Another Lonely Night

[BadForm]

OOC: I have _NO_ idea where this thread is going, just remember a lonely poem I wrote as a messed up, shy, easily teased teenager... Feel free to choose, use, misuse or abuse the hero in any way you want...



IC: He sat in the cafe, and looked over his latest poem. It just about said it all.

Napoleon had his Josephine,
Hitler had Eva Braun;
Not even great dictators
Lived their lives alone
But I'm crying in my beer
It's a pitiful sight
And all I know is I can't take
Another lonely night.

Yeah, even though it wasn't one of his best, it said it all. 18, shy, ugly - all the girls back when he'd tried to get into a relationship had made that plain, unfit and a geek. What had he got to offer? Well, until he'd finally got the balls to turn the tables on the girls who were mauling him because he was so easy to embarrass, he at least used to make others laugh... allbeit at him not with him. Now, he didn't even feel like he had that. He has, he was, nothing. Perhaps the world would be better off without him. He considered crossing out the crying comment, because he wasn't crying. He didn't know how any more.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Bethany (Beth)

OOC - Just wave to me and I'll be on my way, I don't want to crash into too many of your threads.
Feel free to continue or ignore as you prefer.
DM x

IC

She giggled. Her husky laugh cut across the general hum of the cafe. The guy sat next to her had his hand rubbing suggestively over her hips. He lifted his head away from where he had just nibbled her neck.

Nibbled, more like bitten. The red mark was clearly visible as he moved away smiling at another denim-clad, t-shirted individual who sat opposite him. Not taking his attention off the conversation which was in progress, he reached over with his other hand and mauled the girl's breast. She squirmed in response, her smile wide as he fondled her, a lascivious grin on his face. His watching friend leered, but was obviously impatient to get going.

The girl laughed again, tossing her head back her jet black hair cut just below her ears swung. Her breasts, accentuated by a clingy red top and most likely a "balcony" push up bra, left little to the imagination She moved again, treatingthe world to an ample view of clevage and a clear view of her breasts as they bounced in the red confines.

She stood to kiss, her boyfriend. Her tight black skirt fitting like a second skin as it showed every curve of her hips and her slight waist as she wrapped herself around the recipient of her attention. He kissed her hard and long.. his hands running over her body, unaware, or rather not caring who saw them.

The two men turned away from her already deep in conversation before they left the cafe. She stood, watching them leave and walk down the street, a brilliant smile on her face.

Seconds later, the smile faded. Her face fell and she stood, gazing after them with troubled eyes. She frowned and sat down. With a sigh, she put her head in her hands. She stayed immobile as the minutes ticked away, one hand moved up to her neck stroking the red mark with a grimace. Sitting up and unaware of any eyes on her she ran her hands over her skirt and top adjusting her clothing which had become rumpled by the large hands moving over her.

She bent her head as if fighting for control.
"Why did she put up with it? Why did she act like that?"

Snapping out her compact she touched up her vivid red lipstick and pressed powder around the eyes, which had for a time been threatening tears.

Mask back on, she sighed and took a breath as if preparing herself for some great task. One last glance in the mirror to check if her "look" was convincing she snapped the compact shut and dropped it into the nearby bag.

As she looked up, she caught the eye of the folorn looking teenager who sat opposite.
He looked about her age, although she knew she looked older than her 17 years.. that was the idea... that's what attracted them... what made her so popular.... or maybe it was just because she was reluctant to reject the advances made to her...

Judging by the look of him she thought that she had it easy. He looked so miserable.
"What was she talking about?"
She drew her negative thoughts to a halt. This was so unlike her.
"She was happy.. was having a good time.... Life was good."
She knew deep down she was kidding herself, but stubbornly refused to acknowledge it.

She saw the boy look up and look over at her.

She gave him a dazzling smile.

 

[beggseee]

GOOD POEM !

 

[karlgarside]

hi beggseee

 

[BadForm]

Darren Andrews

OOC: Just a couple of oocs before my post. First, beggseee, thanks, that was just the chorus tho and I don't remember the rest. Karlgarside, I don't want to be rude, but if you want to address a comment to someone which has nothing to do with the thread, could you use PM instead of interrupting the thread, thanks. And DM, two points - someone as excellent as you can invade all the threads I have and you'll have to age your char up a little as Lit as a minimum age of 18 (its a legal thing).


IC: Darren had heard the carry on at the next table. He didn't object to it, of course, he wished everyone could find the passion they obviously had for each other. What he was, though, was jealous. He was sick and tired of hearing that women wanted the shy guys because they were sick of loudmouthed, self-centered jerks and conveniently ignored that that would mean they would have to make most of the moves as shy meant shy, and ended up falling for loud-mouths anyhow. He stared avidly down at his drink as they had carried on with each other.

Eventually the guys left, but the woman stayed. Darren couldn't help but cast a glance in her direction. He appreciated the look of a beautiful woman, even if he had never had one of his own. Infact, perhaps it was that lack which had taught him all women were beautiful in their own way. It might be a soft curve to the waist, or those come-to-bed eyes. It might be luscious lips formed in a natural pout, or hair that curved gracefully down across her back. But every woman had something. And this one had lots.

Then she turned her beautiful smile on him and he realised she must have known he'd been staring. Great, now he was probably going to get some stupid comment, or a mocking caress, intended to make everyone around laugh at how ridiculous it was for a beautiful woman to touch him. Yeah, he'd learned to turn that back on a person, but it still hurt. He struggled between speaking, apologising and looking away.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Bethany ( Beth)

OOC - Thanks for the prompt! Sorry was thinking teen romance and forgot the age thing.

Ok...Bethany is 18, though she looks about 20 and has the experience to match, or thinks she does!

..and thanks for the compliment Badform! I love the way you write - just gets my imagination going!

IC.

She saw him look over at her and the strange expression cross his face. He wasn't oggling her, appraising her perhaps, but not giving her the type of look she was used to.

She stood, forgetting where she was for the moment and almost saw panic crossing the boy's face. He looked so wretched. Alone. She felt alone sometimes despite the crowd she went round with.

She should go, she thought, go see the gang.
"Go to what, for what, to do what?" A voice in her head questionned.
She sighed. She just wasn't in the mood for all that at the moment. The cafe was emptying now, quieter somehow, or was it just that *he* had finally left. All that bravado and horseplay was beginning to get on her nerves. Sure she was trophy and a trophy worth having. She'd worked on it, her rep., long enough, but sometimes it was wearing.. keeping it going all the time.

Realising she had been standing still for untold moments she picked up her bag, threw her jacket over her arm and, after only a momentary hesitation crossed to the table where the young man was sat.

She came to a halt, looked down at him, pausing almost awkwardly.

"Mind if I sit down?" She asked her eyes on his.
Her voice was polite enquiry, no taunting, no pity. For some reason she just wanted to... to what... spend some time just ...sitting... being..
She grinned at her trite ideas, quickly covering the quirk of her mouth incase the young man misunderstood her amusement.

She waited, feeling ill at ease standing there.

"I'm Beth, by the way...." She offered...

 

[BadForm]

Darren Andrews

OOC: Good writing gets good writing, DM (oh, and btw, every time I read that I think Doc Martens, so I guess I must be very kinky). There are some writers on these boards that I am in threads with who, frankly I don't care if the threads die out - you are not among them.

IC: "Darren," he said, indicating it was ok to sit, while still blushing deeply. "Darren Andrews."

He wasn't sure what to make of her. She wasn't making a move on him, he knew that. Well, that was obvious - nobody would. Then again, she also didn't seem like she was about to molest him, mock him or get pissed at him. He'd had one or two women friends in the past, and in general found women easier to talk to than men. But for a stranger, and a beautiful one, to come over and want to sit with him was a new experience. He wasn't sure what to do.

"So..." he said, and stumbled into silence. He had to say something, but was too confused to make sense, too on edge after his previous experience of life. "Er... Hi."

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Bethany (Beth)

OOC - Doc Martens.. mmmm... I can think of several DM type words, mmm kinky.... but we won't go into that now.
Glad to know you won't be dumping out threads in the near future!


IC:

"Hiya Darren," she spoke lightly as she slipped into the seat opposite him.
She saw him struggle to start a conversation. Maybe she was being insensitive just walking over like this.

"Er..hi.." he stammered.

"I'm "Bethany" actally," she chatted conversationally, smiling at him, "Bethany Matthews, but my friends call me Beth."

She paused and watched him, sensing he was uncomfortable, which was not what she'd intended.

"Hey, you're drinking coffee..I could just fancy one now. I knew I came in here for something," She giggled.
"You want another?"
Before he could reply she called across to the guy behind the counter;
"Two coffees over here when you've got a minute, and turned a winning smile on him."

She looked back at Darren, realising how brash she'd been.
"Oh.. I'm sorry, I just thought a coffee would be...."
She broke off, blushing for the first time in ages.
"I'll go if you want me to. I guess you prefer to be alone.... I didn't mean to...." she eyed him apologetically!

 

[BadForm]

Darren Andrews

"No..." he realised at once he sounded too eager, and truth be told he didn't know why. He liked the way she looked, and he liked the way she treated him so friendly even more. He was confused though. Why was she acting like this?

"No... I'd be happy to have you join me for a coffee," he blushed deeply, as he realised just how much that sounded like asking her on a date.

Inside he chided himself to stop being a geek, but had no idea what to do or say. Did he want her. Well, that was stupid. He was a normal, 18-year old, geek male. Of course he wanted her. He wanted anyone, let alone this beauty. He was lonely and his virginity felt like a neon sign flashing above his head. But that wasn't it. He liked her. He liked her because she was so pleasant.

He took out some money to pay for the coffees and looked at her, trying to smile and wondering what the hell to say next.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Bethany (Beth)

She smiled, relieved and was suprised when he insisted on paying for the coffees... no.. not insisted....he just did it.. no big show... no .. "hey look I bought you something, so you owe me!"

She sipped her coffee, thinking with a shock that she liked it. Liked being treated like a human being rather than... well.. a piece of meat... a piece of ass.

She looked over at the young man. He wasn't talkative, but that wasn't bad. He seemed more at ease now as did she. Where the hell had that blush come from... Lord, not much made her blush these days...but.. he was so.... well.. wholesome....

She rolled her eyes... "God Beth, You're going soft .." she berated herself. Soft was something she had not been... for ages.. not since...... well a long time ago.

"So.. what are you doing here" She enquired gently, more to stop her train of thought, than to fill in a gap... it was nice to sit quietly with him.

"i pop in here once in a while..." she continued.."..never seen you here before..."

 

[BadForm]

Darren Andrews

Darren smiled at her. "No, I've just arrived. I'm starting at the College this semester, and just moved my stuff in today. I'm staying with a guy up the road from here, on Newbrige Street. I just wanted to find somewhere quiet to go and write."

He looked at her in wonder, still confused by how strange it was to be speaking to a stranger, a beautiful female stranger, like this. Then his words hit his own ear.

"Umm... not that I mean for you to go. I guess I'm done writing for now anyhow. Not that I came up with anything good."

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Bethany (Beth)

"You write?"
She leaned forward trying to see the piece of paper that was laid on the table, only afterwards remembering her manners and lifting her eyes away from his work.
She smiled at him, half apolgeticaly, but obviously interested.
"A writer... I've never met a writer before.!" She giggled, not laughing at him, but intrigued.
She ached to ask him what he wrote and if she could see, but she was sure such a shy individual would be more than reluctant to share his thoughts with her.

She deliberately changed the tack of the conversation.
"Newbridge Street you say.. hey.. that's not far at all. I live about as far in the other direction. "
She paused, but only momentarily,
"so.. what are you studying?"
Bombarding him with all those questions! Stupid of her! Thank goodness he was a nice guy, or he'd have told her to take a hike by now.

She looked at him again.
"Nosy ain't I?" She asked with a disarming smile, licking the miliky froth of a spoon.

 

[BadForm]

Darren Andrews

That made him laugh. She had to be one of the nicest women he'd ever met.

"No, just inquisitive and that's ok. Actually, I'm a science major - looking to go into bio or maybe go on to vet school. Haven't really decided yet."

He paused, thinking about her request to see his writing. It was so damned maudlin that he was sure if she did he would be number one on her shit list. After all who had time for anyone with baggage in this world? Nobody he'd met. Still, better to frighten her off now if she was just going to be like everyone else. That way he would know where he stood.

He passed the paper over to her. "It's nothing, kinda depressing really. I dunno, sometimes it just helps to write down what you feel. I'm not really a writer or anything."


OOC: The chorus is up at the top of the thread as you recall, just imagine a few similarly toned verses about love being a funeral pyre etc...

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Bethany (Beth)

She watched as she laughed. Exchanging a smile with him and enjoying his first real unguarded expression of emotion.

"No, just inquisitive and that's ok. Actually, I'm a science major - looking to go into bio or maybe go on to vet school. Haven't really decided yet."

"Wow.. science.. I'm impressed... I'm hopeless.. always blowing things up and getting duff results. She smiled, uncaring about her lack of skills.

She watched him curiously as he paused looking at her. No longer holding back his gaze, his eyes looked deeply into hers, assessing her she thought... She returned his look with untroubled curiosity.

She was amazed when, without warning, he slowly passed the paper over to her.

"It's nothing, kinda depressing really. I dunno, sometimes it just helps to write down what you feel. I'm not really a writer or anything."
She did not move, for moments she stared at him, completely taken aback that he trusted her enough to share something so intimate.

She reached out and touched the paper, almost reverently, lowering her head to read his words.
She could sense his eyes on her, scanning her face anxiously for a reaction no doubt as she read. Her breath caught as she was drawn into the raw emotion, the lonliness, the hopelessness he communicated through his words.

Over and over she read the words.... such depth and... tragedy. She could identify with so much of this, somehow. She raised her eyes slowly to his, unshed tears showing how moved she was by what she had read.

"How..tragic..." she began unable to put into words what she had felt.
Her eyes lowered again, scanning over his words, she spoke, almost to herself, with a soft but impassioned voice;

"Everyone seems to have their perfect matches don't they... and yet somehow we have to go through all this shit alone. "

She glanced up... "can't take it anymore.." she quoted... " God, don't I know how that feels! You're right, love is just funereal... nothing good in it that I can see... all just.. a perversion... "

"Wish I could tell them all to go to hell!"

She passed the sheet back carefully...
"That's.... really good Darren."
She spoke with soft sincerity, her mind clearly troubled by the truisms she had read into his phrases....

 

[BadForm]

Darren Andrews

Darren watched her carefully, listening to the words she read and the words she added. Well, she summed him up all right, a damn Shakesperian tragedy. Overdone, overwhelming and over-melodramatic. Except, that wasn't what she was saying. She was agreeing with what he wrote. And her eyes... There was a pain there that had nothing to do with mere words on paper. It was real and true for her.

"Hey," he said, reaching out to touch her hand instinctively, and drawing back suddenly lest he frighten her. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel bad."

He found he felt conflicted. She had love, albeit of just another loud-mouthed jock. But he didn't. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had a girlfriend. Hell, he couldn't even remember the last time he had a kiss under the mistletoe at chrismas. But there was no denying that feeling in her eyes and in her voice.

He took the plunge. "Want to talk about it, Beth?"

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Bethany (Beth)

She sat quietly, eyes troubled and averted from him whilst he watched her. She looked up as she felt the gentle touch on her hand.
"Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel bad."

She smiled at him, strangely his compassion made her more tearful. Compassion.. she wasn't used to that either.

Again their was a pause.

"Want to talk about it, Beth?" he offered smiling kindly his hand still touching hers lightly.

"Talk about it...." she repeated... echoing him as if the idea seemed ludicrous. He was the first person who had actually asked her how she felt... but then again he was the first person she had allowed to see... inside... how that had happened... she had no idea.. yet.. here she was... he was stranger..but.. he had a real dept of feeling.. his writing showed that... perhaps it wouldn't hurt to... talk.. a ... bit....

Fleetingly she considered hiding behind bravado, even laughing and making light of the writing he had shown her... she usuallly kept people at a distance like that... but...she couldn't do that to him... and, she acknowledged with a start, she needed a freind.

She looked into his eyes and spoke haltingly at first, then looked away as her voice lightened in tone as she gave a light synopsis of her troubles;

"Well,.... not much to tell... usual story... parents dont understand me... always felt neglected... turned into a precocious lil Madam ... and ended up dating all the wrong guys..***** stinks..."

There was a pause. Darren said nothing. She looked up and met his eyes. She hadn't fooled him. He was waiting for the fuller honest version.

She sighed heavily.

"Oh I don't know Darren. Everything seems... wrong in my life somehow... I find myself watching what I say and do and think... "Beth..what the hell are you doing ?"

"Maybe I'm not lonely in the same way as you, but my way is just as painful... Everyone's on the take... they want you because of who you hang out with or what you can do for them... or.... what they can get out of you.

That guy I was with.... you think he cares about how I feel.. you think he gives a damn what goes on with me... I'm just a trophy and a good fuck..... useful for now anyhow.... and why.... why do I do all that... ?

She took a deep breath... her words had gained momentum, as she spoke, voicing for the first time, just some of the thoughts she had been hiding, even from herself.

".. why?..." She questionned again...
"..cos I'm just too scared of being alone... so.. I build myself up to be.. what they expect me to be... but... then... that's even worse, cos I'm trapped into it all........"

She paused and ran her hands tiredly through her hair.
She looked down, avoiding his eyes now, her voice so soft and low that he had to lean forward to hear her.

"It's my fault... I've made myself .. this way, but..what chances did I have.. with a mother who's more interested in her "social life" and a string of "uncles" who were more than.. happy to further my education... when I got to that... interesting age... guess I've been.. "interesting" ever since....."

She finally ran out of breath and words.... her face burned.... she could not look Darren in the face. Where had all that come from?.... She hardly knew she felt that way.. until....
She sighed heavily, a half sob catching in her throat....

 

[BadForm]

Darren Andrews

He drew deeply on his coffee before daring to speak, preparing himself for what he was about to say. It was a confession he had told so few people, one he only half-recalled himself. But just maybe, if she had gone through something similar she could do with knowing she wasn't alone.

"Beth... when I was a kid, one of my relatives made me do all sorts of kinky stuff with her... I know it fucks you up inside, so I understand what you're saying about your uncles and so on... But you know what? She can't get at me now and all I got to deal with is how it makes me feel... And yeah, that's easier said than done, I know."

He tried to make the situation a little lighter by interjecting some humor. "I once heard a poem about it actually,

Your parents really fuck you up
They don't mean to but they do
They give you all the faults they've got
And add some new one's just for you..."

He shook his head, it fit but he wasn't sure it was appropriate. "I dunno, Beth, I don't have all the answers. All I do know is you're you... you're not your mom and you're not your uncles either. And you know what, I sometimes have whole minutes where I believe that about myself..."

There wasn't any humor in that statement. Not really any sympathy for either of them either. Just a deep, empathic feeling of one survivor for the pains of another.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Bethany (Beth)

She sat for what seemed like an age as he continued to drink his coffee, no doubt disgusted by what he’d heard. She almost jumped when his quiet voice broke the stillness.
He spoke earnestly yet his voice was quiet and steady.

"Beth... when I was a kid, one of my relatives made me do all sorts of kinky stuff with her... I know it fucks you up inside, so I understand what you're saying about your uncles and so on... “
Beth raised her eyes… he had been treated that way too..? He actually understood… ? She looked at him overcome that they actually had a common experience.

He continued;
“But you know what? She can't get at me now and all I got to deal with is how it makes me feel... And yeah, that's easier said than done, I know."

She looked at him… well that’s good for him she thought, but her mum could still get at her..and get at her plenty…. And as for the men she still brought home…. Beth felt uncomfortable… they all assumed like mother like daughter… but… should she tell Darren that… no… some things he didn’t need to know.

His voice broke into her thoughts again;
"I once heard a poem about it actually,
Your parents really fuck you up
They don't mean to but they do
They give you all the faults they've got
And add some new one's just for you..."
She nodded.. yeah… that was the truth alright.. she returned his wry grin.


He looked at her speaking encouragingly;
"I dunno, Beth, I don't have all the answers. All I do know is you're you... you're not your mom and you're not your uncles either. And you know what, I sometimes have whole minutes where I believe that about myself..."

“I’m not my mum, but.. I’m “my mother’s daughter….”
She laughed self-mockingly.. . knowing now that she would tell him…
He tone was light, again injecting humour as a defence to avoid him really knowing how painful the words were to say.

“Mom’s…..” she seemed to pause to consider….
“Mom’s the… sociable…. Friendly type and…doesn’t care how friendly her men get with her… or me….”
Her voice trailed off then she continued..

“… and so uncle whatever … knows he can…take liberties… I’m sure she actively encourages it… I sometimes feel like… I’m one of her key selling points….
“Oh and did I mention my 18 year old daughter….?”
She laughed bitterly and played with a coffee spoon as she continued..

“Only, I’m a disappointment to her… reluctant to continue the good ole family traditions… share and share alike… I prefer to pick who I “share” with. So.. if a girl’s gotta share it’s safer to take up with a tough guy, with friends, so that “Uncle” knows that if he crosses the line he is in for one hell of a kicking. “

She paused looking up into Darren’s eyes once more.
“You’ve lived through your demons and they’re in the past, but I face mine every day…. And… “

She bit her lip…

“I really don’t know how much longer I can keep doing this….”

 

[BadForm]

Darren Andrews

His hand reached out to touch hers again, not in a sexual way but in a way that was meant to reassure. He hoped it worked. She was so devastated by what was happening and from what happened to him before he could understand why. She was still going through the hell he had escaped. He let her talk and say her piece, just listening and watching. Then he responded.

"You know, Beth... being your mother's daughter doesn't mean anything about you. She messed with you... hell she still does, you just told me. But you don't have to let her. Not with your head... and not with your body."

She was going to object, he knew. He saw it in her face, but he pressed on. "Life's choices, Beth. Sometimes they're not easy, not easy no matter what you choose. If you stay home, you're gonna get hit on, if you leave, how will you support yourself? I dunno. I wish I could answer that."

He took a drink while he thought about whether to say the rest of it. "But Beth... if the only reason you're hanging out with that guy is because you hope he'll protect you, you have to ask if it's worth it. You just told me your mom's lovers still keep assaulting you. Can't that guy get his act together and protect you like you deserve?"

He glanced around the cafe aware his voice had raised slightly. "I-I'm sorry... I had no right to say that.... Sorry."

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Bethany (Beth)

She listened to him... yes.. so simple... but... she was trapped.... but.. she'd had it and he'd made her realise that. Talk about truths hitting home all at once.

Darren was speaking again.

"But Beth... if the only reason you're hanging out with that guy is because you hope he'll protect you, you have to ask if it's worth it. You just told me your mom's lovers still keep assaulting you. Can't that guy get his act together and protect you like you deserve?"

She sighed sadly.
"Last year I had my guy then beat up on the lech mom was seeing, he was creepy, really had me scared, but... I was totally freaked and well... I guess he didnt figure the rewards were good enough and dumped me pretty quickly afterwards."

She paused... her hand still under his. Fingers working in his hand.... part nervous, partly squeezing them as if hanging on to his optimism, his encouragement.

"This guy... Matt... well... you saw what he was like... I don't think he'd care enough to do anything protective and... welll.. he'd as soon believe the other side, than believe me."

Again the pause as she gripped his hand.
"Last month he thought I was giving one of his mates the come one... no one could accuse him of lack of jealousy and temper, but, let's just say the bond of brotherhood over rode all.... by the time I was worth seeing in public again it had all blown over."

She pulled her hand out of his. Her face set. Decision made. She was going to run. No other option.

"You're right Darren. I want out. "

She began hastily putting on her coat, plans forming haphazardly in her head....

 

[BadForm]

Darren Andrews

Darren watched her pick up her coat. He felt good that he had given her some courage, and enraged about her asshole of a boyfriend... But most of all he felt dejected. Sure, she had shared a cup of coffee with him. She had given him a friendly face and shown him that there were others hurting just as much or more than him. Now she was leaving.

His eyes fell to the paper in front of him

Love is a burning fire
I touch it and start to die
It builds to my funeral pyre
And makes me wonder why
I have such love to give
I ask nothing in return
But whenever I have a chance to live
Like a fool, from love, I turn.

God damn it, he cursed silently at himself, you HAVE a chance to live, so ASK nothing. GIVE. For once in your damn useless cowardly life get up the courage not to let her just walk away.

Taking a deep breath he stood and picked up his own coat, then moved so she could see him.

"So, Beth," he said, "Where are we going? I want to help."

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

"You're right Darren. I want out. "

Once it was said there was no turning back... she would run and run .. far away from here.. somewhere.. anywhere.... anything had to be better than this... even if.... well... whatever happened to her.. she was past caring now.


She pulled the jacket around her and brushed against Darren... Darren... what was he doing. He was stood next to her...looking into her eyes.


"So, Beth," he said, "Where are we going? I want to help."

She froze stunned. Part of her wanted to fling her arms round his neck and hold onto him. Let him help. Let him .... but no...

"You have no idea what you're saying Darren," she said gently.

What a guy... to just... offer her help... so unselfish. God she just couldn't get over it. She smiled at him, halted in her panicked exit.

"Darren. You don't understand. I have to get out of home and stay well out of the way of Matt. My mom would drag me home if she found me and...Matt.. well... he'd beat the crap outta me and do damage to anyone else he felt a grudge with. If you came with me.... you'd get hurt..one way or another."

She touched his arm lightly;
"..and.. I couldn't bare to see you hurt... You've helped me more in this past half hour than anyone has for years. I'll always be grateful to you... you have no idea....... just how much...."

She let her hand drop and averting her gaze, sure there were tears on her lashes, wishing things were different..somehow... anyhow...

She continued, brusque and businesslike, trying to convince herself.
"You've got your life planned, your new place.. I'll drop you a line .. if I find somewhere.... I'm just gonna... slip outta the frame... I can't imagine life will get much worse than what I'm going through now. "

He was silent.

"And... if it's not, well at least I did something instead of sitting around playing the victim. Whatever happens to me, running is my only option."

 

[BadForm]

Darren Andrews

It was, perhaps, the one good thing he'd inherited from his dad: absolute, mulish stubbornness. Darren knew he was a coward and would never step of to a dangerous situation, but more than that he would never back down from a decision. Not especially when challenged to. His heart felt like it was tearing in two as he looked from Beth to the piece of paper in his hand. She turned to walk away but he took hold of her hand.

"Did you read this?" He said, his voice firm but shaking slightly. "Did you read what I wrote? Sure I have my life planned out. I am on my way to over a hundred grand a year as a vet. And you know what, Beth? I hate my life."

He paused for a second, unsure of just how she was going to react to what he was going to say, but the decision was made. He had no option.

"So you're being hurt and abused and you want to run. Fine. Now let me tell you, even though my abuse is all in the past I was feeling so screwed up before I spoke to you I was about to kill myself."

He passed the paper back to her. "Read the chorus, Beth, read the last line. All I know is I can't take another lonely night. You think this was a sweet, heartfelt poem? It was my suicide note. I was just trying to get the courage together to head to the bridge..."

His whole body was shaking now, but he was too determined to quit. "I'll ask you again, Beth. Where are we going? I want to help... and I don't just mean help you. I mean me too."

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Bethany (Beth)

With a last look she turned. Walking away from this..stranger was so damn difficult.. only he wasn't a stranger, she had never felt closer...to anyone.

His hand caught hers turning her back to him. His voice shook as he asked her if she had read his words. That is what started all of this.. of course she'd read them.

"Sure I have my life planned out. I am on my way to over a hundred grand a year as a vet. And you know what, Beth? I hate my life."

His voice was so impassioned. Their gazes locked. He felt the same despair as her... but he had so much going for him.. she couldn't understand it...

"So you're being hurt and abused and you want to run. Fine. Now let me tell you, even though my abuse is all in the past I was feeling so screwed up before I spoke to you I was about to kill myself."

She gasped softly, shocked by his words and also knowing that she felt that even... not being... would be preferable to what was her life now. Running was being careless of her safety, but she was tired of it all an just didnt care anymore.

She took the paper as he pushed it into her hands.

"Read the chorus, Beth, read the last line."

"But I'm crying in my beer
It's a pitiful sight
And all I know is I can't take
Another lonely night. "


"All I know is I can't take another lonely night. You think this was a sweet, heartfelt poem?"

Of course she didn't... she shook her head as he continued.

"It was my suicide note. I was just trying to get the courage together to head to the bridge..."

"oh my God," she thought she'd spoken the words, but she was silent. He was shaking, and she shivered in response.
He reached out and grapsed her hand looking deeply into her eyes.

"I'll ask you again, Beth. Where are we going? I want to help... and I don't just mean help you. I mean me too."

"Darren.. I... don't know... I... I hadn't even thought things through. "
She looked up at him offering no further arguments. They were both so driven and had to *do* something.

"We'll need.. money and some clothes and... have to decide where to go.... I was just going to head outside and ..keep going... but.. maybe.. if there's two of us...we'll have to ..plan..?"

Her hand still in is, she paused, almost shy before making the request.

"Could we go to your place... so we can discuss when we're going and where... I could sneak home now or later and get the things I need..and... "
She glanced round nervously aware now that they were stood holding hands and wondered if any of her so-called freinds would notice and report back to Matt.

"We..can't stay here much longer either way.... "
She took her hand reluctantly from his.

She looked at him, no longer the brash your woman he had seen when she had first come into the cafe. She was vulnerable and uncertain and so scared....

"Darren... this could be tough... are you sure you want in..?"

 

[BadForm]

Darren Andrews

Did he want in? No, what he wanted more than anything else was out. He wanted out of the life his parents had pushed him to, out of feeling like he had never made a choice in his life. Most of all he wanted out of feeling like a sham, like a coward... like all the things everyone from school onwards had called him. Beth had made him determined to get out. And he was going with her. If that was in...

"I am in, Beth. I told you, I can't go on any longer. Not like I have been. I dunno, it's scary but I'm in. Maybe vet school will be waiting down the line. Maybe not. To be honest, I don't care any more. You're the first decision I've ever made. And I'm sticking by you, Beth. Thick and thin."

He put his arm around her and walked out of the cafe with her, heading to where he'd parked his old, beaten-up ford. Then, his mind reeling from what had just happened, he drove her back to the house he was staying at, grateful the landlord was out.

"Welcome to my home," he laughed. "At least until we leave."