Are fetishes a requirement?

[poppy1963]

Just looking to learn.

 

[Quint]

.............

 

[esclave_PP]

No, they aren't a requirement but they can be fun. Heck, anything can be a fetish. Even wanting to buy 4 jars of Miracle Whip so you don't run out could be a fetish. From shoes, to hose, to rope to latex, everyone has something that turns them on. Could even be toast with jelly. Required? no. Fun, yes!

 

[CutieMouse]

Mmm.... I started with a book fetish and it was all downhill from there.
















Only kidding! No you don't *have* to have a fetish to enjoy BDSM, but a lot of people who enjoy BDSM have fetishes. Make sense?

 

[esclave_PP]

Mmm.... I started with a book fetish and it was all downhill from there.



Only kidding! No you don't *have* to have a fetish to enjoy BDSM, but a lot of people who enjoy BDSM have fetishes. Make sense?

A fellow bibliophile. Woo woo! Nice to see you posting again Of course I've been absent, but nice to see you anyway

 

[SpectreT]

Nope, no fetish required.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Who knows? But have you ever met anyone at all who did not have a fetish about something? Everyone has their "stuff". It is not required, but it shows up anyway, lol.

Eb

 

[SpectreT]

Who knows? But have you ever met anyone at all who did not have a fetish about something? Everyone has their "stuff". It is not required, but it shows up anyway, lol.

Eb

Heh. I was going to post more than my one liner, somewhat along these lines, but I lost the point of my thought. I hate stream of consciousness almost as much as 2nd person narration erotic fiction, so I didn't.

I'll post it now that the discussion door's been opened, though.

How you use "fetish" is important, too, when you're trying to understand yourself and how your mind works. There's clinical and colloquial uses of the word.

Example: "Corset Fetish"

Clinical = You (or your partner) MUST wear a corset to become aroused.

Colloquial = "Gee, corsets look sexy/make me feel sexy to wear! I like them a lot!"

Nearly everyone has several colloquial fetishes. There aren't as many people with clinical ones, I don't think. I would not be surprised if the ratio of clinical to colloquial was a little different among the already kinked, but not significantly different. But this is all supposition on my part.

 

[poppy1963]

Interesting responses, thank you all. Another question...I, too, am a bibliophile...lol...if you DO have a fetish on one kind or another does that make you more prone to more?

I guess there IS a dx category for this in the DSM...I forgot about it!

 

[Ebonyfire]

Heh. I was going to post more than my one liner, somewhat along these lines, but I lost the point of my thought. I hate stream of consciousness almost as much as 2nd person narration erotic fiction, so I didn't.

I'll post it now that the discussion door's been opened, though.

How you use "fetish" is important, too, when you're trying to understand yourself and how your mind works. There's clinical and colloquial uses of the word.

Example: "Corset Fetish"

Clinical = You (or your partner) MUST wear a corset to become aroused.

Colloquial = "Gee, corsets look sexy/make me feel sexy to wear! I like them a lot!"

Nearly everyone has several colloquial fetishes. There aren't as many people with clinical ones, I don't think. I would not be surprised if the ratio of clinical to colloquial was a little different among the already kinked, but not significantly different. But this is all supposition on my part.

My train of thought derails a lot these days, so it is another reason I just post quick and dirty. I like how you broke it down though. Very apt.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Interesting responses, thank you all. Another question...I, too, am a bibliophile...lol...if you DO have a fetish on one kind or another does that make you more prone to more?

I guess there IS a dx category for this in the DSM...I forgot about it!

I would have to say no because to date, I have met few people I know who do not admit to some kind of fetish. And I doubt if they are on the slippery slope to D/s because of it.

 

[CutieMouse]

Interesting responses, thank you all. Another question...I, too, am a bibliophile...lol...if you DO have a fetish on one kind or another does that make you more prone to more?

I guess there IS a dx category for this in the DSM...I forgot about it!

Interesting question... I'm not sure that one fetish causes you to be more likely to develop more fetishes.

I doubt any of mine could be classified as clinical, although I am the only person I know who gets physically aroused, when dealing with early (pre 1600) books. There are images of 11th-15th century books that are almost like porn to me. My old boss used to say I "vibrated", if I was around a book published before 1750.

I do feel that recognizing the yummy feelings fetish creates, gives one a foundation that makes it easier to notice similar feelings/other colloquial fetishes. I get a similar feeling from tightlacing, and fabulous shoes, as I do from early books. Corsets and shoes are an "understood" fetish; the book thing is just weird. *laughing*

 

[SpectreT]

Interesting responses, thank you all. Another question...I, too, am a bibliophile...lol...if you DO have a fetish on one kind or another does that make you more prone to more?

I guess there IS a dx category for this in the DSM...I forgot about it!

We'll stick with "colloquial", for the purposes of this discussion. I'm more comfortable there, as I'm not a professional in the psych field. I'm just an armchair enthusiast.

I don't know if "Prone to more" is the right phrase. It's somewhat Pavlovian, I suppose. Going back to corsets, if you're a collector of erotic imagery (Read that; someone who downloads a truckload of porn of the net ), you'll see some things tend to go with corsets; stockings, heels, long gloves... so those tend to become eroticized as well. (ding ding - woof woof)

 

[Xelebes]

My dress is so minimalist, I have absolutely no fetishes adorned on my body.

 

[poppy1963]

We'll stick with "colloquial", for the purposes of this discussion. I'm more comfortable there, as I'm not a professional in the psych field. I'm just an armchair enthusiast.

I don't know if "Prone to more" is the right phrase. It's somewhat Pavlovian, I suppose. Going back to corsets, if you're a collector of erotic imagery (Read that; someone who downloads a truckload of porn of the net ), you'll see some things tend to go with corsets; stockings, heels, long gloves... so those tend to become eroticized as well. (ding ding - woof woof)

That makes sense. I've never really explored these things at all before and I find it all (BDSM) very interesting and sometimes very shocking. LOL...

 

[MasterGremlin]

Someone that is open minded enough to explore the possibilities of a BDSM relationship is more prone to having fetishes in my opinion (providing their BDSM experience is a positive one). Not as a "slippery slope" or in a negative manner. The ability/desire to throw off social "norms" in one area shows the ability to explore other areas without being close minded. Having one fetish, for the same reason, probably opens you up to the opportunity to other fetishes as well. All of this is in the "colloquial" sense of the term.

 

[Ebonyfire]

I personally think that the difference between someone who is involved in BDSM or other forms of this alternative lifestyle and the so called "vanillas" is that they have the ability to communicate their fetish to someone who can satisfy it or understand it.

What I mean is that people will not talk about a fetish if they are ashamed of it or that feel that they will be judged or ridiculed for it.

I have said this a hundred times, I have never met a man who was not kinky and/or had at least one fetish they would tell me. If I had a dollar for every man that has told me that I was the only person who they felt they could tell their secret to.

Acceptance opens the door, to a lot of kinkiness.

Eb

 

[FurryFury]

Acceptance opens the door, to a lot of kinkiness.Eb

I totally agree with you! If only more people could feel accepted!

Fury

 

[poppy1963]

I have so many questions...can I ask more? I mean no offense by saying I feel shocked at times. I do...but I also recognize some of this in me. It's a quandry really...you know? I have more questions. I thank you all for bearing with me.

 

[CutieMouse]

What questions? What shocks you?

(Yes I'm avoiding working 'cause I just don't wanna...)

 

[poppy1963]

What questions? What shocks you?

(Yes I'm avoiding working 'cause I just don't wanna...)

I am glad you are avoiding work then! LOL.

Here's a question...from a most uneducated person in these ways.

When I come into dallying with another who claims to be dom...I want to be the dom. LOL

When I come into dallying with another who wants to be the sub...I seek to be the sub.

It is crazy to me. Is this uncommon?

 

[CutieMouse]

It doesn't seem all that crazy to me. Very few people are 100% dominant or 100% submissive, and a lot of people "switch" back and forth... If I understand you properly, though, you feel more submissive around other submissives, and more dominant around other dominants?

 

[Betticus]

I am glad you are avoiding work then! LOL.

Here's a question...from a most uneducated person in these ways.

When I come into dallying with another who claims to be dom...I want to be the dom. LOL

When I come into dallying with another who wants to be the sub...I seek to be the sub.

It is crazy to me. Is this uncommon?

If you have very good communication skills then it makes a lot of sense that you react this way. When interacting with people we all have a tendency to pull up shared past experiences that allow us to better understand the people we are around. If you have both dominant and submissive sides of yourself you could just be reacting naturally in order to facilitate better communication and make the interaction more comfortable.

 

[Quint]

.............

 

[myinnerslut]

A friend mentioned something she read (which I didn't get the link for, unfortunately) which suggested that foot fetishes exist because the part of the brain that processes "feet" is adjacent to the part of the brain that processes "sex." (I'll learn the technical names one of these days, I swear! I sound ig'nant even to me!) Anyway, synapses sometimes fire a little off to one side and voila! Feet are sexy.

That's the gist of it. I'll really try to back it up with the article in the future.

thats an intresting theory... i wonder if it apllies to other fetishes as well.