Ask-a-Dom/me

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

Why hint around....as someone noted in another thread? Some are complaining that we don't get enough feedback from our Dom/mely ones. Well....Here ya go.

Post a question. Let's see if our Dom/mes feel like indulging us. I, for one, am interested to see what kinds of questions end up here, and who comes out of the hinterlands to answer them *grin*.

~anelize

 

[rosco rathbone]

I got one----what is up with that ponytail/goatee/black vest/white shirt/knee-high boots look?

 

[ethereal~minx]

awww, is this for me? this is too kind--- thank you : )
*i hope*

 

[ethereal~minx]

I started to feel like I uh pissed someone off or something--- and I don't need to be taking this place personal so I won't worry about it but---if I have, don't be afraid--- just tell me, it's obviously a misunderstanding that can be worked out---if you're willing.

and rosco~~ I don't know what's up w/ that look, but it's appealing to me~~~
for some reason I feel like I'm steppin on some toes ----but it's not like I interact with any of you in pm or otherwise--- so sheesh, if it's me--- let me have it

 

[ethereal~minx]

here's a couple questions

before you realized or became aware that there is this awesome world of d/s~~ where there can be levels of formality to dominance/submission--
how did you dominate in your relationships? or did you?

Were you ever in a relationship where you both knew you were dominant~ the other knew he/she was submissive but you as the dominant established boundaries & set up rules by behavior & not words?
I realize this is not very clear but neither are my thoughts...

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

I started to feel like I uh pissed someone off or something--- and I don't need to be taking this place personal so I won't worry about it but---if I have, don't be afraid--- just tell me, it's obviously a misunderstanding that can be worked out---if you're willing.

No misunderstandings. I thought your question was a good one, and deserving a place to be asked, where it wouldn't get lost in the clutter.

Nothing personal.

~anelize, who shall now go back into lurk mode.

 

[catalina_francisco]

What is the one thing which makes a sub/slave stand out (positively) from the rest you have encountered along the way?

Cat

 

[ethereal~minx]

No misunderstandings. I thought your question was a good one, and deserving a place to be asked, where it wouldn't get lost in the clutter.

Nothing personal.

~anelize, who shall now go back into lurk mode.

Yep, I thought you were just tryin to make me look baad by using my words in the way you did~~ but it was my misunderstanding, to be sure.

Nonetheless, you are very good with words Anelize~~~ you'd be a good political speech writer

 

[snoozebutton]

What is the one thing which makes a sub/slave stand out (positively) from the rest you have encountered along the way?

Cat

The willingness to bring me an idea or new kink and help me to make it a reality. It is quite hard to know what secret desires your submissive may have in her devilish mind. And I enjoy having my horizons broadened to a lot more that the lifestyle has to offer. It's not topping from the bottom to share your thoughts and desires with your Dom. And I for one love my submissives opening up all they have inside to me.

 

[catalina_francisco]

The willingness to bring me an idea or new kink and help me to make it a reality. It is quite hard to know what secret desires your submissive may have in her devilish mind. And I enjoy having my horizons broadened to a lot more that the lifestyle has to offer. It's not topping from the bottom to share your thoughts and desires with your Dom. And I for one love my submissives opening up all they have inside to me.

Sounds fair enough. I think if a submissive is unable to share those deep parts of themselves, the relationship is going to flounder somewhere. Of course is goes without saying that the Dominant then has the power to decide whether to act on the submissive thoughts and revelations, or whether to let it go unaddressed. There are often good reasons to not fulfil the expressed thought, and explanation of that can be a good trust foundation.

Catalina

 

[snoozebutton]

Sounds fair enough. I think if a submissive is unable to share those deep parts of themselves, the relationship is going to flounder somewhere. Of course is goes without saying that the Dominant then has the power to decide whether to act on the submissive thoughts and revelations, or whether to let it go unaddressed. There are often good reasons to not fulfil the expressed thought, and explanation of that can be a good trust foundation.

Catalina

True, I know some things will stay in the realm of fantasy. But just glad I was told those things so I can become a better Dominant to them.

 

[WriterDom]

What is the one thing which makes a sub/slave stand out (positively) from the rest you have encountered along the way?

Cat

They all bring special and unique gifts. With each of them, I can enter the palace in my mind and revisit unparalleled memories frozen in time. I hope to meet someone who does stand out. And I think it is only a matter of time. Life has a way of sending you what you need once you are ready to accept it.

 

[catalina_francisco]

They all bring special and unique gifts. With each of them, I can enter the palace in my mind and revisit unparalleled memories frozen in time. I hope to meet someone who does stand out. And I think it is only a matter of time. Life has a way of sending you what you need once you are ready to accept it.

And we are living proof that last sentence is true.

Catalina

 

[TNRkitect2b]

Re: here's a couple questions

before you realized or became aware that there is this awesome world of d/s~~ where there can be levels of formality to dominance/submission--
how did you dominate in your relationships? or did you?

Were you ever in a relationship where you both knew you were dominant~ the other knew he/she was submissive but you as the dominant established boundaries & set up rules by behavior & not words?
I realize this is not very clear but neither are my thoughts...

As this is two questions, i'll answer each in turn, but they are closely interrelated.

At first thought, I didn't think I dominated in earlier, pre-realization relationships. However, upon retrospection, I realize that ALL of my past relationships have been with submissives... or at least, submissive to me. Every girl/woman that I have dated has assumed a submissive role to me, even if in their past relationships they may have had the dominate role.
I can look back now and see how as a trend, my Dom tendencies asserted themselves in the relationship, with me as the Dom. Each time that it broke up, it was either because I grew tired of the relationship and ended it or there were incompatibilities in the relationship that I decided weren't worth the hassle of trying to overcome.

As for us both knowing I was dominant yet the rule being set through action, my answer is both yes and no.
It has not been until the last year or so that I was able to pin a label on my tastes and behavior. So in that instance, there was no way for me to know that I was a Dom, as I didn't have an inkling of it's existence.
Yet my yes part of the answer is that in all of my relationships in the past, I assumed the Dominant role automatically, with no discussion or negotiation of power. It just was the way it was. As such, I did not set forth formal rules, but I did make the things that pleased me known to my girlfriends, and by their submissive natures (see previous answer) they accepted my likes and dislikes as rules to follow, so as to please me.

I hope this was what you were looking for Ethereal!

 

[TNRkitect2b]

What is the one thing which makes a sub/slave stand out (positively) from the rest you have encountered along the way?

Cat

As for this question, I'm afraid my answer is simple.
My current slave is the first one that I have had since I discovered the lifestyle of d/s. Therefore, she stands out because she is the first with whom I have formaly entered into a D/s type relationship. for more background, see my previous answers to Ethereal~minx's questions.

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

There have been threads about submissive/slave's ever growing masochistic limits....a constant need for more, different, pushing the envelope of pain and humiliation (for those who have a need for that).

What about the growth of a Dom/me's sadistic limits?

~anelize

 

[TNRkitect2b]

There have been threads about submissive/slave's ever growing masochistic limits....a constant need for more, different, pushing the envelope of pain and humiliation (for those who have a need for that).

What about the growth of a Dom/me's sadistic limits?

~anelize

hmmm.... I'll take a stab at this one as well, as it is a topic that has been discussed between my slave and I.

I do have some limits now on things that I have a hard time doing. She, on the other hand, has quite a bit more experience as a slave, and has very few limits, none of them hard.
Some of the things that she enjoys , are currently a limit for me, such as choking, or something that I have no experience with, such as use of a single tail.
Yet I know that these are things that I will approach at my own time and pace, as I grow in my role as her Master. Some I may never feel comfortable doing, but others are things that I wish to do, but need to be taught the proper technique.

For those that are wondering how I can be a Master to one that is quite experienced, it is because I am one of the very few that have been able to get inside her head, and make her immediately enter sub/slave space. I control the mind, and the physical skills will come with practice.
I see my journey as one of growth for myself as well as for her.

Hope my inexperience in this matter does not make my input any less valid.

 

[Singularity]

What Makes A Submissive Stand Out

By Catalina: What is the one thing which makes a sub/slave stand out (positively) from the rest you have encountered along the way?

For me, it is when she does more than is required of her, when she has an assignment to perform on her own, without someone present to oversee her. Finding the delight in doing more than was asked, and seeking to exceed the expectations of her Dom, is always gratifying.

That, and knowing that she will be completely honest and confess any weakness or failure to comply with her orders, even to the smallest or slightest degree.

Together, they create magic.


Singularity

 

[Netzach]

What stands out to me is the way that every person moves along an arc of impenetrability to vulnerability in their own unique and beautiful, stirring way.

I groove on that. Some people grab me more than others as they do.

M's responses are particularly moving/sexy/powerful to me.

 

[James G 5]

I got one----what is up with that ponytail/goatee/black vest/white shirt/knee-high boots look?

Chicks tell me I look hot dressed that way?

 

[James G 5]

Re: here's a couple questions

before you realized or became aware that there is this awesome world of d/s~~ where there can be levels of formality to dominance/submission--
how did you dominate in your relationships? or did you?

Were you ever in a relationship where you both knew you were dominant~ the other knew he/she was submissive but you as the dominant established boundaries & set up rules by behavior & not words?
I realize this is not very clear but neither are my thoughts...

Well, to the first one, before I really "knew" about this I was in a few relationships where I took a more take-charge role...and then I met a girl who wanted to take it further, with me tieing her up, spanking her, etc etc
it felt very natural

 

[James G 5]

What is the one thing which makes a sub/slave stand out (positively) from the rest you have encountered along the way?

Cat

Hard to say as I've not had one last long term
But I am stil friends with most of my formers & can think of at least one god things about most of them...

 

[James G 5]

There have been threads about submissive/slave's ever growing masochistic limits....a constant need for more, different, pushing the envelope of pain and humiliation (for those who have a need for that).

What about the growth of a Dom/me's sadistic limits?

~anelize

I don't know about sadistic limits, but as a comfort level grows with one individual & you get to know & trust them more you can go further & I think most people are tempted to carry it further...
Certainly as I have explored this lifestyle I have found things that once horrified me that now interest me or are favorites (like fisting, WHEEE! ), and that's partly been due to being with people who enjoyed them

But I don't find a constant NEED for more/better/different
I LIKE new things and want to push further sometimes, but I don't NEED it and can still enjoy things that don't go so far

Altho it would be nice to have someone long term to grow & stretch with *sigh*

 

[A Desert Rose]

Why hint around....as someone noted in another thread? Some are complaining that we don't get enough feedback from our Dom/mely ones. Well....Here ya go.

Post a question. Let's see if our Dom/mes feel like indulging us. I, for one, am interested to see what kinds of questions end up here, and who comes out of the hinterlands to answer them *grin*.

~anelize

I beg your pardon, but I was not hinting at anything. My statements were not passive/agressive. I was the one doing the "complaining." I think I was very clear in my statements. And you can call it complaining if you choose to. In my opinion, it was a statement.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

I got one----what is up with that ponytail/goatee/black vest/white shirt/knee-high boots look?

Beats the shit out of me.

• last time i had hair long enough for a pony tail, i let it flow in a mane,
• have never worn a goatee, but have grown a full beard,
• haven't worn a vest, much less black, since my early 20s and that was with a three piece suit,
• will wear white button down dress shirts, but prefer ecru or bone,
• and have never worn boots that went past the tops of my calves.