Apology vs. Regret

[Zamdrist]

I think too often people spew out words...then turn around and apologize for them. Personally I try to steer away from that and express regret for my words or actions. It just doesn't ring true to me, IMHO.

Agree? Disagree? Flame me?

 

[lobito]

I'd much sooner regret, than appologize. Though I appologize a lot in my life. I'm a fuck up, so sue me.

 

[MechaBlade]

I express regret through apologies. What more could the person ask for? Some of your blood?

 

[cybergirly]

I will willing apologize if someone can prove to me I was wrong. If I wasn't, or it can't be proved I was then I will neither apologize nor regret.

 

[naudiz]

What's the difference between expressing regret and apologizing? Isn't this a matter of semantics?

 

[Sillyman]

I can show regret through apology, but when I can do more than that I try to.

 

[Zamdrist]

Example:

I think the biggest mistake John Rocker made was to apologize for his words. They were already said and done, it wouldn't make him be liked by people or extinguish the hatred.

Certainly he could regret his words, and move on. But apologize? What's the point? Yeah, he didn't have a choice, because people were all over him, the media, his employers, the public.

Express sincere regret, on your own timetable.

 

[Private Vasquez]

I apologize for being regretful

 

[Rambling Rose]

I regret apologizing.

 

[MechaBlade]

Okay, so I guess Zam's main complaint is that people apologizing when they don't mean it. Fine, don't do that. But no one can tell if you regret your actions or not unless you apologize. I respect anyone that apologizes and MEANS it. Obviously.

Even if you don't mean it, apologies (saying you were wrong) hint that you might have been wrong. It can be a punishment for those who think they are right. That's why it's good John Rocker apologized. He'll probably never express regret on any timetable. Might as well make him apologize and make him feel stupid.

 

[kotori]

I'm sorry you brought the subject up in the first place.

 

[amelia]

wouldn't it be better to think BEFORE you said something you'd regret...or acted a way you wish you hadn't...?

 

[Zamdrist]

wouldn't it be better to think BEFORE you said something you'd regret...or acted a way you wish you hadn't...?

It most certainly would.
It most certainly would.

 

[Zamdrist]

Might as well make him apologize and make him feel stupid.

To what end?

 

[lobito]

wouldn't it be better to think BEFORE you said something you'd regret...or acted a way you wish you hadn't...?

Yes of course it would, but we're not perfect. Most of us aren't anyway.

 

[naudiz]

Is it a matter of sincerity, then? An empty apology or expression of regret (I still think those are synonymous) is just that: empty. It doesn't mean anything. If you're not sorry you did or said something, don't say you are just to get back in the good graces of whoever you pissed off. Sure, I buy that. I'll take an honest asshole over an insincere repentant any day.

I'm not seeing the difference between apologizing and expressing regret. Are you saying don't bother expressing your regret? That if you're truly regretful, let your actions speak louder than your words? God, when did I become a raging fucktard? I used to understand simple concepts!

If I've fucked up, I do both. Express regret with an apology, then reinforce that expression with my actions. But if I'm not sorry, y'all can eat my shorts.

 

[Zamdrist]

And to think, I was sleepy 10 minutes ago. Blood pumping now.

LOL

 

[MechaBlade]

To what end?

To what end... to what... ?

Look, he apologizes and I can laugh at him for doing something he doesn't want to. Have you ever been forced to apologize? I have. It sucks.

 

[Zamdrist]

Look, he apologizes and I can laugh at him for doing something he doesn't want to. Have you ever been forced to apologize? I have. It sucks.

Not as an adult no. Were I forced to I would choose my words carefully. Apologizing, saying "I apologize" or "I'm sorry" doesn't take back what was said or done.

Neither does merely expressing your regret. It's more of a mind set I'm driving at here...sincerity on a time table that makes sense.

And let's not get too deep into Rocker, it was an example...let this not be about him, yeah, I brought him up.

 

[MechaBlade]

I am a man of my word. If I say "I'm sorry" then (chances are) I mean it. I can't make it simpler than that.

 

[Zamdrist]

I am a man of my word. If I say "I'm sorry" then (chances are) I mean it. I can't make it simpler than that.

I don't mean to insult you. If "I'm sorry" works for you, then great. Personally I think it's overused and often abused. Maybe not by you but others.

"I truly regret my actions and will strive to avoid that behavior in the future."

That works for me. That's all.

 

[MechaBlade]

"I truly regret my actions and will strive to avoid that behavior in the future."

That's an apology.