Anybody been here?

[aubergene]

A few years ago my s/o met another couple and became very good friends. A flirtation developed between myself and the woman in the other couple. My s/o and I fantasized and also had serious conversations about the potential for exploring a sexual relationship between myself and the other woman. A while back both our s/o's were out of town with work, and she came over for dinner and we wound up downing a few bottles of wine. About 3 am we decided to hop in the shower, which led to full blown sex between the two of us. Now, the kicker: my s/o knew what we were doing because I had been texting him and he had given me the ok. I have no idea what, if anything she told her s/o before the event occurred. After words I think she and I were both fairly convinced that we were happy leaving it at that, and not pursuing this side of things any further. Now my s/o is struggling with the situation. We both realize it was a huge drunken mistake, and that we both carry responsibility for what happened, but he cannot get it out of his head. He is not angry with me, just the situation. How do I help him deal with this? We have never had to deal with infidelity before, and are both comfortable with the knowledge that it will probably not happen ever again, I just hate to see him so tormented by his thoughts!

 

[iswallowloads]

A few years ago my s/o met another couple and became very good friends. A flirtation developed between myself and the woman in the other couple. My s/o and I fantasized and also had serious conversations about the potential for exploring a sexual relationship between myself and the other woman. A while back both our s/o's were out of town with work, and she came over for dinner and we wound up downing a few bottles of wine. About 3 am we decided to hop in the shower, which led to full blown sex between the two of us. Now, the kicker: my s/o knew what we were doing because I had been texting him and he had given me the ok. I have no idea what, if anything she told her s/o before the event occurred. After words I think she and I were both fairly convinced that we were happy leaving it at that, and not pursuing this side of things any further. Now my s/o is struggling with the situation. We both realize it was a huge drunken mistake, and that we both carry responsibility for what happened, but he cannot get it out of his head. He is not angry with me, just the situation. How do I help him deal with this? We have never had to deal with infidelity before, and are both comfortable with the knowledge that it will probably not happen ever again, I just hate to see him so tormented by his thoughts!

I understand his feelings, but does it count as infidelity if he gave his consent? Did he feel pressured to 'allow' it, or was he o.k. until after it happened? What's tormenting him exactly - that you were with another person or another woman?

I'd say, just don't judge him or tell him he's wrong for feeling the way he is. As long as you agree it will never happen again and love each other, it'll be o.k. Some things just take time. I hope it works out.

 

[SirLeo]

Share and enjoy

Why not share all the details with him? He'll probably get very excited and it will lead to hot sex. Then, it will become not an infidelity, but a source of excitement form sharing a wild pleasure together.