Anyone got a spare banjo?

[starrkers]

For the past four years I've been living (with my husband and three kids) with family while we build our own dream home.
Things have been getting a little fraught since I was no longer needed to care for my father-in-law (he went into a nursing home and died last year).
So, we're taking the plunge and moving out to our dream block (it's a couple of acres just out of town) and moving into a system of humpies - the main one being a caravan with kitchen and bathroom; a second caravan (maybe, gotta find it yet) and a shed/annexe.
We will be taking our half dozen chooks; small dog; three cats and the two very little dumped kittens we found last week.

Thankfully the car body has been removed from the block...

 

[minsue]

Hmmm....nope, no banjos. Will you take an accordian?

http://addis-welt.de/smilie/smilie/musik/akkordeon.gif


Best of luck on the move. Hope it goes with the least amount of stress possible.

 

[S-Des]

Does it have the Bassett hound tied to the tree out front? How about the bug light on the front porch?

Can you tell I grew up in the country?

 

[starrkers]

No, but it will have chickens roaming around freely.

Guess I'll have to start callin' my kids by all their names...

 

[cloudy]

Don't forget the porch with the dogs underneath it. Oh, it needs a refriderator on it, too.

(I live in the country)

 

[glynndah]

Rules for Country Living

1. All country property must have at least one vehicle of questionable drivability on it at all times. Cement blocks are a preferred but not mandatory accessory.

2. You must display at least one piece of indoor furniture outside your residence. Extra style points will be rewarded if points 1 and 2 can be combined: a plaid couch in the bed of a pickup, a bean bag instead of a passenger seat, or a vinyl recliner on the front porch.

3. There must be at least one oversized spare tire prominently utilized as either a tire swing or flower bed. Some leeway will be given if tires are stacked in multiples but not used in the above suggested ways.

4. Any outbuildings on said property should possess at least one corner that is not a right angle. Bonus points if building is supported by the furniture or pick up truck from earlier listings.

5. All wood, bricks and similar building supplies should be piled upon and next to the battered appliance. Said appliance shall be working or non-working.

5. Be sure to train your dog to spend most of its time on top of the doghouse. A country dog knows this by instinct, but a "transplant" may have to be trained.

6. All children should be given at least three names, the most desirable middle ones being Bob, Joe and Sue. However, all children should be addressed as "Sissy" and "Bubba".

7. All directions given to your place of residence should include the one of the following phrases: "It's the old (name of person who has been dead or gone at least 25 years) place"; "Do you know where old man Blank used to live"; or "It's where the (insert obscure building here) used to be before it burned down". Please feel free to add any changes necessary for your place of domicile.

Note: All country areas have their own variations of these rules. But this list should get you started.

 

[cloudy]

5. Be sure to train your dog to spend most of its time on top of the doghouse. A country dog knows this by instinct, but a "transplant" may have to be trained.

Note: a porch doubles as a dog house, but if used, the dog should remain under the porch

6. All children should be given at least three names, the most desirable middle ones being Bob, Joe and Sue. However, all children should be addressed as "Sissy" and "Bubba".

"Junior" is an acceptable substitute.

 

[SeaCat]

Sorry no Banjo's but I do have some extra cats.

I live in a Mobile Home so I reckon that counts.

Cat

 

[glynndah]

Sorry no Banjo's but I do have some extra cats.

I live in a Mobile Home so I reckon that counts.

Cat

With all your renovations, that Mobile Home is rapidly becoming the Fortress of Solitude.

 

[SeaCat]

With all your renovations, that Mobile Home is rapidly becoming the Fortress of Solitude.

Actually it's becoming my RedNeck Palace.

The floors are almost finished, then we start on the walls. (Not to mention as soon as the anchors come in I will be putting those in.)

Cat

 

[oggbashan]

I think you would need a bulldozer and chain saw before the banjo if your block is anything like the ones my classmates owned when I was at school in Australia.

Plus a system of killing the lethal wildlife before it kills you.

Og

 

[S-Des]

Rules for Country Living

1. All country property must have at least one vehicle of questionable drivability on it at all times. Cement blocks are a preferred but not mandatory accessory.

2. You must display at least one piece of indoor furniture outside your residence. Extra style points will be rewarded if points 1 and 2 can be combined: a plaid couch in the bed of a pickup, a bean bag instead of a passenger seat, or a vinyl recliner on the front porch.

3. There must be at least one oversized spare tire prominently utilized as either a tire swing or flower bed. Some leeway will be given if tires are stacked in multiples but not used in the above suggested ways.

4. Any outbuildings on said property should possess at least one corner that is not a right angle. Bonus points if building is supported by the furniture or pick up truck from earlier listings.

5. All wood, bricks and similar building supplies should be piled upon and next to the battered appliance. Said appliance shall be working or non-working.

5. Be sure to train your dog to spend most of its time on top of the doghouse. A country dog knows this by instinct, but a "transplant" may have to be trained.

6. All children should be given at least three names, the most desirable middle ones being Bob, Joe and Sue. However, all children should be addressed as "Sissy" and "Bubba".

7. All directions given to your place of residence should include the one of the following phrases: "It's the old (name of person who has been dead or gone at least 25 years) place"; "Do you know where old man Blank used to live"; or "It's where the (insert obscure building here) used to be before it burned down". Please feel free to add any changes necessary for your place of domicile.

Note: All country areas have their own variations of these rules. But this list should get you started.

All good and accurate, but you forgot the single most important accessory...the Confederate flag. It can be painted on the car, the house, or you can have a real one hanging somewhere that is appropriately reverent (like maybe by the outhouse ).

 

[oggbashan]

All good and accurate, but you forgot the single most important accessory...the Confederate flag. It can be painted on the car, the house, or you can have a real one hanging somewhere that is appropriately reverent (like maybe by the outhouse ).

The Australian equivalent is the Eureka Stockade flag: Flag
More information about the Eureka Stockade:Here

The Eureka Stockade is the Australian symbol for resistance to the G'vment.

Og

 

[shereads]

Favorite bumper sticker:

"Use an accordian, go to jail. That's the law."

Sorry dear. I only have two banjos, and I use both of them. One as a doorstop, and one as a weapon. Sometimes I pretend they're ukeleles and invite the neighbors over for Hawaiian Day.

 

[cloudy]

All good and accurate, but you forgot the single most important accessory...the Confederate flag. It can be painted on the car, the house, or you can have a real one hanging somewhere that is appropriately reverent (like maybe by the outhouse ).

that's actually not as prevalent as ignorant yankees love to think it is.

 

[Misty_Morning]

that's actually not as prevalent as ignorant yankees love to think it is.

LOL (you should have met my ex-hsband)



Actually, I thought this thread had something to do with the old question "How do you get a hippy to dance?"

 

[SeaCat]

I must be a bad Red Neck/Southern Boy.

I do not drive a Pickup and I don't have a gun rack in my car. (Although I do have a Holster attached to the side of the drivers seat.)

I do not have a Republic Battle flag anywhere on my property, or as a tattoo. (I do however have an American Flag flying from See to Cantsee.)

There are no statues of little black boys that you can tie your horse and buggy to, but there are a couple of plastic Flamingo's in the yard.

The only piles of trash around my place are either my neighbors, or at the curb on trash day.

I don't have any kids, but I do have a cat named Bubba Shay. Does that count?

I can hunt and fish with the best, and yet I can cook gourmet meals.

I use Ya'll when talking with other people. Even when I'm talking to them about their medical condition. I also speak two languages and am teaching myself a third.

I work for a living and look upon others who chose not to as being without honor.

I listen to country music, as well as clasical and opera among others.

I do not believe that God looks like either Ted Nugent, Richard Petty or Elvis.

I do not have a Rap Sheet, in the United States.

I love listening to Jeff Foxworthy and his friends, just as I find many others funny.

My wife and I are both bored by Sitcoms and Soap Operas.

Walker Texas Ranger was too damned funny.

Duct Tape is great, as a temporary fix.

There are no Spitoons or ThunderJugs in my house.

There is a sign on the front door warning that anyone caught inside will be shot.

I have informed my neighbors that I can and will eat their dogs.

I hate Moonpies.

Bisquites and Gravy is a food staple.

The South may rise again, in protest against Bush. (A son of the south.) and if so it will do so under the American Flag.

I believe in ones right to bear arms, as well as ones right to bare Arms and anything else.

Cat

 

[SeaCat]

Oh and Starrkers, I don't have a Banjo but I do have a spare Coffee pot if you need one. (Either stove top or electric.)

Cat

 

[glynndah]

SeaCat: Did you know they know have duct tape 12 inches wide now?

 

[TE999]

Phooey on that sissyfied Duck Tape!

The folks who make Gorilla Glue now make Gorilla Tape.

It's similar to the stuff that holds airplanes together.

Try it on your roof before the next windstorm (lol).

Peace.

 

[shereads]

I must be a bad Red Neck/Southern Boy.

I do not drive a Pickup and I don't have a gun rack in my car. (Although I do have a Holster attached to the side of the drivers seat.)

I do not have a Republic Battle flag anywhere on my property, or as a tattoo. (I do however have an American Flag flying from See to Cantsee.)

There are no statues of little black boys that you can tie your horse and buggy to, but there are a couple of plastic Flamingo's in the yard.

The only piles of trash around my place are either my neighbors, or at the curb on trash day.

I don't have any kids, but I do have a cat named Bubba Shay. Does that count?

I can hunt and fish with the best, and yet I can cook gourmet meals.

I use Ya'll when talking with other people. Even when I'm talking to them about their medical condition. I also speak two languages and am teaching myself a third.

I work for a living and look upon others who chose not to as being without honor.

I listen to country music, as well as clasical and opera among others.

I do not believe that God looks like either Ted Nugent, Richard Petty or Elvis.

I do not have a Rap Sheet, in the United States.

I love listening to Jeff Foxworthy and his friends, just as I find many others funny.

My wife and I are both bored by Sitcoms and Soap Operas.

Walker Texas Ranger was too damned funny.

Duct Tape is great, as a temporary fix.

There are no Spitoons or ThunderJugs in my house.

There is a sign on the front door warning that anyone caught inside will be shot.

I have informed my neighbors that I can and will eat their dogs.

I hate Moonpies.

Bisquites and Gravy is a food staple.

The South may rise again, in protest against Bush. (A son of the south.) and if so it will do so under the American Flag.

I believe in ones right to bear arms, as well as ones right to bare Arms and anything else.

Cat

You attend family reunions to meet girls.

The front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.

 

[SeaCat]

Phooey on that sissyfied Duck Tape!

The folks who make Gorilla Glue now make Gorilla Tape.

It's similar to the stuff that holds airplanes together.

Try it on your roof before the next windstorm (lol).

Peace.

Better yet, they make a Duct Type Tape reinfirced with Kevlar. You can pull a car with a single strip of it. Gotta love it.

Cat

 

[SeaCat]

You attend family reunions to meet girls.

The front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.

You make a hot tub with a trolling motor.

Someone asks you for your ID and you show you Belt Buckle.

You have to wait for the Parole Board Meeting before scheduling your family reunion.

Cat

 

[TE999]

You make a hot tub with a trolling motor.

Someone asks you for your ID and you show you Belt Buckle.

You have to wait for the Parole Board Meeting before scheduling your family reunion.

Cat

You and your dog use the same tree.

You've been married three times and have the same in-laws.

Your house still has the 'wide load' sign on the back (lol).

You brought a fishing pole when you took the young 'uns to 'Sea World'

Peace.

 

[cloudy]

All these generalizations are fun as long as people realize they're more fiction than fact. There are people like me in the south. I speak two languages fluently, and two more close to fluent; I have a Bachelor of Science degree from a university with chairs of excellence in two departments; I'm on my way to my master's in clinical psychology, and at no time have displayed the rebel flag anywhere.