Anti-depressants?

[Raeth]

This isn't the kind of thing I would usually ask in here.... but I don't know anyone in my area. Forgive me if you believe that it's not appropriate.

I'm depressed, I know that without a doubt. It's something I have been dealing with pretty well, but now with my wife deployed I just feel like I have lost my center. My closest family lives about 12 hours away. I only eat if I remember, I can't sleep more than four hours a night, becoming slightly paranoid, and in general just have no motivation. I think I have lost about 15 pounds this month.

I know this isn't normal or right, last time I was even close to this depressed was when I was being forced out of the Army. I spoke with the mental health clinic a few times in the months I was waiting for my paperwork to go through. They suggested I go on meds but I really wasn't too fond of the idea. I guess I am afraid of meds becoming a requisite for me to be happy.

Curious if anyone here has any personal experience with this. I know in the end I still need to go talk to someone... just figured it couldn't hurt to ask. If nothing else, thanks for listening to me bitch.

-Travis

 

[snowy ciara]

(((Raeth)))

Wish I could help you there with the meds question, but it's not something I have any experience in. Depression sucks, but we're here for you. You can vent, scream, expound, whatever over here..

 

[graceanne]

Unless their's something wrong with you other than depression, normally meds are just temporary. With depression, it's a matter of your brain isn't firing the hormones that make you happy. If your meds do their job they will 're-teach' your brain to fire those, and then you should go off your meds. That's how it was with me the first time I was on antideppressants. I took them for six months, and then tapered off.

 

[MT_Pitcher]

Unless their's something wrong with you other than depression, normally meds are just temporary. With depression, it's a matter of your brain isn't firing the hormones that make you happy. If your meds do their job they will 're-teach' your brain to fire those, and then you should go off your meds. That's how it was with me the first time I was on antideppressants. I took them for six months, and then tapered off.

Listen to Graceanne on this
I took them for a short while to get past a slump.
They aren't a good thing to stay on permanently unless really needed.
Sometimes depression is caused by a chemical imbalance, sometimes by circumstances. The meds can really help if used with care.
But above all, seek some help....

 

[Raeth]

Thank you so much for the responses. I am going to go see someone at the mental health clinic sometime this week.

It's just not right to do this to my wife, she shouldn't have to worry this much about me. It should be helpful for her to call home, not make things worse.

Thank you for your views, I feel a little more comfortable about going in now.

 

[Vixandra]

Raeth- I can well understand how the military can make one want to scream, cry and loose all modivation (I'm AF).

Talk to your family practice doctor or to the mental health folks. There are a LOT of low dose antidepressants you can go on, just to help you pull yourself out of your current state back to where you should be. Its completely okay to do that. The meds aren't like a knee replacement, they're the crutch you're using to get around on untill you're strong enough to walk on your own.
Yes, I'm medical so explaining it like that's easier for me.

As for talking with your wife- most marriage vows include "In sickness and in health." And they should mean it- if things are as they sound, I'm sure she's already worried. I would be.
You don't have to go into the full details but at least let her know whats going on. You don't want her to find out the wrong way- IE sees a bottle of pills or hears from someone you saw mental health.

A lot of spouses go through depression when thier s/o is deployed- its completely normal. Heck- I get mildly bummed when I'm on a 6 day TDY away from my husband, much less anything more.

Yipes, I've got to run (literally) so I'll check in later. If you've questions fire away.
*hugs*

 

[shy slave]

Raeth
Depression is terrible, I had it last year will try and find the post I put it on and add it into this post.

For me the anxiety brought on paranioa, which in some ways was more difficult to deal with. Its one thing being completly unable to function but thinking that others are watching youor are in your head just compounds the issues (well it did for me).

Everyone deals with it differently, i still get bad days but they are less frequent and I can spot the signs so that puts me more in control of them.
I still take medication (Venlafaxin) which is registered for depression and anxiety. Without it I would have sunk.

Hang in there, a friend and pharmacist who has also 'been there' suggested i rate each day 1-10 in this way i could track my ups and downs. To be honest it sounded like a good idea and I think it is a good idea but I was never motivated enough to do it!!!

Anyway will try and find that link for you. You will find several people on here have had or still have depression and all have good advice.
For me it was a matter of figuring out what was best for me.

You have my thoughts with you xxx

 

[angela146]

Let's clarify something by dividing depression into three categories. This is not scientific and should not be viewed as medical advice. It's just may own understanding of what I have seen and experienced.

There are a lot of people who are chronically depressed and stay on meds for a long period of time. For those people, the meds are a maintenance thing because their brains do not "reset" or learn how to generate the right neurotransmitters on their own.

A second category is the kind that graceanne descrbes which is "needing a reset". For these people, once the primary chemical inbalance is fixed and the receptors are re-calibrated, you can go off the meds.

A third category is people who are depressed "with good cause" or environmental depression. In other words, people who have good reason to be depressed: divorce, lost job, separation from loved ones, death of a family member etc. Here, the meds can help in the short term and will not necessarily become habit forming as long as you use them carefully and keep your doctor informed as to your life issues. This takes a certain amount of skill from both the doctor and patient to tune the doseages and adapt as the environmental issues change.

So, I guess what I would suggest is to see a psychiatrist and dump all of your issues on the table. He/she should ask lots of questions and spend several sessions working with you to figure out where you are and where you need to be.

It is not just a matter of "take some pills and call me in six months".

I am on depression meds. My case is clearly in the first category. Much of my depression is related to my menstrual cycle and has nothing to do with what is going on in my life at the moment. So, my direct experience has very little in common with yours (I presume you don't have a menstrual cycle and you already mentioned that your depression has some real-life causes).

BTW: having a wife deployed in a war zone and being away from her for a long time is enough to make anyone depressed. Don't be too hard on yourself for needing some help.

In the old days, men went off to war and women stayed at home. Women are expected to be all emotionally weak so they get lots of help from friends and family in these times.

The idea of men being at home while their wives are off to war is a relatively new thing, so we as a society don't have a lot of practice in helping men through it.

This is not one of those ordinary "grin and bear it" situations. This is war. Lean on some folks and get some help. You should not be expected to handle this one on your own.

 

[DVS]

I've been on anti depressants for about 4 years, all different kinds, through that time frame. The last was Zoloft. It was the one with the least side effects.

I tried Paxil, among several others, and had terrible reactions to them. My doctor was completely perplexed. Not all medications are the same, and neither are people. Remember...what works for others may not be what is best for you.

Although I found Zoloft to be the best for me, it might not work best for you. And, with any anti depressant, I found my life tended to level off. No real lows and no real highs. Everything still impacted me, but not nearly as much as it would without the drugs.

Some of that is necessary. Being depressed is scary and sad and difficult to explain to someone who isn't. It is NOT how you want to live your life. But, as some have said, there are different varieties of depression. Not all need medication, but some do. And, of those that need medication, not all need continued medication.

If you find a doctor that prescribes medication, question his choice. Ask if it's going to be long term, and what side effects you might experience. Ask how long before you can expect a change. Most don't start to feel better for several weeks, while the drug builds up in your system.

Some can make the situation worse. There are a lot of new drugs out there. A lot of the newer ones may work much better than the older ones. That was my experience.

Talk to a friend. A lot of depression is kept inside, because we think we are insane. We don't want others to see us that way, so we keep the ugly inside. That is a bad way to live. Get it out of your system.

Or talk to a stranger, if necessary. Write down how you feel, if nothing else. Just find someone to talk to, that will listen with an intelligent ear. Someone who will condemn you and tell you to "just snap out of it" is not going to help you.

My mother took Prozac. My sister takes Zoloft. She thinks it is a wonder drug. I have stopped taking it, because I can't afford the co-pay. I also didn't feel I needed it, after taking it for a while. I feel better now, and know that if I ever start to feel bad again, I can start Zoloft again. I'm from the minimalist school of thought. Less is best. Start out that way, and progress, if necessary.

Remember. You are not alone. There are literally millions of people that feel the same as you do. We are not crazy. And, there are ways to help you feel better. It is much different than it was even 10 years ago.

 

[shy slave]

Realising that so many of us have depression or have had it, it almost needs a poll.

Sorry Raeth can't find the thread I lack to skill AA has for finding these things. Actually i lack pretty much all of AA skills.

Angela I like your catagories they make sense to me, but then I do take the tablets!

 

[DVS]

Sorry Raeth can't find the thread I lack to skill AA has for finding these things. Actually i lack pretty much all of AA skills.

I took a shot at it.
what has lifes experiences taught you



And, another one revived from the past by Catalina.
Feeling Blue

 

[Raeth]

Thank you for all the support... definately gave me a lot to think about (in a good way).

I just figured I would let you know that I have an appointment for this coming monday. In general I have been feeling better, not normal, but at least able to function and carry on a conversation when my wife calls, without either of us breaking down or getting angry. My moods are still unpredictable, but at least I am having some relatively good days, and have been sleeping a little better.

As far as those three types of depression that were listed. I think I definately have a really good reason to be upset. On the other hand... it's not normal... and I think that may be because of existing problems that I was able to manage before are out of control now. Hopefully they can help me sort it all out. It's a relief to have someone to go see.

So on monday I am just going to unload and see what the doctor says. I'll definately let you know if anything interesting happens.

Unfortunately I am off to my public speaking class... @#$%!

 

[Marquis]

Make sure you tell your shrink if you have any family history of mental illness. I was put on Zoloft before I was diagnosed bipolar and I went totally crazy, I'd hate to see that happen to anyone else.

 

[shy slave]

Thanks DVS will have to add you to the list of reliable thread finding people

 

[redelicious]

I'm interested to see how your discussion with the doctor went. My husband recently started taking both paxil and xanax for anxiety disorders. Apparently he doesn't have enough seretonin, and what he does have will decrease as he ages.

I have two thoughts, keeping in mind that your situation is totally different from mine (but I'll share anyway). One, it seems to me that neither counseling nor drug therapy is as effective as the two combined. Secondly, you said "it's not right to do this to my wife." Ok, instead of thinking of your mental health as being a cause of stress for her, try thinking about getting help as something positive you do for her. Knowing that you are taking care of yourself so that you can be strong while she is away and emotionally healthy when she returns may be a blessing.

 

[Raeth]

I'm interested to see how your discussion with the doctor went. My husband recently started taking both paxil and xanax for anxiety disorders. Apparently he doesn't have enough seretonin, and what he does have will decrease as he ages.

I have two thoughts, keeping in mind that your situation is totally different from mine (but I'll share anyway). One, it seems to me that neither counseling nor drug therapy is as effective as the two combined. Secondly, you said "it's not right to do this to my wife." Ok, instead of thinking of your mental health as being a cause of stress for her, try thinking about getting help as something positive you do for her. Knowing that you are taking care of yourself so that you can be strong while she is away and emotionally healthy when she returns may be a blessing.

You're right, that's mainly the reason I decided to see someone. I went to my first session and I have some more appointments. I see the psychiatrist about a drug plan in a little while, but the counselor I have spoken with has been helpful.

I was talking with my PA at the hospital, told him what was going on and who I was seeing, and he gave me prozac... which I haven't taken yet.

In general I have been having a decent week, but the mood swings still come and go, and sleep is rough. The wife and I hashed it out over the weekend, it was pretty rough, but in a way it really put us where we need to be, just getting some of it out in the open made us realize how silly we were being. That's been one of the hardest things, we have always been so open, and that has been difficult lately.

Another thing that has helped is that I have started working out again. Set some goals for myself to get back to where I used to be. Also looking into some other things to work on improving for both of us... like getting braces, which I have wanted for a long time, just never had the chance until now.

I am looking forward to my thanksgiving break from school. Going to fly out to Santa Barbara for 10 days to see my brothers and go snowboarding.

Mainly I have been working at trying to put things into perspective. This will probably be the worst year of our marriage in many ways, but it's still only a year (hopefully) and each day that passes is another one we will never have to go through again. It sucks, but it will pass.

Sometimes it's just impossible to think about it that way though...

-Travis

 

[DVS]

Depression, like many things, seems always darkest before the dawn. When you have finally realized what you're experiencing, that seems to be the worst. Then, it starts to get better.

Time is what works best, and using that time to get your mind off of it, just like you are doing. Working out is a good thing, in more ways than one. Also, snowboarding sounds great! I wish I could make such plans.

Don't think the way you feel now will last for ever. It does get better, so don't dwell on it.