Are Older Men Always Controlling?

[redheadfantasy]

Hi all! So the long and the short of it is that I was seeing an older man for a few months, but that ended because he was getting increasingly dismissive, unkind, and controlling. I appreciate the wisdom an older man can offer, but I still have too much self respect to be talked down to or pushed around. I like older men, so this won’t be the last time I get involved with one. Any advice on how to avoid this sort of thing in the future? Thank you. <3

 

[RoryN]

An observation:

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1544159

I absolutely love it...the way he takes charge

Now:

he was getting increasingly...controlling

Far more likely that he was always controlling - which was fine in the bedroom for you, but a problem when men don't delineate between there and elsewhere and, bad news: controlling men don't.

So, nothing wrong with your desires; just know you're going to have to screen out the duds and, fair warning, you're going to find quite a few of them. Patience, happy searching, and best of luck.

 

[Dom70]

Feel free to PM to talk to an older gentleman.

 

[Smoothshavendad]

Hi all! So the long and the short of it is that I was seeing an older man for a few months, but that ended because he was getting increasingly dismissive, unkind, and controlling. I appreciate the wisdom an older man can offer, but I still have too much self respect to be talked down to or pushed around. I like older men, so this won’t be the last time I get involved with one. Any advice on how to avoid this sort of thing in the future? Thank you. <3

Being treated poorly is always unacceptable. Good for you for thinking enough of yourself to know that you are worth more. As a mature man, my desire is to nurture, me tor and lavish affection on a much younger woman, not to make her feel bad about herself!

 

[redheadfantasy]

So, nothing wrong with your desires; just know you're going to have to screen out the duds and, fair warning, you're going to find quite a few of them. Patience, happy searching, and best of luck.

This is solid advice, thank you so much.

 

[redheadfantasy]

Being treated poorly is always unacceptable. Good for you for thinking enough of yourself to know that you are worth more. As a mature man, my desire is to nurture, me tor and lavish affection on a much younger woman, not to make her feel bad about herself!

I appreciate the input. I’m a little shy and submissive by nature, but I’m also mature and tough enough to know when a little guidance crosses the border into potentially abusive behavior. Thanks for sharing your 2 cents!

 

[oneblueye]

hey...

Hi all! So the long and the short of it is that I was seeing an older man for a few months, but that ended because he was getting increasingly dismissive, unkind, and controlling. I appreciate the wisdom an older man can offer, but I still have too much self respect to be talked down to or pushed around. I like older men, so this won’t be the last time I get involved with one. Any advice on how to avoid this sort of thing in the future? Thank you. <3

find one willing to let ya train him...

but to the original question:
"Are Older Men Always Controlling"

short answer:
YES!, in one way or another

 

[Windman1]

Not all of us

My guess is its a character issue. I have found that as I have aged I am less high strung than I was as a younger man. I have learned to appreciate the journey as much as the destination. Being kind is always best for all of us. Life is way too short to not be.

 

[Lady2020]

I don't know. But there sure seems to be quite a few on Lit.

 

[EnglishStud]

Hi all! So the long and the short of it is that I was seeing an older man for a few months, but that ended because he was getting increasingly dismissive, unkind, and controlling. I appreciate the wisdom an older man can offer, but I still have too much self respect to be talked down to or pushed around. I like older men, so this won’t be the last time I get involved with one. Any advice on how to avoid this sort of thing in the future? Thank you. <3

Those bad traits are possibly more common amongst younger guys tbh, you clearly just picked a dodgy older fella. My advice is to avoid an older geezer with big insecurities; if he hasn't got his shit sorted by that age he has no chance. Confident, charismatic, handsome men way to go girl- and far more likely to be better shags

I personally would treat you like a young princess but reguarly put you across my knee to show you who's boss...

 

[Champakian]

Younger men can't be controlling for the most part.
They lack the cash and other accoutrement accruements.

Older men have accumulated power (or who wants to date them?),
so they, like so many other things/institutions, tend to exercise it.
It's always gonna piss somebody off...

 

[Dribble]

Any advice on how to avoid this sort of thing in the future? Thank you. <3

Simple really.

1) Is he vaccinated? No? Avoid him.

2) Is he a Republican? Yes? Avoid him.

3) if you are a Republican....avoid me.

Behaviors in older people are determined. The likelihood they will change is small. The good news...their behavior is not hidden. Failure to have seen it is not about them...but more about you not seeing it. I think Rory's observation was very astute.

 

[JohnnySavage]

Hi all! So the long and the short of it is that I was seeing an older man for a few months, but that ended because he was getting increasingly dismissive, unkind, and controlling. I appreciate the wisdom an older man can offer, but I still have too much self respect to be talked down to or pushed around. I like older men, so this won’t be the last time I get involved with one. Any advice on how to avoid this sort of thing in the future? Thank you. <3

Yes.

Now go fix me a sandwich.

 

[Smoothshavendad]

I appreciate the input. I’m a little shy and submissive by nature, but I’m also mature and tough enough to know when a little guidance crosses the border into potentially abusive behavior. Thanks for sharing your 2 cents!

My pleasure. Wishing you best of luck on your journey. Please feel to reach out anytime.

 

[wickedpanda]

Hi all! So the long and the short of it is that I was seeing an older man for a few months, but that ended because he was getting increasingly dismissive, unkind, and controlling. I appreciate the wisdom an older man can offer, but I still have too much self respect to be talked down to or pushed around. I like older men, so this won’t be the last time I get involved with one. Any advice on how to avoid this sort of thing in the future? Thank you. <3

Did you tell him any of this . older men do listen.
If you did and he didn't change then yes leaving was the correct thing to do.

 

[MrHypnotist]

Younger men can't be controlling for the most part.
They lack the cash and other accoutrement accruements.

I would say that people of any gender, age, and economic situation can be controlling to the degree that someone else is willing to put up with it.

 

[Champakian]

Hey, ask any older woman with a gigolo...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lN-4lX0QyZc

 

[LourdMorpheus]

Hi all! So the long and the short of it is that I was seeing an older man for a few months, but that ended because he was getting increasingly dismissive, unkind, and controlling. I appreciate the wisdom an older man can offer, but I still have too much self respect to be talked down to or pushed around. I like older men, so this won’t be the last time I get involved with one. Any advice on how to avoid this sort of thing in the future? Thank you. <3

Well I can appreciate your commitment to patience. The dismissive and unkind thing shows it's head out of fear I think. Some people who are dominant evolving confuse dominance with domineering. Dominance is assuring, while domineering is ugly. I don't know if you have done the bdsm survey - but I would recommend, and then before you get too far along with a guy - ask him to do his so you kind of have a map as to where each of you are in the spectrum. ....

Thats my 2 cents.

 

[rockcasbah]

Women shouldn’t talk with their mouth full.

 

[Oldsmallcock]

I am more submissive

 

[Rotadom]

Older than what? When I'm 80, I'm hoping just to control my bladder.

 

[stickygirl]

My gran used to say 'people get more like themselves' by which she meant old people eventually stop trying to observe social niceties, instead their real character shows through. If he's already an asshole he'll become more of an asshole

 

[oggbashan]

Older men are more likely to have worked out what they want from a sexual encounter, and what they don't like. It may not be control as such, but what works for them.

 

[JohnnySavage]

My gran used to say 'people get more like themselves' by which she meant old people eventually stop trying to observe social niceties, instead their real character shows through. If he's already an asshole he'll become more of an asshole

As I approach 60, my belief that people don't change has been validated. People I knew 50 years ago, who were assholes, are still assholes.

 

[Champakian]

Old men have the money (the means).

Young men have to kiss ass and jump through hoops to get laid...

(Or go the giggle route to a controlling old woman.)