any tips?

[sabbracadabra]

So here's the deal: I'm getting *involved* with this guy who's kind of a LOT more experienced than me. He really wants to have sex with me and have me give him head, but there's a few problems.

Problem 1: I'm literally afraid to have sex with him because he is very thick. I am not very loose and I have tried to have sex with someone his size before and it really just wasn't going to happen, even though I was really aroused. So I think this is either going to be very painful or isn't going to happen at all. Any ideas on how to make it work?

Problem 2: I've literally gone down on someone only twice before, and I guess I'm not terrible at it (they finished) but I really don't know what the hell I'm doing. I know this guy has had a lot more experience than me and I don't want to disappoint him, but I also don't want to just try all sorts of trick shit right off the bat and freak him out/do it badly. Are there any really basic tricks of the trade that are easy but work well?

So I hope y'all can help me here... I especially feel weird about this because he's definitely pleased me but I haven't done much for him...

Thanks, and rock on

 

[BlueSugar]

welcome welcome welcome ( I love the song btw )


Lube lube lube lube... natural or not. Have him finger you a little, lots of foreplay.

as for the blowjob... there are about a million and one threads on it. Try Cocksucking 101 (do a search its between the f.a.q and home buttons at the top of your screen)

Though I'm sure many others will post and help, its what we're all here for.


and again welcome, stay a while, relax, we're all family here... ::

 

[sabbracadabra]

hahaha I know, there are a zillion things on blow jobs here... definitely kind of overwhelming.

If life were a cocksucking race, I think everyone here is about 3,000 miles ahead of me.

will lube make it not hurt, or will it just make it so that he can get in?

Rock on

 

[Ljbonobo]

Coming from a guy...... and no i'm not trying to be insensitivive.

I've had comments b/c I'm somewhat larger than average. Just take it slow and it'll work, and use lots of lube. I prfer to perform a very sloppy oral first to make sure its lubed up. I'm sorry if a child's head can fit through it, it'll fit.....If he's bigger than that I'm really scared for you.

for the blowjob just start with what you know and ask him for what he likes, or try different things and ask him what is good and what isn't. each guy is different and what works on one won't work on another


(editited for bj comments)

 

[CelticFrog]

I'm sorry if a child's head can fit through it, it'll fit.....If he's bigger than that I'm really scared for you.

Just gotta debunk the usual child's head misconception.

There's chemicals released during pregnancy and labor that allow tendons to loosen and the pelvic bones to spread. Those tendons tighten right back up afterwards.

So just because a child's head can fit through during labor doesn't mean that a small woman can easily fit a larger man during sex.

Ang

 

[midwestyankee]

Just gotta debunk the usual child's head misconception.

There's chemicals released during pregnancy and labor that allow tendons to loosen and the pelvic bones to spread. Those tendons tighten right back up afterwards.

So just because a child's head can fit through during labor doesn't mean that a small woman can easily fit a larger man during sex.

Ang

Point well made. However, Masters and Johnson got it right when they said the vagina is a "potential space." There should be room for just about anyone with the proper amount of lubrication and relaxation.

 

[millieteases]

Lube, arousal, lube, arousal, lube - and lots and lots of patience. If it hurts, do something else. Good sex is not just penetration. If he's as experienced as you say he is, he'll know and appreciate that.

As for the blowjob - my spouse says innocent works. If you want technique check the threads. Otherwise, just do what feels right and ask him what he likes for you to do. Then do it.

 

[CelticFrog]

Good point, MWY. One that I should have mentioned.

Stretching is a good thing, too. Work your way up to him. He should be smart enough to acknowledge his own size and understand your worries. He can start with fingers, adding more, etc. Go slow.

It can work, but it may take more patience, time, and lube than you're used to.

Ang

 

[BlueSugar]

try being on top if you feel as if you are ready to have sex, its going to be uncomfortable but you can come over that. Go SUPER slow, allow your body to get used to the new feelings. Once you have him inside as far as you can allow yourself... stay right there, don't move... flex your vaginal muscles around him... rock your hips back and forth. Lean foward, try leaning back a little. You're in control for the most part. Move around, twist your body... only when you are comfortable with the feeling, start moving up and down, in and out .. you get the point

 

[angela146]

It sounds like part of your concern is fear that he might think you're too naive and loose interest. The reverse might be true: he might enjoy your lack of experience and enjoy being your "almost first".

One option would be to play into it: "Um... sweetie... I'm almost a virgin and you have so much more experience than I do... could you teach me what to do?"

That might just make him come right there.

Of course, you would have to ask yourself if you can trust him not to take advantage, but I think you have to ask yourself that anyway.

Also, I have to say that "... I guess I'm not terrible at it (they finished)..." is giving yourself too little credit. It took me *years* of trial and error to give my first oral sex orgasm. If you did it on the first or second try, pat yourself on the back.

You aren't a failure as a woman if you can't give a blow job to completion. I've been married for 8 years and can only do it 10-20% of the time with my own husband.

As for the tightness and pain, sometimes it helps if you tone your PC (pubococcygeus) muscle. That sounds like a contradiction in terms but PC muscle exercises can help you learn how to relax it. That is one of the things you have to learn how to do in order to take a "too large" penis.

Yes, there are other things that have to stretch but the PC muscle is first on the list.

See: http://www.goodvibes.com/cgi-bin/sgdynamo.exe?HTNAME=store/info/pcmuscle.html or search for pubococcygeus on Lit or in Google.

Finally, most people aren't very good at sex until they've practiced for a while. If he has a lot of experience, he probably already knows that.

 

[sabbracadabra]

WOW... thanks for all the advice! I definitely did not even think of the whole "show me how it's done" being a turn on... guess that's because I like a man with experience.

I definitely feel more confident about straddling this guy. You guys ROCK!

 

[Phoenix Stone]

Also, I hate to put this so bluntly but for most guys, all you have to do to impress them is to show up. If you're happy, and even enthusiastic about being there, that's the icing on the cake.
Technique? Well, you don't want the guy coming Too soon!

 

[seldomseen]

So here's the deal: I'm getting *involved* with this guy who's kind of a LOT more experienced than me. He really wants to have sex with me and have me give him head, but there's a few problems.

Problem 1: I'm literally afraid to have sex with him because he is very thick. I am not very loose and I have tried to have sex with someone his size before and it really just wasn't going to happen, even though I was really aroused. So I think this is either going to be very painful or isn't going to happen at all. Any ideas on how to make it work?

Problem 2: I've literally gone down on someone only twice before, and I guess I'm not terrible at it (they finished) but I really don't know what the hell I'm doing. I know this guy has had a lot more experience than me and I don't want to disappoint him, but I also don't want to just try all sorts of trick shit right off the bat and freak him out/do it badly. Are there any really basic tricks of the trade that are easy but work well?

So I hope y'all can help me here... I especially feel weird about this because he's definitely pleased me but I haven't done much for him...

Thanks, and rock on

let him know your not to experienced and it will turn him on to the extreeme...please if he's smart he will slow down with you

 

[angela146]

BTW: the reverse is also true. As an experienced woman, it is very rewarding to be a man's "first" or "almost first" or "first good one".

I've had two virgins so far. One was my husband when I was also a virgin but one was a slightly older older male friend (long time friend who was extremely awkward with women).

It was absolutely incredible to teach him how to do it and to see his face and feel his body as he entered a woman for the first time. It's a moment we will both remember for the rest of our lives.

My point: inexperience is a precious thing.