of some very small openly queer communities, the vast majority of society, and even a significant portion of the gay community, view non-passable trannies in a negative light.

And that article you linked to is full of so much WTF I don't even know where to start. Being passable is akin to a women "acting like a lady". If a women dresses androgynous, carries herself like a man, and doesn't have decent manners or a playful/kind disposition, many men will disregard them or just "deal with it" if they are forced to interact.


5. Your preferred sexual practices violate my gender identity.

Pretty sure I've already covered this. Whether woman or tranny, nothing is more annoying than "don't to it that way, do it like *this*" when you are trying to have sex.


6. Having the 'audacity' to advocate for bottoming or Gender Confirmation Surgery.

Again, I think you already know where I'm coming from, but to address a few points:

What you did there, quoting my "gender reassignment surgery" as "gender confirmation surgery". I saw that. Cute.

Yeah, they do need to conform to my and other trans-attracted men's image of what they should be. You say *we* are the ones living a fantasy? You're a "girl" with a dick!!!
You should be happy there's a few deviants like us out there that want to experience *some* form of intimacy with you.

And "SJW" *is* a pejorative. They are reprehensible, insufferable human beings. They are mainly what is wrong with the millennial generation--no, you aren't a beautiful, unique snowflake, and no, the world does not have to *accept you* for who you say you are.

Also, I'm not angry by the porn industry.

To use a comparison from regular porn, take any genre, any of them-----that genre gives you an ideal, or a preference held by men towards women.
When that ideal meets the skreeching, shreaking feminist reality, the light bulb comes on for many men: Oh, that dumb bitch on facebook posting all the Huffington Post and Salon articles? Yeah, she won't be down to take a load on her face, and she probably thinks swallowing is gross too... and I'll probably have to listen to her get all preachy about the "pay gap" and gender equality if we end up in a relationship.

Better go after the duck face instragram girl with daddy issues. Bet she'll even let me put it in her butt.

Same logic applies to trannies. No way in hell does anyone want to get caught up with some SJW scum.

And that last article you posted.... WTF.... Nice echo chamber you have there. Good luck finding one in 10,000 people who share that fucked worldview.

 

[haurni]

I rest my case.

 

[Legatus]

I rest my case.

What do you want me to say?

I tried to find what I wanted, I was soundly and completely rejected by the target community, now I have contempt for them.

Edit: I've had a productive conversation with yukonnights through PM.
I'll share some of my thoughts later, I'm not saying it's going to be easy, but I will try to make some changes.

 

[Legatus]

I moved my entire line of thought to its own thread so the OP can get back on topic.

Feel free to chime in.

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?p=82192064#post82192064

 

[haurni]

I linked to this blog in an earlier post, but I'll do so again as something worth reading for those who are so inclined:

https://transphilosopher.com/

 

[Legatus]

I linked to this blog in an earlier post, but I'll do so again as something worth reading for those who are so inclined:

https://transphilosopher.com/

The problem with not passing is that peoples' perception shifts from "that woman looks hot in that dress" to " why is that man wearing a dress?".

 

[haurni]

Legatus, I'm fine to engage with you in your other thread, but I'd request that you not post here because your comments thus far have been so viciously toxic and hateful. I'm beginning to understand where you're coming from, but this thread is really not the place to discuss your particular issues, concerns or thoughts about/attitudes toward trans people.

Thanks.

 

[Legatus]

Very well.

 

[Black13]

Sigh... always late to the party... I'm not even gonna bother to catch up on that one. Some dude is shitty, and arguing fans the flames of shittiness. The question is not how do we fix stupid, but how do we channel it into benign actions? How do you get an attack dog to attack the right people?

That being said, I'm 4 months into HRT and my boobs are starting to show up. H'ray! Now if they weren't so goddamn hairy...

 

[Bramblethorn]

Things I share in common with other straight men: Invented fixed wing flight, went to the moon, colonized the savage parts of the world, and invented western civilization.

OP has started a separate thread so I'm not really looking to kick off a debate here, but for the record I'm going to note that the idea that the Apollo missions and "Western civilisation" were exclusively achieved by straight guys is... not factual.

 

[haurni]

"Western civilisation"

Did I hear mention of the Greeks?

 

[timreh]

Hi, I'm timreh.

Just found this thread.

From my time as a child I *knew* something was off-kilter. It turns out I'm a female born with the wrong body parts. I've been in transition for about 2 years now. The bestest thing I have ever done for myself was admitting I could no longer pretend to be a guy.

In my effort to give back to the community I now facilitate a number of peer support groups. It's nice to be helpful to others who are struggling / searching for their own personal identity.

Not here to make waves or cause trouble, but if anyone wants to chat / PM / etc about transition, HRT, or peer groups I may have something of value to offer.

Just don't ask me about dating. I live in a rural area, and have absolutely no skills at successfully dating as a transgender woman. <grin>

be well, t

 

[haurni]

Happy holidays!

 

[hourglass_nikki_ts]

Hi, I'm timreh.

Just found this thread.

From my time as a child I *knew* something was off-kilter. It turns out I'm a female born with the wrong body parts. I've been in transition for about 2 years now. The bestest thing I have ever done for myself was admitting I could no longer pretend to be a guy.

In my effort to give back to the community I now facilitate a number of peer support groups. It's nice to be helpful to others who are struggling / searching for their own personal identity.

Not here to make waves or cause trouble, but if anyone wants to chat / PM / etc about transition, HRT, or peer groups I may have something of value to offer.

Just don't ask me about dating. I live in a rural area, and have absolutely no skills at successfully dating as a transgender woman. <grin>

be well, t

thanks!

 

[haurni]

Anybody who's been reading about trans issues recently has probably heard of the recent BBC documentary "Transgender Kids: Who Knows Best?" Many in the broad community consider it biased in favour of Dr. Ken Zucker, ex head of Toronto's Centre for Addiction & Mental Health's Gender Identity Clinic that was closed down in late 2015 because a review found its "approach to providing services to be out of step with current and evolving clinical and operational approaches."

I haven't seen the documentary yet but I wanted to share two links that address issues raised in the show as well as the broader historical background of the approaches used by Zucker and others:

"Thoughts on ‘Transgender Kids: Who Knows Best" (thanks Stickygirl for the link! )

"The Rise and Fall of #DiscoSexology: Dr. Zucker, CAMH, & Conversion Therapy"

Edit: Here's a recent article from HuffPo as well, "6 Facts About Affirming Therapy for Trans And Gender Non-Conforming Youth"

 

[haurni]

"National Geographic has announced it will make the two-hour documentary GENDER REVOLUTION: A JOURNEY WITH KATIE COURIC available to stream for free, beginning Tuesday, Feb. 14, for one week." - Business Wire

This appears to be available only in the US, but if you have Facebook the video is available there.

I haven't seen it yet but from what I've heard it is much more sympathetic than the BBC 'documentary' mentioned in the previous post.

 

[timreh]

Thank you for sharing this news.

 

[haurni]

I'm a new transexual, thought I'd share some pics. Let me know what you think. ..

This is more of an information thread than a porn thread, for people to post serious topics that would be of interest to the trans community in general (though now that Stickygirl is gone, perhaps we should just let it sink into the depths...). I have no doubt that if you start a new photo thread, either here in GLBT or in the Amateur Pic Feedback forum, you'll get the responses you're looking for

 

[JbwizzoD]

Did I hear mention of the Greeks?

Was JUST thinking that!!

 

[stickygirl]

Not gone, just away!
Thanks for that link Haurni - I managed to get around the US-only restrictions with some web wizardry and watched the whole show. I don't know much about Couric - whether she's well regarded or not, but I saw an earlier report she ran about trans kids and I couldn't work out if her ignorance of trans issues was done for the camera or not. In this one too, her lack of knowledge seemed a little affected as well, but I give her full marks for putting in so much time to finding answers to the questions so many have about transgender people.

I saw the BBC report too, which aired in Canada back in January and it couldn't have been more different. In that 'documentary' the journalist blundered about from one witness to another trying desperately to make a story from interviews that clearly didn't fit his agenda. However it did prompt Cristan Williams to put together a series of articles on TransAdvocate, so if you fancy reading more <- there's the link.


Wishing you all well, be nicer to each other,
from a small island far far away
Sticks

 

[timreh]

Not gone, just away!
Thanks for that link Haurni - I managed to get around the US-only restrictions with some web wizardry and watched the whole show. I don't know much about Couric - whether she's well regarded or not, but I saw an earlier report she ran about trans kids and I couldn't work out if her ignorance of trans issues was done for the camera or not. In this one too, her lack of knowledge seemed a little affected as well, but I give her full marks for putting in so much time to finding answers to the questions so many have about transgender people.

I saw the BBC report too, which aired in Canada back in January and it couldn't have been more different. In that 'documentary' the journalist blundered about from one witness to another trying desperately to make a story from interviews that clearly didn't fit his agenda. However it did prompt Cristan Williams to put together a series of articles on TransAdvocate, so if you fancy reading more <- there's the link.


Wishing you all well, be nicer to each other,
from a small island far far away
Sticks

 

[TransChick]

Hello, everyone. Another trans woman here -- I transitioned about 3 years ago, and it's always nice to meet other trans folks and allies.

I'm working on a story, and I thought I'd check out the forum here, and see if it's a place I want to hang out.

 

[timreh]

"National Geographic has announced it will make the two-hour documentary GENDER REVOLUTION: A JOURNEY WITH KATIE COURIC available to stream for free, beginning Tuesday, Feb. 14, for one week." - Business Wire

This appears to be available only in the US, but if you have Facebook the video is available there.

I haven't seen it yet but from what I've heard it is much more sympathetic than the BBC 'documentary' mentioned in the previous post.

It is reasonably well done. In fact, I used it as the basis for a public presentation on gender last week. About 40 people showed up for the event, including staff from three different colleges.