Ask a MtF TG a question

[stickygirl]

I like my penis. I like my hairy chest. I like my beard. I do hate shaving, though, and wish I didn't have to. I like scratching my balls. My hairy back and ass? Not so much. I'm testosterone laden.

More significantly is how you are treated by society as a hairy love-monkey... the ole male privilege thang, but to keep to the hairy stuff, you are identified and treated as male by those physical attributes. You're normal Brad - wonderfully normal of course!!

The fact that one has lived as a different gender also can't help but have an impact. If having a memory of experiencing life as another gender is what you mean by a 'stigma', no trans person will NOT have it. How they act now will also probably be affected by that past to some degree. How they FEEL about themselves internally is probably also going to be affected by the struggles they encountered along the way.

For sure - you can't escape your past and it's a mistake to hide from it. If anything I would say the stigma is not a residual maleness, but rather the trauma of being locked into the wrong gender role. That kind of long-term stress runs very deep and can manifest itself in a number of different pyschological problems from depression and self-harming to actual physical symptoms like psoriarsis, migraines etc. Compared to a little exposure to male privilege, I am clear as to what affected me more.

Perhaps I'm a cynic, but when I hear someone say something like 'know they are a girl at heart' or 'is truly a woman' about a prospective partner, what I hear is 'I don't want to associate with someone who might threaten my view of myself as a heterosexual male' - that is, I read it as a sign that the inquirer is more concerned about their own psychosexual identity (or how they appear in public, which is pretty much the same thing) than how they relate to the other person. I think it therefore behooves the inquirer to inquire of themselves a little more about their reasons for asking in the first place.

Meh... sadly your cynicism bucket holds water in many cases. I think there could be another side to it in that people worry that the trans woman isn't convinced herself - that she could be faking it. It's difficult to put across to a cis-gender person how wrong that assumption is. It's as though they are taking a snapshot of the present without really thinking what she has been through to reach this point: of how many clinicians needed to be convinced, of how much bullying and abuse went on in school and beyond, and of how hard the individual wished it would all go away.

But lets not be too hard on boyfriends and allies because it can be really tough on them when their friends and family get to hear the truth. They can walk away from it, but if they choose to stay, that makes them pretty awesome in my book.

 

[BradBigBrain]

Some little girls aren't girls

15 yo FtM TG. Great story.

 

[4yourpleasureiam]

More significantly is how you are treated by society as a hairy love-monkey... the ole male privilege thang, but to keep to the hairy stuff, you are identified and treated as male by those physical attributes. You're normal Brad - wonderfully normal of course!!


For sure - you can't escape your past and it's a mistake to hide from it. If anything I would say the stigma is not a residual maleness, but rather the trauma of being locked into the wrong gender role. That kind of long-term stress runs very deep and can manifest itself in a number of different pyschological problems from depression and self-harming to actual physical symptoms like psoriarsis, migraines etc. Compared to a little exposure to male privilege, I am clear as to what affected me more.

Meh... sadly your cynicism bucket holds water in many cases. I think there could be another side to it in that people worry that the trans woman isn't convinced herself - that she could be faking it. It's difficult to put across to a cis-gender person how wrong that assumption is. It's as though they are taking a snapshot of the present without really thinking what she has been through to reach this point: of how many clinicians needed to be convinced, of how much bullying and abuse went on in school and beyond, and of how hard the individual wished it would all go away.

But lets not be too hard on boyfriends and allies because it can be really tough on them when their friends and family get to hear the truth. They can walk away from it, but if they choose to stay, that makes them pretty awesome in my book.

None of that would be necessary if we loved the one we love with the heart we should love them with. If I fell in love with someone and found out they had once been born a diff gender how could that possible change them from being the person I fell in love with. Leaving love out of the situation and adding friend in it's place still adds up to the same ending. If you like someone like them. Now if I found out they were a mass murder or worse, well I would probably change my mind.

OK OK I am confused, does that blurt even have any meaning in this conversation. Think I should slink away and play with the boys.

 

[haurni]

If I fell in love with someone and found out they had once been born a diff gender how could that possible change them from being the person I fell in love with.

Exactly.

 

[stickygirl]

If I fell in love with someone and found out they had once been born a diff gender how could that possible change them from being the person I fell in love with.

Wouldn't change them, but it might make you scared that the world would realise your weener actually was too small and that all the kids that picked on you at school and that all the adults that scolded you 'to be a man' will know you for who you really are...
When a homophobic bully looks in a mirror all he sees is his own fear looking right back at him.

...and I wasn't meaning you 4YP, I was just being a bit over-dramatic

 

[stickygirl]

Also this
https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/enact-leelahs-law-ban-all-lgbtq-conversion-therapy/QPbYj38G

I can't vote on this because I'm Brit. Maybe you can?

 

[funluvinaj]

Also this
https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/enact-leelahs-law-ban-all-lgbtq-conversion-therapy/QPbYj38G

I can't vote on this because I'm Brit. Maybe you can?

Done and facebooked

 

[stickygirl]

Done and facebooked

Hey Sis!!
thanks for that, hone

 

[4yourpleasureiam]

Wouldn't change them, but it might make you scared that the world would realise your weener actually was too small and that all the kids that picked on you at school and that all the adults that scolded you 'to be a man' will know you for who you really are...
When a homophobic bully looks in a mirror all he sees is his own fear looking right back at him.

...and I wasn't meaning you 4YP, I was just being a bit over-dramatic

There is so much I would like to ask and know about you but I will never ask and so will never know. Just know that some where an old outdoors person thinks good thoughts.

Only thing we can do is our own small part to love and comfort one another.

 

[stickygirl]

Still here most days... lurking
So here's this
http://media.tumblr.com/d5b7a0ee2905094efe6ab6c09d2ae053/tumblr_inline_nic17z4W3T1rf2m46.gif

 

[4yourpleasureiam]

at your

I'm slow OK. Did she just figure out she is not a shoe but a slipper ?

One more question Please ? When I type I do not put a space between the last word and a period, but I do not like crowding a question mark up against the last word so put a space there. Do people look at that and say OMG look at that, then think what a dip 4yours is. Kind of like bad spelling and all that rot. If this is a question for the general board please forgive me for asking it here.

 

[BradBigBrain]

Do you like bangers and mash?
Fish and Chips?
Peas and carrots?

 

[TomBoner]

Also this
https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/enact-leelahs-law-ban-all-lgbtq-conversion-therapy/QPbYj38G

I can't vote on this because I'm Brit. Maybe you can?

Hey girly girl! Good to see you around. Add one to the petition. Great link. Sending it to my friends too.

 

[stickygirl]

at your

I'm slow OK. Did she just figure out she is not a shoe but a slipper ?

This was originally posted in Tumblr under a transgender thread so maybe it made more sense there? Being told "you're a boy" all your life is as every bit a crazy as being called a shoe - to a MtF

One more question Please ? When I type I do not put a space between the last word and a period, but I do not like crowding a question mark up against the last word so put a space there. Do people look at that and say OMG look at that, then think what a dip 4yours is. Kind of like bad spelling and all that rot. If this is a question for the general board please forgive me for asking it here.

The nerdy answer is that it depends on the leading and font type. Some fonts will allow extra space around a ? or ! so they don't feel so cramped up against the preceding letters. Not the case here though is it? <- see ouch!
I know font

Do you like bangers and mash? Yes, but only posh bangers - the cheap ones are gross
Fish and Chips? Yes, but they give me indigestion, which is no reason for not eating them especially when you're drunk. Same applies to kebabs and curry.
Peas and carrots?

I've always eaten my greens and oranges - I can even swallow zucchini whole

 

[TomBoner]

I've always eaten my greens and oranges - I can even swallow zucchini whole

Did you know that swallowing zucchini whole has the potential of turning you into a shoe!

...

OK ... sorry. Just my sick sense of humor again.

Morning hot stuff!

 

[BradBigBrain]

I've always eaten my greens and oranges - I can even swallow zucchini whole

Do you mind your Ps & Qs? Do you know where that expression came from?

 

[4yourpleasureiam]

Thanks StickyGirl I feel better now after the punctuation acceptance. That was really bothering me. Truly. I know you don't use caps so please understand I use them as a sign of respect. I no longer use them for people, positions and places I do not respect. That causes much red underlining by my poor confused computer.

I can Imagine the shoe thing. To me you are the soft dance slipper. Maybe not soft all the time but you know what I mean, I think. Have a great day

 

[stickygirl]

Not directly a trans thing but the umbrella is wide and sometimes a happy place... This lady's happy story kicks the XY-XX trolls in the nuts where they deserve

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2933979/I-born-no-womb-ve-given-birth-twins-says-mother-feared-no-man-want-me.html

 

[stickygirl]

as if it needed to be proved

We're not confused ( just not believed )

A useful study by Washington Uni that is a step in the right direction. It won't convince the flat-earthers and wackos though

 

[4yourpleasureiam]

Nice to see you around Sticky Girl ( Mind if I take the liberty with your name. It sounds so nice, Girl I mean)

 

[4yourpleasureiam]

Stopping in to say hello. So sorry to miss you.

 

[stickygirl]

Stopping in to say hello. So sorry to miss you.

Thanks for the bump 4YP. Hopefully the thread will be helpful to someone

 

[BradBigBrain]

I have an out of left field question...mainly because I'm cooking.

Besides the obvious...have you noticed changes since you've gone through your surgery...not just the physical and hormonal, but things like tastes. For example, do you now like spicy food when before you didn't. Or crave chocolate (being stereotypical here) instead of beer? Do you sweat differently? Smell things differently? Things like that.

 

[4yourpleasureiam]

Thanks for the bump 4YP. Hopefully the thread will be helpful to someone

It is.

 

[stickygirl]

I have an out of left field question...mainly because I'm cooking.

Besides the obvious...have you noticed changes since you've gone through your surgery...not just the physical and hormonal, but things like tastes. For example, do you now like spicy food when before you didn't. Or crave chocolate (being stereotypical here) instead of beer? Do you sweat differently? Smell things differently? Things like that.

Oooo good questions Brad!

Hmm...*thinks* I think I noticed more changes when I started my hormone therapy: so yea, my sense of smell improved along with emotional changes, along with the subtle physical ones, like my hair getting thicker and my skin getting much softer But have my tastes changed as a result of surgery... nah... if I think of something I'll come back to you. My male hormone levels were the same as a cis-gender woman beforehand anyway.
Good thing is that I now take fewer pills: no spiro and only half the dose of estradiol. Maybe I get drunk quicker? But haven't drunk much since I left Uni.
I do have a craving for meat on the bone but nothing new there