Another kid question

[penguindance]

 

[Rubyfruit]

I have found the greatest motivator to be to withhold what they want next, puzzels, juice, snack, movie, etc., until they clean up their last mess.

I also took away all but the bare essentials, toywise. I got real tired of my house looking like a Toys R Us warzone.

Good luck.

 

[penguindance]

 

[Rubyfruit]

All the better. If he doesn't care about the toys, pack them up and drop them at Goodwill. Then you wont have the mess to pick up.

I've come to the conclusion that toys aren't very useful in keeping my kids entertained anyway. They like doing art, puzzels, legos and nintendo. That's all I held onto, and I control when they come out.

I'm a mean mom, but order has been restored, where once chaos reigned.

 

[KillerMuffin]

My kid was like that. I warned him that I'd go straight to Goodwill if he didn't clean it up. He didn't. So next time I cleaned his room, I made him sit on his bed while I did it. I put everything on the floor in a trash bag. Then I waited for my chauffer (buddy) to get there and we took it to Goodwill.

I've never had another problem with him cleaning his room. That was three years ago.

 

[Gilly Bean]

I have a 6 year old girl, a 3 year old son, and a 7 month old daughter. My 6 year old has always been a 'picker-upper' when asked. Our son never has, and has to be constintly told, followed behind, and what not, to get him to try. He is to easily distracted. Alot of it has to do with what the kid is like, though, I think, not nessicerily age alone.

For instance, my oldest is a quiet girl who will set her mind to one task, and do it.

My son, however, is a loud rambunctious boy, who can't concentrate on any one thing for more then a few minutes, if that.



They all come around, after some coaching and patience, but they won't all do the same things at the same time.

 

[penguindance]

 

[Bindii]

I think the two of us are going to have a talk, maybe if I tell him that's what I'm going to do, he'll do something at least?!?

The thing is if you tell him thats what you will do - then you have to carry it through if he leaves his things lying around.

Its seems 'mean', but this is also what I did to both my kids......trust me it does work!

 

[Gilly Bean]

Eek...do you think I could be that mean? It's a really good idea... but can I pull it off? I'm such a push over. Ugh... but I'm getting really sick of cleaning up after him.

I think the two of us are going to have a talk, maybe if I tell him that's what I'm going to do, he'll do something at least?!?

I agree on that... I have never gone so far as to make my kid watch while I tossed thier stuff, though I do threaten it. I know that I wouldn't be able to thugh, because thier heartbreak is mine.


I have, however, bagged stuff up, and put it in the shed for a while. I tell them that when they can start taking care of thier stuff, they can have it back. That usually works pretty well.


Though, one thing you have to remember, is at the young age you mentioned, they are not much bigger then a baby, and are not as self sufficent as we can sometimes think or expect them to be. I have to constantly remind myself of that,b ecause i have one baby, and one toddler, and I keep thinking my son is alot older then he is.

 

[Purrde Flower]

My son is 4 almost 5. It is very important to kids to let them know you are proud of them. When you finally get them to do somehting you want. Make him look you in the eye and tell him how proud you are of him for doing that. Hugs, kisses and chocolate milk help too hehe.

 

[penguindance]

 

[SweetCherry]

I found the thing that works best for me is to make up a chart of chores, including cleaning their rooms and making their beds. When they do the chores on the list, they get a little bit of money. My kids are 4 1/2 and nearly 6. They like the concept of earning some money, and also the idea of being able to buy small things for themselves. I got the idea when my daughter wanted a doll shortly after her birthday last year and I refused to buy it. I told her if she wanted it so badly she'd have to do chores to earn the money. Well, she did. And now I've got a couple kids who don't complain about washing up their lunch dishes (all plastic), feeding the animals, bringing down their dirty clothes (ok, more like throwing it down the steps, but it all gets there where it's supposed to be) and clean ing their rooms. I give them one day when I tell them to do it. That first day, I don't yell. I don't repeat myself. Nothing. But if they don't get it done then, the next day is "open season" on toys and I'm the hunter. I starat taking them away and they don't get them back until they earn it. I've got a pile of toys in my stoprage room they they keep eyeing and asking about but so far they've only gotten about 3 of them back. It's the best thing I've found so far.

I know. I shouldn't "bribe" the children with money, some might say, but as far as I'm concerned, it's not bribery. It's giving them something to work for and also teaches them the value of a dollar, since they that it takes more to pay for that little toy cat or car or dog that they want.

 

[Svedish_Chef]

Strange thing about bribery and kids.

It works very well

 

[sch00lteacher]

I can't get my 16 or 17 year old kids to pick up after themselves. I have tried for years and years. I still try. They just don't get it.

They hate it when dad yells at them. But they will set themselves up for an ass chewing at every opportunity. I can't understand that. My wife will spend hours cleaning the kitchen. The kids zoom through and it looks like hell. Put things away? Clean up my mess? They never have those thoughts.

And their bedrooms! I am not even going to go there, lest I blow out something I might need. I never could have lived in a room where the floor was the place to store everything. Done with that candy wrapper? Floor. Done with those socks? Floor. Done with that book, right, floor. Okay I have to stop now, face turning red, teeth gritting...

I don't think they out grow it, not if my wife is an example. She is as bad as the damned kids. But she has me to pick up after her.

I am anal. No doubt about it. I can not rest until things are in place. It must be nice to be the opposite, and just throw things down when you are done with them. I'll never know.

 

[BlazeofLife]

My son is 2 years old, he just turned two on May 1st.
He lives with his mother, and turns her house into a warzone on a regualr basis. He absolutely refuse to clean when she asks, favoring time alone without his toys at all over cleaning them up.
If I'm there, however, or if he's with me at my place, I need only say, "Josh, time to put away your toys bud!" and he promptly gathers them all up and puts them in their proper places in his room.
His mother despises me for it.
She also hates the fact that he hates going to bed for her, but fetches his own diaper and change of clothes when I ask, lies down to be changed on his own, then runs to his room to wait for a kiss goodnight before climbing into bed on his own, when I ask him.
I havn't the slightest idea why he listens to me so well, but I'm extra grateful when he does it, so maybe he realizes that he gets lots of hugs and praise and playing when he does as he's asked.
I've often found that he's a lot smarter than I would give a 2-year old credit for, and knows exactly what's going on and what he gets out of it.

Blaze

 

[floridaguy64]

Those of you who have children older than mine...when were your kids old enough to pick up after themselves? My daughter is three, and she thinks it's great to help clean up. She'll sort toys and pick up laundry, that sort of thing.
My son, on the other hand, is 4-1/2, and I can't make him clean up after himself to save my life. Sigh...there must be a way!

I have twin sons that are 21... cleaning up for them involves a $50.00 commitment to the cleaning lady.

My daughter on the other hand was the epitomy of "cleanliness is next to Godliness"

why is that?

 

[Hornymama]

You mean there actually comes a time when they pick up after themselves? My oldest are 20 and 18 and i'm still waiting.

 

[VeryBadGirl]

I agree that you HAVE to be prepared to go through with anything you threaten him with - kids are like husbands, give them an inch, and they'll take a mile.

They are now 10 (b) and 7 (g) - we thought my daughter was going to be neater, as she was a picky, fussy, bossy baby, but she is now the absolute worst offender for leaving messes. My son seems typical so far - pretty messy - but he cooperates when I tell him to clean up.

They both get a weekly allowance ($3 & $1) and they know it's tied to their chores. I haven't ever had to suspend it, and it seems to be an effective carrot.

A suggestion about the messy room - I had my kids do it in pieces - first pick up the clothes. Then the stuffed animals. And so on - that makes it seem more doable in their eyes.

VBG