Are you experienced?

[Alice_In_Chains]

I am and have been for several years now EXPERIENCED! [sexually of course!]

I have been the one who has to "currupt" the older boys that I've known with sex! I was this guy's first and we are KIND of seeing eachother on and off. I'm still in school getting as the credits I need to graduate. He works like all night .

Anyway, my question is how do you girlies out there teach a guy how to have sex and what you need and what not?

Because, I've just never had a dominating personality sexually. I need that to teach him how to deliver what I want.

 

[peachykeen]

You could try reading some of the stories here at Lit, find a couple that really turn you on, print them out and leave them somewhere for him to find... might be a way to get started, open up some dialogue, at least...

 

[Native Alien]

peachy, that is an excellent suggestion, regardless of whether or not the male is a virgin or not.

i agree wholeheartedly with this approach. or just ask him to read them and ask if he would be interested in trying to do as the couple in the story did.

 

[SexyChele]

Why do you think you need to have a dominating personality to tell this guy what you want? I am what is known as a sexual submissive - I do not take charge in the bedroom at all. However, talking openly about what I want, what I desire, what I expect is simply communication. One doesn't have to have a dominating personality to do it.

Just talk to the guy. Tell him what you would like, or show him. Just don't say things like, "I don't like it when you do this...." or "You shouldn't do that...." Keep it positive and keep it honest - and be certain you ask him if there is anything you can do that he feels he needs. Communication is a two way street, after all.

Good luck!

 

[Chuckwrox]

(I'm not a girlie, so I'll keep this brief!)

I've had so few partners who actually told me what they wanted, it's a pretty rare thing. I always wanted to know how I could do X better. Be excited and positive about teaching him, yourself. You don't have to teach him something with you as Teacher. Think about 2 kids, one's just found a cool critter under a rock. "Hey, come here! Watch what happens when I poke it with a stick!" It's a totally different energy. It's one of discovery, not discipline. Besides, you will be discovering what it's like to have a lover who knows how to please you. Once he's got the basics (or the advanced-basics or whatever) then you'll be going somewhere new, anyway.

Look at it as discovery, that's my $0.02.

 

[Bandit58]

I'm shy.....and my lover knows it. We haven't been together very often (distance problems) but I'm slowly getting used to saying what I want. He asks me "What can I do for you my love" and holds me and caresses me while I stammer and blush and finally get the words out He loves it when I blush too I usually say something like "I love it when you....." so he knows what pleases me.....

Chatting online is another way that we communicate, I have time to think what I want to say, and the phone is good too.....
I gave him the link to this site, and we read stories to each other over the phone, a wonderful way to open up sexually

 

[ClubIrish]

Make it a game, or somehing that is easier for you to say, it can even be something as silly as a coupon book or something. Then as you get more comfortable, you can work on saying it directly, but remember you have to get it across somehow, because nobody can read minds.