Any help would be appreciated.

[ImAnEvilPoptart]

I'll probably just look pretty dumb for even asking any of this, but I'm not sure what I should do. For the last 5 or so years, I've had a huge crush on one of my sister's friends, but it's almost seemed like more than that every time we spoke, though I'm not exactly sure she feels the same. I've never been able to just bring it up with her, and it's really starting to bother me. You all should probably know that I haven't seen or talked to her in a little less than a year, and it's starting to seem like I'm just obsessed or something. Should I just totally forget about it or what? Thanks for any help =\

 

[ImAnEvilPoptart]

Oh, and this is 100% serious. I'm not trying to mock anyone else with any type of similar problem. I know it might come off that way with this name, but I've had it a while

 

[peachykeen]

Well it probably only seems like you are becoming obsessed to you. Unless you are talking about her endlessly to lots of people, no one else really knows what's going on in your head, right?

Now the thing is, although this sounds like a bit of a high-school problem, I have to assume you are a grown man (or you wouldn't be here at Lit, right? Right?) so why on earth do you not just call her up and ask her out? What's the big hold up? The fact that she might not be interested? Well, yeah, that's the risk you take out here in the big bad world. It seems very clear to me, you ask her out and then you know one way or another, and you don't sit home obsessing and agonizing over it.

A word of warning though - if you have had a crush on her for so long, it is likely that you have built up an image of her in your mind that might be a bit different from how she is to be with in every day reality. I am assuming this crush developed in your adolesence and so you may be harbouring a bit of a delusion about who she really is (as opposed to who you want her to be). If she does want to go out with you, please try to see her in the present, not from your back-catalogue of wank fantasies.

 

[WallyLlama]

Consider this...

If this has been going on for five years, you might consider this. You've probably idealized her in your own mind.

In that sense, you may be a bit "obsessed." If you're not going to take action (and you haven't given any explanation for not making SOME sort of move), start looking for her negative qualities, get her in perspective, and go find some one else.

It sounds like you don't want to make a move unless you're sure she'll respond favorably.

There aren't many guarantees in life.

Fish or cut bait, poop or get off the pot, you've heard 'em, right?

That's not meant to be harsh, it's meant to keep things simple.

 

[ImAnEvilPoptart]

Peachy, while I'm legal now, I wouldn't exactly classify myself as a "grown man" yet. As for why I haven't said anything, I was always shy back in highschool, still am now. And it doesn't really help that every time I've tried she's hooked up with some other guy already. As for how I've built her up, I'm fully aware that she's not like that. I know her about as well as you can know a sibling's friend, and for some reason it just wouldn't seem right to just call her up. I guess it is kinda a high schoolish type thing, but there's not much I can do about that now.

 

[asiasiren]

I know her about as well as you can know a sibling's friend, and for some reason it just wouldn't seem right to just call her up. I guess it is kinda a high schoolish type thing, but there's not much I can do about that now.

Would your sister be willing to act as a go between? Does your sister know your feelings towards this girl? If so, the girl probably already knows.

 

[ImAnEvilPoptart]

Not likely, and no, she doesn't. My sister changes friends like they're car oil, so she hasn't spoken with this person since she got married either. It'd be too weird if I just asked my sister to call her outta no where right now.

 

[peachykeen]

It'd be too weird if I just asked my sister to call her outta no where right now.

Why, what's the big deal?

You're making sooooooo much more out of this than there actually is.

 

[sheath]

Not likely, and no, she doesn't. My sister changes friends like they're car oil, so she hasn't spoken with this person since she got married either. It'd be too weird if I just asked my sister to call her outta no where right now.

Jump for it, man. How you ever gonna know if you don't give it a shot? The absolute worst that can happen is a "no, I'm not interested in you that way."

It's a cliche, yeah, but hey...JUST DO IT.

S.

 

[ABN_Ranger]

Oh sweet googamooga! Just have her call man... suck it up and go for it! Not like your world will end if she says "Piss-off". Seriously though... yer never gonna know until you ask. So my vote is for have her call her friend.

 

[Falkieri]

Call her. When I was your age I did much the same thing you're doing. Then she moved in with a guy and moved away, so I never had the chance to know if anything could have happened or not. It may have taught me not to be THAT shy, but it was too late by then, and I still to this day regret not trying.

 

[sheath]

By the way...

ImAnEvilPoptart has to be one of the coolest screen names I have seen in a long time.

S.