Arse kissing ...

[WillowPuss]

Ohhhhh Lady, You are so beautiful I wish to fall at Your feet.

My Lord, You speak so masterfully that I tremble at the thought.

Mistress ... Your hair is like spun silk ...

Master - that shirt shows Your manly chest to perfection!




Dom/mes - do You ever get such lines from complete strangers? On the occasions I strayed into chat rooms, and even on some threads here at Lit, there seems to be a profusion of 'submissives' making such proclamations.

When I first dipped my big toe into the world of BDSM, and had no reality on which to base what I was seeing, I wondered if this was an accepted way of attracting a Dom/me - but found I couldn't do it. It gave me the giggles ... and I kept thinking of the old Fairy Tale - Little Red Riding Hood saying "Ohhhhhhhhh Granny - what big teeth you have".



so .... Does any Dom/me actually like this approach?

Subs - will anyone admit to even trying such an approach?



(psssssssttttttt .... Master .... I really like the way you do your hair! But thats only cos I cut it for You myself!

 

[Richard49]

In real time and life
I would like to hear some shit like this

My ego needs to be feed

here on the internet
it has little value

and if in RT it is ongoing and phoney
I would kick the person to the curb

 

[Shadowsdream]

Compliments given in sincerity are appreciated if they are well chosen and spaced far enough apart to be believable.
I believe in good manners and when complimented always say thank you...until....I find Myself bored with saying thank you in every sentence...then it simply becomes annoying and dishonest..because by then I am bored and not thankful at all.
As I have said many times..when I want My ass kissed I will say so.
My ego does not need stroking nor My confidence boosting.

 

[SexyChele]

I think what you see in chatrooms, especially those not related to a BDSM site, is pretty pathetic. You have people who know little to nothing about what BDSM truly is. They get turned on by the images they've seen, or stories they've read, or the desire to be either submissive or Dominant. They like the "romance" of it all. The reality escapes them.

When I've wandered into chatrooms (and the rooms here at Lit are really funny if you get a chance to check them out - I think there are two rooms devoted to BDSM), I see subs praising Doms, and Doms soaking it up. It's fake - or at least it sounds fake to me. But these are usually people in relationships that they feel are missing "something", and that "something" they think is BDSM. It's sad, really. But, unfortunately, it does work in chatrooms. Play up to a Dom, compliment them over and over, defer to them online, and the next thing ya know you are being told to put "I am the collared submissive of LordMagicFire." (Don't ask me where the collar is - I think it lives in their imagination)

Compliments are always nice to receive. But I agree wholeheartedly with Shadowsdream. As a writer, I am confronted sometimes with readers who send feedback. I always responde with a "thank you", and have had these turn into multiple emails where they go on and on and on and on about my "virtues". They eventually get blocked. I can't deal with the insincerity.

For me, the best compliments are the ones that come from my friends and people I know. People that know just how much of a bitch I can be, and yet still find something nice to compliment me on. Now that is priceless!

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Someone called me 'neat' last night. That one, I believe. I don't buy it when someone is metaphorically 'slobbing my knob', it just comes off as being phony. I'm [i[not[/i] perfect, or wonderful beyond words, or the man of anyone's dreams. I AM a pretty cool guy with a good sense of humor, and some imagination when it comes to BDSM play. I'm no Eb, though...

 

[Ebonyfire]

Yes I do, and I do not go into chat rooms. I get what I call "messages out of the blue" to which I hit the ignore button, or if I am feeling especially bitchy, I leave them with a hearty "fuck off" or "kiss my black ass".

Ohhhhh Lady, You are so beautiful I wish to fall at Your feet.

My Lord, You speak so masterfully that I tremble at the thought.

Mistress ... Your hair is like spun silk ...

Master - that shirt shows Your manly chest to perfection!




Dom/mes - do You ever get such lines from complete strangers? On the occasions I strayed into chat rooms, and even on some threads here at Lit, there seems to be a profusion of 'submissives' making such proclamations.

When I first dipped my big toe into the world of BDSM, and had no reality on which to base what I was seeing, I wondered if this was an accepted way of attracting a Dom/me - but found I couldn't do it. It gave me the giggles ... and I kept thinking of the old Fairy Tale - Little Red Riding Hood saying "Ohhhhhhhhh Granny - what big teeth you have".



so .... Does any Dom/me actually like this approach?

Subs - will anyone admit to even trying such an approach?



(psssssssttttttt .... Master .... I really like the way you do your hair! But thats only cos I cut it for You myself!

 

[kayte]

I think what you see in chatrooms, especially those not related to a BDSM site, is pretty pathetic. You have people who know little to nothing about what BDSM truly is. They get turned on by the images they've seen, or stories they've read, or the desire to be either submissive or Dominant. They like the "romance" of it all. The reality escapes them.

When I've wandered into chatrooms (and the rooms here at Lit are really funny if you get a chance to check them out - I think there are two rooms devoted to BDSM), I see subs praising Doms, and Doms soaking it up. It's fake - or at least it sounds fake to me. But these are usually people in relationships that they feel are missing "something", and that "something" they think is BDSM. It's sad, really. But, unfortunately, it does work in chatrooms. Play up to a Dom, compliment them over and over, defer to them online, and the next thing ya know you are being told to put "I am the collared submissive of LordMagicFire." (Don't ask me where the collar is - I think it lives in their imagination)

Compliments are always nice to receive. But I agree wholeheartedly with Shadowsdream. As a writer, I am confronted sometimes with readers who send feedback. I always responde with a "thank you", and have had these turn into multiple emails where they go on and on and on and on about my "virtues". They eventually get blocked. I can't deal with the insincerity.

For me, the best compliments are the ones that come from my friends and people I know. People that know just how much of a bitch I can be, and yet still find something nice to compliment me on. Now that is priceless!

SexyChele ~ I agree for the most part the chat rooms here on Lit are 'entertainment'.

I got lucky over a year and a half ago. I met someone there, in the BDSM room. We moved to email, voice chat, telephone and have been together in real life. The joys of being 'geographicaly challenged'. I just need to find a job down there......

In any case, it can happen, but from what I see when I go back and visit it is rare to say the least. It takes a lot of work. It is worth it.

You are so right about so much of it in the chat rooms being too much of the romance and fantasy picked up from writings or books. It is so funny to me how Gor raises it head now and then. Those may have been interesting fantasy books. They remind me of the Lensman SF series long ago. Those I did read while younger. I did read the first couple Gor books, and that is what they reminded me of.

True compliments are wonderful to give and to receive. As you said those from friends and people who know you are the ones of value, and provide delight.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Compliments given in sincerity are appreciated if they are well chosen and spaced far enough apart to be believable.
I believe in good manners and when complimented always say thank you...until....I find Myself bored with saying thank you in every sentence...then it simply becomes annoying and dishonest..because by then I am bored and not thankful at all.
As I have said many times..when I want My ass kissed I will say so.
My ego does not need stroking nor My confidence boosting.

Preach it, sister!

 

[Ebonyfire]

Someone called me 'neat' last night. That one, I believe. I don't buy it when someone is metaphorically 'slobbing my knob', it just comes off as being phony. I'm [i[not[/i] perfect, or wonderful beyond words, or the man of anyone's dreams. I AM a pretty cool guy with a good sense of humor, and some imagination when it comes to BDSM play. I'm no Eb, though...

Even Eb is no Eb. The people who really know me (and there are some here on Lit who do) know who and what I am and what I stand for. Others make their own judgments based on their own opinion or prejudices.

So a lot of flattery means nothing cause it does not relate to reality.

 

[SexyChele]

SexyChele ~ I agree for the most part the chat rooms here on Lit are 'entertainment'.

I got lucky over a year and a half ago. I met someone there, in the BDSM room. We moved to email, voice chat, telephone and have been together in real life. The joys of being 'geographicaly challenged'. I just need to find a job down there......

In any case, it can happen, but from what I see when I go back and visit it is rare to say the least. It takes a lot of work. It is worth it.

You are so right about so much of it in the chat rooms being too much of the romance and fantasy picked up from writings or books. It is so funny to me how Gor raises it head now and then. Those may have been interesting fantasy books. They remind me of the Lensman SF series long ago. Those I did read while younger. I did read the first couple Gor books, and that is what they reminded me of.

True compliments are wonderful to give and to receive. As you said those from friends and people who know you are the ones of value, and provide delight.

Hi Kayte!

Yes, I remember when I first started going to the Lit chatrooms almost 2 years ago. I was witness to a few couples actually hooking up and making it real. But when I go in there now, I don't know, maybe it's just different people or my own attitude. I don't pick up on the same vibes that were there when I first wandered in.

And you are SO right about this Gor thing! I mean, it's like reading a couple of Star Trek books, and thinking there is truly an Enterprise sailing through space! I wandered into a few Gor sites, just to see what they were like. Gor people take that stuff seriously! I entered as a "guest" and some fool "collared" me. When I told him off in the room, I was told slaves didn't behave that way, and I stood a chance of being banned. I told him where he could shove it and haven't been back. Not for me - I'll just stick to regular BDSM. There's enough kink in that to suit me!

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Even Eb is no Eb. The people who really know me (and there are some here on Lit who do) know who and what I am and what I stand for. Others make their own judgments based on their own opinion or prejudices.

So a lot of flattery means nothing cause it does not relate to reality.

LOL, I was wondering if you would see that! Kind of hard to be throwing around compliments to strangers, especially online. There are only a few people who know me well enough to say certain things to me. Perception isn't always reality, after all.


You are pretty cool, Eb, I know that much.

 

[kayte]

Hi Kayte!

Yes, I remember when I first started going to the Lit chatrooms almost 2 years ago. I was witness to a few couples actually hooking up and making it real. But when I go in there now, I don't know, maybe it's just different people or my own attitude. I don't pick up on the same vibes that were there when I first wandered in.

And you are SO right about this Gor thing! I mean, it's like reading a couple of Star Trek books, and thinking there is truly an Enterprise sailing through space! I wandered into a few Gor sites, just to see what they were like. Gor people take that stuff seriously! I entered as a "guest" and some fool "collared" me. When I told him off in the room, I was told slaves didn't behave that way, and I stood a chance of being banned. I told him where he could shove it and haven't been back. Not for me - I'll just stick to regular BDSM. There's enough kink in that to suit me!

Hi SC ~ I was tempted to go chat and say hi after making the post. I am in chat even now. There are some new people and some of the 'old guard' too. It is a entertaining for a bit.

Wish I had seen that. When you went to the gor site. They are a bit full of themselves, in the gor places, aren't they? I agree there is plenty in 'regular' BDSM. Whatever it is 'regular' means.

 

[Ebonyfire]

LOL, I was wondering if you would see that! Kind of hard to be throwing around compliments to strangers, especially online. There are only a few people who know me well enough to say certain things to me. Perception isn't always reality, after all.


You are pretty cool, Eb, I know that much.

Thanks.

Eb <who knows how to take a compliment and then shut the fuck up!>

 

[cellis]

I have never felt the need to be anything other than myself. There have been a few dominants that I have met that I have shown respect for... but I don't think I am suck up.

If I say something complimentary to someone it is because I feel that way. There is no other reason.

I have only been in the chat room on alt.com for my area. I found it difficult to follow the conversation and they did not seem too open to new people so I only went a couple of time.

Now, where does one find the chat rooms on Lit? I have never seen any...

 

[SexyChele]

I have only been in the chat room on alt.com for my area. I found it difficult to follow the conversation and they did not seem too open to new people so I only went a couple of time.

Now, where does one find the chat rooms on Lit? I have never seen any...

Hi Cellis!

I, too, tried the chatrooms at alt.com and found the same thing - people were not overly friendly and very cliquish. I think if you go there every night and people just see your name pop up, it might be different. Then again, the few times I went there, I had Doms who were having conversations with me before I knew their sub was right there. That makes me a bit uncomfortable. You never know who is paired up with who!

To get to the Lit chat room, click the "Story Indext" at the bottom of this page. The second choice on the menu is "Live chat", or something like that. You will need to register a name there as well. Your normal Lit nick won't automatically get you in. (But you might be able to use the same name) Once you've registered and logged in, you will be taken into the chat area. There are several rooms that are there all the time and serve distinct purposes: Lounge = general convos, Family = incestuous fantasies, Syds Hot Tub = general socializing/flirting, D/s = self-explanatory for those here, BDSM Social Club = a less formal BDSM chat.

The D/s room was taken off for a while, and I'm not certain why. It is now back on, but doesn't normally have that many people. Quite frankly? It's dull and boring. There used to be (this might all be different now) a few people who "held court" over that room, and they insisted on proper protocol at all times. Also, anyone who wandered in who was 'nilla was asked to either observe the "rituals" or leave. (Possibly a reason why the room was taken off the boards for a while) The BDSM Social Club still has people that are more into BDSM, but it's a more relaxed atmosphere. Also, if you come in saying "hello", others will normally respond. There are little political groups and cliques - when aren't there? - but overall, if you hit it at a good time, it can be fun.

 

[MissTaken]

Chat rooms, in general, are funny entertainment for me. I have a couple I visit on trivia night!

But as for the other role playing and all that, I don't bother. However, there are people who's kink is chat room behavior, playing out their fantasy of BDSM and in their interpretation. It may not look a thing like my interpretation, but to each his own.

Of course, my kink probably doesn't look like many of yours either.

*shrugs*

Now, as for compliments.
When in scene and floating deeply, I am very grateful and it may seem superficial to someone not "in the know." However, at that point, I feel exactly what I am saying.

"Your cock is beautiful" may sound trite on a porn flick, but when servicing a Dominant and deeply enmeshed in the D/s, I mean it.

 

[RandomInk]

Confused

The topic "Arse Kissing" confused me. I thought this would be about something else.

 

[Richard49]

bump
grind
and
twist
(or is that twisted?)

 

[Ebonyfire]

If I want ass kissing, then I will command it of My own subs.

Just the other day, one person remarked on my hair, and asked me if my front was just as beautiful as my hair.

All I said was, "Do I know you?" Of course he said no, so I hit the ignore button.

I personally do not like fawning, in D/s or in vanilla.

 

[zipman]

Some of my first experiences on the web were in those chat rooms. I absolutely couldn't relate or get into. No offense to those that do enjoy it, but for me, I quickly realized it just wasn't my thing.

I love this board because it is the absolute antithesis of that type of flase roleplaying. I love the honest discussions between everyone without the imposed structure of subs and doms. I have honestly learned as much from reading thoughts and feelings from a subs perspective.

There was one sub on here who asked if she could refer to me as Sir, as her Dom would expect it of her. I got the disinct impression that I would be less uncomfortable being addressed like that than she would be calling me zip.

I think this is a dynamic that we should all appreciate and do our best to foster, as it is so wonderfully unique and it enables all of us to really find out what the other side is thinking.

As Shadowsdream stated, compliments are only valued when they come from the heart, not just to boost an ego.

 

[AvaAdore]

Re: Confused

The topic "Arse Kissing" confused me. I thought this would be about something else.

me too!




"Oh Master, what a big dick you've got!"

"All the better to fuck you with, my dear."

 

[Ebonyfire]

As Shadowsdream stated, compliments are only valued when they come from the heart, not just to boost an ego.

And the trouble with this type of neediness, is that the person never can get enough. There is progressive "ego stroking" to the point where it becomes pointless.

 

[Richard49]

And the trouble with this type of neediness, is that the person never can get enough. There is progressive "ego stroking" to the point where it becomes pointless.

A very good point

Damn I know this is true in RT
so why would it not be online

 

[snoozebutton]

Ohhhhh Lady, You are so beautiful I wish to fall at Your feet.

My Lord, You speak so masterfully that I tremble at the thought.

Mistress ... Your hair is like spun silk ...

Master - that shirt shows Your manly chest to perfection!




Dom/mes - do You ever get such lines from complete strangers? On the occasions I strayed into chat rooms, and even on some threads here at Lit, there seems to be a profusion of 'submissives' making such proclamations.

When I first dipped my big toe into the world of BDSM, and had no reality on which to base what I was seeing, I wondered if this was an accepted way of attracting a Dom/me - but found I couldn't do it. It gave me the giggles ... and I kept thinking of the old Fairy Tale - Little Red Riding Hood saying "Ohhhhhhhhh Granny - what big teeth you have".



so .... Does any Dom/me actually like this approach?

Subs - will anyone admit to even trying such an approach?



(psssssssttttttt .... Master .... I really like the way you do your hair! But thats only cos I cut it for You myself!

I was never crazy about the way subs fawned over there Master's in chat. It did seem silly to me. Oh,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WillowPuss!!!

 

[Master_FT]

Hi,
waves to any that may know me.

ass kissing. um dont like it. not online and not offline.

Also I wanted to make a note about the "D/s" room in the lit chat.
Im a regual ther. been around for a long time.
The rituals and holding court thing thing bothers me a bit so I think I'll try and explain the room a bit.

The D/s room is mainly a room to talk about the Lifestyle hang out with frinds and chat. Sometimes its boring. Sometimes its fun.
sometimes its sad, sometimes it joyus.
We help those who truly are looking for information and help.
those who are just looking for a quick fantasy are guided to another room, as the regulars of D/s object to playing on the open scroll.

Has anyone read "callahnas crosstime saloon" books by spider robinson? Its sort of like that.. but with a bit of kink.
Its not always exciteing, but theres love and frendship if you know where to look.