lavender
Cautiously Optimistic
- Joined
- Apr 6, 2001
- Posts
- 25,108
Hello, this is Clarence (channeling through Lavy), your Lit Soap Opera commentator. Last time I checked in with you, it was ages ago. I do believe that Marxist had returned followed closely by Modest Mouse after their close escape from the military junta in Ecuador. Time has passed and things, they are a'changin.
Last time, on As the Lit Board Turns, we had immense scandal, hot steamy sex, some female hair-tuggin fights and much more. Unfortunately, since that last event, my entire record of the season update of the soap has mysteriously disappeared. I think the French subversives were making their mark on the soap opera with the overuse of that fucking Frog.
Well, anyhoo [added for annoying effect], let's get you updated on As The Lit Board Turns.
*lights dim*
In the past few months there have been some severe changes. We watched as the Soap Opera lost some of its usual kink when cymbidia left us. It was reported that the audience thought she was just slightly strong to play the show's ingenue with a twist of kink.
But, the Lit Board Turns and this role has been changed. Our audience felt like it was time for the head of kink, on the board, to be a little different. The ratings were going down and they thought we needed someone to spice things up. They replaced the female submissive with a male Dom and boy have things livened up. Lancecastor came to us, from up North, to replace that Pacific style of cym. We got rid of the sweetness and the long, semi-bossy rants of the former kink star of the show and we watched as Lance's character grew to much greater importance on the show. We'll get you updated on Lance's trials and tribulations in a little bit.
But, there's more to this show. The Lit Board Turns has had numerous people come in and out. The writers of the show realized that they needed to show a little more concern with the prevailing issues of the times. The understood the fervor against terrorism and the anti-Arab sentiment they felt by all, and decided it was time to bring a militaristic type character to the forefront of this amazing soap opera. We wouldn't want anyone else to get this idea first - and along came Hanns.
These are the most important developments as of late.
Oh, but there is conspiracy and scandal in the air. Ish, who was just released from rehab, forgot to take his medicine recently. (I think the writers are trying to copy the Days of Our Lives theme of demonic possession with this one). Ish is claiming that we have a vast web of conspiracy on the board. *gasp* Someone is here to fuck with all the people of Litsville and he's going to do something about it.
It looks like a good cop bad cop routine. Ish plays the good, yet paranoid cop, and tulip, well tulip plays the deranged character. (personally, I think tulip makes a great Dennis Franz - the writers, directors and producers at NYPD Blue are checking her out.)
There really isn't much more exciting right now.
The lavender storyline has been lackluster. The fans are just sick of her. The directors were thinking about axing her. They made some stupid storyline about pictures being exposed of her in compromising positions. Lavy did her typical Norma Desmond thing and couldn't face the world for a little while. She had to get away. The story showed her holed up in her home with a fridge full of 40s eating potato chips and acting like an even uncooler Bridget Jones. Since her stint away, she has become a rabid bitch - attacking anyone and anything. No more politics and intelligent discussion for Lavy, she has decided to make herself look like a fool in grandiose fashion. Who will she attack next? Will someone come and just fucking cap her in the ass already?
Love is in the air on As The Lit Board Turns. Olivianna has a mysterious new boyfriend. She had a crush on Lancecastor for awhile, but just a short month later, she was in love. Who could this man be? We'll we get to see them consumate her love? OR will some man who has been scorned come to ruin her relationship with her new love someday soon.
Sexy-girl is getting prepared for a new and possibly illustrious modeling career. You see, Bic pen company, has decided on a new strategy for advertising. They know that sex sells, so why can't sex sell school and office supplies too? We know that's where all the good sex happens, anyway.
Mischka thinks her cat is talking to her. What's the deal with these law students going bonkers in December?
Keep posted for the new and improved and totally long winded - As the Lit Board Turns - Take 2. In the future, since Clarence (channeling through Lavy) doesn't have to update so much, it should be much shorter.
Next episode:
Will Freya, Ruby and Lioness in Winter all join in a daisy chain for us?
Last time, on As the Lit Board Turns, we had immense scandal, hot steamy sex, some female hair-tuggin fights and much more. Unfortunately, since that last event, my entire record of the season update of the soap has mysteriously disappeared. I think the French subversives were making their mark on the soap opera with the overuse of that fucking Frog.
Well, anyhoo [added for annoying effect], let's get you updated on As The Lit Board Turns.
*lights dim*
In the past few months there have been some severe changes. We watched as the Soap Opera lost some of its usual kink when cymbidia left us. It was reported that the audience thought she was just slightly strong to play the show's ingenue with a twist of kink.
But, the Lit Board Turns and this role has been changed. Our audience felt like it was time for the head of kink, on the board, to be a little different. The ratings were going down and they thought we needed someone to spice things up. They replaced the female submissive with a male Dom and boy have things livened up. Lancecastor came to us, from up North, to replace that Pacific style of cym. We got rid of the sweetness and the long, semi-bossy rants of the former kink star of the show and we watched as Lance's character grew to much greater importance on the show. We'll get you updated on Lance's trials and tribulations in a little bit.
But, there's more to this show. The Lit Board Turns has had numerous people come in and out. The writers of the show realized that they needed to show a little more concern with the prevailing issues of the times. The understood the fervor against terrorism and the anti-Arab sentiment they felt by all, and decided it was time to bring a militaristic type character to the forefront of this amazing soap opera. We wouldn't want anyone else to get this idea first - and along came Hanns.
These are the most important developments as of late.
Oh, but there is conspiracy and scandal in the air. Ish, who was just released from rehab, forgot to take his medicine recently. (I think the writers are trying to copy the Days of Our Lives theme of demonic possession with this one). Ish is claiming that we have a vast web of conspiracy on the board. *gasp* Someone is here to fuck with all the people of Litsville and he's going to do something about it.
It looks like a good cop bad cop routine. Ish plays the good, yet paranoid cop, and tulip, well tulip plays the deranged character. (personally, I think tulip makes a great Dennis Franz - the writers, directors and producers at NYPD Blue are checking her out.)
There really isn't much more exciting right now.
The lavender storyline has been lackluster. The fans are just sick of her. The directors were thinking about axing her. They made some stupid storyline about pictures being exposed of her in compromising positions. Lavy did her typical Norma Desmond thing and couldn't face the world for a little while. She had to get away. The story showed her holed up in her home with a fridge full of 40s eating potato chips and acting like an even uncooler Bridget Jones. Since her stint away, she has become a rabid bitch - attacking anyone and anything. No more politics and intelligent discussion for Lavy, she has decided to make herself look like a fool in grandiose fashion. Who will she attack next? Will someone come and just fucking cap her in the ass already?
Love is in the air on As The Lit Board Turns. Olivianna has a mysterious new boyfriend. She had a crush on Lancecastor for awhile, but just a short month later, she was in love. Who could this man be? We'll we get to see them consumate her love? OR will some man who has been scorned come to ruin her relationship with her new love someday soon.
Sexy-girl is getting prepared for a new and possibly illustrious modeling career. You see, Bic pen company, has decided on a new strategy for advertising. They know that sex sells, so why can't sex sell school and office supplies too? We know that's where all the good sex happens, anyway.
Mischka thinks her cat is talking to her. What's the deal with these law students going bonkers in December?
Keep posted for the new and improved and totally long winded - As the Lit Board Turns - Take 2. In the future, since Clarence (channeling through Lavy) doesn't have to update so much, it should be much shorter.
Next episode:
Will Freya, Ruby and Lioness in Winter all join in a daisy chain for us?
