Annoying Tee Shirts

[Nasty_Deeds]

I realize this doesn’t really belong on a fetish board, but I just had to share this. Today was one of those hot, stinking, sweaty days, and as I was standing in line to pay for my drink at a local convenience store, (one of those convenience stores where the patrons move like slugs and can’t seem to pay their bill without involving their life story) a young woman cut in front of me. She was wearing cut-offs, flip-flops and a tee shirt. And on the back of her tee shirt it said:

Luxury beachfront condo
$900.00

Blue string bikini
$50.00

Sun tan oil
$5.00

Getting dumb, drunk men to pay for my drinks at spring break
Priceless!

Suddenly, I had this overwhelming urge to grab a marker pen from the shelf and write on her back:

Getting a blow job from a woman at spring break after getting her drunk
Worth every penny!

But I resisted the urge, and now it seems a lot more amusing than it did at the time.
Does anyone else find these tee shirts annoying?

 

[Stella_Omega]

You won't be surprised to hear that I do.

 

[Tastytooter]

I realize this doesn’t really belong on a fetish board, but I just had to share this. Today was one of those hot, stinking, sweaty days, and as I was standing in line to pay for my drink at a local convenience store, (one of those convenience stores where the patrons move like slugs and can’t seem to pay their bill without involving their life story) a young woman cut in front of me. She was wearing cut-offs, flip-flops and a tee shirt. And on the back of her tee shirt it said:

Luxury beachfront condo
$900.00

Blue string bikini
$50.00

Sun tan oil
$5.00

Getting dumb, drunk men to pay for my drinks at spring break
Priceless!

Suddenly, I had this overwhelming urge to grab a marker pen from the shelf and write on her back:

Getting a blow job from a woman at spring break after getting her drunk
Worth every penny!

But I resisted the urge, and now it seems a lot more amusing than it did at the time.
Does anyone else find these tee shirts annoying?

Ok, so we assume that a woman who can spend $900 on a beach-front condo for a week is probably financially savvy enough to afford her own drinks. So the only way the plan outlined in the t-shirt makes sense is as some kind of profit-scheme, and even then only if we consider "alcohol consumed" as liquid profit (haha.) So to break even she'd have to consume $955 worth of drinks over the course of spring break? That seems like poor planning, and also severe alcoholism. Even if we're being generous and assuming she spent the full 9 days of spring break (the week plus two weekends) at the beachfront condo, that's still a $100 alcohol tab every single day. I'm guessing most of us could put away $100 in drinks in an evening given enough prep and suitable amounts of peer pressure, but could we keep that up for over a week, with nary a day off in the mix? And that also doesn't take food and (inevitably) medicine into account, and I'm guessing dumb, drunk men probably aren't offering to buy her asprin or Gatorade when she starts lurching around the beach. The food bill might not outclass the drink bill, but it's definitely going to bring the profit margin on this whole trip way down. And that's just to break even. If she wants to turn a "profit" on this scheme then she's drinking a lot more than that. Frankly, I don't think this poor girl is coming home from spring break.

If her only motivation for going to the beach in a bikini on spring break is to get men to throw money in the form of beverages at her, then maybe it makes more sense to stay in her apartment, watch the movie "Beaches" in bra and panties she already owns, turn on her webcam and charge those same men (and women) $2 a minute to watch. Much more cost effective, I'd say.

 

[Nasty_Deeds]

Ok, so we assume that a woman who can spend $900 on a beach-front condo for a week is probably financially savvy enough to afford her own drinks. So the only way the plan outlined in the t-shirt makes sense is as some kind of profit-scheme, and even then only if we consider "alcohol consumed" as liquid profit (haha.) So to break even she'd have to consume $955 worth of drinks over the course of spring break? That seems like poor planning, and also severe alcoholism. Even if we're being generous and assuming she spent the full 9 days of spring break (the week plus two weekends) at the beachfront condo, that's still a $100 alcohol tab every single day. I'm guessing most of us could put away $100 in drinks in an evening given enough prep and suitable amounts of peer pressure, but could we keep that up for over a week, with nary a day off in the mix? And that also doesn't take food and (inevitably) medicine into account, and I'm guessing dumb, drunk men probably aren't offering to buy her asprin or Gatorade when she starts lurching around the beach. The food bill might not outclass the drink bill, but it's definitely going to bring the profit margin on this whole trip way down. And that's just to break even. If she wants to turn a "profit" on this scheme then she's drinking a lot more than that. Frankly, I don't think this poor girl is coming home from spring break.

If her only motivation for going to the beach in a bikini on spring break is to get men to throw money in the form of beverages at her, then maybe it makes more sense to stay in her apartment, watch the movie "Beaches" in bra and panties she already owns, turn on her webcam and charge those same men (and women) $2 a minute to watch. Much more cost effective, I'd say.

The tee shirt was a spoof of a Master Card advertising campaign, and in my opinion at the time, a jab at men in general. Since she cut in front of me in the checkout line, she came across as a women who thinks men are just dumb clods to be used. At least that was my impression, and I have to admit, the circumstances of the day didn’t help my attitude either.

Now it’s amusing. In retrospect, she appears to be one of these very attractive young women who thinks men are just dumb clods who will pay for her drinks if she shows enough skin, but in reality, she doesn’t have a clue why we buy the drinks. We know that if we get her drunk enough, she will give us a blow job.

In this case, who do you think is the smartest? The woman getting free drinks, or the man getting a blow job?

 

[bad_dave]

Ok, so we assume that a woman who can spend $900 on a beach-front condo for a week is probably financially savvy enough to afford her own drinks. So the only way the plan outlined in the t-shirt makes sense is as some kind of profit-scheme, and even then only if we consider "alcohol consumed" as liquid profit (haha.) So to break even she'd have to consume $955 worth of drinks over the course of spring break? That seems like poor planning, and also severe alcoholism. Even if we're being generous and assuming she spent the full 9 days of spring break (the week plus two weekends) at the beachfront condo, that's still a $100 alcohol tab every single day. I'm guessing most of us could put away $100 in drinks in an evening given enough prep and suitable amounts of peer pressure, but could we keep that up for over a week, with nary a day off in the mix? And that also doesn't take food and (inevitably) medicine into account, and I'm guessing dumb, drunk men probably aren't offering to buy her asprin or Gatorade when she starts lurching around the beach. The food bill might not outclass the drink bill, but it's definitely going to bring the profit margin on this whole trip way down. And that's just to break even. If she wants to turn a "profit" on this scheme then she's drinking a lot more than that. Frankly, I don't think this poor girl is coming home from spring break.

If her only motivation for going to the beach in a bikini on spring break is to get men to throw money in the form of beverages at her, then maybe it makes more sense to stay in her apartment, watch the movie "Beaches" in bra and panties she already owns, turn on her webcam and charge those same men (and women) $2 a minute to watch. Much more cost effective, I'd say.

Or possibly she just finds the tee shirt amusing and its not a statement about her life.

 

[Tastytooter]

The tee shirt was a spoof of a Master Card advertising campaign, and in my opinion at the time, a jab at men in general. Since she cut in front of me in the checkout line, she came across as a women who thinks men are just dumb clods to be used. At least that was my impression, and I have to admit, the circumstances of the day didn’t help my attitude either.

Now it’s amusing. In retrospect, she appears to be one of these very attractive young women who thinks men are just dumb clods who will pay for her drinks if she shows enough skin, but in reality, she doesn’t have a clue why we buy the drinks. We know that if we get her drunk enough, she will give us a blow job.

In this case, who do you think is the smartest? The woman getting free drinks, or the man getting a blow job?

I guess it depends on how you measure it. Socially, neither. The woman's victory is pretty shallow - she's pulled a fast one on a group she readily identifies as dumb and drunk, which isn't exactly a difficult prospect. If she had convinced sober, heterosexual women to buy her drinks then I'd say "well done". Neither has the man accomplished much to be proud of - assuming that he has managed to receive the blowjob, he has only done so after saturating his conquest with alcohol. I suppose it would be one thing if she'd shown some interest in him and together they'd gotten drunk and that led whatever would happen later on in the luxury beachfront condo, but that's clearly not the case.

Economically, it depends on how you consider the investments and risks and such. I've already pointed out that the woman has invested pretty heavily ($955 for 9 days of free drinks) and realistically I think she's going to lose money on this venture. The risk for her is pretty low, since it's easy to get dumb, drunk guys to buy you drinks if you're a hot bikini chick (or a reasonable facsimile of one.) She is, however, risking the possibility of giving a blowjob that she wouldn't otherwise want to give - is this something she can live with? If so, then her only real loss is the money, and maybe all the attention is worth that expenditure. (the alcohol doesn't count - for the cost of the condo and bikini she could easily have bought herself more than enough drinks, that's clearly not her intention) If she can't live with the unfortunate blowjob, then she's a bit deeper in the red.

The guy's investment is quite low (I'm guessing he's going to tap out after 6 drinks; if she's six drinks in and she's not already giving up the blowjob ghost then I would assume he'd cut his losses and split. It probably varies, but if 6 is too low then please correct me) Six drinks at approximately $8 a drink is about $50, or the price of a blue string bikini (apparently). But that $50 doesn't guarantee a blow-job, so it's a bit of a gamble. It's spring break, so I'm guessing the bar or wherever this takes place is full of guys, drunk, dumb, or otherwise, who are willing to buy this girl her drinks and also receive a drunken blow-job should it come to that. He also has to contend with the fact that even in a drunken state she might be more attracted to another guy and have the faculties available to direct her blow-job towards him, not the drink provider. And then he has a wider array of self-esteem outcomes to grapple with - if he receives the blow-job, is he ok with knowing that it is given in a drunken state? Or does he feel embarrassed and ashamed later on? And if he loses the blow-job to someone else, is his pride hurt, or does he write it off as just part of the spring break game?

Why wasn't economics class like this in high school?

Or possibly she just finds the tee shirt amusing and its not a statement about her life.

I'm sure she does, and I don't think it's her manifesto. I'm not criticizing the girl wearing the shirt at all - for all I know she is a Mennonite with a highly-developed sense of irony. Instead I'm criticizing the fictional woman of the shirt-joke-narrative, the one who invested in the condo and bikini and oil and such. And in doing so I'm pointing out that the joke is built on a faulty premise, and therefore not funny. I guess you might extend that as criticism of anyone who thinks the joke is funny, but that's definitely not what I'm after.

 

[Stella_Omega]

...Mennonite with a highly-developed sense of irony.

Wait, what? is that even possible?

You know who's really making out like a bandit, the landlord. Because she's only one of four roommates, each of whom is spending $900.00 for the week...

The owner comes back after ten days, and (after spending two hundred on a cleaning crew) resumes an idyllic life in a quiet seaside town with three grand in pocket...

 

[Tastytooter]

Wait, what? is that even possible?

You know who's really making out like a bandit, the landlord. Because she's only one of four roommates, each of whom is spending $900.00 for the week...

The owner comes back after ten days, and (after spending two hundred on a cleaning crew) resumes an idyllic life in a quiet seaside town with three grand in pocket...

Good call. Bonus points if he also owns the string bikini shop down the street.
=tt

 

[Very_Bad_Man]

I refuse to read shirts unless it is a witty remark from Eric Cartman

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