Are there any Dommes around? I would like to ask a few questions if I may-

[Ranxerox2500]

I'm a 51 year old straight male-I have been in a few relationships with sub females (although I'm not truly a Dom), but lately I've been interested in being a sub to a Dominatrix, but I am curious about a few things.
If any woman would be so kind as to help me, I'd certainly be grateful.

 

[Ranxerox2500]

I guess I should add, if any lady would like to help inform me, it is totally your choice whether you'd like to PM me or not-I don't have a lot of questions (or embarrassing ones), I absolutely do not mind chatting here-
Thank you

 

[MeekMe]

If you have questions, it's best to ask them here in the forum that way you can get different perspectives and also it gives lurkers that may have similar questions some answers.

 

[Ranxerox2500]

I tend to agree with you, I was just letting folks know that I am flexible

 

[Ranxerox2500]

Here's what I'd like to know: is it possible to be the male sub of a Domme, without wanting to be humiliated and punished? The reason I ask is that I have always wanted to be in a relationship with a dominant woman, a relationship where I was completely dedicated to pleasing her sexually. And I mean completely, whatever she wanted and whenever she wanted it, I would be more than happy to perform it. I know a lot of guys say things like that, but I truly mean it.

 

[Ranxerox2500]

If I were in a relationship with a dominant woman, I would happily consider myself her manslave. Are there any Dommes who would like to have a big strong but completely obedient man as their partner?

 

[MeekMe]

Here's what I'd like to know: is it possible to be the male sub of a Domme, without wanting to be humiliated and punished?

Yes, that's possible. It's a matter of finding someone compatible that is not interested in having those things in their dynamic.

The reason I ask is that I have always wanted to be in a relationship with a dominant woman, a relationship where I was completely dedicated to pleasing her sexually. And I mean completely, whatever she wanted and whenever she wanted it, I would be more than happy to perform it. I know a lot of guys say things like that, but I truly mean it.

Again, it's possible to find a compatible partner, but it's not easy and it probably won't be a very quick process.

 

[Ranxerox2500]

Thank you so much for your opinion, I mean it ;-)

 

[MeekMe]

If I were in a relationship with a dominant woman, I would happily consider myself her manslave. Are there any Dommes who would like to have a big strong but completely obedient man as their partner?

You're going into personal ad territory here. We don't allow personal ads in BDSM Talk. Whenever a question starts with "are there any" the answer is usually "yes." If you're just trying to find a d-type then post in the appropriate place. Putting personal ads in the place with rules against it shows a lack of being able to follow rules. D-types like people that follow the rules and don't try to manipulate the system.

 

[Ranxerox2500]

That is not my intention at all. Sorry, I will leave. Thank you and have a great day.

 

[cookiecat]

You don't have to.leave. If you have more specific questions that might generate conversation, ask away!!

For example, you say you'll do anything. For me, that's a, red flag. You also say you don't want humiliation or punishment. I understand the humiliation part. However, if you were disobedient, what is the consequence??

As to the do anything part, what does that mean? Would you lick my feet? Worship my asshole? Clean off my pussy after I pee? Clean the house?

I'm.Just trying to get a sense of your limits because I bet you have some..... And knowing those helps the conversation.

If you are looking specifically for a Domme, the personals are down by the Playground.

Stick around if you have more to say.

 

[MeekMe]

I understand the humiliation part. However, if you were disobedient, what is the consequence??

Does there have to be looming punishment to make someone do something? Usually, if someone says they want to be obedient I expect they will do as they're told without the need for punishment. A lot of people don't use punishment in their dynamic. They tend to talk it over instead.

Why didn't you do this? Ok, here's how we fix this going forward.

If that doesn't work, the relationship doesn't have to continue because one person isn't holding up their end of the deal.

In some cases, punishment just works as demotivation. I don't like fucking up so I do what I'm told without the need for punishment hanging over my head.

 

[cookiecat]

Does there have to be looming punishment to make someone do something? Usually, if someone says they want to be obedient I expect they will do as they're told without the need for punishment. A lot of people don't use punishment in their dynamic. They tend to talk it over instead.

Why didn't you do this? Ok, here's how we fix this going forward.

If that doesn't work, the relationship doesn't have to continue because one person isn't holding up their end of the deal.

In some cases, punishment just works as demotivation. I don't like fucking up so I do what I'm told without the need for punishment hanging over my head.

That's fair.

Perhaps I should've said a consequence. Even if the consequence is simply sitting down to talk about what happened and finding a resolution.

My sense is a lot of new submissives say they'll do ANYTHING, simply ANYTHING - let me be your slave - to please the D, except for ____________ (here's the list of things I won't do).

Negotiation is good. Essential. Sometimes - and I'll speak only from my experience - as a new submissive, I'm not sure how to negotiate. I have a feeling of wanting to do everything. I'd say what the OP said - I'll do anything to please you... and then in the next breath I'd say, except for that...

Punishment does not have to be a part of a D/s dynamic and I'd never want to scare someone away from exploring because I suggested it was. Thanks for pointing that out.

 

[DemiAngora]

Here's what I'd like to know: is it possible to be the male sub of a Domme, without wanting to be humiliated and punished? The reason I ask is that I have always wanted to be in a relationship with a dominant woman, a relationship where I was completely dedicated to pleasing her sexually. And I mean completely, whatever she wanted and whenever she wanted it, I would be more than happy to perform it. I know a lot of guys say things like that, but I truly mean it.[/QUOTEIt

It is possible. I hate humiliation in all forms, causing pain is also not my style. I like teasing and orgasm denial. That is the best way to dominate a man in my opinion and experience.

 

[KayceeCharles]

Based on my research, it is PERFECTLY possible to be the sub in a D/s relationship without humiliation. It'd be more about the sex.

Does the idea of being ORDERED to give oral sex turn you on?

Does the idea of just STANDING there (or laying down), hands and feet bound so you can't move, then a woman come use your dick like a live dildo turn you on?

Or a variation on this, you are on a table, head on the edge with a pillow under your neck, then a woman lowered herself onto your mouth, and you, without hands, must pleasure her with your mouth and tongue only?

How about only using one hand, without looking, fingering a woman to orgasm?

We need to figure out your kinks, what really gets you off, about the idea of being a sub to a dominatrix.

 

[Ranxerox2500]

KayceeCharles:
I would absolutely enjoy everything that you mentioned-
What gets me off is the woman getting off-or more exactly, me getting her off.

 

[Ranxerox2500]

Maybe this will explain a lot of why I am the way I am:
I lost my virginity pretty late, I was 22 or 23, and I was seduced by a divorced woman who was much older than me-I'm guessing that she was in her late 40's or early 50's even-she knew that I was a virgin (I was smart enough to tell her), so she went nice and slow. We did it a few more times, and besides teaching me how to do it, she said "I'm going to teach you how to really really please a woman", and I really enjoyed watching her react to what she was teaching me. I think that that affected me in a very positive way, anyhow I have always tried my hardest (no pun intended) to please the women I've been with.

 

[KayceeCharles]

Looks like you're being a great lover without the D/s element. So, just want to try D/s element in addition to the regular stuff? Maybe you can incorporate a bit of that into your regular sex life. Design it with your current sex partner. Tell her what you want and see if she can accommodate. It's a part of the negotiation.

 

[Ranxerox2500]

Unfortunately, I'm not in a relationship right now. That's one of the reasons I wanted to learn more about it, I'm hoping that my next relationship is with a Domme. However, that's all I want to say about that, I don't want to give off the impression that I'm looking here.

 

[Ranxerox2500]

KayceeCharles-
May I possibly PM you? If not, it's totally cool

 

[KayceeCharles]

I am not in the scene or the lifestyle. I'm a lurker with a lot of research and interest in psychology. So I doubt I can offer you any practical advice other than sign up with FETLIFE.com and make a profile for yourself and see where that leads you. Read a lot there, introduce yourself, look for a dom that does allow you to pleasure her on order or someone willing to play the part with you.

Good luck.

 

[cookiecat]

KayceeCharles:
I would absolutely enjoy everything that you mentioned-
What gets me off is the woman getting off-or more exactly, me getting her off.

I'm glad you're back!!

I'm wondering why you're interested in a Domme? I agree with Kaycee - it sounds like you're a giving, generous lover. Why does bdsm or D/s appeal to you vs. a vanilla relationship where you give your woman lots of sexual attention?

 

[KayceeCharles]

Just a random guess: he has enough money or looks that most women he meets want to please him, rather than the other way around.

 

[KayceeCharles]

Instruction from a vanilla oriented woman who sees you as a peer is going to be pretty rare.

Good point. I keep forgetting the "equal peer" option.

 

[CutieMouse]

Is there any specific reason you have to ID submissive to end up in a relationship where you enjoy pleasuring your partner?

I ask, because if one removes all the labels and boxes and such, what you're describing is a relationship in which both parties work together to create a positive feedback loop. What if you could find a relationship where you get off on getting her off, and she gets off on getting you off (which happens to involve getting her off). Would it matter who was dominant and who was submissive? Top/bottom? Or would compatibility become the higher priority?