Aquestion of privacy

[Morsecoded]

I have what a hope is a question related to this forum. While moving my friend I found several pictures of her in Bondage poses, some with a nude male. This was a shock as she is kind of uptight ( or so I thought) and very “in control” in her personal and work life. She is getting married I am to be a brides maid. I want to ask her about the photos, who took them, who the man was. In the photos it was his body only (and nude) and he was not her fiancé as he has tattoos. I don’t want to embarrass her or look like I was snooping. But I was thrilled to she her in those poses, so opposite of her personality she portrays and I keep thinking of them and want to talk to her. I am looking for the opinions of people more familiar with the life style, should I just leave the whole thing alone, or bring it up?
Thanks

 

[shy slave]

I owuld leave well alone, if she had wanted you to know she qould have told you. As for pics not being her fiance. they could have been old pics or she may play without being unfaithful.
Forget about the pics they are not your business.
Enjoy helping her at her wedding and help her make the day special.

 

[crazyivan]

I would leave it alone as well. Nothing to do with the lifestyle at all. Like shy slave said, if she wanted you to know she would tell you about it. It is her privacy, and I wouldn't invade it.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Hmm... I agree - and disagree - with the responses you've already received.

I agree that you probably should not address the pictures you saw, as that very likely could be taken as a direct invasion of her privacy, and could do serious damage to your relationship with her.

However, presuming that you're indicating an interest in BDSM activities -- if you really want to pursue this with her you might consider, when the opportunity comes up, as in one of those moments when two good friends may talk about anything and everything, gently inserting a comment like (example), "I saw this movie the other day ... Secretary (or whatever) ... and wow! Some of that stuff was so HOT!" perhaps with an example of a scene that excited you. That would open the door - whether she chose to enter it would then be entirely up to her, and you would not take the risk (or as great a risk) of compromising your friendship with her.

But that's just me....... YMMV

 

[shy slave]

I like your reply Sir_W but I know if it were me and this woman did not choose to pick up the conversation it would drive me crazy as to the reasons behind her keeping quiet

Nope I will stick to leave well alone, private is private.

 

[graceanne]

I agree with Sir W. I don't think you should bring up the picture, you're either going to embarrass the hell out of your friend, or piss them off. Either way, it's not condusive to bringing up a conversation.
But I can definately see you wanting to talk about it now that you know that you both are into bondage. You can bring it up by telling her that you are into bondage. Or something like that. That way she won't feel attacked or on the spot. You can even just tell her that you are saving up for a . . . something like a set of shackles or something. She might not take the bate right away, so be sure to give her time. It's not something that some people are comfortable talking about.

 

[s'lara]

This question is about matters of privacy and not necessarily BDSM.

If the pictures were of the person with farm animals or covered in peanut butter, the issue is still the same. Whether we are familiar with the lifestyle does not make us experts on your dilemma.

We don't know if the photographs were recent or years old. We don't know why you were so thrilled by her in those poses. We also don't know why the photographs should have any bearing on her impending marriage. It is quite possible her fiance is into kink and she has found her match. If you were surprised that she would engage in bondage activities, based on what you know of her, then the adage about not judging a book by its cover is applicable to your situation.

Bottom line, the pictures were hers and obviously private. If she wanted you to know about that side of her, she would tell you. So respect her wishes to keep that part of her life (regardless of whether it is past or present) private until she deems otherwise.

Good luck.

lara

 

[Mr Blonde]

Unless she lintentionally left them out for you to find them, it'd be best to just forget about seeing these pictures and leave well enough alone.

 

[Liana26]

I'd like to contribute another agreement with Sir_W. Don't mention the pictures, just bring up the subject casually and watch her reaction very closely. It's *slightly* manipulative but at least it won't damage your relationship or anything like that.

 

[RachaelStar]

well Im new here so Hi all and I'm going to be different I think tell her, I think she will like the fact that you know I think she might get off on it, I know I would and you never know you might get lucky ;-)

 

[TigerClaw]

I was going to say, Talk to her in private. Tell her how you liked the picks and admired them and wanted to know more about the topic.

I feel those above in the posting do not agree with this aproach either???

BUT I will not go against the board. If they say No, It is NO. I could see you bringing the topic up in general. I would not mention those pics or wanting pics. You may open a line of communication but be careful.

 

[vogueboy]

I owuld leave well alone, if she had wanted you to know she qould have told you. As for pics not being her fiance. they could have been old pics or she may play without being unfaithful.
Forget about the pics they are not your business.
Enjoy helping her at her wedding and help her make the day special.

Eloquently written, I agree.

I think that she (Morsecoded) knows what her descion is, after reading all the consensus posts.

Well, that's my 2 cents

Good luck with the Wedding plans.

 

[princess4u]

if i were in your friend's position and you had found photos of me, i would want you to tell me - i hate the thought of a "friend" withholding something like that

of course i would not pressure her to talk about them and i wouldn't ask questions about them - if she chooses to talk about them, all the better - i would merely tell her that i had seen them by accident and let her know i am open to a discussion

since you are a close enough friend to be her bridesmaid, i'm assuming you found them by accident rather than snooping....

 

[Morsecoded]

I havent mentioned it to her. I did find them by accident but was startled by the eroticsim of the photos. Thought very pretty my friend usally doesnt play up her erotic side. They are one of those couples you cant picture doing it. She looked so turned on in the pictures that thye gave ,e materbation material for the last week. I dont think Ill mention it, maybe someday on a girls night out I'll bring a selection of porn and see what she says. thanks for the replies. PS did I mention the hotness of the guys body in the pic

 

[Etoile]

thye gave ,e materbation material for the last week.

Did you keep them, or were you merely remembering them?

 

[Morsecoded]

I didnt keep them, but I have since thought of them often. I havnt mentioned them to anyone eles, not my boyfriend or other friends. I was imagining being domed with her buy that body. Shes not one of my friends with wich I talk to in depth about sex. I really only have one girl friend that I can talk to, we have even masterbated togther to porn and each others sexual fantasies. But I would like to deepin my relationship with this person but I would not risk losing her friendship over these pictures. Thanks for everyones input.

 

[Bridget69]

I wouldn't mention it. Perhaps those photographs were taken a long time ago and they don't have any bearing at all on her current relationship.