Any help for a virgin? My first story...

[Cammie123]

I originally posted about this in Story Ideas, about a fantasy of mine that I wanted made into a story. The thread kind of fizzled out, so I decided to give the writing a try myself. However, I have never written fiction before, especially not this kind , so I could definitely use some guidance.

I was wondering if anyone would read what I have so far, and give me some hints as to whether or not I’m on the right track? I only have about 700 words so far, it’s very incomplete, and I haven’t even gotten to the juicy parts yet (I’m finding that bit particularly difficult ).
The story is mainly for my own pleasure, based on a dream I had, but I still want it to be perfect.

The idea is basically this; girl (me) gets it on with her black (girl) friend, and their boyfriends join them (haven’t decided yet if I want it to be a three- or foursome). I know it’s a common theme (what isn’t?), but I want to try to avoid it turning out too cliché, if possible. I want it to be very sensual and sexy, and have the main focus on the two women, and the story would probably be most fitting in the Romance category.

Anyone willing to help out a virgin?

 

[cloudy]

Have you checked over at the Editor's Forum? There's some good folks there to help.

I'd be glad to help you, but at the moment I have a deadline for another thing going on.

After June 1 I can help, but don't blame you if you don't want to wait that long.

 

[tiger_smurf]

I'd be glad to read it for you and offer any suggestions.

 

[Boxlicker101]

I originally posted about this in Story Ideas, about a fantasy of mine that I wanted made into a story. The thread kind of fizzled out, so I decided to give the writing a try myself. However, I have never written fiction before, especially not this kind , so I could definitely use some guidance.

I was wondering if anyone would read what I have so far, and give me some hints as to whether or not I’m on the right track? I only have about 700 words so far, it’s very incomplete, and I haven’t even gotten to the juicy parts yet (I’m finding that bit particularly difficult ).
The story is mainly for my own pleasure, based on a dream I had, but I still want it to be perfect.

The idea is basically this; girl (me) gets it on with her black (girl) friend, and their boyfriends join them (haven’t decided yet if I want it to be a three- or foursome). I know it’s a common theme (what isn’t?), but I want to try to avoid it turning out too cliché, if possible. I want it to be very sensual and sexy, and have the main focus on the two women, and the story would probably be most fitting in the Romance category.

Anyone willing to help out a virgin?

Hi, Cammie and welcome to Lit and the AH. I'm not an editor but if you PM it to me, I will read it and let you know what I think. I will say that if you want a lot of people toread it, it would fit better in the lesbian, interracial or group sex categories because Romance stories don't get many views.

The idea behind the story sounds interesting.