Another annoying question for the "bi" ladies/couples on here...

[Soulfiregirl]

I've found a few sites that cater to bisexual women, but not many. And of the ones I've found, there aren't many members overall. I was kind of disappointed with the ones I've found. For those of you who've tried dating sites, what are some good ones for bi women? I find a lot of ones for bi men/gay men/lesbian women, but not many for just bi women.

(obvisouly, I'm checking ads on this site as well but I figured it couldn't hurt to ask about other sites...hope it's ok to post this)

I've tried alt.com, adultfriendfinder.com, bondage.com. Just didn't get the right vibe from those sites. They tend to be more "hook up" sites instead of dating sites.



Oh, and this is something I'm wondering about. I think I can only handle a one on one type of deal, but I've kind of been thinking about what it might be like to date a couple. (where the woman is bi or maybe both are bi?) Does that ever work, or does it just make things too complicated? When I had an ad on alt.com I got a lot of responses from couples. (but they were usually too hardcore for me or too old, or too whatever...so I deleted my ad on there) Would I be trying to tackle something way too heavy duty by dating a couple? Should I just start with one person for now?


Looking for a little advice. Don'y worry guys, my questions will get more annoying with time. lol.


(thankyou)

 

[LillyO]

Try...www.womanline.com...I would post a link that actually works, but it seems to be beyond my feeble mind.

Good luck.

 

[Never]

You can date a couple?
How does that work?

Is this the link you wanted?

 

[Angel]

I have no answers for you, sorry. And damnit, here I thought I could be helpful for once .

There does seem to be a pretty strong queer female population on LiveJournal, and there are quite a few meaty communities there, with a shitload of intelligent women. It's just a pain in the ass to weed out the outstanding from the lame.

I'm bi, but I'm a one partner kind of chick. Doubtful I could ever have a relationship with one of each at the same time, nor could I "share" my bi-ness with my boyfriend in a threesome. I may change my mind later, I may not. I've changed my mind/feelings on quite a few things over the past few years. Hell, I went through a phase where I could see myself dating men in the long haul, and women were nothing but fucktoys. I don't think that's true anymore at all.

But...unfortunately, I'm selfish, dominant, and insanely territorial. For instance, sometimes I think it would be hot to let the b/f and I have seperate girlfriends. And then I realize that I would probably rip the bitch's hair out of her skull and strangle her with it.

So no help on the couples either.

Yay rambling.

I have a friend who once "dated" a couple, it was a really weird situation, lasted about three years, and fucked him up beyond belief for awhile. Probably not something for the faint of heart, or easily emotionally attached.

 

[ExistentialLuv]

Pollyjean and I met on Glimpse.com

Not sure if there are a lot of Bi but it is a great dating site.

 

[Never]

Angel:
"For instance, sometimes I think it would be hot to let the b/f and I have separate girlfriends. And then I realize that I would probably rip the bitch's hair out of her skull and strangle her with it."

That's so romantic. You ought to write cards for Hallmark.

" Probably not something for the faint of heart, or easily emotionally attached."

I understand that and should have just assumed it. For a moment there, it sounded attractive. Then reality tapped on my shoulder.

 

[Angel]

What's even weirder, is that while I would be insane and ripping out her hair, I would also be a complete hypocrite and expect the boyfriend to not be jealous of mine.

So you see where the problem lies - I am insane and my boyfriend will never have a threesome. Oh well.

Maybe the seperate girlfriends thing could work after all

 

[Never]

Angel:
"So you see where the problem lies - I am insane and my boyfriend will never have a threesome. Oh well."

Your insanity is part of your appeal. Though it's possible I wouldn't feel that way if we were actually dating.

"Maybe the seperate girlfriends thing could work after all "

Now you're just taunting me. I'm going to tell everyone you're a tease... Why do I have that 'you know you want the goodies' song in my head now?

 

[Angel]

I only taunt the people I adore.

 

[ExistentialLuv]

I only taunt the people I adore.

You are just being cruel

 

[Angel]

You are just being cruel

Probably . I have to torture myself because I've had a crush on Never for years, and I can't have her, so I have to taunt her for taunting me without realizing it. Or something.

I'm such a dumbshit sometimes.

 

[ExistentialLuv]

Probably . I have to torture myself because I've had a crush on Never for years, and I can't have her, so I have to taunt her for taunting me without realizing it. Or something.

I'm such a dumbshit sometimes.

I totally understand what you are saying. I tortured myself earlier in the same manner.

We are all dummkopf's at times.

 

[WyldSpirit]

Hi soulfiregirl,

I've done a lot of the online dating thing, unfortunately, I've usually either been looking for men, or just for hook-ups. I agree with you. Most of the actual online "dating" sites that cater to bi's or deal with bi's seem to either be primarily just sex or have a huge ratio of couples looking for single bi chicks looking for a threesome, or single bi chicks looking for couples to hook up with for a threesome. People suck, online dating sites suck, and 99% of them now require you to pay to pick up your messages anyway (hence why I say that they suck). That wasn't what you wanted to hear I'm sure, but, now I'm going to give you the real advice, from a seasoned "online dater"

Like I said, I've done a LOT of the online dating thing, both looking for relationships and just looking for sex, been pretty successful at both, whether looking for men or women (3 long term boyfriends 2 girlfriends and countless hookups of both sexes), although the "dating sites" were always useless. My one rule was if it cost anything I wasn't doing it. There are still so many free options online, why on earth would you use a pay site, they're usually way expensive, don't offer much more than free sites, and still have an even more limited membership because of the fees? Ok, got the two basic rules? Stay away from the "dating sites" and stay away from "pay to play".

So, by now you must be asking yourself, "if she didn't go to the dating sites or the "pay to play" sites, how was she successful at online dating? The area where I was most successful at finding people was Yahoo messenger. If you don't have it already, download it, get a yahoo ID, fill out your profile (a must) including a pic (another must) and start adding interests and joining lists. Make sure when you set up your preferences that you set it that your profile is searchable and that people can see when you are online. Then, be signed in to messenger a lot.

You might also want to start going into chatrooms if you don't already, but, I HATE yahoo chatrooms. Chatrooms are the only area where I break my "no pay to play" rule, because MSN chat went to pay, and that is where I chat. Of course, I was well established in MSN rooms when they went to pay, I have tons of friends there, prefer their format over others, etc. The problem with chatrooms for looking for romance is the chances of finding someone local. So, if I were you, I'd give the yahoo thing a try. Trust me, in my experience, it works 1000 times better than any dating site I've ever seen (and you don't have to sit around waiting for them to come to you, you can search profiles as well)

If you have any questions, or need help with it, let me know here or shoot me a PM.

Good Luck and best wishes

Oh, BTW, the questions aren't annoying, it's fun

 

[Soulfiregirl]

Hi soulfiregirl,

I've done a lot of the online dating thing, unfortunately, I've usually either been looking for men, or just for hook-ups. I agree with you. Most of the actual online "dating" sites that cater to bi's or deal with bi's seem to either be primarily just sex or have a huge ratio of couples looking for single bi chicks looking for a threesome, or single bi chicks looking for couples to hook up with for a threesome. People suck, online dating sites suck, and 99% of them now require you to pay to pick up your messages anyway (hence why I say that they suck). That wasn't what you wanted to hear I'm sure, but, now I'm going to give you the real advice, from a seasoned "online dater"

Like I said, I've done a LOT of the online dating thing, both looking for relationships and just looking for sex, been pretty successful at both, whether looking for men or women (3 long term boyfriends 2 girlfriends and countless hookups of both sexes), although the "dating sites" were always useless. My one rule was if it cost anything I wasn't doing it. There are still so many free options online, why on earth would you use a pay site, they're usually way expensive, don't offer much more than free sites, and still have an even more limited membership because of the fees? Ok, got the two basic rules? Stay away from the "dating sites" and stay away from "pay to play".

So, by now you must be asking yourself, "if she didn't go to the dating sites or the "pay to play" sites, how was she successful at online dating? The area where I was most successful at finding people was Yahoo messenger. If you don't have it already, download it, get a yahoo ID, fill out your profile (a must) including a pic (another must) and start adding interests and joining lists. Make sure when you set up your preferences that you set it that your profile is searchable and that people can see when you are online. Then, be signed in to messenger a lot.

You might also want to start going into chatrooms if you don't already, but, I HATE yahoo chatrooms. Chatrooms are the only area where I break my "no pay to play" rule, because MSN chat went to pay, and that is where I chat. Of course, I was well established in MSN rooms when they went to pay, I have tons of friends there, prefer their format over others, etc. The problem with chatrooms for looking for romance is the chances of finding someone local. So, if I were you, I'd give the yahoo thing a try. Trust me, in my experience, it works 1000 times better than any dating site I've ever seen (and you don't have to sit around waiting for them to come to you, you can search profiles as well)

If you have any questions, or need help with it, let me know here or shoot me a PM.

Good Luck and best wishes

Oh, BTW, the questions aren't annoying, it's fun

Hi Wylde. My income is very limited (for those of you who don't know, my mom and brother live with me and I'm supporting them due to their health problems...brother is on disability though...I'm just going ahead and posting this because then I don't have to keep repeating it in my PM's to people....I'm always broke!)

Anyway, I never actually paid for any of the memberships on any of the sites I put ads on. I always join as a "free member". But then of course, I have to wait for people to come to me. When I was on alt.com I got a very nice couple who replied to my ad but they were twenty years older then me and they were heavy into the slave/master thing. I got a couple of othter replies (again, more couples) but they were always too intense.

When I tried the bi female sites, (agian, there are very few), I'd either get no replies, or I'd get replies from women who lived too far away or they were just "bi-curious", etc, etc.

Unfortunately, my computer is so ancient I had to get rid of my Yahoo Messenger and AIM because they want to disconnect me when I'm on the Net. My computer gets too overwhelmed if two many things are open at once. But your suggestion is a good idea. Maybe I could sign up and just see if I get responses by email or something since I can't hook up a messenger or chat deal right now. I've also thought about posting an ad on Yahoo Personals again. I met my exboyfriend on there a year ago. (I signed up for free and he happened to see my ad and responded)

And you're right. So many sites are "pay" now. Nothing is free on the Interenet anymore. And some of the dating sites are damn expensive for a yearly membership. Anyway, I'll check out Yahoo Messenger as far as at least joining groups. Maybe I'll find something that way.

Thanks again sweetie. (I hope our advice helped you in your thread about your boyfriend)

 

[Soulfiregirl]

You can date a couple?
How does that work?

Is this the link you wanted?

I don't know. That's why I'm asking silly. lol. I actually know a bisexual couple. They are married and they adore each other. (he's bi and she's bi...just to clarify) They also have children. So far, they've been doing great.

I asked my ex if he'd be ok with me having a girl "on the side" when we first started dating, and at first, he seemed ok with it, but then as time went on, he wanted me to be exclusive. (which I was fine with at the time but then we developed other problems)

Eventually he was only ok with it, if it was just a threesome fantasy where he could watch or whatever. I don't think he would have been ok with me actually dating a woman while dating him at the same time. (even though I told him he could have a girlfriend as well....we had talked about having an "open" relationship)

I don't know. A part of me is still open to that possibly but maybe it does make things too complicated and then jealousy always developes eventually. I suppose I'd be risking a lot of emotional damage to a certain degree if I tried a "three-way" relationship.

Oh well. Just kind of thinking out loud. I'm just kind of throwing ideas out there because I'm curious as to the experiences you guys have had with this, if any.


(thankyou for the interesting posts so far)

 

[WyldSpirit]

Shoot, and, even worse news, I'm not sure when, but yahoo personals went to pay to play also, you can't even pick up the messages that paying customers send you, but, you can still fill out a regular (non-personals) profile with them. Just put in the pro that you are having messenger problems and if they are interested to please email you. Also, specify "no men or couples please" (it usually stops the couples, it won't stop the men from trying, not much stops the men)

Search around in the yahoo groups, they have lots of GLBT "looking" groups although I think a lot of them (atleast most of the ones I've seen) are single bi females and couples, which means mostly couples. Unfortunately when I was doing the majority of my looking, I wasn't really picky as to whether it was a single female or a couple because most of the time I wasn't looking for a girlfriend per-se just looking for playmates.

(I hope our advice helped you in your thread about your boyfriend)

I'm actually gonna be posting an update on that later today, but yeah, we're working through it I think. I've got a good one, I just wish relationships weren't so confusing. Thank you, everyone here has been great, so glad I wandered in.

Again, good luck, hope this helps

 

[Soulfiregirl]

Oh man, Yahoo's going to "pay to play" too? Darnit. Well, it has been a year since I posted an ad on there. Oh well. I'll try your other suggestion though.

And I'll look forward to your update on your thread!

Honestly, I'm not really sure what I'm looking for right now. A playmate, a relationship? Still figuring that out I guess. lol.

 

[geishaGirl]

Oh man, Yahoo's going to "pay to play" too? Darnit. Well, it has been a year since I posted an ad on there. Oh well. I'll try your other suggestion though.

And I'll look forward to your update on your thread!

Honestly, I'm not really sure what I'm looking for right now. A playmate, a relationship? Still figuring that out I guess. lol.

Soulfiregirl - I can relate to a few of your comments here, especially not being sure about what you're looking for right now. I am bisexual though I haven't done EVERYTHING with a woman yet...when I eventually do I think for me it will confirm that I am actually bi...

I am married and my husband is bi as well...so far I wouldn't be comfortable with him being involved if I was seeing a woman.

Exploring my sexuality is only new to me and I just identified with your thoughts on this thread so thought I'd say "hi"

 

[Soulfiregirl]

Hey, no problem Geisha. All thoughts are welcome.

*waving hi back*


Your husband is bi as well? Has he ever had a boyfriend on the side? (or if not, would you be ok with that? What about you having a girl on the side? Is he ok with that?) When you said you weren't comfortable with him "being invovled" I'm not sure what you mean. Do you mean involved with you and another woman?

Could I sound more like an eight-year-old in the way I ask my questions? What's your favorite color? Is it blue or red? Do you like red or blue together or seperate? See where I'm going with this? I'm a goofball. lol.

You've peaked my curiosity!

 

[reddcutie]

you can try....

www.bicupid.com
but i also agree that yahoo messenger is your best bet...make sure that bisexuality is listed in your interests...but beware--there are TONS of weird little dudes out there that masquerade as ladies to get some "action" going...

 

[SweetErika]

Ok, you may not have a lot of luck, but here are some free sites with lots of bi female members:
http://www.matchdoctor.com
http://www.adultmatchdoctor.com (mostly sex)
http://www.craigslist.org (look in the personals)
http://www.thepinksofa.com/
http://www.okcupid.com/

I've met and become close friends with one woman by chance through a yahoo group, and a few friends on Craigslist...it's definitely hit and miss, but if you're willing to invest some time and energy, I think you can have good results. Good luck, and if you find any good sites, let me know!

 

[Soulfiregirl]

Thanks guys (or should I say gals...lol) I'm writing all your links down. I am looking in Yahoo groups and I've already found a few, but I have to narrow them down. I'll give an update in the future as far as what luck I have with various sites.


*lifting my shirt and flashing my boobs in appreciation*

 

[rakastuja]

I cant give advices on foreign/international things since we got plenty of local dating services here...

I've kind of been thinking about what it might be like to date a couple. (where the woman is bi or maybe both are bi?) Does that ever work, or does it just make things too complicated? When I had an ad on alt.com I got a lot of responses from couples.

I dont want to say right away that it wont work because who knows it might... BUT I want you to consider one thing: a couple who have been in relationship for a while, they love each other but they probably wont love you ever in same way. In that kind of triangle there arent three equal persons but instead a clear division who's an outsider and who's not.

Most of those couples are looking just for short time fun or fulfilling a fantasy - looking for a toy that they can get rid of later - if I may put it in that way.

But I dont want to sound any more negative. Good luck in your search.

 

[Soulfiregirl]

Re: Re: Another annoying question for the "bi" ladies/couples on here...

I cant give advices on foreign/international things since we got plenty of local dating services here...



I dont want to say right away that it wont work because who knows it might... BUT I want you to consider one thing: a couple who have been in relationship for a while, they love each other but they probably wont love you ever in same way. In that kind of triangle there arent three equal persons but instead a clear division who's an outsider and who's not.

Most of those couples are looking just for short time fun or fulfilling a fantasy - looking for a toy that they can get rid of later - if I may put it in that way.

Yeah, I've been thinking about that actually and I think I'd be just asking for more heartbreak if I tried to tackle something like that. I think I'll just stick to a one on one deal for now.

Thankyou for the kind words though.