Are there subs who desire "punishment?"
- Thread starter MissTaken
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Daddyslilpet
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Miss T, You've asked a really hard one this time. I don't think I understand what you're looking for here.
I've been trying to think about how to answer this, but need some more info first.
Not even sure how to word the questions I want to ask...lol. What do you mean by punishment? Is this "punishment" for being bad? or just for the sake of the strikes?
Thanks, Once I'm a little clearer I'll give my answer.
dixi
I've been trying to think about how to answer this, but need some more info first.
Not even sure how to word the questions I want to ask...lol. What do you mean by punishment? Is this "punishment" for being bad? or just for the sake of the strikes?
Thanks, Once I'm a little clearer I'll give my answer.
dixi
Lancecastor
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MissTaken said:
Hi;
There was a lot of space devoted a few daze ago to the whole discipline/punishment thing...and during that debate as to what those words meant in common usage and in the bdsm world, I went off and read one of Cym's stories, about... punishment.
I suspect there are subs who enjoy or desire punishment more than others....those who think of themselves as masochists being perhaps the most direct example.
Those are my observations.
Lance
MissTaken
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Perhaps by punishment I mean a combination of humiliation and pain.
Play with no positives?
A brutal spanking for mispeaking?
Those sorts of things.
I have talked to Doms who only want subs who want to be punished.
I wonder where they are?
Do they exist?
Lance,
Do you think some maso's aren't necessarily into punishment as much as pain. Pain that is given in a loving manner may transcend the need for punishment?
Just a scattered batch of thoughts based on posts on a thread on another forum.
Play with no positives?
A brutal spanking for mispeaking?
Those sorts of things.
I have talked to Doms who only want subs who want to be punished.
I wonder where they are?
Do they exist?
Lance,
Do you think some maso's aren't necessarily into punishment as much as pain. Pain that is given in a loving manner may transcend the need for punishment?
Just a scattered batch of thoughts based on posts on a thread on another forum.
Lancecastor
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Hmmmm...
Sure, I'd imagine some maso's are in it for the pain, but that a "classic" sub-maso I'd guess would want the disclipline/punishment as well as the pain....as I'm neither I'm just going by what I've seen and read here and elsewhere.
I've met subs who, it seemed , really didn't get revved up unless they were being put down in one way or another...hence my written observations & questions here and there on the board asking about things like low self-esteem, passive aggression, indirect aggression, noting how sometimes people seem to want to be victims even if they create the dilemna themselves, etc.... because I simply prefer situations that point to the positive and would like to understand what makes people like that "tick".
Lance
MissTaken said:Perhaps by punishment I mean a combination of humiliation and pain.
Play with no positives?
A brutal spanking for mispeaking?
Those sorts of things.
I have talked to Doms who only want subs who want to be punished.
I wonder where they are?
Do they exist?
Lance,
Do you think some maso's aren't necessarily into punishment as much as pain. Pain that is given in a loving manner may transcend the need for punishment?
Just a scattered batch of thoughts based on posts on a thread on another forum.
Sure, I'd imagine some maso's are in it for the pain, but that a "classic" sub-maso I'd guess would want the disclipline/punishment as well as the pain....as I'm neither I'm just going by what I've seen and read here and elsewhere.
I've met subs who, it seemed , really didn't get revved up unless they were being put down in one way or another...hence my written observations & questions here and there on the board asking about things like low self-esteem, passive aggression, indirect aggression, noting how sometimes people seem to want to be victims even if they create the dilemna themselves, etc.... because I simply prefer situations that point to the positive and would like to understand what makes people like that "tick".
Lance
Daddyslilpet
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I can honestly say that for me, Punishment needs to be administered with love. Humiliation happens to be a limit for me.
However, I do enjoy receiving spankings, and have been known to be bratty just to get one. Not always mind you, but on occasion.
dixi
However, I do enjoy receiving spankings, and have been known to be bratty just to get one. Not always mind you, but on occasion.
dixi
MissTaken
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Now, a controversial statement is on it's way....
It seems to me that anyone who wants only the negative may have some serious issues.
Does that mean that all maso subs have issues with self esteem?
No. Some of the most confident people I know are maso subs.
It takes a great degree of self awareness, self esteem and confidence to enter into this lifestyle and recognize the distribution of love in a manner which conflicts with everything we have been raised to believe.
I remember one sub from elsewhere who desperately sought someone to literally beat her senseless and had no real desire to engage in a meaningful relationship.
She had issues, baggage and a history!
But was she really submissive?
Who was she serving?
Was it a desire to serve or ease her own guilt and pain through further pain that brought her to that space ?
I dont' know and neither did she.
It seems to me that anyone who wants only the negative may have some serious issues.
Does that mean that all maso subs have issues with self esteem?
No. Some of the most confident people I know are maso subs.
It takes a great degree of self awareness, self esteem and confidence to enter into this lifestyle and recognize the distribution of love in a manner which conflicts with everything we have been raised to believe.
I remember one sub from elsewhere who desperately sought someone to literally beat her senseless and had no real desire to engage in a meaningful relationship.
She had issues, baggage and a history!
But was she really submissive?
Who was she serving?
Was it a desire to serve or ease her own guilt and pain through further pain that brought her to that space ?
I dont' know and neither did she.
P. B. Walker
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Very good points raised MissTaken. I don't know the answers, but I thought of another situation that has kinda always confused me. This situation would be professional Dommes. I always hear about men (usually powerful men in the business community or some such) going to a professional Domme. They seek such things as humiliation, severe beatings, etc., etc. I also don't see that as "serving" someone. I think they are really just going there to be punished. So you have to think, yes, they only want the punishment aspect of BDSM. Obviously in their everyday life they are not submissive since the vast majority of them (according to the Domme's I've spoke with) are CEO-types or leaders of industry, the type of man that makes major decisions on a daily basis and has to run a very large company.
I've always heard the term "pain slut". I guess that means they are maso, but are they really submissive? I doubt you will ever see them take a permanent Domme. And is going to a Domme for a hour long appointment really being submissive?
Sorry if my thoughts aren't super smooth, but I'm kinda just unloading. Also, these are just thoughts... and I'm really just posting to learn. No insult is intended. Hopefully someone can help explain these types of situation. Thanks.
Ciao.
PBW
I've always heard the term "pain slut". I guess that means they are maso, but are they really submissive? I doubt you will ever see them take a permanent Domme. And is going to a Domme for a hour long appointment really being submissive?
Sorry if my thoughts aren't super smooth, but I'm kinda just unloading.
Also, these are just thoughts... and I'm really just posting to learn. No insult is intended. Hopefully someone can help explain these types of situation. Thanks.Ciao.
PBW
James Blandings
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Just my two cents worth, to try to sort oyt what is a bit of a jumble of things, in my reading.
First of all, I do not believe punishment and discipline are synonomous. Discipline is a state, not am action. altough people will use it to mena as action, like in "im going to discipline you" Thats fine, but it obscures the greater meaning of the word as meaning an adherence to rules and proper behavior. Consider that the best disciplined sub would likely be the one who gets punished least.
Now, the point that I think was misunderstood and raised heat in the other discussion was whether or not BDSM punishment was really punishment. This is a thorny part of the consent issue. Maybe people believe that all punishment in a consensual relationship is a form of play, since the sub is free to refuse to accept it, unlike a child or a prisoner. So to some, the idea that a sub is "really" punished offends their notions of SSC.
Not all masochists are submissives by any stretch, many of them are strict taskmasters in demanding to recieve the painful stimulation they desire. Obvously they are not submitting to punishment in even the most extreme scenes. And many subs are highly averse to punishment because they achieve their greateast fulfillment from pleasing their dom with their service, and punishment would signal a failure in that regard.
And then there is that group that does indeed desire to be really punished, and not merely guided by their dom with the use of loving chatisement. I think they are relatively rare in BDSM because for many of them it is an unhealthy approach, and they quickly realize it and move on. BDSM is not therapy, and should never be used in place of therapy, IMO, but there are many who will go that route. I have no doubt there are those who have taken this approach and found it worked for them, but as I said, I think that is pretty rare.
First of all, I do not believe punishment and discipline are synonomous. Discipline is a state, not am action. altough people will use it to mena as action, like in "im going to discipline you" Thats fine, but it obscures the greater meaning of the word as meaning an adherence to rules and proper behavior. Consider that the best disciplined sub would likely be the one who gets punished least.
Now, the point that I think was misunderstood and raised heat in the other discussion was whether or not BDSM punishment was really punishment. This is a thorny part of the consent issue. Maybe people believe that all punishment in a consensual relationship is a form of play, since the sub is free to refuse to accept it, unlike a child or a prisoner. So to some, the idea that a sub is "really" punished offends their notions of SSC.
Not all masochists are submissives by any stretch, many of them are strict taskmasters in demanding to recieve the painful stimulation they desire. Obvously they are not submitting to punishment in even the most extreme scenes. And many subs are highly averse to punishment because they achieve their greateast fulfillment from pleasing their dom with their service, and punishment would signal a failure in that regard.
And then there is that group that does indeed desire to be really punished, and not merely guided by their dom with the use of loving chatisement. I think they are relatively rare in BDSM because for many of them it is an unhealthy approach, and they quickly realize it and move on. BDSM is not therapy, and should never be used in place of therapy, IMO, but there are many who will go that route. I have no doubt there are those who have taken this approach and found it worked for them, but as I said, I think that is pretty rare.
P. B. Walker
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If I'm not mistaken... I believe one of the posters here said she used to work as a professional Domme at one point in time. I wonder if she could enlighten us also. Just a thought.
PBW
PBW
James Blandings
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P. B. Walker said:Very good points raised MissTaken. I don't know the answers, but I thought of another situation that has kinda always confused me. This situation would be professional Dommes. I always hear about men (usually powerful men in the business community or some such) going to a professional Domme. They seek such things as humiliation, severe beatings, etc., etc. I also don't see that as "serving" someone. I think they are really just going there to be punished. So you have to think, yes, they only want the punishment aspect of BDSM. Obviously in their everyday life they are not submissive since the vast majority of them (according to the Domme's I've spoke with) are CEO-types or leaders of industry, the type of man that makes major decisions on a daily basis and has to run a very large company.
I've always heard the term "pain slut". I guess that means they are maso, but are they really submissive? I doubt you will ever see them take a permanent Domme. And is going to a Domme for a hour long appointment really being submissive?
Sorry if my thoughts aren't super smooth, but I'm kinda just unloading.
Ciao.
PBW
PBW, I found your post thoughtful and not in the least insulting to anyone.
Those pro Domme I have known have generally not considered their clients to be "real subs" except in rare cases. Usually the client comes in to the session with a shopping list of activities and expects the Domme to give him what he desires. In such a case, there is no submission, they will say, and most of their clients who do have strong submissive tendencies are dissatisfied with the pro Domme experience.
I hope some of our pro and former pro-Domme posters will return to this forum soon and add their insights.
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Persephone36
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Can I throw another wrench in the discussion (unless of course I'm taking it in too far a different direction...)
Now, does it still make me a sub if I wish to have no punishment or humilation or for that matter very little pain involved in my sexual experiences with a Dom? That the only thing I'm looking for (I think, remember this is a new area for me) is for him to have complete control over me -- so that, sexually, speaking the control of my pleasure -- is all in his hands. I would think, because I am a strong person in my daily life he's going to have to break me in a way of some of my natural tendency to want to have some control. How we're going to do that, lol, I don't know.
And I've had self-esteem issues -- I don't want any part of that being involved in the relationship. If anything, I'm entertaining the idea of this kind of relationship *because* I've resolved many of those issues -- and because if there's one thing I do feel strong, powerful, uninhibited, and confident about -- it's my sexuality and sexual expression.
But I guess my question is -- is this really fully entering into a D/s relationship? Are we straddling a line? Is there an element that's missing? Particularly since in terms of corporal punishment I *know* I can't go past spanking or nipple clamps. That's my pain/pleasure barrier. I suppose even those details don't matter -- but I suppose the important part is the *intent* behind them when they're used.
I'm not interested in a relationship sexually where I'm "rewarded" or "punished" -- does that just mean I can still experience a D/s relationship without there being sado-masochism involved?
Btw -- if I took this too far in another direction -- just point me in the right one, lol.
P.
Now, does it still make me a sub if I wish to have no punishment or humilation or for that matter very little pain involved in my sexual experiences with a Dom? That the only thing I'm looking for (I think, remember this is a new area for me) is for him to have complete control over me -- so that, sexually, speaking the control of my pleasure -- is all in his hands. I would think, because I am a strong person in my daily life he's going to have to break me in a way of some of my natural tendency to want to have some control. How we're going to do that, lol, I don't know.
And I've had self-esteem issues -- I don't want any part of that being involved in the relationship. If anything, I'm entertaining the idea of this kind of relationship *because* I've resolved many of those issues -- and because if there's one thing I do feel strong, powerful, uninhibited, and confident about -- it's my sexuality and sexual expression.
But I guess my question is -- is this really fully entering into a D/s relationship? Are we straddling a line? Is there an element that's missing? Particularly since in terms of corporal punishment I *know* I can't go past spanking or nipple clamps. That's my pain/pleasure barrier. I suppose even those details don't matter -- but I suppose the important part is the *intent* behind them when they're used.
I'm not interested in a relationship sexually where I'm "rewarded" or "punished" -- does that just mean I can still experience a D/s relationship without there being sado-masochism involved?
Btw -- if I took this too far in another direction -- just point me in the right one, lol.
P.
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There are times when I crave nothing but the hateful, painful, degrading side. I have not yet tested this feeling with T in real life, so I don't know how it will work out. My sources say yes.
Once I did try to use pain as therapy, and as James said, it didn't work. Called red. I knew why I was doing it then and that is was the wrong reason, but I didn't realize how detrimental it would be to recovering. I do know better now, and if I do take meaningless whacks, it will be exactly because I crave the fear of knowing that there is no reason, no rationale. Just pain.
I'm not at all offended by the notion that there is something awry in my past, MissT, because a.) I haven't successfully lived out these dark fantasies yet (and I do stress that "yet"), and b.) this is something I'm still working out in myself. Why do I obsess over it? Why does the thought of my pain for no reason but T's pleasure instantly send me flying? I know that I am happy and, dare I say, stable in my daily life. I'll certainly post more as I gain experience, because I genuinely want to know more about my inner workings and you guys are good for picking me apart. o)
Once I did try to use pain as therapy, and as James said, it didn't work. Called red. I knew why I was doing it then and that is was the wrong reason, but I didn't realize how detrimental it would be to recovering. I do know better now, and if I do take meaningless whacks, it will be exactly because I crave the fear of knowing that there is no reason, no rationale. Just pain.
I'm not at all offended by the notion that there is something awry in my past, MissT, because a.) I haven't successfully lived out these dark fantasies yet (and I do stress that "yet"), and b.) this is something I'm still working out in myself. Why do I obsess over it? Why does the thought of my pain for no reason but T's pleasure instantly send me flying? I know that I am happy and, dare I say, stable in my daily life. I'll certainly post more as I gain experience, because I genuinely want to know more about my inner workings and you guys are good for picking me apart. o)
Persephone,
Sadomasochism is not a prerequisite at all to a D/s relationship. We separate the letters for good reason. Like people have said, some people crave the pain without the D/s; you're just the opposite. It is all equally valid and doesn't discredit your desires in the least. There are lots of subs here who do not enjoy pain. BDSM covers a wide range, and you're totally free to exclude whatever aspects don't turn you on and still count yourself in the community.
Sadomasochism is not a prerequisite at all to a D/s relationship. We separate the letters for good reason. Like people have said, some people crave the pain without the D/s; you're just the opposite. It is all equally valid and doesn't discredit your desires in the least. There are lots of subs here who do not enjoy pain. BDSM covers a wide range, and you're totally free to exclude whatever aspects don't turn you on and still count yourself in the community.
MissTaken
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Quint?
Based on your post, I would say that your desire for pain isn't what I am talking about. You are serving your Master. That is always the bottom line with a sub.
It is the women who will undertake extensive painful play with no connection just to get whupped!
I guess I am confusing myself now. Anyway, Quint, we all have issues, all have baggage. It may or may not have an impact on our desires and needs with regard to BDSM. That is an individual thing.
Persephone?
No, BDSM is as you and your mate define it. If there is power exchange exclusive pain and humiliation, it is your choice. It does not lessen the degree to which you are engaging in D/s.
I like pain/pleasure play.
I have some experience with it and look forward to exploring it further with someone I trust and "aim to please!"
But it isn't necessary in a D/s relationship.
Based on your post, I would say that your desire for pain isn't what I am talking about. You are serving your Master. That is always the bottom line with a sub.
It is the women who will undertake extensive painful play with no connection just to get whupped!
I guess I am confusing myself now. Anyway, Quint, we all have issues, all have baggage. It may or may not have an impact on our desires and needs with regard to BDSM. That is an individual thing.
Persephone?
No, BDSM is as you and your mate define it. If there is power exchange exclusive pain and humiliation, it is your choice. It does not lessen the degree to which you are engaging in D/s.
I like pain/pleasure play.
I have some experience with it and look forward to exploring it further with someone I trust and "aim to please!"
But it isn't necessary in a D/s relationship.
confused20
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I hope that last post recieves an answer!
Hi, im rather new here, but im very interested in the answer that is given to persephone's post...i feel very simialarly to her, in that i dont want alot of pain and humiliation involved in the relationship, nor am i very interested in having someone "disipline" or "punish" me (reminds me of living at home *shudder*) ...but i do want a man who can control the sexual situation, someone who is in charge and makes the decissions...uses a little force too...and any pain involve would be because it gives him plaesure in a sexual sense...not becauz ive "been bad"...so is this still considered BDSM? or are we in the middle?
*hope we dont gert kicked out on our fannies...lol*
Hi, im rather new here, but im very interested in the answer that is given to persephone's post...i feel very simialarly to her, in that i dont want alot of pain and humiliation involved in the relationship, nor am i very interested in having someone "disipline" or "punish" me (reminds me of living at home *shudder*) ...but i do want a man who can control the sexual situation, someone who is in charge and makes the decissions...uses a little force too...and any pain involve would be because it gives him plaesure in a sexual sense...not becauz ive "been bad"...so is this still considered BDSM? or are we in the middle?
*hope we dont gert kicked out on our fannies...lol*
Persephone36
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Thank you both Quint and MissTaken!
Thank you both for your responses. Wow, one night here and you all are making me think, "GB? There's a GB here?"
(Lol, not that I don't enjoy the GB -- it's just the wonderful responses I'm receiving here -- and the incredible welcome.)
You guys rock, you really do.
P.
Thank you both for your responses. Wow, one night here and you all are making me think, "GB? There's a GB here?"
(Lol, not that I don't enjoy the GB -- it's just the wonderful responses I'm receiving here -- and the incredible welcome.)
You guys rock, you really do.
P.
MissTaken
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Re: Thank you both Quint and MissTaken!
You are a sweetie
And I said it first!
YOU Rock!
*smirks*
We really do look forward to more from all of our new friends in terms of insight, questions or whatever.
Other people's quesitons are as helpful as my own. You make me think and sometimes, that is a very good thing
Persephone36 said:Thank you both for your responses. Wow, one night here and you all are making me think, "GB? There's a GB here?"
(Lol, not that I don't enjoy the GB -- it's just the wonderful responses I'm receiving here -- and the incredible welcome.)
You guys rock, you really do.
P.
You are a sweetie
And I said it first!
YOU Rock!
*smirks*
We really do look forward to more from all of our new friends in terms of insight, questions or whatever.
Other people's quesitons are as helpful as my own. You make me think and sometimes, that is a very good thing
James Blandings
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Re: I hope that last post recieves an answer!
BDSM is about nothing if it is not about each person's free choice to define themselves on their own terms. The range of styles and preferences within BDSM is vast and varied. I have been in the scene 30 years and I'm constantly being surprised by new trends and ideas. So be who you are, bring what you have, take what you need, and please, above all, enjoy yourself.
confused20 said:
BDSM is about nothing if it is not about each person's free choice to define themselves on their own terms. The range of styles and preferences within BDSM is vast and varied. I have been in the scene 30 years and I'm constantly being surprised by new trends and ideas. So be who you are, bring what you have, take what you need, and please, above all, enjoy yourself.
RisiaSkye
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In my own experience, and that of those close to me, punishment and discipline are different things. By way of explanation, here are some examples from my own life.
Discipline: If he's testing me as a Domme, failing to respond to directions (etc), I may use discipline to redirect his actions and to reassure him that I am comfortable weilding the control. That testing of the Dominant is a normal thing, it seems, and one that requires a measure of discipline (in the form of a flat handed spanking or words of reproach) as well as reassurance to the submissive. The discipline is not designed to hurt but to startle, to surprise with a sensation, and to refocus the submissive on their submission.
Punishment: Recently, my husband behaved unbelievably badly--was horribly insulting, immature, and generally ugly to me. Our relationship was shaken by this, but is very strong at its foundation. Before we could resume our regular lives (and life together), the breach of trust needed to be addressed. We had already done all of the talking--he'd said the "I'm sorry"s, and I'd forgiven him. However, he still felt guilty, and I still felt less inclined to trust in him as a Dominant, submissive, or partner.
Because of these factors, we mutually agreed on a punishment. He received 20 cane lashes, including five to the testicles. I was in contact with him at all points, reassuring him and checking to make sure that he wasn't hurt in a lasting or damaging way. He was, however, experiencing pain in a not-fun, punishing way. We both needed this in order to move forward. It was not easy to administer, as I love him and don't enjoy causing him real pain. It wasn't easy to receive, as it *did* hurt. However, it was emotionally healing; he felt the cathartic release of guilt, having both confessed (apologized) and been redeemed (punishment) by paying for his transgressions; I felt the depth of his apology and regret, and got the chance to actualize in a controlled way my feelings of disappointment in and resentment of his reprehensible behavior. Now, all is well.
That's the difference to me.
So, given that, I don't think there are many people who are in it just and only for punishment. I also suspect that people who *are* in it for that kind of punishment have serious emotional problems with guilt or something.
Now, people who desire "punishment" scenes like interrogations or Principal's office set-ups aren't really after Punishment. They're looking to enact a particular fantasy for sexually gratifying reasons, not to advance a D/s relationship per se.
JMO, of course.
Discipline: If he's testing me as a Domme, failing to respond to directions (etc), I may use discipline to redirect his actions and to reassure him that I am comfortable weilding the control. That testing of the Dominant is a normal thing, it seems, and one that requires a measure of discipline (in the form of a flat handed spanking or words of reproach) as well as reassurance to the submissive. The discipline is not designed to hurt but to startle, to surprise with a sensation, and to refocus the submissive on their submission.
Punishment: Recently, my husband behaved unbelievably badly--was horribly insulting, immature, and generally ugly to me. Our relationship was shaken by this, but is very strong at its foundation. Before we could resume our regular lives (and life together), the breach of trust needed to be addressed. We had already done all of the talking--he'd said the "I'm sorry"s, and I'd forgiven him. However, he still felt guilty, and I still felt less inclined to trust in him as a Dominant, submissive, or partner.
Because of these factors, we mutually agreed on a punishment. He received 20 cane lashes, including five to the testicles. I was in contact with him at all points, reassuring him and checking to make sure that he wasn't hurt in a lasting or damaging way. He was, however, experiencing pain in a not-fun, punishing way. We both needed this in order to move forward. It was not easy to administer, as I love him and don't enjoy causing him real pain. It wasn't easy to receive, as it *did* hurt. However, it was emotionally healing; he felt the cathartic release of guilt, having both confessed (apologized) and been redeemed (punishment) by paying for his transgressions; I felt the depth of his apology and regret, and got the chance to actualize in a controlled way my feelings of disappointment in and resentment of his reprehensible behavior. Now, all is well.
That's the difference to me.
So, given that, I don't think there are many people who are in it just and only for punishment. I also suspect that people who *are* in it for that kind of punishment have serious emotional problems with guilt or something.
Now, people who desire "punishment" scenes like interrogations or Principal's office set-ups aren't really after Punishment. They're looking to enact a particular fantasy for sexually gratifying reasons, not to advance a D/s relationship per se.
JMO, of course.
Persephone36
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Re: Re: Thank you both Quint and MissTaken!
LOL, you did indeed!
You know -- you were one of the first people who ever posted back to me on a thread on the GB (like an idiot I started a thread asking people what their definition of vanilla was -- *sheesh*) -- and you were super to me. So, I particularly feel welcomed here knowing you're on the prowl, lol.
Lol, we're all warm and fuzzie tonight, aren't we?
Seriously, I'm so jazzed now that I decided to come here! I can hardly wait for minxie to be around again to see, lol. (Not to mention a certain man I'd like to see stop on by)
P.
MissTaken said:
LOL, you did indeed!
You know -- you were one of the first people who ever posted back to me on a thread on the GB (like an idiot I started a thread asking people what their definition of vanilla was -- *sheesh*)
-- and you were super to me. So, I particularly feel welcomed here knowing you're on the prowl, lol. Lol, we're all warm and fuzzie tonight, aren't we?
Seriously, I'm so jazzed now that I decided to come here! I can hardly wait for minxie to be around again to see, lol. (Not to mention a certain man I'd like to see stop on by)
P.
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P. B. Walker
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Nov 21, 2001
- Posts
- 25,127
RisiaSkye... that actually makes alot of sense and your post was very enlightening. I can't help but agree when you say that people that seek out just the punishment do have issues.
On a side note: 5 cane lashes on the nuts... ouch... shiver.
- PBW
On a side note: 5 cane lashes on the nuts... ouch... shiver.
- PBW
Persephone36
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- May 19, 2002
- Posts
- 702
RisiaSkye said:
I'm just quoting your discipline section here -- although I found your whole post fascinating -- because I find it incredibly helpful. Thank you -- you really articulated something that I know is important for me in being a sub -- whomever my Dom becomes. That of me being able to trust, have the reassurance that they are actually truly *taking* control -- that they trust their own power. That they know, as you said, how to wield control. I'm *sure* particularly in more subconcious ways -- this testing on my part is going to come up. But I hear you in saying, if I have the right Dom -- that's not something for me to fear. Because he will be able to, as you say, get me to focus again on my submission, and not on my insecurity or questioning of him.
Just a great response, (at least for what I needed, lol.) Thank you.
P.
