Ask a MtF TG a question

[4yourpleasureiam]

I don't think castration anxiety has anything to do with it. It's a fear of failing in the 'manliness' department, specifically by appearing to be 'gay'. Toxic masculinity says that if it has a dick, it's a man, and real (i.e. straight) men don't look at or (god forbid!) touch other men's dicks. Homosexuality has always been associated with effeminacy - taking the passive role, being limp-wristed or swishy, etc. So 'trans panic' or 'gay panic' is an insecurity-based reaction to a perceived attack on one's masculinity by implying homosexuality (i.e. liking dick), and violence is a legitimate ('manly') response. For men who have trans girlfriends, the minute it's found out they have to disavow and dump them.

It's fucking pathetic.

I agree with you. That would be pretty pathetic and the girl would be better off without the shallow bastard. I can not imagine loving someone but dumping them over what someone else might think. That would be a living hell for so long. Like a lifetime of worrying about others before yourself or the ones you love.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Bramblethorn,

Probably somebody has some statistics on the incidence of violence, discrimination, and associated depression within the two populations. I know it's a rough road for both groups, but perhaps even more so for MtF folks.

There are some numbers around, but nothing that I'd consider very reliable. In particular, although the "one in twelve trans women will be murdered" claim gets quoted a lot, I've never been able to find a source for it.

Collecting this sort of data is really, really hard: you're dealing with a rare population who may not be eager to out themselves and who may not be clearly defined (are genderqueer people trans?) The usual rigorous methods for getting stats (run a sample survey) aren't viable because you'd need a huge survey in order to find enough trans people to get decent data.

Probably the best data I've seen on the matter is the (US) National Transgender Discrimination Survey. That's still a self-selected survey, which can cause a lot of biases - e.g. people who've experienced discrimination may be more likely to respond (but people who've been murdered, obviously, won't be responding at all). But I don't know of a practical way to get better data; it's just a really hard problem.

 

[stickygirl]

Probably the best data I've seen on the matter is the (US) National Transgender Discrimination Survey. That's still a self-selected survey, which can cause a lot of biases - e.g. people who've experienced discrimination may be more likely to respond (but people who've been murdered, obviously, won't be responding at all). But I don't know of a practical way to get better data; it's just a really hard problem.

Lets hope this will produce some. In the UK we have a parliamentary enquiry going on... sorry I'll post the link later.

To keep things cheered up here's a hot viking
http://41.media.tumblr.com/976518fa4da587f5914743bb14725c50/tumblr_nsl7mpnIPk1rmbejio1_500.jpg because it's first thing in the morning and you sometimes need a viking to start the day right

 

[haurni]

To keep things cheered up here's a hot viking because it's first thing in the morning and you sometimes need a viking to start the day right

 

[BradBigBrain]

Sex Reassignment - US companies providing as a benefit

The times they are a-changin'

 

[stickygirl]

Sex Reassignment - US companies providing as a benefit

The times they are a-changin'

... and not before time. I'm glad to see the article is well balanced and highlights more than once, that the need for insurance cover is rare 1:20,000. Even the surgeon claiming he has a rush of new patients is still talking about comparatively low numbers. Nobody wants to transition: they have to.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Lets hope this will produce some. In the UK we have a parliamentary enquiry going on... sorry I'll post the link later.

To keep things cheered up here's a hot viking
http://41.media.tumblr.com/976518fa4da587f5914743bb14725c50/tumblr_nsl7mpnIPk1rmbejio1_500.jpg because it's first thing in the morning and you sometimes need a viking to start the day right

Improbably hot viking!

I've noticed Laverne Cox has been campaigning for the US Census to count trans people. Wouldn't be easy, but I'd love to see that happen; censuses are one of the most effective ways to reach rare subpopulations.

 

[stickygirl]

^^ the more fact the better. Yes, census material will help.

Here's a good read. Articles like this are gradually becoming mainstream. *sigh* oh well - on paper is one thing, the real world is still a long way from improving.

One sentence stuck in my mind
"Rather than trying to normalize queer people, we could recognize that no one is normal."

 

[haurni]

"Rather than trying to normalize queer people, we could recognize that no one is normal."

Agreed.

There's 'normal' in the sense of 'most people do it (and it's therefore socially acceptable)' and there's 'normal' in the sense of 'there is always be a certain percentage of the population that do it, even though that percentage may be small'. That a certain percentage of the population is gay, or transgender, or has red hair, or is left-handed, is normal even if it isn't the majority.

 

[Halen]

Been with a ftm never a mtf although im not opposed to being with one.
ya no? Sorry

 

[stickygirl]

Agreed.

There's 'normal' in the sense of 'most people do it (and it's therefore socially acceptable)' and there's 'normal' in the sense of 'there is always be a certain percentage of the population that do it, even though that percentage may be small'. That a certain percentage of the population is gay, or transgender, or has red hair, or is left-handed, is normal even if it isn't the majority.

You can lulled into the LGBT bubble: thinking that everyone is open-minded and accepting... then you get flattened by the juggernaut of bigotry and prejudice.

Been with a ftm never a mtf although im not opposed to being with one.
ya no? Sorry

Really?? I'm surprised, almost to the point of wondering if you have those acronyms the right way around? Apologies either way - there is a mainstream desire for male-to-female transgender women ( usually with all the working male bits )

 

[Tio_Narratore]

The "normal" originally was an absolute, but with the emergence of democracy, the absolute became less clear. The newly independent USA recognized this, and enshrined protection of individuals against the collectivity in the Bill of Rights. People still wanted to know what was "normal," though, and got help from two sources - psychology, on the one hand, re-establishing the absolutist "normal" by having a committee decide what was normal, and statistics, on the other, defining "normalcy" by mean, mode, or majority.

What we seem to have missed from Darwin, though, is that complete change in world view that would see diversity as the normal rather than similarity as the normal. Without diversity, there can be no change, no adaptation.

In my field, Anthropology, we recognize that what we all have in common is being different.

 

[stickygirl]

Thanks Tio
Anthropologists are a noble bunch

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Thanks Tio
Anthropologists are a noble bunch

Thanks, sticky. I don't know if we're always noble, but we do tend to be a bunch at least.

 

[Halen]

You can lulled into the LGBT bubble: thinking that everyone is open-minded and accepting... then you get flattened by the juggernaut of bigotry and prejudice.



Really?? I'm surprised, almost to the point of wondering if you have those acronyms the right way around? Apologies either way - there is a mainstream desire for male-to-female transgender women ( usually with all the working male bits )

Oh i know the desire well, and yes im sure ftM.

 

[stickygirl]

I'm trans, yea I've always been trans - I know I'm a woman.... it sounds so easy doesn't it? People ask 'well how do you know' and I reply 'well, you just do' - like it's an obvious thing. But it isn't.

I often find myself thinking of lines from Matrix, which has more than a coincidental link to the transgender world:
"Morpheus: What you know you can't explain, but you feel it. You've felt it your entire life, that there's something wrong with the world. You don't know what it is, but it's there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad. "

The point I'm trying to make is that the decision to transition is a step of faith and that is something so very difficult to explain or put into words. It isn't black and white and it isn't a perfect solution. It's about knowing yourself and growing yourself in an environment that suits best and for me, a female-based environment fits best: it lets me express myself, communicate, think and feel in the way that matches who I am.

So often I read comments, both here on Lit and elsewhere, that we're deranged, mentally ill, misguided, chasing a fashion or just perverts. Those comments never have any sting because they are so misinformed, so far off the mark that they are less laughable than pitiable: lazy thinking at its worst.

Anyway... the reason for this sudden outburst of philosophical navel gazing was another great video from Grishno, who has a gift for saying exactly the right thing. Here's her vid - How to know if you're trans

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Witnessing two friends transitioning of late, one trans man and one trans woman.

Curious question, though. Is it common for trans women to undergo castration prior to the main surgery or in lieu of it, keeping the penis but removing the testicles?

 

[stickygirl]

Witnessing two friends transitioning of late, one trans man and one trans woman.

Curious question, though. Is it common for trans women to undergo castration prior to the main surgery or in lieu of it, keeping the penis but removing the testicles?

Orchidectomy sounds nicer doesn't it? Umm... it varies, depending on what an individual might want from transitioning or what medical route is appropriate.

Some might not be sure that they want a vagina, but they don't want to take drugs to block testosterone in the meantime, so they're kicking the final surgery down the road a bit. Some might not mind keeping a penis - certainly in doing so, they avoid all the faff of after-surgery care, which is pretty time-consuming at first.

The main reason is to cut down on T-blockers because the long-term side effects can be harmful.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Not to mention getting used to changes to the urethra, I suppose and a higher risk of UTIs....

That makes sense, especially in terms of cutting down the need for T blockers....pills that actually prevent the production of testosterone, I gather that you mean, am I correct?

 

[stickygirl]

Not to mention getting used to changes to the urethra, I suppose and a higher risk of UTIs....

That makes sense, especially in terms of cutting down the need for T blockers....pills that actually prevent the production of testosterone, I gather that you mean, am I correct?

That's right. Spironolactone is the most common drug used as part of a broader program that will include estrogen boosting drugs. It isn't actually a 'transgender' drug but is a potassium saving diuretic and often used for people after heart attacks to prevent permanent damage to heart muscles. No one wants to take pills and since trans women normally wouldn't want to keep their testicles, then most would prefer to remove them.

ETA
I'd forgotten that orchidectomies need to be carried out with extra care if a later surgery is planned: there needs to be enough spare skin to complete a vaginoplasty
The drug regime needs to be fine-tuned to the individual. I don't need spiro now but some folks still do, because testosterone is produced elsewhere in the body. But as I said, it's about reducing the need for so many pills.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Ah, I see...***** is never simple, is it? Just to become on the outside what you are on the inside takes a lot of work.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

You can lulled into the LGBT bubble: thinking that everyone is open-minded and accepting... then you get flattened by the juggernaut of bigotry and prejudice.


So very true. When I go from talking to like-minded folks to talking to my family, it's quite a contrast.

 

[haurni]

Here's a good read. Articles like this are gradually becoming mainstream. *sigh* oh well - on paper is one thing, the real world is still a long way from improving.

A related article - 6 Things Every Man Who Dates Trans Women Needs to Know.

 

[stickygirl]

A related article - 6 Things Every Man Who Dates Trans Women Needs to Know.

"We live in a world that says trans women don’t deserve love, and it will try to stop you from loving us."
ain't that the truth of it?
Thanks H - a bit upsetting but hey

 

[haurni]

"We live in a world that says trans women don’t deserve love, and it will try to stop you from loving us."
ain't that the truth of it?
Thanks H - a bit upsetting but hey

The world needs a big smack upside the head, as they say in America.