Are you the type of person that remembers your ex's fondly or with anger/pain?

[Siren]

 

[amelia]

i always try to remember the best things about my ex-boyfriends.....but..i'm only human

 

[Guest]

Both. It depends on the relationship and how long it's been since the end.

I try very hard to approach relationship memories in a positive manner. I don't like holding onto anger and pain. It weighs me down.

 

[Siren]

 

[Trail48]

My ex is the only person I've ever said the "C" word about

 

[WaxNWane]

Fondly. And that includes forgiving acts that I'm a little surprised I'm able to. I know I'm all the way over the relationship when I start remembering the good things; and just accepting the crap for what it was, learning from it and moving on.

The people in my past that I dislike - whether I dated them or not - stay in my past along with whatever anger or sadness the situation involved. Same thing - I learn from it and move on.

 

[Bob_Bytchin]

Good question. Of the 8 or so "serious" relationships I've had, including a previous marriage, I look back at the good memories mainly. The only one that actually has "bad" memories is my previous marriage. The rest ended as a result of growing apart more than anything "bad."

 

[Ishmael]

I am wondering what that says about someone that has only pain and/or anger for the ex's.

OR

if what it says about someone that remembers the ex fondly and have good memories.

Both. It's an individual thing.

Ishmael

 

[someplace]

Both

It depends on the person and how things ended.

I had very little to do with my 1st husband after our divorce -- in fact we lived across the country from each other. Twenty years later we met at the kids' college graduations and again at one of our son's wedding. It was very very pleasant and we're quite amicable now.

My 2nd husband needs to be sent to the lowest ring of hell and sealed there! Oh, no -- I'm not bitter! *slaps my forehead* WHAT was I thinking when I married that man???????????? Oh the shame! The shame!

 

[Tantanah]

Anger mixed with pain...at first.

But in the end usually fondness.

 

[SpiceCake]

my ex

I, too, have to answer both! We had tons of fun in the early years and the later years were miserable with some good thrown in.

It has taken some years for me to acknowledge those good times, but I can do that now! I don't forget the bad because I don't want to make those same mistakes again. I have forgiven!

 

[Miltone]

Fondly

Sad as some friends might say, I look back and see love for every woman I was ever with ... there isn't a one that I wouldn't take back if she showed up on my doorstep ... well, except for Jannie, but she knows who she is and knows better ... does that mean I'm a sap or just a decent guy? I'm thinking decent is the word.

 

[truegentleman]

There are a couple ex-girlfriends who I hope I never see again, but for the most part I have good memories of the others and our times together.

 

[SkyBluAngelEyes]

I am wondering what that says about someone that has only pain and/or anger for the ex's.

OR

if what it says about someone that remembers the ex fondly and have good memories.

I remember them all fondly except I don't have very good memories of my first husband, but then again, he's not worth the energy of hating either.

 

[sufisaint]

I have learned to think nothing of her...just as i do a stranger...I am always polite, always willing to work things out, we have a daughter, but i have learned the hard way everytime I expect something from her other than what she thinks is best for her or somekind barter for something better in return, I am disapointed and sometimes angered especially when she takes out her frustations of her own life upon me as a convient punching bag...something never change. Some peoples hearts will never open, for some this world is all about what they can get. You cannot change them, thats their own responsibilty...you can only deal with them realistically. The good times are just memories...

 

[Trail48]

I have learned to think nothing of her...just as i do a stranger...I am always polite, always willing to work things out, we have a daughter, but i have learned the hard way everytime I expect something from her other than what she thinks is best for her or somekind barter for something better in return, I am disapointed and sometimes angered especially when she takes out her frustations of her own life upon me as a convient punching bag...something never change. Some peoples hearts will never open, for some this world is all about what they can get. You cannot change them, thats their own responsibilty...you can only deal with them realistically. The good times are just memories...

Sufisaint, well said, your situaton is not unique

 

[someplace]

The best one I heard of......

is Bluesboy. You'll have to ask him when he gets back from wherever he is this week.....

He and his ex-wife are on such good terms, she's continually trying to fix him up with her friends. I think that's amazing! They're very good friends.

 

[Simply Me]

I try to remain friends with the people in my past, unless they hurt me deeply. I try to remember that at one time, they were a very important part of my life. I still feel a deep love for the father of my children, and always will, though I'm not in love with him. I can only say there is one person I have known that I truly despise and hope never to lay eyes on again.

 

[*bratcat*]

 

[sufisaint]

Sufisaint, well said, your situaton is not unique

I do wish we could have been the exception, it would have been so great to have been friends... I gave her the house, cars everything but a few dollars to start over...but she just cannot do it. I had to accept it.

 

[LordLucan74]

I am wondering what that says about someone that has only pain and/or anger for the ex's.

OR

if what it says about someone that remembers the ex fondly and have good memories.

My ex-wife and I are friends. We had lunch together today. Her new husband joined us late.

We work together to raise our son, Alec.

Margot, my ex, and I have known each other 20 years. It is impossible for us to despise each other. We were married 10 years.

We live in a new matrix....

 

[Flower Petals]

I think it depends on how I broke up, or got broken up with. Like one guy cheated on me with my bst friend of the time. I don't hold either in real high reguard anymore. There is one or two I would still talk with if I ever ran into them on the street, but really, I live so far away, I can't even recall the last time I ran INTO any of my ex's from when I was younger.

 

[MorgaineLaFay]

I am wondering what that says about someone that has only pain and/or anger for the ex's.

OR

if what it says about someone that remembers the ex fondly and have good memories.

I have two 'Ex's'

One, my high school sweetheart. We still talk from time to time. I have fond memories of him.

The other, I also have very fond momories of. This Man, walked into a bar I was bartending at one night. Our eyes held the others for a few minutes as he made his way to a table. I really don't know where I ever got the balls to do this, but I walked right over to his table and actually asked him to marry Me & have My babies.

We went out on our first date two weeks later. Three months after that I moved in. We were together for three years.

This man is still very much a part of me. We shared so much together.

I could never feel pain towords either of these men.

 

[Mr Wolf]

Fortunately I only remember 1 ex with any ill feeling but very rarely do I think of her so on the whole I would say it the good things I recall about my ex's.

 

[Willing and Unsure]

I try to remain friends with the people in my past, unless they hurt me deeply. I try to remember that at one time, they were a very important part of my life.

my sentiments exactly