G
Guest
Guest
Emphasis to make it easy. - Perdita 
Jon Carroll, SF Chronicle, December 15, 2004
Oh dear me, I do love this story. It seems there was a woman named Janet Schoenberg who was evicted from her apartment in the East Village of New York City. (That would be your Greenwich Village, for those playing the game at home.) She felt that she had been unfairly evicted. She felt, in particular, that Judge Jerald R. Klein of the Housing Court had done her wrong. She made sundry attempts to draw attention to her case, all of them fruitless because really? Evictions in New York City are not exactly big news.
So Schoenberg decided to put Judge Klein up for sale on EBay. Of course, she did not own Judge Klein, so she could not have delivered him even if a purchaser had been found. The bidding went up to $127.50, which is a little low for a white-bearded jurist, particularly one with a terrifying grin. (I am going by a grainy news photo here, but it's an official portrait, and he looks pretty darned alarming.)
Well, naturally there was harrumphing. EBay spokesman Hani Durzy intoned that "you're not allowed to sell human remains or human beings on EBay." Don't you get the feeling that working for the media relations department at EBay must be like having your own private edition of the Onion? The last time EBay made the news, it was for selling a toasted cheese sandwich with an image of the Virgin Mary on its surface. "Miracle luncheon foods yes, white slavery no, says online retailer."
The sandwich fetched $28,000. Who knows what the judge would have pulled down, since the bidding was suspended after four days. Judge Klein was perhaps understandably incensed, although if someone were to put me up for sale on EBay, I'd at least wait to see what the bidding topped out at.
Here's the best part: The hoax was not discovered sooner because Schoenberg, instead of putting Judge Klein under "Mammals, Humans, Caucasians, Jurists" put him under "Sporting goods, archery, arrows, shafts." I believe my readers will be sensitive to the wordplay there.
The New York Times found "an expert in First Amendment law" named Devereux Chatillon to opine, "It doesn't look to me like a parody. It looks like angry commentary. And if it's based on statements that are wrong, it could be libelous." Look, Chatillon (and isn't that a French name?), the woman sold a judge on EBay. But of course, you can't sell a judge on EBay, and everyone knows that. What else could it be but parody? It may also have been angry commentary, but Judge Klein is a public figure. Maybe "expert in First Amendment law" means "tries to find ways to gut the First Amendment." That's protected speech, too, by the way. I am commenting on your comment. I get to do that.
Parody is traditionally a way by which the powerless get to annoy the powerful. It is supposed to level the playing field, although it doesn't -- I'm sure Janet Schoenberg would be happy to swap checking accounts with Judge Klein any old time. He has a home on Long Island; she has a studio apartment in the East Village, or rather she doesn't have a studio apartment in the East Village because Judge Klein was empowered to kick her out of it.
I have no opinion on the merits of that case. Janet Schoenberg may very well be guilty of whatever she was supposed to be guilty of. I'm just saying that what she did was a creative response to a perceived injustice. Everyone should perhaps loosen up a bit.
EBay might even want to consider the sale of the odd professional man now and then. Wouldn't you like to have a doctor who was on call 24 hours a day because he lived in your spare bedroom? Well, me, too. Let's think outside the box. (Actually, since everyone is now thinking outside the box, it might be best to try thinking inside the box. At least it would be quieter in there. But I digress)
Jon Carroll, SF Chronicle, December 15, 2004
Oh dear me, I do love this story. It seems there was a woman named Janet Schoenberg who was evicted from her apartment in the East Village of New York City. (That would be your Greenwich Village, for those playing the game at home.) She felt that she had been unfairly evicted. She felt, in particular, that Judge Jerald R. Klein of the Housing Court had done her wrong. She made sundry attempts to draw attention to her case, all of them fruitless because really? Evictions in New York City are not exactly big news.
So Schoenberg decided to put Judge Klein up for sale on EBay. Of course, she did not own Judge Klein, so she could not have delivered him even if a purchaser had been found. The bidding went up to $127.50, which is a little low for a white-bearded jurist, particularly one with a terrifying grin. (I am going by a grainy news photo here, but it's an official portrait, and he looks pretty darned alarming.)
Well, naturally there was harrumphing. EBay spokesman Hani Durzy intoned that "you're not allowed to sell human remains or human beings on EBay." Don't you get the feeling that working for the media relations department at EBay must be like having your own private edition of the Onion? The last time EBay made the news, it was for selling a toasted cheese sandwich with an image of the Virgin Mary on its surface. "Miracle luncheon foods yes, white slavery no, says online retailer."
The sandwich fetched $28,000. Who knows what the judge would have pulled down, since the bidding was suspended after four days. Judge Klein was perhaps understandably incensed, although if someone were to put me up for sale on EBay, I'd at least wait to see what the bidding topped out at.
Here's the best part: The hoax was not discovered sooner because Schoenberg, instead of putting Judge Klein under "Mammals, Humans, Caucasians, Jurists" put him under "Sporting goods, archery, arrows, shafts." I believe my readers will be sensitive to the wordplay there.
The New York Times found "an expert in First Amendment law" named Devereux Chatillon to opine, "It doesn't look to me like a parody. It looks like angry commentary. And if it's based on statements that are wrong, it could be libelous." Look, Chatillon (and isn't that a French name?), the woman sold a judge on EBay. But of course, you can't sell a judge on EBay, and everyone knows that. What else could it be but parody? It may also have been angry commentary, but Judge Klein is a public figure. Maybe "expert in First Amendment law" means "tries to find ways to gut the First Amendment." That's protected speech, too, by the way. I am commenting on your comment. I get to do that.
Parody is traditionally a way by which the powerless get to annoy the powerful. It is supposed to level the playing field, although it doesn't -- I'm sure Janet Schoenberg would be happy to swap checking accounts with Judge Klein any old time. He has a home on Long Island; she has a studio apartment in the East Village, or rather she doesn't have a studio apartment in the East Village because Judge Klein was empowered to kick her out of it.
I have no opinion on the merits of that case. Janet Schoenberg may very well be guilty of whatever she was supposed to be guilty of. I'm just saying that what she did was a creative response to a perceived injustice. Everyone should perhaps loosen up a bit.
EBay might even want to consider the sale of the odd professional man now and then. Wouldn't you like to have a doctor who was on call 24 hours a day because he lived in your spare bedroom? Well, me, too. Let's think outside the box. (Actually, since everyone is now thinking outside the box, it might be best to try thinking inside the box. At least it would be quieter in there. But I digress)
